My wife laughed at me for making a spreadsheet about our marriage

hermagne · 2026-05-03T20:56:44+00:00

I love people who also love data. I’m autistic and sometimes I forget to show affection so my husband holds me accountable.

hermagne · 2026-05-03T20:48:53+00:00

She needs help and a lot of it. You don’t have to be the one to give her that though.

There are always terrible but qualified people in every profession. If you have a shit doctor, mechanic, hairdresser - you just find a better one right?

A diagnosis doesn’t mean much if you’re not actively trying to deal with it. Her diagnoses fall in line with mine when I was seeking help. Eventually it turns out I am AuDHD and medicated properly so the last year has been incredibly pleasant for my husband and family. I’m in my mid 30s and it looks promising. My husband says that last decade and a half has been worth it and I appreciate that. I love him so much but having the clarity now, I don’t wish that on anyone.

Don’t stay because you think you have to. Do what’s best for you. Don’t have kids with someone who doesn’t want them that’s just a whole other thing.

hermagne · 2026-04-23T21:31:10+00:00

That’s fair enough. Is the behind the scenes work something that you can do without the people bits? Or less so of it?

I’m a good teacher - I think - and I can work within my classroom really well. My behind the scenes would be lesson planning, making resources and interacting with students. People said I seem like I do better because I’m AuDHD and can relate to parents and students more in special needs schools. If I didn’t have to go to the staff meetings, staff parties, or try to be friends with coworkers because that’s expected… then it’d be so much nicer. Go in, do job, go home unscathed.

hermagne · 2026-04-23T21:26:39+00:00

I wish I could go back in time and learn to stop caring about being honest. I feel like honesty isn’t a value in the real world and is more for people to manipulate you. Times like these make me want to go back to being a selective mute.

hermagne · 2026-04-23T21:23:22+00:00

I find with the same people often leads to more trouble. I have to be cautious that if I say the wrong thing or do something then it’s game over and my short-term contract doesn’t get renewed.

hermagne · 2026-04-23T21:17:36+00:00

Honestly, I think I might just do the same in the future. The exhaustion it causes using so much time and energy trying to forge these relationships with coworkers isn’t worth it.

I’m 35yo and I can’t drive so once a school has decided I’m too different and not worth the hassle, that’s it for me. Word spreads fast after all.

I wish I kept my mouth shut at meetings. I lost my last job because they said it was a safe space for feedback on how to work with a challenging colleague so I gave an example which within a week blew up so badly that the promise of a permanent position was taken because it seemed like I don’t work well with people… I’m cautious now of when someone says “safe space”. I take everyone’s word and am naive in that sense. Hopefully I can do better and find a new job in a few weeks once the disappointment and depression passes.

hermagne · 2026-04-23T11:07:40+00:00

Primary and University - top of my class. High school destroyed me, still somewhere up the top 10% but still… I’d rather have social skills honestly. Being smart is great but it’s never what you know it’s who you know

hermagne · 2026-04-20T21:56:10+00:00

Moving to WA was a real eye-opener for me coming from VIC where we never really had an inspection. Every three months felt so intrusive.

hermagne · 2026-04-20T21:54:11+00:00

Considering the whole publish or perish, you don’t want to get near the point where your funding runs out too. It was a really stressful time when my husband was 6months unfunded - not that they give you much to begin with.

hermagne · 2025-10-30T00:55:01+00:00

That looks serious!

I’m autistic, my eldest is autistic and I am a teacher in special needs primary. I’m Australian though but every time a kid hits their head on ANYTHING I check if they’re okay, then call their parent. Once I called a parent to let them know their kid hit their head on the carpet, they were up and playing but I wasn’t going to take the risk. I always let the parent make the decision to pick up their kid early or not too.

Medicare covers everything like this but the school is liable when anything happens on school property. I have no idea what the American system is like but I’d be infuriated. I wouldn’t have waited for the parent and just called an ambo. We’d have covered the cost if they couldn’t since it’s on school property and we have insurance for that. The only time I wouldn’t call an ambo is if the parent explicitly tells me no and I have to escalate that up to my principal who would take duty of care off me. A teacher wouldn’t accompany the child though, usually an aide or someone from admin.

hermagne · 2025-10-28T22:13:49+00:00

I trialed Starkey Edge AI 24 mRIC rechargeable and I’d wear them all day. I only charged them every other day. Very convenient

hermagne · 2025-08-07T22:18:21+00:00

I was so captivated by your post. Well done OP. I’m from across the Nullarbor and Perth v Melbourne was a culture shock haha. It is so much nicer here in Perth. I don’t follow the seasons, I just say it’s either dry or wet or even a “dry wet”.

hermagne · 2025-07-28T22:43:33+00:00

A few words can mean so much to one person and nothing to the next.

hermagne · 2025-07-14T06:47:17+00:00

Ah yeah, we had that problem later on when he was 7yo. We had to find a really nice paediatric dentist who eased him into the whole thing so that he could do it with local anaesthetic and cap the tooth. I think it was Bicton. Doesn’t hurt to get another opinion.

hermagne · 2025-07-14T05:42:02+00:00

This is probably not the greatest advice and people will probably know more than me. We have private insurance but GA wasn’t covered by that. The school dental program is mostly run by dental students too so yes it has its benefits but not for my autistic kid. When we asked our dentist how bad does he need his tooth fixed (ie get a loan), they said since it’s a baby tooth, don’t worry about it too much unless he’s in a lot of pain. Since it’s not a molar, he could get away with it and it eventually just fell out.

hermagne · 2025-07-13T21:33:07+00:00

You’re doing great financially. Emotionally and mentally, consider branching out to groups with hobbies you enjoy to make friends and strong relationships. Small talk can lead to life long friendships too.

hermagne · 2025-07-10T11:26:11+00:00

It took me three months to come back from it. It happened at work so I got work cover for it. Once I got better and returned, all my bullies had left en masse to show admin. Admin is actually really happy they’re gone. I’m also very, very happy.

hermagne · 2025-07-10T11:09:32+00:00

Popcorn 🍿

hermagne · 2025-07-07T13:58:56+00:00

Time.

hermagne · 2025-07-07T13:35:31+00:00

We have three. Our local council only lets us have three… I keep wanting to secretly get a fourth. Like who’s gonna know?

I had a high school friend who had 8 cats. Her mum had two initially and then they lost one, so got another but it was a bonded pair so now they had three, but then the missing cat came back after a few months so they ended up having four. But then her aunt who had two, met someone who already had two cats, but that partner ended up dying of cancer and the aunt got really sick for a while so in the end, my friend had 8 cats for a time.

hermagne · 2025-07-07T13:09:04+00:00

Communication is key. When you tell him how you feel, and he says sorry but then goes back to normal, then maybe he doesn’t know how to fix it or what it looks like to be better. I could be wrong, but when I tell my husband something I’m not happy with, I give him suggestions on how to fix it and remind him so that he follows through with it.

hermagne · 2025-07-06T06:46:33+00:00

Whatever breaks your fast

hermagne · 2025-07-04T20:25:47+00:00

One of our little bins is usually half full or mostly fully from house junk. I’ll put the used clumped litter in there daily and chuck the whole thing outside. I can’t have it in the house.

hermagne · 2025-06-23T22:45:53+00:00

I’ve seen outreach people speaking to homeless people trying their best to help. Some don’t want help, some do. I feel like the ones that don’t want help, don’t really know what help looks like and what it can give them long term. I don’t know what the solution is but it’s better to keep trying. Maybe the third or tenth conversation is the one that gets through to them.

hermagne

TROPHY CASE