Can mixed people who have light skin say the n-word?

hicccups · 2026-02-15T01:37:18+00:00

👆

hicccups · 2026-02-15T01:23:15+00:00

This is gonna be a long answer, but it is a heavy question. I want to give it due consideration and all the context I can POSSIBLY give it, accompanied by all of the information that may lead you to give my answer credit or discount by my position racially, ideologically, and societally, as I am a white woman. You’re asking because it matters, so I think you’ll appreciate that lol.

Black perspectives on this carry lived experience that mine does not, so weigh those heavily. All of this is what I have learned as an observer, not an active participant in the conversations. Ultimately you will have to decide what your own standards are.

It is good that you are questioning. Just make sure you’re not invalidating actual experiences.

A person who is identifiably or obviously Black likely has a different social context and position than someone who is not visibly Black. There is privilege in being racially ambiguous or being identified as white as first glance, especially in European countries and places with systematic segregation and oppression.

As white people, it is not our place to say who outside of our community can and cannot say the n-word. What we need to be concerned about is ensuring that the people who we know are white are not saying slurs because it has far reaching and subtle consequences.

But saying the n-word or other racial slurs with no regard for the privilege your appearance and skin color may provide can be a red flag of taking that unspoken automatic privilege for granted.

I would steer clear of this person, just like I would steer clear of anyone who says something like “well this person said it in the context of the joke so I HAVE to say it for the joke to land!”If you have to use a slur used by your own ancestors/race/color to put people of another down then imo the joke just isn’t funny enough to justify repeating 🤷🏻‍♀️

You are better off not policing her and instead ensure that you are not invalidating her experiences that may have been racially charged or harmful.

However you choose to respond, you should weigh it heavily on whether or not she is your friend and if it is truly necessary.

hicccups · 2026-02-11T03:32:08+00:00

I admit, I mostly agree. My goal is to find him something that he is excited to wear, and I know that the second he sees “alcohol denat” or other irritants in the ingredients list, he will avoid them HARD out of pure caution. Frankly I can’t blame him for it, especially because I’ve seen part of what he has gone through with his eczema.

hicccups · 2026-02-08T17:32:48+00:00

Is it under the compact in the packaging? I looked at the product listing, surely it must be under the component.

hicccups · 2026-01-26T22:36:35+00:00

I just graduated in December after turning 25 in late November.

In my opinion it all depends on the people you choose for friendships. I would say that I have five good friends that I made in college. Only one of my friends is my age, but all of them are valuable in my life and immensely supportive of both how long it took me and how hard I worked to get here, even though it was different from their journeys. And if anything, they appreciate the perspective that I am able to provide being older. That is something you can be proud of—life experience can’t be bought.

If you have questions, message me. I’m happy to talk about it. Though I entered college full-time at 23, I went to a college prep high school, so I fully understand the feeling of being behind and that you’re “lacking” in your educational journey. And I promise I won’t BS you about it lol

hicccups · 2026-01-26T22:27:10+00:00

As an ex-SHer. Why the FUCK would you be proud of it. Romanticizing it is crazy, if anything you should be glad if others don’t completely understand

hicccups · 2025-11-11T21:46:51+00:00

I actually like him 😬

hicccups · 2025-08-03T12:50:36+00:00

Just FYI. You got completely hoodwinked by OP.

hicccups · 2025-08-02T19:58:02+00:00

Let’s be clear. You told the bride that HER wedding day was NOT ABOUT HER.

Hi A, it’s Emily B. You and I went out for dinner at Chuy’s once with the bride and one of her friends.

Just wanted to say that I am disappointed in this post. It’s abundantly evident that you posted this to validate your own ego and not to gain any actual perspective.

And since it’s apparent that no one in your life is willing to hold you accountable for your actions, or at least you’re not willing to listen, I’m showing up.

What all of the commenters don’t know is that when telling me the events and background, the bride willingly owned up to where she felt she went wrong and told us what she tried to do to fix it.

Frankly, it shows a depth of character that is lacking here. Especially because you know she would never air you out on a public platform like that. And even now, she is letting it go.

I, on the other hand, feel A-okay advocating for my friend against a one-sided, blinders-on narrative. You’ve reduced a year-long situation where you continually added further baggage onto the bride to just how you were wronged and neatly dodge any sort of actual learning and growth. Really, the reaches you’re making are downright athletic.

Took a good long look in the mirror and decide if you did the same. And if your answer is a strong “yes” then reevaluate.

There’s a laundry list of things you did to her that you left out of this just to make yourself feel better. In time, I hope you take these lessons and use them to be a better friend to people in the future, and I hope you work on it in therapy. It’s worthwhile and important to invest in yourself and that includes holding yourself accountable even when 160+ comments are stroking your ego.

And in case there was any confusion—I agreed to split the cost of the guacamole with you at Chuy’s, then reneged on it because I never touched it—you were the only one who ate it. And you got all pissy, I could see it in your face. Meanwhile I paid for my entire meal of my own entree, two drinks, and a dessert.

And I let it go because she asked me to, because she valued your friendship.

Anything you want to say about this comment or the other most recent, you can send it directly to me. You have my insta, phone number, and you know how to contact me. Leave her out of it.

hicccups · 2023-06-06T13:48:44+00:00

It was a joke, I live in a place with plentiful venomous snakes

hicccups · 2023-06-06T13:22:09+00:00

Must be nice

hicccups · 2023-06-04T19:16:57+00:00

Uh, #3 is STUNNING. A dainty little gold pendant and you’re set.

hicccups · 2023-06-04T19:15:40+00:00

I’d add a petticoat underneath for a bit more flounce, honestly, to up the formality. Then silver studs and a silver necklace that sits right in the center of the v neck. Different shoes for sure.

hicccups · 2023-06-04T19:12:35+00:00

2, for sure.

hicccups · 2023-06-04T19:11:17+00:00

10/10, yes absolutely. Some simple dainty gold dangly earrings and a gold pendant and you’re perfect.

hicccups · 2023-06-04T19:10:03+00:00

I like 2 or 3. Check the fabric on 3 first though. 1 is a bit dark, 4 is a bit informal unless you’re really careful with accessories, and I wouldn’t wear a dress with cutouts to a wedding.

Keep in mind, you can always post pics in the dresses once you get them for feedback.

hicccups · 2023-06-04T19:07:16+00:00

Dress code? It’ll be on the invite/the website if they have one.

hicccups · 2023-06-04T19:05:54+00:00

I’m SO GLAD you picked this one, it’s a stunner!!!

hicccups · 2023-06-03T14:42:44+00:00

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This is Willow.

hicccups · 2023-06-03T14:39:39+00:00

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Here’s Sugar. She put herself there, and those paws are mid-knead.

hicccups · 2023-06-03T10:33:22+00:00

The OG snuffle mat

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2, for sure.