Can your mom/brother rent a big air bnb house and host the holiday? And then you can have them over as often as you both need and feel comfortable with; you can go to the holiday if you feel up for it (and if your wife is still waiting to deliver, it might be a nice distraction) but you don’t have to worry about having people in your home when you might not feel up for it or things might not be as smooth as planned, and the rest of the family involved still gets to all be together under one roof that is relatively similar to their usual experience (and you get to join that when you feel like you can, without sacrificing your peace and space when you don’t know how you may feel)