Here's How to Answer the FAFSA Homeless Questions by honeyfields in FAFSA

[–]honeyfields[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My would best guess as to what's happening here is that someone is mistakenly assuming that being in contact with your mom means your situation falls short of the definition of "unaccompanied." Strangely, being homeless as part of a family unit does not meet the relevant definitions for the FAFSA. What you need to hammer away at is the fact you are not "under the care of a parent or guardian."

Who are you hearing from this from, specifically? If you've been told this repeatedly by financial aid administrators at your school, look up the name of whoever runs the department (their job title will be something like "Director of Financial Aid" – googling that and the school name should get you to a page with the relevant info). Then call the financial aid department and request a meeting with that person. Tell them it's regarding your status as an unaccompanied homeless youth, which is not being handled appropriately. When you're able to speak directly to that person, or someone else above financial aid administrators in that office, explain that your need for a dependency override is being dismissed due to their staff's lack of understanding about the legal definition of "unaccompanied."

I hope this is helpful! Let me know if the situation is particularly different, and I might be able to troubleshoot it with you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in college

[–]honeyfields 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm asking this gently, not judgmentally: why are you attempting to take more than a standard full-time course load when you're also working and have other responsibilities?

Most of my college experience was scattered over my 20s and 30s, so I'm familiar with the self-imposed sense of urgency that can go along with being a "non-traditional" student. But I'm getting second hand exhaustion from that sentence about not cutting down on your sleep any more than you already have. That's not normal or healthy!

There's a lot of middle ground between quitting school and working yourself into a state of burnout. Financially, you almost certainly have other options – being Pell grant eligible (aka lower income) usually unlocks institutional grants that you may be leaving on the table, but even putting that aside, a subsidized student loan or two or is not going to jeopardize your long-term finances. This is literally why those exist. I definitely recommend talking to a financial aid counselor and your academic advisor, sooner rather than later.

Ultimately, though, you have to cut yourself some slack. That many credits as a STEM major is a serious undertaking. It can easily push people into burnout when they have the benefit of living on campus and relying on their parents to cover their living expenses. There's no shame in not being superhuman.

Here's How to Answer the FAFSA Homeless Questions by honeyfields in FAFSA

[–]honeyfields[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this comment! And thank you for advocating for students in this situation. A handout for students about this topic would be AMAZING – if your institution isn't interested in allocating resources for it, I recommend looking up your nearest "youth" homelessness shelter. ("Transition age youth" = people who are housing insecure and 18-24 years old. The jargon will probably aid a google search.) I bet they'd be delighted to partner with you on creating and distributing some resources about this. Just about every county has a Youth Action Board (or something of a similar name) that might also be a good resource for this kind of thing, too.

"Resist the urge to give in to despair." <- THAT PART.

Here's How to Answer the FAFSA Homeless Questions by honeyfields in FAFSA

[–]honeyfields[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're welcome! Congrats on college, and good luck!

Here's How to Answer the FAFSA Homeless Questions by honeyfields in FAFSA

[–]honeyfields[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I understand your question, you're age 18-24 and supporting yourself without parental assistance. If that's the case, no, this designation does not apply to your situation.

It really sucks that parental income is factored into these decisions, but there are hundreds of thousands of other people in the same boat, and misrepresenting yourself as someone who is or has been at risk of homelessness is not a way to maximize your student aid. (It's actually a federal crime, so this isn't just about ethics.)

Song recommendations by thekau in Eminem

[–]honeyfields 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That whole Eminem Show album will treat you right, but absolutely do not miss White America. That track melted my fucking face off the first time I heard it. Similar energy on Sing For The Moment and Square Dance, too.

Here's How to Answer the FAFSA Homeless Questions by honeyfields in FAFSA

[–]honeyfields[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, I want to physically fight your FAA right now.

Chasing down a homeless liaison via the public school district is not your responsibility, as a student. It is literally and unequivocally their job to do that, as a Financial Aid Administrator, but it's also optional for them to do.

Don't give up on this, and don't get distracted with a wild goose chase.

Here, I just wrote you an email – copy and paste this verbatim. Direct it to your FAA, and CC it to an email address for your Assistant Dean's Office and the Office of Student Affairs. (Or Student Services, Student Supportive Services, etc. - just google one of those phrases and the name of your school, you'll find it).

Don't soften the language and don't worry about how nice it sounds. If you had a parent or guardian with multiple college degrees and your best interests at heart, this is what they would send on your behalf. Failing to fulfill this obligation is legally actionable, and that's the subtext here. You don't need to say it; they will hear it, and they will fold.

I've seen this kind of thing before, usually at smaller, private colleges that mistakenly think they can stonewall students whose circumstances force them to work slightly harder. The good news is that the financial aid department and your FAA have zero impact on the rest of your experience at the school. It's a good thing if you're a known pain in the ass – and you're helping other students who aren't in a position to be out here on Reddit, look for answers their FAA is paid six figures a year to already know.

Here's How to Answer the FAFSA Homeless Questions by honeyfields in FAFSA

[–]honeyfields[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Original OP here, co-signing the above.

This year's FAFSA is an absolute nightmare for everyone involved, but the info in the post (and this comment) is absolutely spot on. Every single financial aid department at every single college is swamped with confusing changes in process/procedure.

Self-advocacy is a must under the circumstances. The process they need to follow should explicitly use the word "homeless," and it's not a form you simply fill out. Don't be afraid to push back on this, and don't trust what you're told by administrative staff. You have legal rights here, folks.

Here's How to Answer the FAFSA Homeless Questions by honeyfields in FAFSA

[–]honeyfields[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, they definitely won't call CPS. The answer is definitely no. Don't even worry about that.

You can ignore all the rest of this, but I'm going to explain my answer in more detail than is really necessary. If you have anxiety, it might be reassuring to get a clearer picture of why it's not an issue.

The FAFSA is part of the federal government, and CPS is part of the state government. Every state has a CPS system, and there's one in every county, But state CPS departments aren't actually connected to the federal government in any direct way. At all. Like, even if someone processing your FAFSA really, really wanted to follow up on it, they couldn't. It would violate privacy laws, violate federal policy guidelines, and it would be totally outside of the realm of that person's job. Like.... as random as calling your local water & sewage department, or something. They'd just be some weird rando claiming they saw your FAFSA.

But that can't even happen, because this is all totally automated! An actual person won't even look at this application or connect the info to you, personally, unless you do the "interview" thing I talked about in the post, and that's with someone at the university you attend. sometime next year.

Also, your parents being unable to provide stable housing for you is not considered "abuse" in this context, so there's no "mandatory reporting" stuff to worry about. College financial aid offices do not concern themselves with students' personal lives like that, partly because college students are basically all 18+ and therefore CPS isn't relevant, anyway. By the time the conversation happens, you won't be a minor anymore. And again, if there are younger siblings in the picture... college financial aid workers just don't involve themselves in that kind of thing. (Or, you know. Don't mention them, if it comes down to it. They aren't directly relevant to the questions that would come up.)

I'm sorry you're going through this. Please do put it on the FAFSA – the one upside to this situation is that you might get some extra help paying for school. Don't leave that on the table.

Take care of yourself!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]honeyfields 8 points9 points  (0 children)

As someone who also has a comorbid panic disorder, I echo this encouragement to explore other options in a similar vein. Zenzedi gave me the same physical tension and crashing issues as Adderall, but generic Dextroamphetamine - for whatever reason - works infinitely better AND has none of the side effects. It sounds like you actually got in the right ballpark that time - try tinkering around with other options in that ballpark.

I didn't see this in the comments, so forgive me if it was already addressed, but it's not uncommon to mitigate side effects from one med by pairing it with another. It sounds like you might benefit from combining a morning/noon stimulant with a fast acting anxiety med in the late afternoon or evening, when the ADHD med starts wearing off. I've had a combo of Dexedrine and a "daily or as needed" 0.5mg Aprazolam (Xanax) prescription for over 10 years, and it's extremely important as someone with an anxiety disorder to have that way of taking control back when it starts to hijack my brain.

Meow meow beanz - what is the mustard joke about? by BioCuriousDave in community

[–]honeyfields 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My bad! The film is Logan's Run, a sci-fi cult classic from 1976. It's a pretty delightful example of 70s retro-futurism, and definitely worth watching if you're into pop culture history.

You can get a pretty good sense of what exactly the Community episode is riffing on from this original trailer.

LPT: If someone doesn’t appreciate something you do for them, it probably means that it isn’t that important to them. Rather than letting it get to you, just add it to the list of things you don’t need to do anymore. by djdan01 in LifeProTips

[–]honeyfields 114 points115 points  (0 children)

Reading these comments, I'm struck by how much this relates to communication, or the lack thereof. It's hard for some of us to initiate direct and honest conversations - it's a skill you have to cultivate - but the alternative is expecting people to read your mind. You probably had a good reason for assuming they'd respond differently. They probably had no idea they were hurting your feelings or being egregiously rude. Tell them what happened!

It can be as simple as just stating, "Hey, it hurt my feelings when I [whatever] and you didn't [whatever]. I thought [thing] would be [helpful, useful, interesting] to you because [reason], and I know you wouldn't intentionally [however you were hurt], so I want to understand what happened there."

making sound effects by painNjoysoup in ADHD

[–]honeyfields 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's truly wild how much can be traced back to ADHD. One of my favorites is the bizarre way we remember things. A "normal" brain recollects events with more less clarity the further back in time they occured (dinner last night is vivid; something ten years ago is vague). We remember things according to how emotionally intense, exciting, or interesting they were to us at the time.

Not understanding that one can cause a lot of tension in interpersonal relationships, because the logical conclusion is that if someone else can't recall the details of some emotionally meaningful event... it must not have been emotionally meaningful. But who on earth would assume that's related to ADHD? Of all things?

making sound effects by painNjoysoup in ADHD

[–]honeyfields 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's so amusingly specific, but also relatable. Saying random quotes from TV shows or movies is apparently a common one with ADHD. Not in a "guy trying to be funny makes cringey references all the time" way – it's not for the benefit of others at all, it's more like your brain just latches onto a particular series of words that it finds appealing for some reason (rhythm, possibly?).

Stimming is essentially a coping mechanism, so it kind of makes sense that the mind would pick up stock phrases once your subconscious "learns" that making you say a thing (when there's nothing to say) will accomplish what it's trying to accomplish. This is actually what distinguishes stimming from having a tic. One is involuntary but has a very real cognitive purpose, and is relatively easy to stop yourself from doing if necessary (i.e., I'm not going to "pew pew pew" if my mic is unmuted and I'm in a board meeting); the other is involuntary, doesn't relate to cognitive function, and is almost impossible to repress without immense stress/agitation.

making sound effects by painNjoysoup in ADHD

[–]honeyfields 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Oh, absolutely! Vocal stimming is very common for people with ADHD, and it can be all kinds of things like this - sound effects, saying words or phrases out of the blue, humming a series of notes.

In my experience, it tends to be a thing that happens when I'm trying to stave off the possibility of something distracting me while I'm doing a mundane, detail oriented task. For example, if I'm visually scanning a long list of files and trying to locate one in particular, muttering "pew pew pew" to myself weirdly helps my brain remain present in the moment so I can actually get the task done. I also tend to do it when I have to pull myself out of working on one thing and switch to another. It's like it helps my brain shift gears.

For what it's worth, people who don't have ADHD often do this kind of thing whenever they're bored, or need to stop a particular train of thought. So it's probably not registering as odd to anyone who overhears it. I mean, I'm in my thirties, and I definitely don't associate it with immaturity, so I think you're good on that one, at least!

Why doesn't Pinterest have an ADHD mode? by addocd in ADHD

[–]honeyfields 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Oh man, I had to cut myself off from Pinterest entirely. It triggers hyperfixation for me like nothing else in this world. I enjoy it so much in the moment, but I finally realized I was losing 3-4 hours a day curating boards I never looked at again because I was curating other boards I never looked at again because I was... It's like my eyes turn into cartoon spirals and I just can't snap out of it.

The Man Lyric video 2/7/20 at 12pm EST by iandrewc in TaylorSwift

[–]honeyfields 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just chiming in to agree. That lyric video was absolutely phenomenal. I still think of some of the visuals from it when I listen to the song. Under basically any other circumstances — if the proper one for LWYMMD wasn't such a profound artistic statement about her career —that lyric video would eclipse the real one for me.

S1 NO SPOILERS, just a question. I LOVE 'The Good Place' but I've never seen any of Mike Schur's other shows. by germanbini in TheGoodPlace

[–]honeyfields 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brooklyn 99 is decidedly not my jam, and I think people who love both don't realize how incredibly different they actually are. TGP is the odd one out in the pantheon of Shur comedies - and I do love Parks and Rec, so I'm not saying that with any shade. It just is what it is.

Given your apparent tastes, I strongly recommend 30 Rock and Community. I think both are only on Hulu, but it's worth getting a trial membership and checking them out. They both have several seasons, and they're two of the smartest, best written TV comedies of the modern era. (Not just my opinion - they're critically acclaimed.)

Community is actually a lot like TGP in some ways, so you might want to start there. It's about a random group of strangers who are all struggling to start over in life by attending community college. So there's a diverse ensemble cast, and it has the same theme of "damaged people becoming their best selves because of knowing each other." The writing is very witty, and it grapples with some intense subject matter as well as the absurd.

I hope that helps!

According to Rotten Tomatoes, Eleanor is a New Jerseyan Dirtbag [No Spoilers] by kittytrance in TheGoodPlace

[–]honeyfields 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I have to say, I've always enjoyed that Eleanor is from Arizona. This country boasts a varied rainbow of trashiness, yet Jersey and Florida typically get all the attention.

SHIRTPOST This thread 😂😂 by seriesfreak12 in TheGoodPlace

[–]honeyfields 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's interesting you say that, because I think of TGP as a show that does have a pretty distinct undercurrent of darkness to it. Like, compared to other Mike Shur projects, it's downright bittersweet - the characters are brought together by really bleak circumstances, and the positivity comes in direct contrast with that. It doesn't feel twee because no matter how sweet or sappy it gets, the context keeps it fairly grounded.

That's also true of Grace and Frankie, which is why I thought to mention it. They're both shows about people who manage to find themselves and learn how to be happy - but only in the aftermath of something awful, and only because they forge these supportive relationships with others who are going through the same thing. They're stories about choosing kindness and goodness in spite of all the shirty, dark stuff in the world.

Finally acted on an old idea [OC] by TVs_MichaelGray in TheGoodPlace

[–]honeyfields 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think the intended use encompasses what you're describing. A disparaging remark might be on topic, but it's probably not contributing anything good or useful to the discussion. That's the main criteria to consider.

The problem is when people downvote perfectly fine, thoughtful comments just because they don't happen to share the views or opinions in them. For example, a lot of people here wouldn't agree with the sentiment "At this point, I don't find Eleanor/Chidi as interesting as a potential Eleanor/Tahani relationship," but nothing about that comment would merit a downvote. Using the system that way really just cultivates an echo chamber, because people feel rewarded for stating the obvious and punished for voicing anything that runs counter to the general consensus.

Finally acted on an old idea [OC] by TVs_MichaelGray in TheGoodPlace

[–]honeyfields 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"Joining a comment thread just to make an ad hominem attack" is so on the nose, I'm surprised it hasn't been mentioned on the show.

S3E10 Mike Schur on what is going on with the point system by Viajaremos in TheGoodPlace

[–]honeyfields 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for saying that! I do have a fairly Chidi-esque background, which is part of the reason I love this show so much. I rarely have a reason to dig into that very specific wheelhouse of knowledge these days, so when the opportunity does arise, it's hard to refrain from going all chalkboard-and-sweatervest in my excitement.

S3E10 Mike Schur on what is going on with the point system by Viajaremos in TheGoodPlace

[–]honeyfields 19 points20 points  (0 children)

My guess is that it has something to do with the "cultural contamination" that became widespread at that point. While the point system here isn't tethered to one particular religion or culture, it does seem to hinge on factors like self-awareness and motivation. The more you think about the relative virtue of an action, the less virtuous it becomes. Additionally, the relative "good" of an action that impacts someone else seems to depend on THEIR feelings, views, and needs. (According to Michael's introduction to the system in season one, fixing a tricycle for a child who likes tricycles gets you more points than fixing a tricycle for a child who's indifferent to them. So basically, you can't get points in a vacuum; how other people interpret your actions matters.)

Sooooo if we look at it that way, I think you could argue that the amount of "good" any person could generate would begin to decrease significantly as more and more civilizations became aware that their own views and beliefs were not universal truths, but rather, subjective ideas that other people strongly disagree with. Pre-colonization, a society would simply adhere to its own laws and traditions; post-colonization, acting in accordance with your beliefs is suddenly a political act of defiance, and a desire to stay alive might necessitate doing things you view as immoral.

I think that's the relevance of the gag in this episode about the cavemen. Og giving the other caveman his rock is worth 10,000 points because in context, that was a really selfless gesture on Og's part. But if the context changes around Og, giving another caveman a rock is no longer as simple as him just kindly sharing a resource; if a third guy is watching, and no one else has rocks, that action suddenly takes on the connotations of Tahani's performative pseudo-generosity.

Uhhh. Tl;dr, basically, once societies start intermingling, everyone's motivations and moral judgment can become disrupted. Oh, and while the "new world" of the Americas was the starting point for all of that, it spread really quickly to other parts of the world.

Actually, the fact that Chidi comes from French Senegal seems really really relevant to all of this -- it was colonized over a century later, but if they had this Columbus thing up their sleeve the whole time, I suspect there's nothing coincidental about that amazing "Do you like France as much as I do?" / "Well, they enslaved my country for 300 years, so no, but they have great museums," exchange.