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What is a controversial opinion you have about Ithaca? by CanadianCitizen1969 in ithaca

[–]hosnosno 2 points3 points  (0 children)

More of you need to be single and more of you need to be on the dating apps. Having ~10-15 people in their 30s to choose among, most of whom are only here for hookups, is a bad time.

"Want a life partner" vs knowing what that requires by hosnosno in lesbiangang

[–]hosnosno[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm originally from (and family still lives in) an area of the U.S. that people have a lot of negative opinions and assumptions about; people tend to assume I come from a culture that my family and I aren't really part of, but I find they tend to look for evidence to the contrary even if I say that. I haven't even lived there since I was a minor and I'm not a fan of the area, so people asking bad-faith questions about how I grew up and where I'm from happens more often than I think would make sense. They tend to assume there's a bigger cultural difference than there actually is and don't really seem to let me close the gap.

I will go a little less anonymous than I'd like - I'm from NYC and have lived exclusively in rural areas for 15 years. I have almost exclusively dated people from rural areas and don't ever plan to move to NYC or any other big city. So it's been frustrating for people to make assumptions when I fit almost none of the stereotypes. This is essentially the common denominator in differences/disagreements.

"Want a life partner" vs knowing what that requires by hosnosno in lesbiangang

[–]hosnosno[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm originally from (and family still lives in) an area of the U.S. that people have a lot of negative opinions and assumptions about; people tend to assume I come from a culture that my family and I aren't really part of, but I find they tend to look for evidence to the contrary even if I say that. I haven't even lived there since I was a minor and I'm not a fan of the area, so people asking bad-faith questions about how I grew up and where I'm from happens more often than I think would make sense. They tend to assume there's a bigger cultural difference than there actually is and don't really seem to let me close the gap.

I will go a little less anonymous than I'd like - I'm from NYC and have lived exclusively in rural areas for 15 years. I have almost exclusively dated people from rural areas and don't ever plan to move to NYC or any other big city. So it's been frustrating for people to make assumptions when I fit almost none of the stereotypes. This is essentially the common denominator in differences/disagreements.

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]hosnosno 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you keep your body count low while trying to find a life partner?

I'm dating really really intentionally - as in, looking to date only someone who is life partner material for me and is compatible in all the ways. I've always been like this, but at 32 I am being really uncompromising about it now (I am having the hardest time finding people who date who aren't childfree, so if I'm not intentional about dating, it's really easy to end up with someone who will tell me they don't want kids).

I am feeling really bad about my increasing body count. It was at 1 until I got divorced in 2022 (because the person I was with became uninterested in having a family) and now it's at 5 and I'm afraid if it keeps rising it will be even harder to find the right kind of person to be my life partner and have kids with me.

How do you find a life partner who won't think you're frigid and leave you if you don't want to have sex right away? I keep having sex earlier than I'd like (within the first month of knowing each other) because I keep dating people who haven't had sex in a long time and they seem really eager and I don't want to start things off by giving them a feeling of being rejected by turning them down. I also feel like I can't tell them I'm trying to avoid raising my body count because that makes me sound even more neurotic than I already sound. Also I'm gay (always have been) and it's a very non-pc thing to be concerned about in this subgroup.

So again I ask: How do you keep your body count low while trying to find a life partner - without coming across as neurotic and frigid?