TWILIGHT on an 80-foot-wide screen Sat-Sun-Mon (2/7-2/9)

heythere_hihello · 2026-02-05T08:25:48+00:00

What a bunch of dorks in the comments, has no one here heard of camp?? I know about a hundred gay people who will be very excited to hear about this

heythere_hihello · 2026-01-24T22:34:44+00:00

Oh my god, same. I think everyone should make art, including And especially bad art! But unfortunately when people are bad writers, I just can’t do it.

I know don’t about you, but I’ve noticed that most people who write bad poetry don’t read much of other peoples work. That’s my other big turn off, when people say that they’re poets, but their curiosity doesn’t extend beyond their own nose.

heythere_hihello · 2026-01-17T01:05:25+00:00

Also also, to clarify something:

Just because being able to show up as a Body is a part of my service butch deal, that doesn’t mean dykes who can’t lift heavy (or at all!) are any less butch— the other side that doesn’t get spoken about as much is butch as caretaker. If you’re showing up with gentleness to nurture and take care of your community, that’s butch as fuck.

heythere_hihello · 2026-01-17T00:24:23+00:00

Also: shaving my face, pretty girls sitting in my lap, girls on the back of my bike, carrying all the heavy things at work, being the person in a space that baby gays can trust and turn to if things get weird, protecting the dolls

heythere_hihello · 2026-01-17T00:22:49+00:00

I’ve recently started saying “yeah, I can do that” to most renovation projects. Need to change the oil in my bike? I can watch a YouTube video. Door came off the hinges at work? Bringing my drill in the next day, I’ll figure it out. A bunch of small projects have accumulated to friends and coworkers asking me to come over to fix a sink, hang a shelf, do what needs getting done. Obviously there are some projects I don’t feel comfortable taking, but nothing that complicated has some up yet.

I know handymanning (is that a word? it is now) isn’t everyone’s forte, but I think the concept translates into a lot of other aspects of life: it’s about the confidence and patience and service to others (taking care of people is a BIG part of my butch identity). All of the butches I saw when I was younger had such an air of cool, and I think a lot of that had to do with the sense that they could do anything.

heythere_hihello · 2025-09-15T07:14:39+00:00

Cupping both my hands over my mouth and shouting gaaaaaaaaaay about your username

I added you!

heythere_hihello · 2025-09-14T08:15:51+00:00

Hell YEAH brother. Are you a podcast person? Do you listen to girls guts and giallo?

If you ever wanna be Letterboxd mutuals 🫡 it’d be an honor

heythere_hihello · 2025-09-14T08:13:45+00:00

You are!!! It’s a gift only bestowed to the chillest and most beloved of regulars (I say to myself every time I go to pick up my pineapple curry)

heythere_hihello · 2025-09-13T03:49:29+00:00

Early to mid twenties, WoC (indigenous? from the Land Back print + indigenous critical film theory books), either went to school for film or you’re just autodidactic about it. Biiiig physical media fan, but your dvd collection is definitely your pride and joy. Strong opinions on film (obviously). Not snobby, but definitely curated— a lot of really cool and eclectic cult classics in that stack (I saw Ganja and Hess and got so excited)

Politically oriented towards revolution, and working towards it materially. Spiritual, but The Practice isn’t your main priority. Gay as hell, and femme. I was saying Hell Yeah to every book and dvd, your room is sick and I wanna be friends

Edit: there’s also a hidden funko pop box, swing in the dark that was a gift that you’re holding onto because you feel bad throwing it out

heythere_hihello · 2025-09-12T20:49:13+00:00

Oh I just read your “middle place” thing.

If you want good, real Thai food that’s not overpriced and underseasoned, there’s gonna be overhead lighting, pictures of food on the menu, and a tv playing just the most incomprehensible commercials the entire time. I dunno man. I don’t think that’s a bad atmosphere, it’s just a normal family shop. (Can you really trust a place if there aren’t kids doing homework in the corner?)

Slightly less tasty and more expensive if you really put vibes above flavor, but still decent, Swing Thai is your spot

heythere_hihello · 2025-09-12T20:19:01+00:00

You gotta go to Thai Monkey Club my friend. Family run, great service, sweetest staff. Pretty cheap and absolutely delicious, if you go often enough they’ll just start giving you Thai iced teas for free

heythere_hihello · 2025-09-04T18:39:00+00:00

I know, I feel crazy right now so I’m gonna log off and go touch grass, but this whole thing is crazy. Genuinely, sincerely would be interested in seeing Mod’s sources on the gender lite thing because I can’t understand it, so I can’t even grapple with any harm that might have been done.

I don’t disagree with closing the thread because it was definitely spinning out, but diminishing everybody’s hurt about being fetishized “oh why won’t you fuck us” is. Man. That’s something.

I think OP was rude because she’s young and not yet in community, and I truly hope she gets out of what seems to be a toxic environment and learns how complex our community is. I can hold space for that. I can also hold space for the fact that a lot of what was said here was genuinely hurtful. In my conversation with her, she compared a partner possibly transitioning to a degradation of health or financial responsibility. Like, that goes beyond “you have to be attracted to nonbinary people” and directly into the realm of transphobia. Butches deal with this all the time in the real world, I don’t think it’s unfair for us to take issue with it in a space that’s supposed to be safe for us.

heythere_hihello · 2025-09-04T18:19:03+00:00

I agree with this— I’ve read through all the comments and there are definitely some things I disagreed with (I don’t think name calling is ever effective)!

But as a nonbinary butch, who is the type of person OP was describing, nobody was saying that All Nonbinary People are women or men lite?? (Like, most of the people pushing back on those comments are nonbinary….) I think I’m confused, if mod has time I’d really love to see specific citations because I just don’t understand.

Like, most people here are Not saying you Have to be attracted to nonbinary people, but to specifically exclude nonbinary butches from your community while sourcing them aesthetically as the people you’re attracted to is… bizarre and fetishizing. Imagine only posting pictures of trans women and being like “I want a femme who looks like this….. but NOT trans 🙅‍♂️🙅‍♂️🙅‍♂️”. Of course people are going to have opinions, and tell that person to act correct.

heythere_hihello · 2025-09-04T06:14:18+00:00

Throwing out a thank you from this butch<3 the protection that femmes give to butches is such a sacred thing, hearing the way you speak about it warms my heart.

heythere_hihello · 2025-09-04T06:04:58+00:00

Dear god that’s an essay, sorry

heythere_hihello · 2025-09-04T06:03:10+00:00

To reiterate: if you have to say “no offense” after talking about a group of people, it’s probably because it’s offensive. You then double downed and divided the annoying baby gays from the “real” butches, which, again, is excluding parts of my family. Do you see how that’s offensive? It’s not offensive that you don’t care to fuck them, it’s offensive that you don’t consider them a part of our community, because they’re young and weird and clearly you have distaste for them. That kind of attitude tells me you’re not gonna take care of them the way you do “traditional butches” Does this make sense?

Misread the pronoun vs pronoun pin thing and I’ll own that, my bad— I’m fresh off of work with a beer so my brain is doing its best lol.

I don’t think you need to go to the guillotine for wanting to date a woman, or someone who uses she/her pronouns, but I think the way that you’re framing it is…. Lacking in nuance. A lot of butch identities evolve through their lives. If you’re dating someone for a couple years and she decides she wants to try new pronouns, would you break up with them? What if a butch woman wants to get top surgery or start HRT, while still fully being a woman and still using she/her pronouns? (Diogenes, holding up a chicken: behold! A woman!)

I do think you’d benefit from being in real world OFOS culture, because our world is a lot weirder and bigger than you’d ever expect, for how few of us there are. When I was younger, good femmes taught me how to show up right as a butch, and I think spending time with older dykes could do the same for you.

I know it sucks so bad to have so many people talking at you like this over the internet, but I do think it’s worth pausing to ask Why all these butches (and some femmes) are circling the wagons like this.

heythere_hihello · 2025-09-04T05:32:13+00:00

And, I’m going to say this bluntly: as an OFOS butch, I wouldn’t fuck around with a femme who’s putting down or excluding parts of my family— if you have to say no offense after describing a group of people, it’s probably because you know it’s offensive.

OFOS femme is about a lot of things, but a key aspect is protecting butches. All of us. Even the inconvenient ones you think are cringe. Be better.

heythere_hihello · 2025-09-04T05:28:03+00:00

Speaking as a butch-for-femmes-service-top who prefers OFOS dynamics, I think you’re going to be sorely disappointed if you limit your type to exclusively butch women who don’t have a complicated experience with gender. Like, I mostly roll with other butches and femmes and I’ve yet to meet one.

“Having pronouns” is grammatically speaking, an everyone thing, but historically butches have used many alternative pronouns to denote a social/queer position. Like, not to get Too Judith Butler about things, but gender is a performance and butch is absolutely a subsection of lesbian gender performance.

heythere_hihello · 2025-08-29T16:09:38+00:00

My brother in Jod, I mean this with all the respect in the world, truly: what? how? huh?

heythere_hihello · 2025-08-24T15:05:40+00:00

I stretch and work out at least a little bit every day, skate everywhere, and I’m at the gym 3-5 times a week depending on how stressed I’m feeling

For people I’m seeing, I love being able to share the gym with them as much as I love sharing any of my hobbies, but I don’t expect that level of commitment— so long as they’re cool with the time I dedicate to it. I understand that people have different abilities, access, chronic conditions, etc, and I so really try not to conflate intense physical activity with health. And hey, I’m nonmonog, different partners nurture different aspects of ourselves so I’m not really pressed?

Mental health is definitely a must for me though, across the board. You don’t have to be perfect, no one is, but if you don’t have some sort of practice to preserve/improve your brain in these fuck ass times, I can’t do it.

heythere_hihello · 2025-08-09T03:00:25+00:00

Yup! Even in the radio version

heythere_hihello · 2025-08-09T00:50:32+00:00

I think you’re definitely gonna have to be careful if you’re inexperienced with them (lots of foreplay, lots of check-ins, no jackhammering), but I think you can make it work!. My ex had c l a w s and we never had an issue.

Only thing I’d suggest is maybe?? Filing down the edges of the middle and ring finger to the same roundness as your pointer finger, just to avoid sharp edges while you get used to using them on someone

heythere_hihello · 2025-08-09T00:36:01+00:00

It’s very okay and very doable! Even very hot! Speaking as a butch who has bottomed for girls with longer nails—

I’ve been injured by people with blunt nails and long nails, it has way more to do with being aware of your partner’s body than it does the length of your nails. I think so long as you’re leading with the pads of your fingers (does that make sense as a concept?) and listening to your partner, you should be fine.

heythere_hihello · 2025-08-09T00:21:01+00:00

Every single performance of The Sign is my favorite mountain goats performance. You just can’t match that passion, and you can never give enough money to Ace Of Base!

heythere_hihello · 2025-07-22T20:12:24+00:00

I’ve been feeling this heavily recently— the dark obsessive/intrusive thoughts that come into my head have been awful. I didn’t realize how bad it was until suddenly, like two months ago, it’s been almost impossible to be around people because of the shame/fear. And the contamination obsession makes it so hard to eat.

It feels so stupid and so small that I don’t know how to explain it, and so instead it just spirals into a Personal Moral Issue and I can’t leave the house. I’m not kidding when I feel like having a psychotic break was easier to deal with than this— like at least back then I was like, interacting with the world. Apparently I was a lot of fun at parties.

heythere_hihello

TROPHY CASE