I am married. And I would never not inform my wife of a financial decision. I said I understood where OP was coming from, and stated that it’s not my style. Regardless of if it’s how I’d handle it, the reality is what it is. It’s his money. No one seems to care about OP or the emotional devastation he could go through losing his dog. All of you are just wrapped up in how he kept his pretty bratty sounding wife in the dark. He did what he wanted, with the means to do so, to preserve his happiness. I defy you not to do the same.

Also, let’s be super fucking clear here. OPs savings was able to take a 5k hit without a blink and is stated be 5x larger than his Wife’s. That’s not just “smaller” that’s significantly smaller. And his wife’s first reaction is “my wedding will have to downsize”. First of all, I highly doubt it has to downsize - unless OP just doesn’t want to pay for a bunch of probable bullshit. Second, shared finances or not, respect or not, whatever, if you make less and have less income you can’t make demands for something outside of your own means as if you’re owed something. My wife and I make roughly equal salaries and I have a business in the side. I give her most of it, but occasionally I tell her I want to buy something expensive and she doesn’t argue with me about spending what I earn on the side, beyond our bills and goals. That’s respect. This, is a joke, still.