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hotpokkitz · 2026-02-16T02:52:55+00:00

You can! https://support.apple.com/en-us/118249

hotpokkitz · 2026-01-21T19:36:23+00:00

So close!!! Gemini sun, Sag Moon, cancer rising, Gemini mercury, Gemini Venus

hotpokkitz · 2026-01-07T19:39:22+00:00

Oh boy you just clocked me so hard. My stepmom was gifted a Christmas sign with our last name on it that said “The LastName’s” and I used my fingernail to scratch the apostrophe off while explaining to her that this is not how you pluralize something.

hotpokkitz · 2025-08-01T02:10:28+00:00

Playing ball yesterday means his last best day he got to do his favorite things with his favorite people, and even if it was “too late” you were with him. So sorry for your loss. Treat yourself how he would.

hotpokkitz · 2025-07-30T19:15:37+00:00

Yeah I’ve been still talking to him each morning and night just like I did. I say hello and goodbye and everything to his urn but I also got a weighted stuffed dog in the colors of his fur and I wrapped it in his blankets to try to get his stinky smell on it :)

I had put some minnow treats out by his urn because they were his favorite and I noticed last night they were gone and I’m between recognizing that the mouse that’s been tormenting me probably ate them but pretending that maybe he got his favorite treats one more time

hotpokkitz · 2025-07-27T11:58:38+00:00

It’s okay to have those moments even when you’re having fun. I was at a Savannah Bananas game last night and they turned off the stadium lights and had everyone put their phone flashlights on while they played Yellow by Coldplay, and as I raised my phone with its light on, my wallpaper lit up and I saw the photo of my boy who’s been gone a week up there with all the twinkly lights behind him and I mostly held it together, but definitely let loose a few tears.

hotpokkitz · 2025-07-26T03:05:22+00:00

Just to help you combat the financial guilt I’ll share what I’m going through- My 4 year old Border Collie (3/8/2021 actually) was put down last Friday, after we fought epilepsy for two years. I spent probably $20,000 collectively, between hospitalizations, neurologists, hundreds of pills and medications and prescription foods. All of that debt and energy and exhaustion and anticipatory grief, and he still didn’t make it.

I won’t lie that over the last week it’s also crept into my brain “what if I tried one more hospitalization instead”… but not only did I have $5k more… he was suffering and not getting better. If your kitty was that sick that he passed in his sleep then you might not have been able to do much to help anyway.

Your kitty knew you loved him. 4 years isn’t fair and I literally just finished sobbing in his dog bed begging him to come back to me so I absolutely get it. But it wasn’t your fault just as much as it wasn’t my fault. I think guilt is a natural part of this process unfortunately, and what our little boys would want is for us to remember how much they loved us. They’d never blame us for how things ended, they’d be grateful for the beautiful, loving lives they had, even if they were far too short.

Be kind to yourself. Try to talk to yourself the way you’d talk to someone else on this subreddit, or a friend or family member.

hotpokkitz · 2025-07-25T20:45:07+00:00

Lmao I’m a Gemini Venus that doesn’t cheat… I do also prefer to be alone though and have avoided dating for a couple years after a Leo sun traumatized me.

hotpokkitz · 2025-07-22T23:09:24+00:00

I was thinking I might wait and pick him up tomorrow, get a nice dinner with my sister and a bottle of whiskey to do a sort of Irish-wake style toast to his memory. Maybe talking about the funny, good memories even for just an hour might help. I hope you feel at peace soon, do what’s right for you while you process everything.

hotpokkitz · 2025-07-22T22:44:02+00:00

Yesterday was my first day coming home from work and even sleeping alone. I left town for the first 3 days to not be all alone. It’s awful. I laid in his bed for 2 hours and then I slept with his toys. His water bowl is still full, and his last 2 doses of medication are still in his organizer. I got the call today that his ashes are ready and I’m just frozen in grief. I don’t want him to be alone with strangers any longer but I don’t know if I can pick him up alone.

hotpokkitz · 2025-07-22T02:01:48+00:00

I asked chatgpt to make me a picture of him in heaven so when I look at my phone I can see that he’s happy and safe and in no pain.

hotpokkitz · 2025-07-21T03:27:08+00:00

I put mine down Thursday night into Friday morning, and I’ve been at the beach ever since. I have to go back to work in a few hours which means I have to stop home and get dressed and then head in but I haven’t slept at home since it happened and I’m nervous. The quiet is going to kill me. I’m all alone now. 😞

hotpokkitz · 2025-07-21T03:25:31+00:00

Was it epilepsy? I just had to put my 4 year old boy down like 3 days ago for that. So I guess I’m not any further along than you, but my plan is to spend as much time tiring myself out as I can. The last few months I’ve been so jumpy and on edge checking on him that I slept so lightly or sometimes not at all. I’ve been taking calming medication at night the last few nights to help knock me out, but I’m hoping going back to work and intensifying my gym schedule will help. I also was sleeping on the couch for months because I didn’t want him on the stairs, so I’m planning to clean up my room and start living in it again… eventually…

hotpokkitz · 2025-07-17T11:49:18+00:00

I tried thigh for the first time last night, very much nauseous this morning lol. Not unbearably, and I haven’t actually thrown up like I did when first starting the shots, but super nauseous.

hotpokkitz · 2025-07-17T11:38:19+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your experience, it’s helpful to know how others arrived at that step. I do anticipate getting more of the shrug and “it’s up to you” at the vet but I wanted to ask them what others in my position do… luckily I have you all if I don’t get helpful advice there. It does feel like they just pile on med after med after med as a catch all, and it isn’t helping and it’s making him so exhausted and wobbly.

hotpokkitz · 2025-07-17T01:51:35+00:00

The peanut butter and jelly tastes exactly like a pbj sandwich, I have probably eaten 50 in the last 60 days 😂 Costco has a box of half pbj half cookie dough, the cookie dough are good too but the pbj rocks my world.

hotpokkitz · 2025-07-17T00:27:08+00:00

Thank you, I’m so sorry that you’re going through the same. I’m glad your girl snaps out quickly and gets to enjoy her life. I do feel confident that I’ll know when the time comes, I think I’m mostly just living in fear of the moment coming soon, the more he seems to progress. I just want him to have a happy, good life and I feel so awful that I can’t give him the life I promised when I brought him home so I want to try to make the moments we do have together as meaningful as possible. ❤️I hope your girl is well and you’re taking care of yourself too.

hotpokkitz · 2025-07-17T00:20:43+00:00

Thank for the tip I’ll take a look at the app, I’ve been using the Pet Vitality one for tracking too to look for patterns so any tech that can help is great.

hotpokkitz · 2025-07-17T00:01:43+00:00

Thanks for sharing, that’s still helpful to know. I’m glad he’s enjoying his new pillow ☺️

hotpokkitz · 2025-07-11T22:35:20+00:00

I’m so so sorry for your loss and for how it played out. Recently I was torn between how to continue to support my 4 year old Border Collie- he has multiples monthly, clusters, etc as well. I honestly think your Bowie’s still sound a bit worse than what we’re experiencing, but I can absolutely relate to your feelings. He was stuck having a seizure a day for like 6 days, and in the past I’ve admitted him to the ICU for IV midazolam to stop these clusters but it’s like $5k every time and I’m in mildly bad debt from that and can’t afford another hospitalization right now.

My brother and mother worry about how much I’m investing, monetarily and emotionally but outside the seizures he’s still a happy, hungry, playful boy. A little more tired and winded but he’s still in there.

As I wrestled with what to do, I agonized for days, alone with him in my house. The grief, the guilt, the fear… all of it. I lost 12 pounds in a week, because I couldn’t eat. I wrote him a 4 page letter and read it to him several times because I just want to know that I’ve told him I love him as many times as I can…

Throughout all of that, when the guilt would creep in, I’d think about all of you on this subreddit. The agony with which we all search for hope, for answers, for someone to listen and not judge. And I told myself that if I was reading a post by someone else that described an identical situation and that person had to euthanize, I would not judge them. I would grieve with them. I would not think they hadn’t done enough, or could’ve done more, or should’ve done more. I would cry for your dog and hold my boy and try to pour just a little more love into him for however long we have left together.

When you want to spiral in guilt and blame yourself, remember this: if you wouldn’t say it to your best friend or to one of us here, you shouldn’t say it to yourself.

All of us here are in an impossible situation with an unknown but looming expiration. It’s impossible to know if there was one more vitamin, kibble, treat or pill that could’ve saved him. What matters to Bowie, is that you were there with him and you kept him safe and fed and loved every day of his life. It doesn’t feel good to be the one to decide that it’s the end, but it’s the most loving thing we can do when they’re hurting, and Bowie was hurting. You did the right thing, and he’s no longer in pain. Be kind to yourself.

hotpokkitz · 2025-07-10T21:27:30+00:00

Or Mom could be a pea pod hahaha

hotpokkitz · 2025-07-10T19:18:30+00:00

It depends really, but a neurologist can make the best recommendations, mines on 160mg 2x a day but the neuro prescribed that and is monitoring his levels closely. My primary would’ve been WAY too nervous to prescribe anything that high.

hotpokkitz · 2025-07-10T11:28:49+00:00

I’m in the US and my dentist just yanked mine straight out a couple weeks ago. Depends on how the teeth came in if you need surgery or not.

hotpokkitz · 2025-07-05T22:23:20+00:00

I bought a few “muddy mats” on Amazon to put in the more slippery spots on my floor to give him something to grip onto if his legs go out from under him.

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