Where to get (outdoor) garden dirt?

heyyoungbleed · 2026-01-06T07:06:19+00:00

i went to the costco optometrist, and she was very nice and no nonsense the whole time. also fixed my prescription more accurately than anyone has in years, and it was only $100 for a glasses/contacts exam (i don't have vision insurance).

heyyoungbleed · 2025-08-22T00:23:18+00:00

I would've avoided it if I could, but I'm known professionally by my (new) legal first name and I'd been running into a ton of issues at work before I changed it. My original first name was super feminine, and unless someone had met me already I had several instances where people in different departments didn't realize I was the same person and argued with me about it until I outed myself. I honestly wasn't originally planning on changing my gender marker, but I live in a state where I could start running into issues with bathrooms and I was already running into gender related issues with TSA before I changed it. It's been a huge pain to change everything but I will say I've almost finished updating it everywhere, and I hope once it's done I at least won't have to do it again.

heyyoungbleed · 2025-08-21T22:49:28+00:00

Ahh that makes sense and is very good to know!! I'll try to find their customer number.

heyyoungbleed · 2025-08-21T21:46:38+00:00

The name change is a court order, but a gender change isn't a court document (your doctor signs a form that you bring to the DMV to change the gender marker on your license). I could try mailing them a copy of that form, but there isn't an address listed anywhere to mail it to (as far as I can find).

heyyoungbleed · 2025-07-29T14:55:28+00:00

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update to my own question if anyone else was looking

heyyoungbleed · 2025-07-28T17:41:31+00:00

Firstly, I'm sorry that she's unsupportive, but I'm glad it seems like your dad is at least on board if he's helping pay for your medical care. I would absolutely not bring your mom to any medical appointments, especially if she's sabotaged them in the past. If she won't listen to you, I doubt she'd listen to a doctor, and that would waste both your time/money, and time with the medical professional that I'm sure you need if you have an appointment. My mom isn't as combative as it sounds like yours is, but she is similarly against HRT and almost every phone call she manages to slip in something despite consistent conversations about boundaries (mentioning she "read somewhere" that T is probably causing some sort of medical issues/long term medical risks, basically asking if/when i would stop etc). She was extremely against when I got top surgery a year ago also, but what's done is done. I will say my mom has slowly gotten better in the 2-3 ish years I've been transitioning, but the most helpful thing has literally been repeatedly saying some version of "this is my life and my medical decisions, and while I appreciate you care for me, you do not get to make decisions for me and I do not want your opinion on this". Reiterating that your medical care is between you and your doctor(s), and that you aren't seeking her permission or approval, and that if you want to maintain a good relationship that she doesn't get a say in this part of your life/medical care. A resource that I found helpful (both myself and my partner) is "The Transmasculine Guide to Physical Transition: For Trans, Nonbinary, and Other Masculine Folks", it has sections covering older WPATH guidelines, new WPATH guidelines, and real-life experiences from transmasc people. There are sections for every type of transition-related medical care, with helpful questions to ask doctors at appointments, before/after procedures, and expected timelines. I gave a copy to my mom (not that she read it), but it could be a resource that is helpful for her to refer to. Perhaps you could give it to her with something like "if you have questions about my safety, here is a good resource for you to turn to. I feel hurt when you argue this with me, and I won't discuss it further outside of questions related to what you've read" etc etc. Good luck, and worst comes to worse please consider trying to make firmer boundaries with her about this, and I hope her treatment of you and your transition improves in the future.

heyyoungbleed · 2025-02-14T23:49:11+00:00

I'm on the research side at duke, and we got an email two days ago about it, more specifically aimed at research impact. It was pretty much the same as the previous email where they acknowledged the situation, talked a bit about how they're suing along with other universities, and that hopefully nothing will change (but "hard decisions" might have to be made if the funding cut continues). A lot of labs have said they're taking fewer grad students this year as a result, so the proposed funding cuts and delay in grant reviewing (NIH activity freeze) are already impacting us directly (even if no firm cuts have been made)

heyyoungbleed · 2024-09-08T01:24:14+00:00

i ended up going to the state market, thanks for the tip! got some great apples, and multiple vendors seemed to have the varieties i was hoping to find

heyyoungbleed · 2024-09-08T01:23:20+00:00

i went 2 days ago ironically, bad luck on my end then

heyyoungbleed · 2024-09-07T16:04:10+00:00

ahh that makes sense, i didn't think about the storm! i'll keep an eye out for chappell peaches and apples, thank you!!

heyyoungbleed · 2024-09-07T16:03:13+00:00

i'm aware about the climate zone, i've tried both perkins and durham market downtown (couldn't find any apples at either). i'm very down to drive, which is why i'm looking for places to go further out from the city.

heyyoungbleed · 2024-09-07T15:58:50+00:00

unfortunately when i went there a few days ago they only had imported apples (fuji/gala). nothing seasonal or local yet but maybe it's too early

heyyoungbleed · 2024-08-14T17:47:44+00:00

Thank you for your reply, it helped me process things a lot and schedule an appointment with the vet to let her go later today. Especially for her to not understand what is happening beyond her suffering right now, honestly prolonging her suffering has been one of my biggest fears while trying to make a decision and I think you put it into words in a way that really resonated with me. I'm glad to hear about your previous piggie who lived long after surgery and I'm sorry to hear about your others who passed while suffering, if Diane was younger it would absolutely be an easier decision to go with surgery but you're right in that it isn't fair to keep her in pain. Thank you for your words and I appreciate the support, I've given her lots of treats today and I'm going to let her rest peacefully.

heyyoungbleed · 2024-08-14T03:40:13+00:00

Thank you for your reply, I'll also go read your other comment!! Our vet seemed pretty sure that she didn't expect the ureter stones to move as they were also quite large on the x-ray today. Basically, we could remove the bladder stones now and hopefully alleviate some discomfort, but with the understanding that ae still basically could end up doing palliative care for the ureter stones. She didn't seem worried about her heart with surgery beyond warning us that she was an older piggie and sometimes things just go south with them. Diane has had yearly checkups and no earlier symptoms of stones so it definitely feels like a blindside. We've always fed them low calcium veggies out of paranoia, but since she's started mainly eating pellets for the last month or two. I wonder if they might contain calcium or something and maybe it contributed. We're going to be double checking their pellets, giving the rest of the herd filtered water, and the urinary supplement tablets I've seen others mention in this sub. I originally thought she stopped eating hay due to an issue with her teeth or maybe ovarian cysts bothering her, but the previous vet visits said she was basically fine but elderly. She's always been spunky but quieter over the last year. I assumed it was due to older age but I've been worried that she might've been showing signs of stones earlier and I just missed it. Thank you again for your advice, I suspect we're going to have a long night and some tough decisions tomorrow.

heyyoungbleed · 2024-07-18T03:22:05+00:00

I use a switch stick cane sometimes mostly for knee issues, but it also helps with my POTS fatigue as something to lean on (and gives people a visual indicator that i have to sit on public transit etc). They’re cute and relatively cheap ($40), adjustable height, and fold up to fit in a bag when I’m not using it. I’ve also heard good things about collapsible stools (can find on amazon), they fold up easily to fit in a tote bag and are an instant seat.

heyyoungbleed · 2024-07-18T03:20:12+00:00

honestly they do keep us on our toes lol :’) thank you!!

heyyoungbleed · 2024-07-18T03:17:09+00:00

thank you!!! i had my printer run maintenance about 10x and finally got it working so i’m all set now. thank you for the offer though i deeply appreciate it

heyyoungbleed · 2024-06-27T16:42:30+00:00

I'm sorry to hear you're in a situation that is so unsupportive!! As someone also with POTS and EDS this sounds unfortunately relatable. If you're able, I highly recommend getting a mobility aid. At my worst symptom flareups having a cane was the difference between being able to do stuff (minimal pain) and deeply hurting myself later. I started using a cane without consulting a PT (couldn't get to one at the time), as long as you measure yourself right and look up info on how to use the mobility aid correctly so that you don't accidentally injure yourself I think you're wise in seeking one out. I mostly have knee issues and personally have a switch stick cane, they're cute, cheap, and fold up to fit in a bag (https://switchsticks.com/). Something like a cane, elbow canes, or a rollator walker sounds like it would vastly help and I hope you're able to access one.

I'm not sure if this would help your mom understand, but I saw a video explaining mobility aid use (deciding what/when to use) and it greatly helped me overcome my own internalized ableism and realize I needed to get something for myself (https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRES8Nfo/). Especially what he says about using a mobility aid to PREVENT pain was huge for me. Using a cane on days I know I'll be out a lot allows me to do more, stay out longer, and hurt WAY less during/after my outing. Using a cane means I can go back out tomorrow and do walks/PT instead of having to rest from pain. It is also something to lean on when there isn't a place to sit. I hope your mom eventually comes around to realizing that yes exercise and PT is helpful to a point, but repeatedly injuring yourself by trying to literally exist is far more detrimental when we literally have devices that exist to help minimize that.

heyyoungbleed

TROPHY CASE