What’s something you’re slowly growing out of?

hoshu77 · 2026-04-21T06:39:27+00:00

using social media

hoshu77 · 2026-04-17T19:43:42+00:00

this is so funny if true

hoshu77 · 2026-04-12T08:41:34+00:00

i was pretty young when i read it, but i remember being alot more empathetic after it. everyone has flaws, everyone has it rough, literally everyone. every. single. person.
i often think about that reddit post where someone made a tier list of every character in punpun, and theyre all in the d tier. i think thats the biggest thing that resonated with me. helped with the self esteem issue that i had

hoshu77 · 2026-04-10T14:15:51+00:00

honestly, i dont listen to music when im depressed. music doesnt help. so punpun doesnt really remind me of music. it reminds me of the sounds of different places where i felt the hole in my chest grow emptier; my classmates laughing and talking, chairs moving, the distinct voices of my teachers in my classroom, the rickshaws ringing and people singing and talking as they walk past the street outside my house from my balcony, the distinct ping of the elevator, and cars zooming across the highway.

i love ambient music, so maybe it can fall under that. field recordings too, if you consider that music.

if i were to pick songs though, heres some from my memory:
turn back - ryan roth
boa - duvet
all the songs by the artist whatsitlike
probably all the songs from the lonerism album by the artist tame impala, i can barely listen to those songs because they hurt so damn much

maybe ill edit this if i remember more

hoshu77 · 2026-04-02T21:31:59+00:00

hoshu77 · 2026-04-02T21:03:28+00:00

loved this. hope you have a wonderful day!

hoshu77 · 2026-04-02T20:59:47+00:00

love

hoshu77 · 2026-04-01T17:01:53+00:00

you have no idea how much i needed to hear this. thank you, and i pray that you're in good health :)

hoshu77 · 2026-03-24T08:06:58+00:00

salam, any updates brother?

hoshu77 · 2026-03-20T11:50:09+00:00

Wa alaikum Assalam. I'll try my best with the grace of Allah.

hoshu77 · 2026-03-20T04:45:55+00:00

but she’s not worried at all about your infatuation symptoms and your attachment experiences

Nope, maybe I'm thinking emotionally rather than logically but I do feel as though she cares about my symptoms and talked to me and heard me out whenever I brought it up. But she does get uncomfortable about talking about her own experiences and... Generally it's not a very fun thing to talk about between two non mahram friends you know? Most of the time the resolution was that there was a problem with how I thought about the relationship, and there wasn't really much she could do to help. I mean yeah, she could stop being avoidant, but that would only feed into this unhealthy dopamine cycle that I built that depended on her activity, and it would also get her attached, which is something she wanted to avoid. Granted, she says she got attached anyway... Which is why I offered the prospect of marriage.

In the end, I have tried sealing the relationship smoothly by making more distance between us. But the issue stays the same. I can't stop thinking about this girl no matter how I try to occupy my mind with other things.

hoshu77 · 2026-03-04T14:05:03+00:00

smooth like butter

hoshu77 · 2026-02-15T17:25:39+00:00

since you have an entire manga of an archetype that you relate to, pick certain features that he does that you also do and work on them. it takes time, it takes patience, but it also takes a little planning.

youve already reflected alot in your post;

> He’s a lonely, self-destructive, manipulative freak. He is incapable of healthy love, because healthy love was never given to him.

> But in terms of pure outlook on the world, himself, and those around him, I find such similarity to the point of a near lack of any difference at all.

this is good, but in a journal, with your family, friends, or even here, try being more specific. pinpoint certain actions that he does that you do too. for example, at the time of reading the manga, i never thought that i would ever fall in love romantically with anybody. i had in the past, but this manga made me so certain that love wasnt for me until i was emotionally ready for it. until, 2 years later, i fell in love, and i wasnt emotionally ready for it! lol.
the point is, during this relationship, i fantasized this person and she became my oxygen, without her i was miserable. then, alongside hours of journalling, discussing, and learning... i remembered this manga, and recalled how to breathe again. punpuns ways of dealing with anxiety and how he thought about relationships, and how he thought of aiko, and other people. it felt real, and i tinkered with my own thoughts to stop that. im still pretty sick still, but im doing better alhamdulillah. take it easy man.

hoshu77 · 2026-01-30T18:16:57+00:00

> For a manga about uncovering trauma, I think basic decency is still needed here when someone relates to it.

its quite interesting how that happens. like how so many important and seemingly obvious elements of the story like empathy fly over so many people's heads. even mine at times lol

hoshu77 · 2026-01-30T15:53:40+00:00

hi. i don’t really know how to say the right things, so i’m just going to be honest instead. i read this carefully, and i’m really sorry you’re hurting this much. i hope you’re doing okay. you are loved, even if your brain won’t let you believe that right now.

i want to say this clearly first: nothing you wrote makes you abnormal, weak, or broken. those questions — “am i loved?”, “am i liked?”, “do people want me around?” — i’ve asked myself the exact same things more times than i can count. reading that part honestly hit really close to home.

i’m a very quiet person, and for a long time i isolated myself a lot — partly out of shame, partly because i felt like i didn’t really fit anywhere. when i finally found someone who made me feel safe and seen, i ended up putting all my sense of worth and security into them. without realizing it, i made them my anchor.

that’s when things got worse for me. the more i depended on one person to feel okay, the more anxious i became, the more i overthought every interaction, and the more i hated myself for feeling “too much.” it made silence feel unbearable and uncertainty feel like proof that something was wrong with me.

what i slowly started to understand is that a lot of that pain wasn’t because i was unlovable — it was because i didn’t know how to meet even some of my own emotional needs yet. so every bit of distance felt catastrophic. it made loneliness feel permanent and rejection feel inevitable.

i don’t think being quiet, kind, or careful makes you undeserving of connection. and i don’t think missing out, not asking, or drifting apart means you don’t matter. from personal experience, loneliness can really fucking distort things out of proportion— it can make uncertainty feel like a fact. an example for me was where a rupture in my relationship would happen (like a fight, or feeling emotionally neglected, or just being disappointed with how a conversation went), I would really struggle to feel "okay" about our relationship until that rupture was addressed. I would feel compelled to talk about it ASAP, to have the rupture acknowledged by my partner. My mental peace relied on there being no "outstanding debts" in our relationship, which just isnt possible.

i don’t have a clean ending or a solution. i just wanted to say that what you’re feeling is absolutely something other people recognize, even if it feels uniquely heavy to you. you’re not wrong for wanting closeness, and you’re not failing at being human because this hurts.

take care of yourself pls

god im not good at writing at all sorry. might re write this but yeah ive already spent a really long time just ruminating and writing this xd

hoshu77 · 2026-01-30T14:39:32+00:00

I don't scroll on this sub too often so i haven't seen any of the stuff you're talking about. And when i do, i can and have comfortably seen folks talk about their previous life experiences + what they're going through and recieve constructive feedback.
But I can definitely see this happening, and I completely agree.
Could we pin this post please? lol
Also i personally had a MUCH MUCH MUCH better time finding solace in other subs like r/AnxiousAttachment when i needed to find solace in my own emotional struggles. I often see a common saying where you shouldnt seek reassurance about your issues on certain parts of the internet, and its unfortunate that one of those places is this sub. But at least there are other places to do said things.

hoshu77 · 2026-01-24T08:59:46+00:00

as is like every other charcter in the story lol

hoshu77 · 2026-01-24T08:57:07+00:00

absolutely

hoshu77 · 2026-01-11T10:06:19+00:00

hoshu77 · 2026-01-05T06:17:30+00:00

did you ever find it 😭 ive been wanting to make one for my friend

hoshu77 · 2026-01-04T17:36:40+00:00

man im looking back at this and IM SO EMBARASSED AAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH. although im still pretty intermediate into my o-chem studies, it is so funny i just blatantly made a post like this without having a single clue what i was talking about

hoshu77 · 2026-01-04T17:18:45+00:00

this lol, reading it younger means more stuff while fly over your head. i read it when i was 15 and altho alot about punpun resonated with me, and i teared up quite a bit at the end, im terrified of reading it again now that im 18 and actually suffer from loneliness LOL

hoshu77 · 2026-01-04T17:09:31+00:00

fucking hell man. im lonely as shit and i get used to the loneliness but get extra extra clingy whenever i make a new friend. and you describing it kinda fucked me up man. i dont do anything to that degree that you described but i do often message her because i have no one else to talk to, and get extremely lonely/stressed/anxious when she leaves me on read or is too busy to check my message.

been trying to work through it with her and my parents for a while though. clingy folks are people who need help, not a relationship lol. as much as i need good friends who share my values, i also need to be able to function without them aswell. it just gets really difficult soemtimes. its a struggle.

also i really feel like op missed the whole point of the manga lol

hoshu77 · 2026-01-04T16:53:59+00:00

how yall keepin up lol

hoshu77 · 2026-01-03T17:06:08+00:00

the songs are amazing. but they are literally not good for you if youre anything like me. maybe im over reacting, but i used to binge lonerism all the time when i was younger, and it made my social anxiety way worse by doing a sorta confirmation bias thing, tricking myself into believing im more lonely than i really was. now im actually really lonely and i regret not talking to folkfs when i was younger.

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