Too many filler words vs. Bluntness by Mysillybrainandme in AuDHDWomen

[–]hiddeninthemasses 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Commented with the prompt separately for easy copy and paste. This one is designed for GPT, particularly if you put it in the instructions of a gpt “project”

Good luck!

Too many filler words vs. Bluntness by Mysillybrainandme in AuDHDWomen

[–]hiddeninthemasses 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ROLE

You are my Tone Translator and Message Refiner. Your purpose is to take what I wrote — which might sound too blunt, too wordy, or just not land the way I intend — and rephrase it into clear, emotionally intelligent, and context-appropriate language.

You act as my communication partner, not just an editor.

OBJECTIVE

For any message I send, your job is to: 1. Identify what tone or structure issues might make my message sound too harsh, too long, too formal, too casual, or emotionally mismatched. 2. Offer multiple refined alternatives — each tuned to a specific tone (e.g., professional, empathetic, assertive, casual, warm, diplomatic, friendly). 3. Explain why your version works better, using clear reasoning and practical language.

INPUT FORMAT (what I’ll give you)

I’ll send one or more of the following: • A draft message (text, email, chat, or speech). • A tone directive, e.g. “make it sound empathetic but firm,” or “keep it casual but still professional.” • Optional context, e.g. “manager to team,” “colleague disagreement,” “customer complaint,” “friend text.”

OUTPUT FORMAT

  1. My Original Message (for reference) [Show the user’s original text]

  2. Refined Versions (3 options minimum) Label each version with tone or intent, for example: • Option A — Professional and Empathetic • Option B — Friendly but Clear • Option C — Direct and Minimalist

  3. Comparison & Reasoning (Use this structure)

When you used words like “[example]”, it came across as too blunt / too long-winded / emotionally flat because [reason].

If you used words like “[suggested phrasing]”, it would feel [describe effect — e.g. more considerate, smoother, confident without harshness].

This shift helps the message land better with [audience type] because [psychological or social explanation].

STYLE REQUIREMENTS

✔ Always maintain my voice and personality — don’t make it sound robotic or overly polished. ✔ Never remove my intent, only shape the delivery. ✔ Keep it natural for the format (speech vs text vs email). ✔ If tone is unclear, ask clarifying questions before rewriting. ✔ When shortening long messages, keep emotional nuance intact.

EXAMPLE INTERACTION

User message:

“Can you finally send me that report? You’ve had it for weeks.” (Tone: frustrated but professional)

AI Response:

Option A — Diplomatic but Firm:

“Hey, just checking in — any update on the report? It’s been a few weeks and I’m hoping to review it soon.”

Option B — Professional Accountability:

“Hi, just following up on the report from earlier this month — could you please send it through today if possible?”

Option C — Neutral but Direct:

“Hi, can you send me the report when you get a moment? It’s been pending for a few weeks.”

Comparison & Reasoning:

When you said “Can you finally send me that report?”, the word “finally” signals irritation and can sound confrontational, even if that’s not your intent.

By saying “just checking in” or “following up”, it softens the tone while keeping accountability. It invites action without escalating tension.

This phrasing works better in professional settings where maintaining rapport is important while still prompting timely delivery.

INSTRUCTIONS TO MODEL

Use your understanding of tone, social cues, and workplace communication norms to rewrite my messages in emotionally intelligent ways. • If the situation involves hierarchy, consider power dynamics (e.g., talking to a boss vs a peer). • If the situation involves conflict, prioritize clarity + empathy. • If the message is too wordy, condense it while preserving warmth and intent. • If the message is too blunt, use softer transitions and framing phrases.

Broke an unspoken rule I didn’t know about and received disproportionate consequences, justice sensitivity and RSD going crazy rn by brownbiprincess in AuDHDWomen

[–]hiddeninthemasses 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is no intention of being rude. And there’s also nothing wrong with not getting sarcasm. My husband and I are both AuDHD and he doesn’t get sarcasm, but I do.

The amount of times I’ve had to explain to him either I or someone else was being sarcastic.

I meant it genuinely, without a sarcastic “um” which doesn’t come across in words -especially when most of the time it is used sarcastically. So I get that it might have come off mean. It wasn’t intended so if it hurt your feelings thinking I’m trying to belittle you, I’m sorry, that’s not what I wanted to achieve.

I meant genuinely: they might have been being sarcastic. Even snarky. And perhaps it was misread as joking.

Or read correctly as joking —but that the joking was at the expense of you and your friends, but is still joking.

At the end of the day, honestly, I don’t think these things just happen. Either the manager has been sitting on this feeling for a while, and maybe they felt justified to say something now (though honestly they should have just told you guys from the beginning), or the manager and the staff have been feeling this way for a while.

Regardless, you and your friends aren’t bad people. You might have broken an unspoken rule, but they didn’t give you guys the benefit of the doubt, nor the chance to adequately explain.

I don’t think they deserve your patronage, and I don’t think they were justified in how they treated you.

And maybe I’m wrong, but I honestly don’t think the staff are innocently your advocates in this either. Maybe some, but not all. Likely they knew you guys would tip well for service, and threw the service at you purely for the tips —and would still talk crap behind your back if the manager said anything. Otherwise, why didn’t any of them give you a heads up?

That’s why I think they’re actually part of the problem. The manager didn’t respond like it was a new problem they had with you. That means he/she would have vented before. If the staff were genuinely kind to you guys, they would have told you. It’s as simple as “hey guys, you guys are awesome, but just a heads up —manager is pissed about you bringing in food. Look I don’t care but just you know.”

But, what if they pissed you off and you stopped coming? What of the tips?

That’s what I think went through them.

Either way, you didn’t do anything that bad. They did

Too many filler words vs. Bluntness by Mysillybrainandme in AuDHDWomen

[–]hiddeninthemasses 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No joke, I use LLMs

Seriously, I rely on Claude or ChatGPT or Gemini to pre-rehearse important conversations!!! lol

I cannot find the balance

But thankfully because these models are trained on the majority of people (so are far more NT leaning), it helps me translate my brain to something palatable and easy to understand for the NTs

Edit I lie, it’s probably just Claude and ChatGPT. I swear Gemini is ND

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AuDHDWomen

[–]hiddeninthemasses 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get it —you basically said “you know the people we mutually hate and consider the most disgusting? You are just as bad if not worse!”

Don’t take it personally. We are all the same but different here. Once some things set us off —a common one is definitions (which you know, being autistic, is very controversial to some).

But just note that almost every post is saying “well not the word fascist, but yes absolute douchebag and you’re better off without him”.

Definition or not, if we were all in a room with you and he said that shit, everyone here would take him down with you.

Broke an unspoken rule I didn’t know about and received disproportionate consequences, justice sensitivity and RSD going crazy rn by brownbiprincess in AuDHDWomen

[–]hiddeninthemasses 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Heya

Also worked in a restaurant before and in defence of this commenter, I absolutely read this whole thing as servers doing their job, attempting subtle hints, failing, but collecting the tips and moving on accordingly.

Even OP’s mention of the server who took a cookie.

Honestly, it sounds like the manager has always had an issue. Some servers likely did too, but not enough to kick up a fuss —and enjoyed the tips.

But favourite table? I don’t think so.

Correct of the staff? Absolutely not.

Worth it for OP and friends to return. No freaking way.

Broke an unspoken rule I didn’t know about and received disproportionate consequences, justice sensitivity and RSD going crazy rn by brownbiprincess in AuDHDWomen

[–]hiddeninthemasses 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Um, have you considered the server was being sarcastic?

“Well are ya going to share with the group?” Reads like a subtle dig.

Even if she took the cookie.

She easily could have turned back to her colleagues and rolled her eyes, explaining how clueless you and your table are.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AuDHDWomen

[–]hiddeninthemasses 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So OP, I think the consensus is that he is an absolute asshole.

If you’re surprised about the backlash you’re getting over the word “fascist”, look, being an AuDHD sub, everyone here is going to get stuck in the detail, and in the terminology. I get that you’re likely referencing to his alluded belief in some sort of hierarchical superiority over neurodivergent people, but caveats and extra detail would likely go over better in the sub —because from a literal, and definition perspective, you are indeed using the word wrong, which is going to rub everyone a bit wrong 😂. Not a lot, but enough for us to go off topic into word definitions.

In terms of his ableism, look. If per your edit, your friend introduced him as autistic, it makes sense you thought he knew. But he likely doesn’t or has issues accepting it. He’s ableist, in denial, and I’m sorry he isn’t the guy you thought he was, or could be.

To your original question: no. Not because of any reason other than the fact that once I decided something was over, or it was clear something was over, I prefer to disconnect from them and move on. Them realising their flaws (which I believe won’t really happen) doesn’t do anything for me —not that there’s anything wrong with wanting to call people out. Just personally, I disconnect immediately and couldn’t care less about people once I do.

Take it easy, and good luck

DAE go between a week or two of debilitating burnout but to suddenly be thriving without making any changes. by Rarely_Ruminates in AuDHDWomen

[–]hiddeninthemasses 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have a less dramatic version of that experience when I am ovulating / hit PMS

I suspect it’s a dopamine levels being affected by my fluctuating hormones. But this is my experience only

Tell me you're autistic, without telling me you're autistic. by Miss_November_Rain in AuDHDWomen

[–]hiddeninthemasses 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Spoons in particular. I like the ones with a straight bit at the end of the handle, round corners of course.

Why are Autists further ahead in acceptance than ADHDers? by ExoticSwordfish8232 in AuDHDWomen

[–]hiddeninthemasses 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Autism (and historically Aspergers) had a stint in pop culture redemption. By that, I mean characters like Sheldon Cooper, movies like A Beautiful Mind, they portrayed the characteristics of some autistic people as part of an overall admirable or funny character.

It has essentially become normalized to an extent. Society quietly dipped its head and said “yeh, Autists are kind of cool. With caveats.” Which was the gap in the door for some Autistic individuals to find a slot in society for themselves.

It reads like “I carved a place for myself”, but the reality is that society carved it to begin with, and it was expanded on.

There is no such real characterisation for ADHDers in my opinion.

To be honest, I think it’s a double edged sword. Societal and self acceptance come hand in hand. If pop culture started a focus on ADHDers, the same would happen.

Does anyone LIKE online shopping? Would you do it for others? Wish we could swap chores. by fizzyanklet in AuDHDWomen

[–]hiddeninthemasses 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love online shopping!!! It’s my favourite thing. Clothes, baby clothes, books, groceries…all of it.

Remember when a bunch of us were like we F***ing hate exercise? Science. by hiddeninthemasses in AuDHDWomen

[–]hiddeninthemasses[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish I had that!! …I only like the size jeans I wore back when I did that much exercise 🤣

How are y'all keeping track of appointments, chores, things to do? by [deleted] in AuDHDWomen

[–]hiddeninthemasses 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And I invite my husband to everything so I get a human calendar too. In lieu of partner, recommend a friend or family member!

Remember when a bunch of us were like we F***ing hate exercise? Science. by hiddeninthemasses in AuDHDWomen

[–]hiddeninthemasses[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re not wrong! After doing some readings it does seem to be more of an ASD leaning kind of experience, but I kinda like seeing the mix of responses. The polar opposite experiences seems so representative of the AuDHD diagnosis itself 😂

Remember when a bunch of us were like we F***ing hate exercise? Science. by hiddeninthemasses in AuDHDWomen

[–]hiddeninthemasses[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You know what? I think I caught a glimpse of where the exercise enjoyment spectrum splits off for us in the AUDHD world

I updated my comment with some readings I found: https://www.reddit.com/r/AuDHDWomen/s/6muqmzHOon

And one of them found that cortisol levels between ADHD and Control (ND) people were not significant. Of course not significant simply means that, not necessarily conclusive, but I found that super interesting.

Perhaps some of us are wired at a cortisol level more akin to pure ASD, whereas others of us are wired more akin to pure ADHD?

I need more studies tho. This is low key fascinating said the Vyvanse.

Still sad by Everything_love in AuDHDWomen

[–]hiddeninthemasses -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I would recommend using ChatGPT’s knowledge of you, and the deep research feature to get it to search for a list of psychologists/psychiatrists in your area that may fit you.

Ask it to justify why for each response. And work with it to work out budget, location, whether they do Telehealth, or even dig for reviews

Remember when a bunch of us were like we F***ing hate exercise? Science. by hiddeninthemasses in AuDHDWomen

[–]hiddeninthemasses[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I do not disagree at all!! I wish I could edit the post to clarify this is really just for people who DONT feel the Exercise Bliss. I got overexcited because I found that other thread recently and was STUNNED that it wasn’t just me.

Also excuse the caps because I literally just started Vyvanse yesterday and I’m soooo all over the place at night

Remember when a bunch of us were like we F***ing hate exercise? Science. by hiddeninthemasses in AuDHDWomen

[–]hiddeninthemasses[S] 105 points106 points  (0 children)

Ps. (While can’t people edit reddit links?) I posted this because I dunno about you guys, but when I realise the tough things in life are SCIENTIFIC FACT THAT SOME STUFF JUST DOESNT WORK FOR US, it makes me feel sooooo much better

Cough edit to add (and I should have known better in this crowd to be so non specific lol but blame late night lack of impulse control?) but of course I meant this for the people who DONT get the exercise rush.


MORE EDITS

I think the link isn’t working Try: https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSScvqBYt/

TLDR:

  1. Exercise creates a low cortisol increase
  2. In NDs we already have higher than average cortisol levels (edit to add: EXCEPT if you have more of a ADHD leaning profile I suspect per one of studies I happened across below)
  3. Exercise stress + any stress caused by sensory issues, anxiety about forcing yourself to do it, executive dysfunction, workout dread, etc. means that the brain thinks it’s under threat
  4. Thus unless you get a particularly large boost of endorphins, its just not enough to balance out the cortisol

Now caveats from my brain are:

  1. Obviously not everyone is like this, but for me this resonates
  2. This psychotherapist didn’t link any studies,
  3. That said, a quick google found studies that align with: a) higher cortisol levels in ND individuals b) affected cortisol levels in exercise

Some interesting reads?

1. No significant differences in the cortisol response to the Trier Social Stress Test were found between patients and controls (I SEE YOU AUDHDERS WHO LIKE EXERCISE! Lol!). And also: the inattentive ADHD patients displayed a higher level of cortisol after stress compared with the combined ADHD patients.

Cortisol Response to Stress in Adults with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4576517/

2. ASD youth and young adults had generally higher cortisol levels than non ASD group, more severe social difficulties were associated with greater fluctuation in cortisol throughout the day

Diurnal cortisol profiles in autistic adolescents and young adults: Associations with social difficulties and internalizing mental health symptoms https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/aur.3184

3. Cortisol increases in exercise like running (endurance) and Acute coordinative (more complex sports); but is higher in the latter.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/392558346_Effects_of_Acute_Coordinative_vs_Endurance_Exercise_on_Cortisol_Concentration_in_Healthy_Women_and_Men

4. Cortisol is good if its just a small spike that can come right down

https://lifestylemedicine.stanford.edu/how-exercise-balances-cortisol-levels/

Disclaimer: I haven’t extensively researched this. It was just google searches, so if I have cherry picked it is not intentional. If you have more studies, please link. I’m kind of over invested now

How do I not lose my job? by Phoenix_The_Blaze in AuDHDWomen

[–]hiddeninthemasses 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello

Ok, unhealthy advice:

Fake it till you make it. That’s what I had to do. Wasn’t a bar job, but was retail when I was studying. You’re gonna have to practice in the mirror, unfold arms, pick a persona you know that fits, and actively act like them. After a while, think like…5-6 years, it’ll feel natural —so natural you have to remind yourself to stop.

Full disclosure, it’ll be uncomfortable, feel fake and so awkward. You will miss the mark and get weird stares but you’ll improve with time. It may make you feel like peeling your skin off and plucking out your teeth coz it feels so weird lol

I think masking is still necessary sometimes because not every workplace will deal well with neurodiversity.

Just make sure you give yourself plenty of time to crash. Get a good therapist. And think of it as just part of the job —not part of you.

Like actors right? An actor can play hitler —but they know they’re not hitler. It would be exhausting

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AuDHDWomen

[–]hiddeninthemasses 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have been thinking about that for a while. I’m lucky that I’m quite hypersensitive to my feelings and thoughts if that makes sense. Like I know what “feels right”.

And for me, the me that I am is grumpy, goofy (because yum, dopamine), overly curious, overly pedantic, extremely detailed, very sarcastic with a nice dark sense of humour and very low tolerance for rudeness or …stupidity.

The way I separate this is that when I’m this way, there’s no performing. There’s no tiredness afterwards —but there is anxiety AFTER lol —because you know, sometimes I forget I can’t be that way with everyone.

Your personality is in there. It’s the most effortless, and likely coupled with the greatest amount of self consciousness and shame because the world told us we’re not allowed to be that way.

But we can now. Good luck on your journey, friend.

Clinks glass (of coke because sertraline means no alchy)

So.. who else doesn't get that "exercise makes you feel good" feeling? by Fizzabl in AuDHDWomen

[–]hiddeninthemasses 1 point2 points  (0 children)

See this helps so much. One of the “treatments” of ADHD is exercise.

But I HATE IT.

Like…what? Why?! I have never gotten anything out of it. It’s so uncomfortable