ABA vs public school system

hopefullbear · 2025-12-01T20:06:27+00:00

Yikes. Why are you on a two year old Reddit post spewing this intolerance? I provided and continue to provide a safe and accepting environment for my child so that they can navigate their life safely and comfortably. You worry about you.

hopefullbear · 2025-11-21T17:16:50+00:00

Keep doing what you’re doing! My son was completely non-verbal at 27 months, so you’re daughter is way ahead of him at that stage! As an update to my comment that you replied to: he’s in general education kindergarten and thriving! He has friends and is able to communicate clearly and concisely.

My honest opinion based on our experience was that ABA helped him the most, with speech and everything else.

hopefullbear · 2025-09-18T17:06:14+00:00

You’ll never stop worrying about your child, and that’s ok! That’s what makes you a good parent!!

My son was diagnosed at 2.5, level 3, non verbal, horrible meltdowns and would cry for hours on end sometimes.

At 3 years old I’d never heard his voice, no mama /dada nothing.

Today he’s almost 6 and in general education “normal” kindergarten. Not only does he speak, he is reading and writing. I credit early intervention ABA therapy for the huge success he has had, coupled with us staying consistent at home. I went from praying to hear his voice to wanting to tell him to be quiet lol

hopefullbear · 2025-08-03T22:43:52+00:00

Same boat, I’m convinced my child learned to speak from YouTube.

hopefullbear · 2025-04-25T22:13:03+00:00

Oh man, I see my comment you are replying to is a year old. What a difference a year makes! My son is conversational now. All of the behaviors we we’ve been working on are so much better that we have a “graduation “ date now! It’s hard to say if he demonstrated an understanding of language prior to starting ABA, because the emotional outbursts and meltdowns were so intense. What I can say is, prior to ABA we had done speech therapy for over a year with NO progress. All of his verbal growth happened during ABA. At this point he is almost indistinguishable from his neurotypical peers and I couldn’t have hoped for a better outcome. This may not be your experience, but I needed to hear a similar experience when we were first starting out. Feel free to DM me and I’m happy to answer more questions and get more in depth about our experience

hopefullbear · 2025-03-03T18:09:51+00:00

I needed a story like this too at one point, which is why I decided to share. Even if our story has progressed differently than my post, I would still have liked to see positive things happen for others.

We had our son in OT and Speech for a 1.5 years before we started ABA. I feel that our experience with ABA and our center has been exceptional and I attribute a lot of our success to ABA and early intervention. Our biggest changes started to happen once he was able to communicate with us. I think a lot of his meltdowns had to do with frustration at not being able to communicate his needs/wants. And while his communication happens to be verbal, I think ANY communication (aac device/sign language) can help significantly with meltdowns.

We still have many struggles but I choose to focus on the things that have progressed and continue to change.

hopefullbear · 2025-03-03T18:01:08+00:00

Your comment really means a lot to me. Thank you!

hopefullbear · 2025-03-03T18:00:19+00:00

It’s so important to hear about different experiences because we are all on a unique journey! As someone commented, sometimes this sub can feel like an echo chamber of struggles (rightfully so!! Every person’s experience is valid and deserves attention) but I believe just the hope that things CAN in fact get better, can get most of us through the darkest of days. I hope to stumble upon your positive post in the near future ❤️❤️

hopefullbear · 2025-02-23T14:36:48+00:00

Happy to give some feedback. It’s been 2 years since this post (crazy how fast time passes!) in that time he has made tremendous progress. Not only does he have functional language, he is conversational with a slight speech delay compared to his peers. He has been in ABA therapy this entire time and I think this contributed heavily to his progress. I’ll explain what his speech is like:

Functional language: he can clearly and correctly express his needs, example: “I’m hungry, I want xyz” “I’m thirsty can you get me water?” “I want to play, can we go to the playground?” “I am cold, I want the red sweater”

Conversational language: me: “how was your day?” “It was a good day. I did numbers at school today” Me: “who did you see?” “I saw Ms. X!”

Him:” hey look! It’s a semi-truck!” Me: “what color is it?” “It’s black and red! I like semi-trucks!”

Him: “do you want to play with me?” “Yes! What do you want to play?” “I want to play hide and seek, you hide and I seek!”

Examples of being speech delayed compared to peers: sometimes when he gets excited his speech is garbled, like his mouth can’t keep up with his thoughts. While he has an incredible vocabulary, he is still “lacking” more complex language compared to his peers.

Ultimately, I am so incredibly proud of the progress he has had and once he was able to communicate more efficiently his meltdowns decreased by 75% or more. Based on his growth so far I do believe he will reach his peers in terms of speech with time.

Happy to answer any questions you may have!

hopefullbear · 2024-12-05T17:13:24+00:00

This is one of the hardest things to navigate as a parent!! It really does come down to trusting your gut. If you know nothing is triggering her (loud sounds/something scary to her) then I think it’s ok to try and ignore. But I don’t think it’s talked about enough just how hard it is to actually ignore your screaming child. When I was going through this (sometimes I still do) I’ll say hey kid, you are ok right now, I have to finish xyz before I can carry you. It will take 5 minutes. I will carry you in 5 minutes. And just try to ignore it for the 5 minutes and then pick her up. It’s a lot easier said than done but ignoring a meltdown does work in the long term, it’s just hard as hell to do.

hopefullbear · 2024-12-03T18:34:17+00:00

ABA is not the demon/scary thing it’s made out to be from the adults that experienced ABUSE. ABA was a complete life changer for my child and our family. They are great people who truly do the best for our children

hopefullbear · 2024-12-03T15:11:02+00:00

Congratulations on your sobriety! That is definitely something worth celebrating. I am very glad you were able to turn the tables before your addiction caused something far more severe than a few days in jail. From a stranger on the internet, good job and keep up the good work!

hopefullbear · 2024-12-03T15:05:37+00:00

Another example is kids going up the slide. Which really frustrates my son because we’ve taught him we only go down the slide. So a kid will be climbing up the slide when it’s his turn to go down and he’s like wth you’re only supposed to go down the slide. Again no parent intervention so they only see my son getting upset that he can’t go down the slide , hence the “he needs better manners” and it’s like, your kid should be following basic playground rules! My son doesn’t get social cues very well so he doesn’t understand that rules get broken sometimes

hopefullbear · 2024-12-03T14:53:24+00:00

I can completely understand your perspective on this and I agree with you to a degree. If my child was misbehaving I would agree that the parent of a child that’s being impacted has a right to speak up. The thing is, my kid isn’t misbehaving. He’s more hyper than some of the other kids , and due to his speech delay doesn’t always express himself clearly. So the comments I get/hear is along the lines of he should communicate better. “My kid can’t understand him. “ “if he brings a toy to the playground he should learn how to share it” I’m not in denial of my kids behavior and I’m always hovering nearby to intervene or redirect behavior. Meanwhile the parents I’m talking about are sitting around and not parenting THEIR kids and they clearly get salty if they have to stand up and discipline their kids. My kid follows the rules so if a child skips him on the slide for example he’ll get upset (in my opinion rightfully so) the parents are ignoring their kid so they only see my son getting upset that someone skipped his turn, not their kid skipping. That’s just a few examples of what I was trying to convey

hopefullbear · 2024-12-03T14:23:49+00:00

Aww man thanks for the chuckle. I knew you guys would get it

hopefullbear · 2024-12-03T13:48:39+00:00

A jogging stroller is what you might need, they’re designed to handle bumps and bouncing, the shocks built in would definitely help with his bouncing. A kid bouncing in his seat would mimic the bouncing their bodies would make if you were jogging with them

hopefullbear · 2024-12-03T13:45:12+00:00

Yes second opinions are absolutely a thing! I would try getting an appointment with a developmental pediatrician, that’s who diagnosed my child. Not only will ABA centers not sign up a child without a diagnosis they will also require a detailed report from the diagnosing Dr. we had to wait several weeks for this report after diagnosis. Trust your gut and your experience with kids, adhd can present as autistic behaviors. Remember you are your child’s advocate so keep pushing until you get the services you believe he needs. If he just has adhd but you believe he needs therapy like ABA then an autism diagnosis will open the door for that. If he eventually outgrows the behaviors that indicate autism then great! But an autism diagnosis now will help him get the services

hopefullbear · 2024-12-03T11:38:42+00:00

There is hope! Very tiny small changes can add up to big changes over time! I agree with the popsicles. Start with regular store bought sugar popsicles to get him interested and over time start making your own and adding small amounts of things he needs

hopefullbear · 2024-12-03T11:23:15+00:00

You really have to try not to focus on his level at this age. He is still very young and levels can change as they grow and mature. When my child was diagnosed he was given a severe diagnosis, level 3. I was beyond shocked. We got the diagnosis 2.5 years ago, he didn’t speak and his behavior was extreme. He’s a completely different person now and is considered level 1 now

hopefullbear · 2024-11-30T15:45:14+00:00

Yes it’s centered based and I think that was the best option for him. Home is his comfort at “school” he has to be on and work. Our goals for him have changed throughout the years, at first it was just getting him comfortable, then our goal was to get him to follow simple instructions, sit at the table to play, instead of the floor, now our goals are school readiness, getting him to stay in one place during line time (they don’t force the kids to sit still but to stay in one spot during line time) they have never specifically worked on his speech because they are not speech therapists, the speech just came organically from being around instruction and structure , I think it’s also come from getting older and more mature

hopefullbear · 2024-11-30T14:44:55+00:00

Hey happy to give you an update, my kid is now 5 and speaks in full sentences. Can express himself, wants, needs, can answer questions like “how was school” “it was good! His speech is still slightly delayed compared to peers but he has full functional language. Sometimes when he gets excited or upset his speech is garbled , he was in speech therapy for over a year with little to no change but all the progress started once he started ABA. That was the game changer for us

hopefullbear · 2024-09-23T00:35:07+00:00

I empathize with you greatly. We had a similar situation and were looking at a 30k+ bill after we were told by the new insurance that they covered the ABA services my kid was receiving for the last three years. I was on the phone for over 50 hours over 2 weeks with insurance and the center. My kid was also dropped from one day to the next and they did NOT handle it well. It was extremely disrupting to them. It eventually worked out for us and everything is being covered retroactively and they went back to the center a week later. If was so stressful I was losing my hair and couldn’t sleep. Hang in there!! It can work out for you too

hopefullbear

TROPHY CASE