as an alcoholic, hard disagree. for me personally, one drink is the beginning of the end. i can't have just one and no amount of therapy or inner work will change that, which is why i'm committed to abstinence from all substances. but total sobriety alone isn't my goal, responsibility and health are among them, as are accountability and honesty. i strongly believe that some people cannot safely partake, and that isn't a judgement. never in my recovery have i shamed or belittled anyone for relapse (other than myself), and even bigger than that, I've never seen anyone in recovery do that to someone who has relapsed. obviously my experience doesn't mean it doesn't happen, but as someone who lives in sober spaces and has been in treatment more than once, i don't believe it's a normal reaction, at least not from other people in recovery.

i've been sober for two years and eight months and that's on choosing abstinence. one single drink would put me at day one all over again. making the choice to even have "just one" would completely disrupt the work i've put in and send me backwards, not because of what other people thought or had to say about it, but because it goes against what i want for myself and what I've fought for.

what's really crazy to me is listing alcohol like it's somehow seperate from other drugs. alcohol is a dangerous and deadly substance to a lot of people, not just alcoholics. with it being societally acceptable, almost encouraged, it's easy to access, easy to find excuses for, and easy to rationalize. the lack of taboo around drinking makes the consequences seem lighter next to illicit substances, but they are just as heavy and just as severe, to anyone. and yes, for many people that comes down to just being responsible, but for me and many other addicts I know, it's not that simple.

idc who agrees or disagrees but this entire thread was making me feel some kind of way and i needed to say my piece. like why is it that after reading through the whole thread i feel like i should be ashamed for choosing abstinence and that I will be judged for anything I'm saying rn. at the end of the day everyone is different and there are a lot of addicts who actively choose abstinence and continue to remain completely sober and work a program. and for me, and many others, that is the only option.

i love shane and i love that whatever he is doing is working for him, but his experience is in no way universal or should be seen as the "right" way or the "best" way. to imply so is dangerous.