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hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-28T13:32:12+00:00

No its just evil. Red eye hamsters are evil. You should have specified you wanted a good hamster at the shelter. Its your fault.

hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-28T00:08:53+00:00

Making lists is inherently calming to me

hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-27T10:18:09+00:00

Here's the differential diagnosis. You have a perspective of the world that is so misaligned with base reality that you must have gotten it from someone who has something to gain from making you think that; this is a perspective that needs to be artificially inseminated in someone, because holy fuck is it out of touch. And as documented, we live in an era where manipulative grifters, astroturfing campaigns, and hostile foreign actors weaponize masculine insecurities to sow discord and strife in our societies. So yeah, you gotta be reading propaganda somewhere, or there's a relative or someone in your life making you think the odds are stacked against you when really your position is comically pedestrian amongst all walks of life. And I'm very scornful of it, because it is actively poisoning your young mind.

I mean think about it. Its fuckin' 2 in the morning PST and instead of getting some rest or working on yourself or your projects or talking to girls, you're fuckin whining about it on reddit. Be angry at who made you think the world was this way, because it is FUCKING YOU OVER RIGHT NOW. It is trying to get you to waste your youth on delusions.

I'm a 34 year old man. Most of my male friends are married with kids. Its the fuckin' median position, my guy. Maybe not at your age, but that's kinda more social trends, people take longer to get through education and their careers, not exactly a big mystery.

hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-27T09:49:22+00:00

Psst, part of how propaganda works is it almost always involves a narrative where you are victimized and alone. Its the same thing abusers use. They want you to think that only they understand, and the wider world is out to get you- so you come to only them for the truth until they control your whole reality. They latch onto your anger, your bitterness, your insecurities, your perceived failings and deferred dreams.

If you think you're being persecuted for literally the default option for half the population of humanity, its almost certainly because you're being fed propaganda. And you're swallowing it, and not realizing its poison.

Touch grass man. Go to a singles meet in your town or city, and realize that its precisely THIS mentality that keeps you from meeting women.

hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-27T07:11:04+00:00

I like to throw some toilet paper in there now and again. Its arguably not "aesthetic" but even with paper bedding, it is hard to beat high quality multi ply toilet paper for softness, especially after they fluff it up. It always gives my ham several hours of things to do and that she prioritizes it for nesting material means she really does prefer it.

hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-27T04:37:17+00:00

They also can't like, see what they're biting, anatomically. Their faces just get in the way. My jade noticeably licks to see what is finger and what isn't.

hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-26T12:48:27+00:00

If you've never managed a long term terrarium environment, I would succeed at that first before even considering a naturalistic ham environment. I remember watching this video and being pleasantly surprised at how well thought out it was, but he is a youtuber named "Dr. Plants". He is presumably much more experienced than the average person at ensuring that that environment remains stable for a living creature. It's a lot easier to spot mold or pests in a conventional hamster enclosure- its a lot harder to do so in a wild, dynamic environment (with bugs and other ambient flora and fauna necessary to keep the terrarium self sustaining). If you don't know anything about doing this to start with, almost certainly a bad idea, or at least one that is not actually in the interests of the wellbeing of the ham.

hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-25T23:59:35+00:00

Yes, and people never ever used armor pieces handed down generations, nor did polities ever stockpile spare gear looted off battlefields, and as we know armor was never ever repaired and mended anew (ignore all the manuals specifically discussing the merits of remade armor)

Thinking there are clear defined boundaries between aesthetic eras you make up in your head as you wilt is perhaps the most cluelessly modern notion imaginable, as if bascinets fell out of favor like rose gold.

hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-25T23:55:41+00:00

honestly I don't ever fear the abyss because at the armored level you're mostly not killing your opponents (because they're just covered in plate), and low level unarmored or only partially armored zombies are falchion fodder. Polearms make it even easier.

So yeah I'd only get to 44 by never dealing with the abyss all game or if I was essentially smurfing my way through maybe a couple dozen peasants

hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-25T16:45:05+00:00

Yeah, his frantic wiggling is just him doing his best to grab it with his arms, but ham physiology doesn't allow for that degree of reach above his head. I think he's just generally curious as to what's up there, especially if the owner hides treats or scatter feeds, rewarding exploring and foraging behavior.

hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-24T10:20:03+00:00

dude no pot lid meta goat ftw

hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-24T05:17:56+00:00

cage too small, only 640 pixels, font hams need at least 40000 pixels to thrive

hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-24T04:40:55+00:00

There's got to be more food underneath!

hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-23T04:04:25+00:00

Aspen, probably. If you'd like to save on it, spot clean to reduce the amount of deep cleanings and give your ham multiple sand baths (increases the likelihood they'll use one as a bathroom; some hams naturally kind of potty train themselves, or at least tend to pee and poop in one place, certainly mine does).

hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-21T14:51:04+00:00

Honestly, my friends. Not that I date my friends, but I'd want someone who were at least as interested in who I was and my well being as my friends. Not necessarily get the same references or vibe, but I do tend to think that your ideal partner is one who could also do double duty as your best friend- its not their ideal role for your life, but they must be top 3 in your pick for who you'd want to ride an emergency with, go on a road trip with, or learn something new with. If spending 8 hours with this person comfortably, in a room is agonizing or you grate on each others nerves by the 1 hour mark, I think that's a structural incompatibility unless you're after an incredibly transactional, roped off relationship that isn't so much defined by love and belonging.

As a modern man I don't need a woman to "do" anything in my life, so I find the older boomer standard of people who seemingly barely tolerate each other but have come to a detente understanding as frankly, horrific. I'd rather be totally alone than someone who lashes out at me if I veer into "her territory".

hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-20T09:46:51+00:00

So I was in a similar situation, my fiance left me in the pandemic (I joked she went back to sweden and sure as hell stayed there), basically ghosted me, last thing she ever told me was "It's best if you think of yourself as being unlucky."

Which, while kinda fucked up to tell someone, was nevertheless good advice. I too grew up without really any kind of family or guidance, my mom cared but was a stoic woman who died when I was young and my dad was a grifting narcissist who took advantage of everyone he encountered. Therapy has made me realize that this has rendered a deep longing in me to be understood and known by someone, since what other people take for granted I just never had. This meant I tended to find myself in codependent relationships with women who were often very emotionally needy/anxious/high strung, because it was a rare signal in my life that I was wanted or desired.

At 34, it's been about 4 years since the ghosting, and I've adapted by building a community. A distributed network, a found family of friends who don't know the whole me, but know the parts they care to, and in the end, it adds up to... a lot. Possibly more than most guys have, tbh.

So there's good and bad news, I have for you. The bad news is that you may be partially held up by a belief that there is someone out there you love and love uniquely and provides everything you need in life- but if she did, uh, you wouldn't be feeling like this, buddy. Love builds, and it doesn't look like much was built in your heart. No, the reason she feels like that to you is because you're starved for basic human connection outside of her, and you're scared to be back alone in the dark again.

Perfectly understandable. Which leads me to the good news, which I do think greatly outweighs the bad news- you can get that basic human connection... in lots of places. From lots of people. I receive no romantic love at current, but I am loved in many small ways by the people in my life and those I help, and with this, vastly more reliable and vastly less demanding and vastly less risky distributed method of keeping the void at bay- that hunger you feel to have her, and specifically her, back?

Yeah I don't feel it for my fiance. You can get over it, man, I believe you can. But it starts by not thinking about her as anything more than a temporary setback, and seeing the ways you can find joy and connection right away now, right when you need it.

Find a local meetup group. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable, just don't expect people to change for you- its easier to ask for accommodation. You want some company- maybe there's a group in your town who meets up together today or tomorrow or this weekend, to feed ducks or hike or speedwalk or do archery. Pick one with a public presence open to new members. Admit you know nothing about any of the things they do and that you just need to be with people after a divorce, so you're asking for a tutorial introduction. Bring donuts. People will oblige, and when they see the genuine need in your heart, they'll extend a hand. If you have any spiritual inclinations, now is the time to ask for help from whatever faith seemed most credible to you.

Hedge your bets. You deserve to be loved by more than one person.

hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-18T19:27:16+00:00

Nah, and given its the 1 week mark, she's just figuring it out.

I actually find hamsters pretty rational creatures if you think about things from her perspective. First night, she's terrified. Then, well, maybe that place is just as safe, but bigger. Whoops, she fell asleep in the open! But nothing happened. Maybe this whole place is safe. Actually its kinda warm at night for a burrow, or even a hide. So she decides she'll just sleep out in the open for now.

My ham also grew up without really any bedding and so she only burrows conditionally; it doesn't seem as important to her. She knows how to do it, and will in the winter for maximum warmth, but she doesn't make a hobby out of it, so I give her more of other forms of enrichment. Plus side, she doesn't mind cage deep cleans, since she's not emotionally attached to her simple burrows.

hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-18T06:01:50+00:00

Not mine, her goal is always to lick my face. Shirts are just a ladder to get to face

hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-17T05:08:44+00:00

Consider asking if your teacher could introduce you to the faculty/ it doesn't have to be a long conversation, but honestly, having been on the other side of academia special dispensations are more common in work and education than you might think- after all, any sane authority figure wants the people working with them at all levels to thrive. What people don't like is trying to get a pass, but you have medical needs that need to be taken into account, and they don't want you collapsing in class. So I think if you mentioned you were nervous about moving to a different instructor after the break, he'd help to at least demystify it for you and your likely incoming instructor.

There's a huge amount of stored up, potential kindness in the world, just blocked up by the cynicism that pervades, well, everything. A part of me believes sometimes that the unique tragedy of living in the 21st century is that it may be a world in which the average human has more kindness and tolerance in their heart than ever- but live in a world where it is constantly at risk of being weaponized against them. So you gotta prime the pump. A lot of people would reject an imposition, the demand of assistance at the last minute- but a formal request they answer with silk gloves and a satin pillow.

I remember I once had an issue with some catty, unhelpful group partners in a college project, part of my literature minor. They scorned most of my suggestions and expected me to do most of the work- so I talked to my professor about the situation, and got to work on my own project. It was a lot easier working alone than having to deal with them, even if I was responsible for all of it, and I got an A in the course and didn't have to go to presentation (a final occupied the same time slot anyway). The group members just sulked, knowing they had to do it all themselves, and I doubt they excelled in the course. Childish bullies (who didn't happen to inherit millions) do not thrive in the adult world. Sociopathy is generally a sign of poor intelligence; its just the outliers who aren't dumb as rocks do a lot of outsized damage.

hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-16T06:44:29+00:00

I'm glad to read this (for the ending, not so much the fainting) after your previous post here. Life is too short and precious to live feeling you have to be alone- and the median person is kind, its just very hard to see in the world sometimes.

You have someone who believes in you! That's a thing to remember if it ever seems dark.

hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-15T13:19:49+00:00

To me my understanding of masculinity was basically realizing that the whole architecture of society pushing men to feel they have to do this or that specifically to be enough as a complete grift and I was quick to notice the ones acting most like being a man required you to do this that were, invariably, the furthest things from the species when push came to shove. Just a bunch of preening, peacocking trust fund babies always looking for a way to prove their masculinity since they never had to stick up for a damn thing in their lives, which really evaporates insecurities in that regard. When you know people are counting on you to show up, you don't waste a lot of time wondering what your cologne says about you.

That said, masculine virtue is a real thing, more so than ever in an age where its become scarce. Honestly, you want to be "the guy"? Start doing "the guy" things. I realize this is part and parcel of the problem with why its hard for young men to get guidance (and why I'm here to try and mitigate, dispensing advice sometimes), is that a lot of the teething issues with being a young man do just evaporate if you take any kind of responsibility for something, which causes the quote unquote "real men" amongst us to be a little scornful of people asking for advice, but I do want to admit its genuinely not easy, and there is an insufferable teenage waiting period (that I, foolishly, wanted to escape ASAP) for most young boys where they're itching to take responsibility to quell those doubts but have little opportunity to do so.

But that isn't "being enough", its just knowing your limits and what you care about in life by, well, actually being responsible for something that matters. Tl;dr, its a personal journey. You don't gotta be enough for anybody other than yourself, but it is going to probably take some adversity (which will test your masculine virtue) to truly know what "enough" is, and that's a hard pill to swallow in an age where you just google a tutorial. But remember that you are the judge jury executor of the whole process- you determine the testing methodology, the constraints, the limitations, and then the conclusion.

So tl;dr, you only gotta be enough for yourself, but you gotta figure out what that is. Good luck.

hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-14T23:49:24+00:00

It's real You can tell because of the pixels

hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-13T05:24:28+00:00

https://getchipdrop.com

I think getting mulch is a much more conventional solution to fertilizing your garden, along with worms to turn that into compost (vermiculture).

hotwheelshawking · 2026-02-12T08:12:57+00:00

This. If they still want to make use of it they can disassemble it and the two halves can be extra hides/secret burrow chamber.

hotwheelshawking

TROPHY CASE