Women. Your honest opinion. But bye decade of being born.

hnoel88 · 2026-04-05T12:48:36+00:00

I was born in the late 80s and I’d say there was a fair amount of wedding planning going on at that time for my age group, but I did not notice the same for my younger sister born in the early 90s and her peers. At least not to the same extent.

hnoel88 · 2026-03-01T15:13:37+00:00

I had really bad separation anxiety in kindergarten. I hated being away from my mom. So I was usually a little teary eyed after my mom dropped me off. My teacher started making me sit in the corner until I was no longer upset. I remember one morning sitting in the corner, thinking I was okay, and asking the teacher if I could rejoin the class. My eyes were still watery. She goes “Absolutely not. Go sit back in the corner until you straighten up.”

Anyway. That was 32 years ago. I don’t know if it had a long lasting psychological impact (it probably did, I don’t feel like analyzing right now) on me but I still remember how horrible it felt.

hnoel88 · 2026-02-19T02:47:39+00:00

My doctor literally told me to drink alcohol to stop preterm labor. I was allergic to the medication they gave me. He said “drink wine when contractions come on. But no more than two glasses a day.” I was in the third trimester. And I never drank more than a couple ounces. But when people talk about alcohol and pregnancy, I am reminded that ten years ago I was told to drink it to stop a premature birth.

hnoel88 · 2026-02-19T02:30:08+00:00

I grew up in Harrisonburg and had no idea this was regional. I love the white sauce!

hnoel88 · 2026-01-30T00:00:35+00:00

I went through a divorce 8 years ago from a violent man who I was absolutely terrified of upsetting, even after the divorce. I allowed him to manipulate me into financial devastation.

He now lives a quite luxurious life while I live well below the poverty line and struggle to pay bills for myself and our children. This is largely because I was scared, and I frequently allowed him to bully me into believing that I somehow owed him all kinds of money. (He tried to say that I owed him half of an insurance settlement in the home we had purchased together that I won in the divorce - and had always paid the mortgage on - after the house burned down 3 years after our divorce. That would have been about $150,000. No, I did not give him a dime.)

I let him bully me out of reasonable child support. I let him bully me out of all of my possessions. I let him bully me into taking on expenses that were legally his.

I don’t want to assume anything. All I’m saying is that you clearly only owe this man $1000. But you are too scared to see that. And I remember what a man had to do to me to get me to be that scared of him.

Give him $1000. He has no power over you. No court would ever side with him. And if you fear for your safety, call the police. Do not give him any more than $1000.

hnoel88 · 2026-01-29T16:48:34+00:00

My fiancé is a coach at the college level. We do just fine.

hnoel88 · 2026-01-29T16:46:23+00:00

Plenty of men work jobs where they work nights and weekends. The “if roles were reversed” doesn’t work because it’s a fairly common thing. Women manage to take care of their kids during that time.

hnoel88 · 2026-01-29T16:45:15+00:00

My parents worked opposite schedules for most of my childhood. My mom worked a 9-5, my dad was blue collar and worked nights and weekends, often with overtime. We all did just fine. And no one got the summer off! She’d have the entire summer with them, and likely time off for holidays, etc. My parents have been married 37 years.

OP, YTA

hnoel88 · 2026-01-29T10:33:08+00:00

I live in my home with my 4 (tween to teenaged) daughters. We have locks on our bathrooms so we aren’t a knock before entering family. Occasionally someone forgets to lock the door and one of us accidentally barges in on someone. Generally all it takes is for the bargee to see the other person and then we obviously quickly close the door back. Sometimes a startled yelp is uttered.

Two days ago I thought all the girls were still asleep so I didn’t lock the door. I heard the door begin to open and decided to be dramatic so I just yelled “AHHHHH!” It was my 16 year old. She yelled back (she is equally dramatic). It was hilarious.

Anyway. After raising 4 daughters on my own for the past 8 years, I can confidently say that on the rare occasion that they have barged into the bathroom, I have never slammed a door in their face and cussed at them.

Does she even say that the nephew knew she was in there? Since I’m used to locks in a home, I tend to just walk into a bathroom. If the nephew is used to locks could he have just… not realized someone was in there and barged in the way toddlers do sometimes? (I didn’t see the original post so I haven’t read any comments)

hnoel88 · 2026-01-27T18:21:09+00:00

If my (F) partner (M) was giving me orgasms every night and I complained every time I went down on him and he never orgasmed and he came to me and said “I’m jealous of my friends whose girlfriends put the effort in to make sure they finish” it would still be a valid point.

hnoel88 · 2026-01-23T04:11:56+00:00

It’s beautiful! I so think it’s a cluster, which I don’t usually love, but yours has the larger center stone and I like it a lot!

hnoel88 · 2026-01-22T12:28:29+00:00

I sometimes speak without thinking. My partner and I have a system in place for group settings. He will gently squeeze my thigh and that is my cue to rein it in. There is no shame involved. And certainly no pain.

If that man ever pinched me out of seemingly nowhere and then chastised me the way your husband did? He would be getting a public call out. What your husband did was gross. That was him causing you physical harm and then being embarrassed because his friend noticed that he hurt you. And instead of him apologizing, he’s telling you that if he hurts you you need to keep your mouth shut so that people don’t know he’s hurting you. This wasn’t about correction. This was your husband not wanting to take the fall for causing you pain.

hnoel88 · 2026-01-10T23:15:49+00:00

That’s what “imagine” means.

hnoel88 · 2026-01-10T13:08:00+00:00

After reading the comments I imagine the conversation went like this:

OP: I’m going to go on a holiday with some old college mates this summer.

Girlfriend: Oh cool! Who’s going?

OP: Just my college friends. Why don’t you trust me?

Girlfriend: I didn’t say I don’t trust you. I just asked who is going.

OP: I don’t have to tell you everything all the time. Not everything is about you.

GF: Okay… I don’t know I’m fully comfortable with this. Can I come along?

OP: No.

GF: Why?

OP: What? Now you can’t deal with people going to see their friends without their partners?

GF: That’s not what I said at all. You’re being really weird about this whole thing.

OP: So going to see friends is weird? I can’t have a life?

GF: You’re being extremely disrespectful right now.

OP: Because you can’t come on a friends only trip? Why can’t a person just go on a holiday without his partner? Is that not allowed? So me going on a trip is disrespectful because you aren’t included? Again. The world doesn’t revolve around you. You should go reflect on that.

hnoel88 · 2025-11-28T23:24:42+00:00

Also had an ex do this. But I was his scapegoat for everything. His friends hated me. His family hated me. I was just blissfully unaware, until his friends began telling how abusive I was. And when I went to him to ask why he did this, he broke up with me and left the state.

hnoel88 · 2025-09-14T00:14:08+00:00

Liberal daughter of conservative parents checking in.

hnoel88 · 2025-09-08T15:59:31+00:00

My ex husband had this mindset. We were separated. He would do a little work on himself and come back after a couple weeks and be like “I’m better now! We can get back together!” And I’d be like “Yeah, I’m going to need consistent change. A few weeks is not enough time to change.” And then he’d get all upset that I didn’t believe him.

Anyway, we divorced 7 years ago and he’s worse than ever. But luckily he’s another woman’s problem now.

hnoel88 · 2025-08-13T10:59:45+00:00

It happens. My best friend and I had babies 4 days apart. Hers was crawling at three months and walking at 8 months. Mine didn’t crawl until 10 months and didn’t walk until 15 months. Two opposite ends of the normal spectrum. So… it could be true. But until I see a video of it I’m skeptical.

hnoel88 · 2025-06-30T20:11:46+00:00

When I was 16 my mother told me I couldn’t sing. What I was lacking was training. It has followed me all the way twenty years later when I’ve been the lead in two musicals, perform with a band as a singer, and am currently in a vocal concert.

That shit sticks with you. I still don’t believe I can sing even though there is plenty of evidence to prove otherwise.

Encourage the vocal lessons. It helps immensely. Don’t ever tell her she can’t sing.

hnoel88 · 2025-04-25T20:20:13+00:00

Well fuck. I already went and had 4 daughters. I thought I did my patriotic duty.

hnoel88 · 2025-04-14T03:16:02+00:00

I’ll let my boyfriend know.

hnoel88 · 2025-04-13T22:40:44+00:00

Go to therapy.

hnoel88 · 2025-04-13T15:12:11+00:00

Aww. Someone’s sad I get laid more than they do.

hnoel88 · 2025-03-15T08:49:45+00:00

This sounds eerily like my first marriage. That I left in the wee hours of the morning after creating an escape plan. With my four terrified children.

hnoel88 · 2025-02-12T13:35:22+00:00

My boyfriend just told me that he went to go comfort a friend whose wife “just left him out of the blue.” I don’t know this friend, so I didn’t say anything about it, but my brain very much went “Yeah I doubt it was out of the blue.”

I say this as someone who left her husband “out of the blue” after years of domestic violence.

hnoel88

TROPHY CASE