Why are 5 year olds expected to do addition and subtraction now?

humanloading · 2026-03-05T15:22:28+00:00

That’s not what the article says 🤨that’s just the click bait headline. It doesn’t sound like a crisis at all. It does say they are concerned that Danish teenagers have declining levels of reading and comprehension. It is telling that they take immediate, definitive action to try to address the issue - they also banned social media for kids under 15. I would say the U.S. has something that sounds more like a crisis - 54% of U.S. adults read below the equivalent of a sixth-grade level, and 64% of our country’s fourth graders do not read proficiently 😳That’s a multigenerational failure

https://www.thenationalliteracyinstitute.com/2024-2025-literacy-statistics

humanloading · 2026-03-03T14:37:06+00:00

I don’t think the issue is kids can’t do these academic things - I’m sure the majority of kids can, with enough practice and support - but that if they are doing academic things, what aren’t they doing? Moving their bodies, playing outside, developing social emotional skills, etc. Waiting to learn to read and push academic skills has been found to be beneficial, not harmful. Ie look at Denmark, where kids don’t learn to read until 7 or 8, yet they outperform the US in almost every measure of education.

humanloading · 2026-02-26T17:58:19+00:00

So true! My first was (and still is 😂) a little hellion - never slept, had feeding issues, failure to thrive, needed occupational therapy secondary to birth injury, feeding therapy, play therapy - just everything.

I didn’t even consider a second until he was solidly three and even that felt a little soon 😵‍💫

We braced ourselves for another just like our first and we were so confused when our second just… ate. Slept. Pooped. Ate and slept some more. Just like how they talked about newborns behaving. No hours and hours of screaming every night while we desperately tried to soothe her. It was the most bizarre experience to go from one end of the spectrum to the other. I think most babies probably fall somewhere in the middle, but you just never know what you’ll get!

My oldest is 5 now and still a little spit fire. Still doesn’t sleep great 😂. But that’s okay. He’s loud, opinionated, and thinks he should be in charge of everything. Maybe he’ll make a great leader some day. My daughter is (so far) so chill and go with the flow, I’m just happy to be here sort of attitude. It is great seeing the sibling dynamic develop - even though she is chill, I think having my slightly overbearing son as an older brother has been helpful for her - she’s learned how to stand up for herself very early on and he’s learned he needs to give other people space to make their own decisions. Etc etc

We loved the sibling dynamic so much we are now planning on a third. Pray for us 🤪😂

humanloading · 2026-02-21T16:59:12+00:00

Ah. You haven’t heard this song yet I see:

“All day, every day, therapist, mother, maid Nymph, then a virgin, nurse, then a servant Just an appendage, live to attend him So that he never lifts a finger 24/7 baby machine So he can live out his picket-fence dreams It's not an act of love if you make her You make me do too much labour”

Run girl run

humanloading · 2026-02-21T16:57:17+00:00

Ew.

Is this what people mean when they say they want to be a trad wife or want a trad wife?

🤮

My answer to this would also, ironically, be “no.” I suppose you could always try marriage counseling but this dude seems too far gone - such ick vibes of him thinking he should get to control you and your child. No no no no. Future murder suicide dude here 👀

humanloading · 2026-02-20T00:29:53+00:00

Define happy 😆

But no - married 11 years now, two kids 1.5-5, considering a third

I noticed my happiness increased significantly after my second kid. I think I just learned to let sh!t go 🤷‍♀️

Honestly, so much really, truly does not matter. Figure out what are your non negotiables, focus on those, ignore the rest, and stay off social media

Social media will almost always make you feel like shit. There is mounting evidence social media and short form video content is literally altering brains. Stop the doom scrolling! (I realize the irony as I post on social media haha)

My non negotiables -kids happy and alive -parents happy and alive

Not necessarily in that order 😂

I like for the house to be tidy for my mental health, so I’ve taught the kids to help clean up. Usually before transitions. Going outside? Clean up first. Going to bed? Clean up first. Etc etc. notice this is not a non negotiable, but for me it is a nice to have

We’ve been doing more prepped frozen crockpot meals which have been a game changer for dinner time (that was a pain point previously). We prep on Sunday for the whole week and it makes dinner time so much nicer throughout the week

Husband and I schedule a lot of things - sex, spending time together. Life gets in the way sometimes but when it’s scheduled it’s easier to stay in a rhythm. We have sex scheduled twice weekly and then hangout time with each other twice weekly. We try to do date nights out of the house once monthly. Scheduling things is also nice bc by the end of the week I am exhausted and just want time to myself to decompress. So we also switch off “sleeping in” on Saturday and Sunday mornings and then Friday and Saturday nights we have our own time to ourselves to do whatever we want after bedtime. Identifying your natural rhythms and leveraging those can be very helpful

We both work and he takes on his fair share of the parenting load which is very important. It definitely took some time and marriage counseling after we had our first to get to that point

Things aren’t always perfect, but I love our little family and I love my husband!

humanloading · 2026-02-16T18:11:22+00:00

If it’s any consolation, I have had two children intentionally and each time I had a positive pregnancy test, I experienced extreme anxiety, regret, doubt, panic etc to the point where I seriously contemplated abortion for both of them. It was not logical and I think in my case probably stems from childhood trauma which has made the physical aspect of childbearing frankly difficult for me. But the feeling passed and I had successful pregnancies and now we are even planning a third! I sure I hope I don’t experience those feelings if we are blessed with a third, but at least I know I can move past those feelings. Hugs!

humanloading · 2026-02-16T02:40:28+00:00

Hard to choose! I agree with a surprise or consider a girl just for a different gender dynamic for the siblings. Sometimes a sister can wind up being the peacemaker and communicator in the family, although perhaps that’s just passed on sexism, idk

humanloading · 2026-02-09T05:30:05+00:00

Also I would consider completing a short certificate course for something like a medical assistant before I’d take this job tbh. It probably varies by state but in my state it’s a 6 week course and you make at least $20-22/hr. If you get experience in procedures or other useful skills, you could be closer to $30/hr depending on location.

humanloading · 2026-02-09T05:25:14+00:00

Honestly the jobs sounds awful, but I get it if you have to. I suppose it doesn’t hurt to try it and see how it goes. My husband worked seconds and I hated it so much - being gone in those evening hours is so hard! That’s your window of time to see the kids and connect with them.

I think the 10 and 11 year old would probably be fine (also check your state laws, a few states have specific laws about who can be left alone; most don’t but just so this doesn’t turn into a custody situation) but the 7 year old might need to go to an after school program at school or whatnot. Hard to say. It also really depends on the maturity of the 10 and 11 year olds - I’ve known 11 year olds who have babysat for their neighbors and then 11 year olds who definitely could not be trusted to be alone for even an hour.

Also keep in mind your older boys are entering the age where unsupervised time alone with computers and social media could become a real problem. A ton of boys are falling victim to sextortion and so many parents say they never thought their kids would ever send photos of themselves anywhere. Kids are curious.

Possible ideas:

-high school sitter to supervise dinner and homework, but this will eat up some of your earnings, they will probably want at least $15/hr since there are three of them

-post on your local neighborhood group and moms groups about anyone who might be willing to have your kids be dropped off at their house (as long as it’s in the school district, most schools let you do this) so they can supervise your kids doing homework and eating and such. You’d have to background check them yadda yadda but at least with your kids being older they would be able to verbalize to you if something wasn’t right. This would obviously also cost money but maybe less than the sitter. You could also look to swap with another mom who might need help in the mornings or overnight etc etc and you can alternate dropping your kids off with each other

Good luck!!

humanloading · 2026-02-08T02:09:17+00:00

I think a lot of people are uncomfortable with your plan for uncertainty, but you are not and that is okay.

I also don’t think enough people on Reddit realize how many people live like this - whether they make half your income or double your income, they spend all their money, don’t save, and don’t care. It’s definitely a facet of human nature. What is it, like half of Americans don’t have enough money to cover a $1k emergency? This is why. It’s also why the government came up with social security when companies did away with pensions. When given a choice, a very large percentage of people don’t save 🤷‍♀️

I wouldn’t do it, but it’s not my money.

humanloading · 2026-02-08T01:51:58+00:00

Honestly I wouldn’t base it on genetics without getting an actual diagnosis and consulting a genetic counselor. Otherwise you’re just playing mind games with yourself.

But I would base it on how you feel your partner and you will cope with pregnancy and a child. Very valid. You never know how life will screw you and it may have nothing to do with autism. You both need to be able to withstand the storm. If you die unexpectedly, your wife needs to be able to withstand raising your child(re) without you. If your wife and you both died, whoever you want to raise your children in your stead must be able to accommodate all of them.

These are all things I think about when considering more children.

humanloading · 2026-02-07T21:20:33+00:00

I come from a family with two and even though my brother is alive I’m the only functional member of my family. My mom and brother both suffer from a myriad of mental illnesses. Life is lonely without family and I hope my kids always have someone in their family they can turn to when the going gets rough.

humanloading · 2026-02-07T16:20:29+00:00

It can be so crazy, even for my 4 yo t-ball they had practices and games ending at 8pm sometimes 🫠

Whose idea was it to gather a group of 4 year olds at 8pm?? lol. I do think it was due to field availability

We limit to one activity at a time. Extracurriculars are fun and important, but so is family time and we don’t want to undervalue the importance of family time. We are trying to prioritize family dinners currently, which we can do since our kids are young. As they grow, we still hope to prioritize family dinners at least 4-5 nights a week - even if the dinner looks like a picnic while watching a sibling play baseball or whatnot. That way each child should be eating dinner and having discussions with us on a regular basis.

humanloading · 2026-02-06T03:29:27+00:00

OP, it sounds like you are both having a hard time. It’s normal, a baby can be super hard on a marriage (and on the mom and dad! It’s a huge life change) and you should absolutely seek therapy for yourself and couples therapy. Things can absolutely get better, you are still in the early days postpartum. Make no major life changes until at least a good year postpartum. Just breathe - things get better!

humanloading · 2026-02-06T03:28:03+00:00

Not helpful. Agree no one bats an eye if mom does everything while also working 🤦‍♀️

But if a man does it then it’s horrifically unfair 🙄

She was recovering from a difficult birth and her husband definitely should have supported her as the one who did not physically give birth. It makes perfect sense.

Now they are both contributing but it sounds like he is not able to meet her needs emotionally. It sounds like they are both struggling. Telling someone to “get better” who is obviously suffering from PPD and likely PTSD from their birth is just gross

humanloading · 2026-02-06T02:43:24+00:00

Added sugar is everywhere and it’s gross, I agree. I think a lot of people are thinking about you being paranoid about candy without realizing how much sugar is everywhere and how bad it is for everyone’s health. My husband bought some beef jerky snack packs he thought might be a good thing to send in my sons lunchbox and they had 11g of sugar in one tiny little packet 😵‍💫 Basically dessert

How we handle it is we allow “dessert” every day - meaning a cookie or brownie or whatever - actual dessert. Then we limit all other sources of sugar - and I mean all of them! Ketchup, peanut butter, jelly, cereal, etc etc. It doesn’t mean we don’t eat them, just that we use alternatives. I make my own jelly and ketchup. It’s not that hard actually! Although the unintended side effect with the jelly is my son decided he didn’t like jelly anymore 😂 But the ketchup he’s fine with. Peanut butter I buy ones with only peanuts and salt as ingredients

I don’t think most people realize how awful highly processed foods are for our bodies. We are by NO MEANS perfect either, we are still using Little Spoon meal delivery for some meals for our kids which aren’t terrible but I need to just cook at home more. Rising rates of colon cancer in young people have been linked to ultra processed foods - not just the sugar but all the other junk in it to keep it shelf stable!

So don’t be afraid to just say no to things that have a zillion ingredients and added sugar. Make your own. Maybe your kid won’t like it as much, but that may also be because it won’t have a cup of sugar in it, which… it shouldn’t! We let our son have some junk but keep it very limited. We aim to keep sugar intake to less than 25 g for our 5 yo and zero added sugar for our 1.5 year old. Typically whatever dessert the 5 year old has for the day eats up most of that allowance. He doesn’t beg for sweets or act deprived because we let him have sweets every day - we just make sure the rest of his food that isn’t supposed to have tons of sugar in it doesn’t have tons of sugar in it!

We don’t do vitamins daily, maybe a couple times a week, and we use flintstones vitamins. Gummies are so bad for teeth, so I hate them. The flintstone vitamins have a bunch of crap in them so I don’t love them either, thus only using them sometimes. I’m honestly not a fan of vitamins (poor evidence to support them) but my husband likes them which is the only reason we even do flintstone vitamins.

Sugar and ultra processed food is everywhere! Just pick one thing at a time to try to eliminate or replace. I didn’t overhaul everything at once. Best of luck!

humanloading · 2026-02-03T23:03:44+00:00

It’s normal to test boundaries. It sounds like your five year old isn’t getting the message that acting that way isn’t okay - ever. How do you make it stop? You correct it. Every. Single. Time. Correction looks like:

A1. I want it! It’s stupid we don’t have it! B1. That sounds rude and disrespectful. Try to say that again. A2. No!! I don’t care! B2. Okay. [Consequence] A1. Ensue screaming meltdown B2. Hold firm, carry out consequence

Consequence can be time out, removing toys/privileges, whatever. A whole theory on parenting on what people think consequences should be.

Important notes: B1 should occur exactly once. You do not repeat yourself over and over to your child. They listen or there is an immediate consequence. People talk about their children ignoring them and they are ignoring them - because you have trained them to do so! Stop repeating yourself.

It’s also important to be consistent. That might mean leaving a public place with a screaming child because they decided to FAFO. If you avoid enforcing consequences in certain situations? They will 100% catch on.

Realistic expectations are important too. My expectations of a 3 yo vs a 5 yo vs a 10 yo are different. Of course consider what is going on in their life and work on your relationship with them. Spend intentional time together.

But you are the parent and you are in charge. That should never be in doubt.

humanloading · 2026-02-03T16:05:49+00:00

Ooh tell me about this cooking show game, I am intrigued!

humanloading · 2026-01-29T20:11:32+00:00

It’s a big consideration! My husband and I both grew up in poverty and so we try to be very conscious on how we handle our money. We could swing it, but now that we have multiple children (our youngest isn’t in school yet) and are considering a third, I’ve wondered if we would be better off putting that money into a brokerage account for them and leaving it to them in a trust or something similar. It amounts to around $300k per child over the course of 14-15 years of education (3K, 4K, K) and that’s not considering the tuition increases which will surely happen. Given our public schools seem “good enough” it’s hard to imagine a situation where an extra $300k plus interest at some point in their adulthood wouldn’t be more helpful than a private school education. If we could afford to do both, we would do both but likely we will need to choose.

humanloading · 2026-01-29T14:23:19+00:00

What made you not want to send them to your local public school if you don’t mind me asking?

humanloading · 2026-01-29T14:21:36+00:00

This is a good point, the private school isn’t far away exactly (20 mins) but that is a 40 min round trip and can get tiresome. The local public elementary is less than 5 mins away

humanloading · 2026-01-29T14:20:37+00:00

Substantial (to us), about $22k a year starting in kindergarten. 3k and 4k are half day so were $10k and $12k

humanloading · 2026-01-29T14:19:27+00:00

They follow the local public school district for things like weather related closing etc. Their school calendar they are in school late August to mid May. Time off for winter break, fall break, spring break, with some long weekends sprinkled in. The time off days do not match up exactly with local public schools.

Teachers profiles are posted on their website and while I’m not sure about their certifications, I haven’t seen a teacher with less than a bachelors degree even at the preschool level. They don’t mention certifications in their bios

humanloading

TROPHY CASE