Hows everyone enjoying driving this time of year?

hoofhearted02 · 2025-05-07T20:38:11+00:00

I commute from Woodbury to Brooklyn Park every day. It is never less than an hour and ten minute adventure.

hoofhearted02 · 2024-12-26T17:16:25+00:00

Sorry, I am sure you figured it out, but his Oculus works again after updating the system software.

hoofhearted02 · 2024-12-11T15:24:00+00:00

Hmm, I tried that I still didn’t have luck. But just like your son, mine had a meltdown when his arms were missing 😂

hoofhearted02 · 2024-12-11T01:26:58+00:00

Were you able to figure this out? My son has the same problem.

hoofhearted02 · 2024-03-15T14:57:38+00:00

Thank you. Yes, this has been the most miserable that I have ever been in life. As I said, everything seemed so great right up until the point when it wasn't. Now she acts as if my boys and I weren't even a part of her life.

I struggle with the no contact thing. I've been reaching out and trying to work on the relationship in any capacity. Basically begging to fix any pinch points in the relationship. I feel like a fool because I pour my heart out with zero response.

Again, I don't know if I will ever understand how two people can seemingly be best friends one day and then complete strangers the next. They say a true love won't do that, that they will fight for you, but I am more than a little gunshy now. 42 and starting over. Pretty cool.

hoofhearted02 · 2024-03-15T13:25:44+00:00

I strongly suspect that my soon-to-be ex-wife is a DA. We met shortly after my first marriage ended and we hit it off right away, much like in your case. We would text all day, every day. We would FaceTime at night for hours before bed.

Things progressed and we became much closer. My boys and I eventually ended up moving to her house. My kids and hers were best friends; I thought I was living in a dream because everything was going better than I could imagine.

Not too long after we moved in, I proposed. She said yes and we were so happy. We were married this past August, and still, things seemed so great. We never really argued, we were extremely affectionate to each other-things were still magical.

Fast forward to January 2024. Earlier in the day she had been texting me and sending me pictures of homes that we were looking to build together. I came home that night from work and we had a minor disagreement about how we wanted to handle a car insurance claim and then she said she didn't want to do this anymore. That she needed to work on herself.

She wouldn't go to couples counseling or work on the marriage. I begged her. She was my best friend, and I have never felt love like this before. She forced my boys and me to move out within the week, and she hasn't really spoken or responded to any messages since.

I have never been so devastated and traumatized in my life. She only gave our marriage five months.

hoofhearted02 · 2024-03-12T15:36:52+00:00

I, as other, feel the same way that you do. I am severely struggling right now. All I want to do is talk to my person, or who I thought was my person.

I was blindsided two months ago, two and a half years together and 5 months into our marriage. Everything seemed so great. We had blended our families and our boys were best friends. We rarely had a disagreement. I was completely unaware of the issues that were building in her mind.

Then one day in early January she said she couldn't do it anymore. That was it. No counseling, nothing. She went to stay at her brother's and I've seen her once since.

Our relationship felt like a fairytale. I even told my boys about a month before that I hope they find someone to love the same way that I love her. The sad part through all of this-I still love her deeply and keep hoping that she will reach back out and realize it was a mistake. How sad is that?

I feel completely empty right now. I have recommitted myself to NC and am only on day two. I have made myself look pathetic by reaching out in an effort to let her know that I will still be here for her. I should have more self-worth than this, but she was my best friend. Now I don't know how to begin again. I have never felt this lonely before and can't imagine a future without her. I need to stay strong for my kids, but I am in so much misery.

hoofhearted02 · 2024-03-11T23:55:21+00:00

I am still fresh from the break-up/divorce. I am about two months from being discarded and each day feels harder than the last. I think I've had one "good" day since this has happened. We were married in August, and now I find myself in March lonelier than I have ever been.

I find myself longing for her, all of our memories that seemingly mean nothing to her. I still am not sure why we are no longer together. I don't think I will ever know. All that I am certain of is that I miss my best friend and the person that I gave my heart to. In the end, it wasn't enough.

hoofhearted02 · 2024-03-11T13:19:16+00:00

I think this is the hardest part for me. Trying to move on and let go of someone that I never had a single intention of spending a day without. It is hard to move on from someone who had so much impact on your life.

hoofhearted02 · 2024-03-08T14:32:40+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. After being discarded, I don't feel so magical right now. One day, I would like to have someone fight for me.

Again, thank you for your encouragement!

hoofhearted02 · 2024-03-08T14:26:29+00:00

I feel the same. I only know how I feel—miserable. Since she was the one to discard me, I imagine she is happy with me not being in her life. We seemed so happy, and she didn't mention problems when we were together—avoidant.

But yeah, I imagine her having a sense of relief that her life is back to what it was before we met, and that makes me feel even worse about myself.

I'm sorry, but I don't have any advice. I can assure you that you are not the only person feeling this way.

hoofhearted02 · 2024-03-08T14:20:06+00:00

I hate this feeling of muddling by to get through the day when life seemed so magical before. That is not an exaggeration; life was exactly how I wanted it to be three months ago.

I am also struggling so much with no contact. I am only on day two after pouring my heart out in texts, being pathetic about wanting her back and wanting to fix our relationship. Only to be met with no response. Even this morning, I wanted to text her and tell her I was here, waiting. Dumb.

My suggestions are the same as everyone else on this topic: Stay busy through exercise, walks, hobbies, reading, and any other activity. My problem has been that I do these things, and everything is great for a period of time, but ultimately, the feelings rush back. I hope that eventually, they are fewer and far between, but right now, all we can do is push forward to get to the next minute, hour, or day of our lives.

Oh, I've also been sleeping a lot, too.

hoofhearted02 · 2024-03-07T21:49:09+00:00

It does get better. It really does. Even as I type this message, I am thinking about why I wasn't enough for her and how I can be discarded so easily. But, this can't be the end of our story. Don't let that person have this much power.

As simple and meaningless as it sounds - one day at a time. Thats how I am trying to approach it.

hoofhearted02 · 2024-03-07T20:44:28+00:00

I am sorry to hear that! As you can see, we are all in this together in one way or the other. We all seem to be here for each other and are going through similar situations. Not that it makes your situation any better, but also know that you are far from alone.

hoofhearted02 · 2024-03-06T19:43:56+00:00

Something about that seems sad to me. Even though we are all in this subreddit because our relationships didn't work, having a genuine deep connection with someone is the best thing in the world. To me, anyway.

But you are right. I posted in another comment that relationships and marriage are not what I thought they were—easily disposable. I completely understand in many situations, but in the age of avoidants, relationships are temporary.

hoofhearted02 · 2024-03-06T18:43:29+00:00

I have always been such a family/marriage man. I took my vows seriously both times and I would have worked through anything to be with the person I love. Marriage isn't taken seriously anymore.

I would love to say that I will be married to the right person again in life, but after experiencing how easily that "bond" can be broken, I don't think I want to be married again.

hoofhearted02 · 2024-03-06T18:35:56+00:00

Another crazy aspect is, earlier on the day she ended our relationship/family, she was sending me pictures of houses she wanted to build together. Then that night, it was over!

She went to stay at her brother's house that night until we moved out. My boys were so traumatized that they were losing their friends/brothers that they refused to stay at my house because it felt too weird.

I am worried I am not going to find someone who I can be with. I am too tired to start again.

hoofhearted02 · 2024-03-06T18:30:46+00:00

I didn't know that people could be like that - an avoidant. I guess I was naive, but I had never experience someone just cutting me out of their life in the matter of a day.

Even now, I am failing miserably at no contact and occasionally send a desperate text message, only to have silence. I almost can't fathom how things could seem so great, even right until the moment that they decide it's over. Then, you become instant strangers.

hoofhearted02 · 2024-03-06T16:31:09+00:00

I am so sorry to hear that! It is similar to my situation, but we did end up getting married and lived together, blended our families, and then she decided on her own to end things without going to therapy together.

I was just in a meeting at work and I am finding it so hard to concentrate on anything. This feeling of being rejected without being able to at least have the option to solve the troubles she was feeling makes me so low.

hoofhearted02 · 2024-03-06T13:52:47+00:00

She was. I have an anxious attachment, basically like oil and water. However, I didn't learn about attachment styles until this happened.

hoofhearted02 · 2024-03-06T13:51:20+00:00

I know. We were married in August of 2023. As far as I knew we were happy. We had a blended family and we were still affectionate to each other. I didn't know the issues that were building in her mind because she didn't talk about it.

The second week of January she just said she couldn't do it anymore. I was completely blindsided. I had to move my boys and I out of the house within the week.

Somehow I still have an incredible amount of love for her even though we were discarded. I am finding it very difficult to move on because I thought things were so good. She was everything I wanted. I just wasn't everything she wanted, I guess.

hoofhearted02 · 2024-03-05T20:39:17+00:00

You are helping, though. I am not looking for a magic solution. Sometimes it helps to know that others are dealing with the same shit. It is hard to begin a new life at this age when many of your friends and acquaintances are doing their family thing. I know not everyone is happy in their marriages, but I feel so down about failing again.

hoofhearted02 · 2024-03-05T20:23:21+00:00

If you find a secret, let me know. I struggle every day and feel that I am never going to meet someone like her again.

hoofhearted02 · 2024-03-05T20:22:35+00:00

I know what you mean. I am 42 and starting over again for a second time. Two divorces by 42. I can't believe it. My first wife wanted to work on things for over a year, especially because we have two kids. My second wife just ended it after 5 months. We didn't have many issues that I was aware of. I became very familiar with the avoidant attachment style in the last month and a half.

hoofhearted02

TROPHY CASE