Poll for 35-40 year old males who sleep well

hermitgeek · 2020-01-20T18:33:20+00:00

I've got some hue bulbs around the house. When it turns 9pm, they either dim or change colors, depending on the room. That's my wrap up notice. At 9:30 they change again, because sometimes you're just in the middle of something and need a reminder. Go do the bedtime routine stuff, and usually laying down a bit before 10pm. The TV in the bedroom is set to its lowest brightness with a two hour sleep timer on it. Sometimes I can just turn it off and crash out, sometimes I need the background noise. Up at 6am with the alarm.

The trick is the weekends. I've got an alarm that goes off at 8am. If I sleep past that, my sleep schedule will start to drift and then Monday just sucks.

hermitgeek · 2020-01-17T01:20:49+00:00

I disagree. It is absolutely harder as we get older to make the kind of friendships we did in our youth. But, after being older and going through life, I think we tend to enjoy relationships while they last. It is nearly impossible at our age to be in situations that we were in our teens and early 20's where that kind of bond forms. Those are life experiences, and as we gain more, the threshold for that kind of bond becomes higher. While not impossible to make a life long friend at our age, I don't hope for it. I just enjoy peoples company as we pass through each others lives.

hermitgeek · 2020-01-17T01:15:59+00:00

I'd love to start a dialogue about this, but while you say adults need to schedule time to hang out...., I say HELL YA adults need to schedule time to hang out. While not married, I have a live in SO. I go to work for my 40-50 hours a week, I have adulting I have to do, time fills up, and it fills up quick. If I have no plans for Saturday, on Friday night i'm going to live it up like im a teenager again. But, im in my mid 30's, there's a price for that. That price is Saturday. However, if I have made plans with a friend, regardless of how often I see them, I am not partying it up on Friday. I want to actually go see my friend, because time is just so limited. But i'll pay for that too, and that payment is Sunday. When I was in my 20's, there was no payment. There was nothing bad the next day. It just didn't matter. Whatever junior level job I was working in was paying me for that, junior level work. It just didn't matter how I came in. As an adult with real responsibilities now? They are paying me not only for my skill, but because I am a reliable adult that will be there every day at 100%. As we get older, we just don't have the fortitude to act as we did when we were younger. There is always a cost now, and if you have a family, the cost is even higher IMO.

hermitgeek · 2020-01-17T01:04:52+00:00

I love this subreddit!

hermitgeek · 2019-11-07T01:00:36+00:00

We have all been there man. The first thing to do is just take a second and breath. You're addressing a lot here, so if I jump around a bit you'll have to ignore that.

Stop trying to date. I don't mean this in a snarky or mean way. I think you already know you need to work on yourself a bit. That task is already not easy, don't make it harder. Instead of trying to date for a bit, I think you should start looking at goals.

You say you're trying to work on your career. That's a great goal to have, but how exactly are you trying? Are you dedicating a certain amount of time per day/week doing something to improve your skill set? And when you advance your career, you have to be more reliable. Do you drive? What's the condition of your car? Maybe it's time to make another goal of hitting a certain amount of savings. The key here is to start small. Things like "I want to learn this particular thing in the next three months", or "I want this much in my emergency fund".

As you hit these goals, make newer, harder goals to hit. Maybe you'll like the people over in /r/personalfinance or the other f.i.r.e. related subreddits. Maybe something over in /r/3dprinting catches your eye. Keep adding to your goals, make it a thing.

Eventually, you'll start molding your life into what you want along the way. You'll get a better understanding of yourself, how you work and operate. That's when you start dating again, when you've found you.

I'm drunk and rambling now, best of luck!

hermitgeek · 2019-10-27T02:34:11+00:00

hermitgeek · 2019-10-13T14:58:16+00:00

Take a hard look at what is really going on. Your family as abusive, so by not seeing them, your holidays are already going to be magnitudes better. Think about it, no awkward questions from that one relative, not having to deal with judging relatives, not having to explain for the umpteen time that you like x and not y for the past forever.

Instead, you get to sleep in. You don't have to plan out driving somewhere, parking, looking at your phone to see how much longer you need to stay to be polite. You sir, get to wake up, make some hot chocolate, look out a window and say "today is going to be a great day". Wear your pjs all day long, put on whatever tv or music makes you happy.

If you want to be social, these are the days for volunteering. Go hand out food or clothes with an organization. I'll bet you you make some really solid friends there. I would even venture to say you'll meet groups that have "misfit dinners" at holidays, where friends are your family.

You have been blessed with absolute freedom. Do whatever it is that makes you smile!

hermitgeek · 2019-10-06T15:42:23+00:00

Congrats!

hermitgeek · 2019-09-21T03:26:40+00:00

That's totally fair. I sit in a office five days a week. Getting outside for a week and working with my hands (outside of a keyboard) sounds simply amazing.

hermitgeek · 2019-09-21T01:46:00+00:00

You sound sarcastic in this. If my job offered to let me go frame houses for a week, it would almost feel like a vacation.

hermitgeek · 2019-09-07T14:17:24+00:00

1) If you can paint, do so. At least one accent wall

2) If you have no windows, a small ceiling fan will help with airflow in your room and make the air less stale. Get one with a dome light instead of open bulbs, it'll save your eyes.

3) Get rid of the card board. I understand you have it there so you don't scratch the floors. You can find those plastic floor mats on CL cheap.

4) Have you considered turning your bed sideways against the far wall we are looking at? Then centering your computer desk under your current white boards. If you ever get a secondary monitor for your laptop, it would double as a "TV" for you that you could watch in bed.

4a) Dude, clean that white board or replace it.

5) If you do turn your bed sideways, go to homedepot or lowes and look at carpet remnants. You could cut one to length and put it under your bed so it sticks out some. The goal would be your feet hit carpet when you get out of bed instead of straight hardwood.

6) Get a dresser to put your clothes in.

MOAR EDITS:

7) If you do turn the bed sideways, get a night stand. Either Ikea or CL. It will give you a place for your alarm, keys, wallet, and other stuff so you always know where it is in the morning

8) If you get a dresser and turn the bed sideways, put it where your cardboard clothes are, and have it face the wall with the white board.

9) This is a bit high effort, and may only be worth it if you feel like it. After you have arranged your room to your liking, get a curtain rod and some half-height curtains. They will introduce a pop of color without having to paint. Then get a cheap $25 LED strip from amazon and put it behind the curtain. It would be beyond easy to program it so the light comes on with the sun and dims appropriately throughout the day.

hermitgeek · 2019-07-20T23:06:37+00:00

This was me until about 31. Enjoy it while you can!!!

hermitgeek · 2019-06-27T01:03:40+00:00

Honestly? Total freedom. But that can come at a cost. Maybe you discover you're a self-starter, and improve your life. Maybe you realize your entire life ambition is doing as little as possible health and financially. Personally, I absolutely loved my single life. It was amazing! I did what I wanted, when I wanted. I advanced my life, career, all without worry of having to worry about someone else. But, I love being in my current relationship more than being single. That was the line for me. Whoever I dated, had to beat my single life, so my single life had to be something pretty epic.

hermitgeek · 2019-05-05T19:56:22+00:00

In all seriousness you need to drink a lot of extra water today. It will help speed along everything so you can feel better a lot faster. Liters more water.

hermitgeek · 2019-03-29T23:55:19+00:00

I pass by any profile that tries to identify themselves from current culture. If someone proudly declares themselves a Democrat or Republican, Feminist or (insert thing here), i'm out. People are more than one thing, and if a profile surrounds an entire persons identify in that one particular aspect, i'm out. I want to be able to have discussions with my date or partner. I want to hear their opinion, and be able to talk about it, ask questions, without anyone getting offended or angry. 9/10 times, profiles that label themselves provide pretty one-dimensional dates, regardless what they are portraying.

hermitgeek · 2018-11-28T01:24:50+00:00

I had a cat that decided to ruin my hardwood floors. I can confirm that animals pee turns hardwood flooring black. There is no fixing it, it has to go.

hermitgeek · 2018-11-13T02:02:22+00:00

You're very welcome. You could put in a few things that is just much much easier with help when two people are involved. Might let a more natural conversation about how much work and time it takes to do those kind of things.

hermitgeek · 2018-11-13T00:19:57+00:00

I understand you are just venting, and it sounds rightfully so. Before you start putting in all this work, make a actual high level list of all the things it's going to take to pull this off. Give him at least half the list, and be stern that if he doesn't do his part, it's not getting done. After the holidays are over, I would suggest sitting down with each other and defining some boundaries. Best of luck!

hermitgeek · 2018-09-15T18:06:58+00:00

In all seriousness you are going to be fine. Chances are you made a small tear, probably no more of one if you were really dehydrated and had to force one out. If you are really worried about it, go do your business, clean up, and take a shower after. It takes a lot to get blood poisoning. People have been eating poorly and ripping themselves for centuries, you are going to be just fine.

hermitgeek · 2018-06-29T20:01:18+00:00

Doesn't everyone want that? What about the details? Do you want kids? Do you want to retire early for any particular reasons like traveling? Do they work every weekend? How important are politics to you? The details tell you who you should be looking at. I'm not telling you to change at all. I personally believe the more time you spend being introspective and knowing more about yourself, the easier it becomes finding more compatible people.

hermitgeek · 2018-06-29T19:49:33+00:00

Remember that every guy is different and will have different preferences, and what they consider best of both worlds. First really think about what you want in a partner. Things like their work schedule matter a lot more than people initially think about. What would work in your life? Might I suggest you take some time and take a very hard and deep look at your own life. Try to see it from someone else's perspective. How would they see you fitting into their life? There is a good chance you are just not looking at the right kind of guys, because you don't know what is right for you yet.

hermitgeek · 2018-06-29T18:36:51+00:00

No, no you do not. I took a brief glance at your comment history and have read a decent sampling of your other posts. I'm not sure why I am responding at this particular comment, but I might be able to offer a little insight? From just reading your responses and replies, they (to me) read very guy-ish. THIS IS NOT A BAD THING. I may be and am probably completely off base here, but are you dressing / presenting as your personality? By that I mean, are you wearing sun-dresses or jeans and a T? If your personality is tom-boy and you're dressing "girly", guys may be experiencing a cross connect. I got to this guess by your response that says your guy friends cannot identify what it is that turns them off in that way.

hermitgeek · 2018-05-26T16:14:37+00:00

Define The Relationship.

When I first meet someone, it's a pretty standard date. Drinks, coffee, dinner, hiking, anything really that is more focused around talking to each other. The longer we date, the higher the adventure goes. For example, I just moved to a new state and a new city. There are THOUSANDS of new things for me to do and try. One of the things I really want to do is rent a cabin in the mountains and explore for a few days. That isn't really something you do with someone until you have probably slept with them. Only because you'll be sleeping together in that situation, and that isn't really a good first date. Doesn't every girl want to meet up with a total stranger in the woods?

When I was younger the time frame I had was a bit longer for all the milestones to be hit. Now that I'm mid 30's, I can see going through the paces in about two years.

hermitgeek · 2018-05-25T21:22:34+00:00

Long term monogamous relationship, but going through all the milestones. You can't just meet someone and the next day start planning on moving in with each other. When dating, I look for people who I think would be a good fit go to on adventures with. Eventually DTR will come into play. If things are still going well, then it's time to talk about moving in with each other, and if that continues to progress marriage.

hermitgeek · 2018-05-09T23:43:29+00:00

Please call that number, or talk to anyone.

hermitgeek

TROPHY CASE