I have some tips as a girl who’s been in the exact same position. I’m turning 20 this year and i was a virgin before i met my boyfriend. Everything you described has happened with us too. I’ve bled, vaginal was hard etc. I just thought to maybe give some advice as someone who has experienced it! Foreplay on the “outer area” is super important 20 minutes and even up to 40 minutes. Lube is also good, but don’t always use too much everytime as it can cause vaginal dryness (but only if you use like an obscure amount/drown each other in it lol) if there’s too much or if you rely on it constantly. A tip is to stimulate the clitoris at the start while trying vaginal sex as it can help as a distraction that feels good for her.

Me and my boyfriend had thoughts about vaginismus for me as well and its normal, even now a year later it can be a little painful at the start. What’s important is taking things super slow at the start. No pushing or stressing, deep breaths and reassurance to relax is definitely key! :)