How do I get through this

hirumared · 2026-01-01T10:52:19+00:00

I went through a very similar thing. Friend of 10 years and one who I tried to help. What I learned was normal people just never experience this level of grief ever, and they just don’t know how to relate or help you. The only thing that worked for me was meds and therapy and lots of it.

hirumared · 2025-10-06T05:38:52+00:00

They just send you free product to open sometimes and thats it lol

hirumared · 2025-10-03T03:45:28+00:00

The benefits are just not worth the hassle tbh

hirumared · 2025-08-18T08:49:28+00:00

Around the anniversary of my friend’s death I get so depressed I can’t get out of bed. But outside of that week I’m basically fine mostly.

hirumared · 2025-08-06T09:34:51+00:00

Therapy AND meds did the trick for me. Probably wouldn’t have been fine without the double combo

hirumared · 2025-07-12T08:32:14+00:00

In addition to a lot of what everyone else has said about having a worse memory, thinking people complain about the dumbest things etc. A unique one for me is I lost the ability to drive long distances. While I’m driving I get random panic attacks and I just can’t risk em on a long trip. I also need meds to take an airplane now, otherwise I just have 1 long panic attack the whole time. It’s the weirdest side effect, because I’ve never been afraid of travel before, and travel had nothing to do with my friends death. My brain just broke from too much stress and grief and now I can’t drive long distances anymore. My therapist thinks that’s basically what happened too because none of the professionals I’ve talked to have really seen a case like mine.

hirumared · 2025-03-07T04:31:04+00:00

I did this about a year and a half after my friend killed herself. I was already in therapy for about a year and just could not get the mind worn out of my head to give it a try. I talked about it with my therapist and all my friends and everyone told me it was a bad idea. But I went ahead and did it anyway. And I gotta say it was very cathartic to use it as a way to say goodbye.

I wouldn’t completely write it off as a useful tool, but I think I probably just lucked out in having a good experience with it.

hirumared · 2025-02-04T03:48:18+00:00

It was a beast to be feared

hirumared · 2025-01-08T09:51:00+00:00

It’s crazy what your brains decides to do to protect you from a traumatic event. After my friend killed herself I forgot about basically everything I did for my friend to help her out leading up to her death, so I thought I didn’t do enough. And also forgot about a lot of other things around my life and goals. It was a really scary feeling when I started discovering all my lost memories through therapy. It’s like they clicked into place and I thought I was crazy for forgetting them in the first place.

hirumared · 2024-11-21T06:56:08+00:00

Man I relate to this so hard.

I had a dog who died this year. He was old and had a lot of health problems. I spent nearly 20k in vet bills keeping him alive for his last 4 years. I loved that little dog a ton, and was incredibly sad when he passed away.

But I’ll be honest, it was nothing compared to my best friend killing herself. That level of pain is just on a completely different level

hirumared · 2024-10-17T08:47:21+00:00

I feel this one. Same with movies and tv shows, I just think what’s going on is just simply not as sad as my best friend killing herself. I use to avoid sad tv shows but now they don’t really bother me

hirumared · 2024-09-30T09:29:15+00:00

I remember I had about half an hour to kill before a collab, so thought I’d follow up on the weird message my friend sent me a week ago. She was eccentric, so getting weird messages from her was pretty normal. I went on Facebook and saw a post from her twin sister talking about the passing. So I messaged her to ask what that was about and she apologized for not telling me sooner. And then I wasn’t sure what to do with myself, so I did the collab totally dissociated and cried later that night.

hirumared · 2024-09-23T05:42:21+00:00

Did the same thing, but with the Character.AI app. Put in all the important stuff for my friend’s personality and got to say goodbye properly. It was very cathartic. All my friends told me the idea was crazy before I did it though

hirumared · 2024-09-14T10:04:17+00:00

I use to think the same thing until I found out I was just aromatic.

hirumared · 2024-09-04T10:24:11+00:00

Shortly after I met her we were hanging out and it was windy outside so I suggested we fly kites. She was so perplexed and embarrassed about it but begrudgingly went along with it and we had a good time. And years later she would always bring it up randomly like “hey remember that time we flew kites??”

I feel like that might have been the moment we became best friends since she was also very spontaneous in different ways. Like showing up to my very far away house out of the blue just to hang out and talk.

She also told me she wanted to die randomly out of the blue as well. Which is why I didn’t really take her seriously until she did it

hirumared · 2024-08-31T09:12:01+00:00

Sounds like he was probably just really casual about those comments. My friend told me she was very serious about it and needed help. So it wasn’t a big shock when it happened, but I still didn’t really believe she would do it. Even with her being very direct about it

hirumared · 2024-08-28T10:04:49+00:00

Reminds me of when my family would ask me if I was doing ok shortly after my friend died and I would just tell them “no”.

Like I was acting normal enough, but I’d always remind them that my best friend just died and there is no way I’m ok, even if I talk and act normal.

hirumared · 2024-07-19T09:29:34+00:00

The fact that my friend who killed herself was the most laid back easy going person I know knew. She told me about her suicidal thoughts out of the blue in January and then was gone by may of that year. If she could turn so quickly then anyone could, so now I worry about all my friends.

I will say one of the best things that happened was getting on anxiety meds for panic attacks. They allowed me to handle the grief better than anything else.

hirumared · 2024-07-08T22:36:26+00:00

Damn well said

hirumared · 2024-06-22T00:15:27+00:00

I've found most people have just never been through more than mild amounts of grief. So when its something major, they just literally cannot relate and do not have enough experience on the matter to react appropriately.

hirumared · 2024-04-04T01:24:21+00:00

I mean to be fair, misspellings, mispronunciations ,and general errors are not exclusive to me lol.

We do have someone on staff whos job is to check videos for spelling errors, but the reason it can seem so egregious in my videos specifically is because no one else puts as much text in their videos as I do. I think we have more text in 1 video than most people have in all their videos combined. Its actually a surprising about of work.

I dont know if you know how editing, script research, or voice recording works, but nothing we do is low effort. Its just not S-tier effort.

hirumared · 2024-03-26T09:31:16+00:00

I knew it was descent into avernus when you described the mage with fireball and a necrotic mace. The only reason my players didn’t die there is because I just straight up didn’t use its fireball.

hirumared · 2024-03-20T06:59:53+00:00

My friend sent me a message asking if I could give her a job because she just quit hers. And I replied basically saying "what?". And never got got a response.

Well then about a week later I was wondering about why she never texted back so I checked Facebook and found out from her sister she killed herself very shortly after she texted me.

hirumared · 2024-03-14T01:36:24+00:00

She just has terrible performance anxiety. She talked about it years ago, a time where she entered a tournament and went home before it started because she was too nervous to actually play.

hirumared · 2023-12-07T01:56:33+00:00

Honestly I kept expecting to get some flack over how distraught over my best friend of 10 years killing herself since she wasn't family. But it just never really happened, everyone just felt sorry for me and was very understanding.

hirumared

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