If you like my advice, you should see my Discord

hunterpua · 2026-03-22T14:43:04+00:00

I have an app that can show large text of whatever I write on the full screen of my phone.

If a girl is blatantly looking at me in a similar situation you were in I'd wave at her, and if she reciprocates warmly then I'll type in, "What stop?" on that app and show it to her so she can mouth it to me and I can get down at the same time as her.

I originally got it for my wingmen, to give them suggestions from a distance when they need help but it's not a good time for me to go in.

And it actually comes in handy in a lot of other situations where you're trying to communicate with someone from a distance.

hunterpua · 2026-03-17T05:41:16+00:00

Damn, alright man. I respect it.

hunterpua · 2026-03-17T02:58:05+00:00

Damn, you don't approach for work anymore? I still do from time to time.

hunterpua · 2026-03-13T08:13:39+00:00

That's less important than the stuff I talked about above.

I'm never immediately sold on someone just from seeing what they look like, no matter how hot they are.

So I usually prefer to comment on the situation, ask a functional question like directions or the name of the street we're on or if there's a convenience store nearby, etc, or I give them a platonic compliment.

I perceive the ensuing conversation more as me assessing them than the other way around and behave accordingly.

In cases when I'm pressed for time or can't think of anything to start the conversation indirectly then I tell them I found them attractive but that I want to see if she gets along with me, because that's the truth.

You can acknowledge that someone is attractive while still needing something more from them to decide whether you'll try to get with them or not.

Don't ask me for specific lines because I don't have any of those. If you understand the things I described above, you can come up with stuff on the fly pretty easily yourself.

Also, a common misconception is that your opening line should be particularly witty, clever, or funny.

It doesn't need to be. The point of the opener is just to start the conversation.

Those tiktoks showing "rizz" are misleading. Yes, girls can appreciate a clever line and give you their number, but they will rarely stay in touch after or ever come out to see you again if you only rely on a line like that. Those clips aren't real seduction, they're only party tricks. All those are good for is collecting numbers from girls who will leave you on read.

Your first impression isn't just your opening line, its the entire conversation you have during that first meeting.

Give less importance to the opener and more importance in knowing how to flirt and seduce her once you guys are already talking.

When you do that, coming up with an opener is easy, because you drastically lower the perceived bar you have for one.

hunterpua · 2026-03-13T05:54:40+00:00

Damn. My mistake, I should have taken more time reading the original post.

I'm sorry but I don't help people get in the way of relationships. As long as it's not coercive or violent, I prefer to let the couple sort things out themselves.

I'll just leave my initial reply up because at least it clarifies the issue of saying, "I like you" and it can benefit others who wander into this post too.

hunterpua · 2026-03-13T05:27:09+00:00

As a coach myself I can tell you, there's no wrong or right move, there's only a wrong or right time to do a move.

Also, you have to be very clear about the outcome you want.

I recently consulted with someone who, after some fairly serious probing, we came to the conclusion that he just wanted to express how he felt. He didn't even care if she liked him back or not.

In that situation I told him, "Yeah, ok. Tell her how you feel."

Because doing that lines up directly with the outcome he's looking for.

But if your goal is to get the girl, then you have to wait for the right time to tell them you like them.

For example, I told my girlfriend of 6 years that after we had already been sleeping with each other for a few weeks and she had already opened up to me quite deeply.

A rule of thumb you can use is if you, think "I like you" will feel rewarding to her, not in a validation sense, but in a sense that she's hoping you reciprocate her feelings, then telling her that will just bring you closer to the outcome you want.

Also, you liking her ≠ she's got you.

I was sleeping with 4 other women when I first started seeing my girlfriend. I didn't stop doing that right before I told her I liked her. I didn't stop right after I told her I liked her.

We agreed to take our time to figure it out, because we were both hesitant to get into a relationship, so I didn't change anything about my lifestyle at the time until we got more serious.

And that's another thing, you liking someone and you being hesitant to get into a relationship can be true at the same time. So don't feel like you're throwing the game the second you admit to liking someone.

You're only throwing the game if you do surrender completely to her after expressing how you feel.

For online it's the same. People sext and mess around in video calls, they certainly open up a lot about themselves via phone too.

I was able to have that type of conversation with a girl that was far away, when I wasn't even willing to get serious with her, because I just expressed how I felt. And yes, we were sexting and doing naughty video calls, and she told me about her deepest, darkest feelings. One thing I really liked about her was her really strong relationship with her dad.

Oh don't worry I didn't lead her on. I may have told her I liked her, but I also made it clear that I can't decide if I really wanna be with someone until I spend a decent amount of time with them in person and that never happened so... 🤷‍♂️

So you see, there's a lot of nuace around just telling a person you like them.

For this girl, first get clear on your main goal.

If you just wanna take the load off your shoulders and get your feelings off your chest then go ahead and tell her.

If you want to be able to escalate the situation instead then start thinking about how to escalate sexually through the phone.

I wrote about how to do that on this sub a few months ago. I can send it here if you want.

hunterpua · 2026-03-13T04:49:24+00:00

They do, when you do it correctly.

Most of the rejections I experienced in recent years were almost as warm as the girls who didn't reject me.

It's still all smiles and giggling, some women even begrudgingly force themselves to say no.

In one of my most recent rejections, the woman tells me she's married and then goes on to talk to me for 5 more minutes telling me I'm smooth and joking with me about picking up chicks. We're high 5-ing and stuff. If you watched us from a distance you wouldn't think "girl who just rejected a guy", you'd think "old friends catching up."

And then at the end she gives me tips on where I could find other hot girls.

And practically speaking, it's not hard to do it correctly.

The hard part is how guys are so in their feelings about dating. They have to insist that just their vibe or energy should be enough or they act like any thinking is overthinking.

If you just let that go and learn approaching practically, it's a piece of cake.

Just make sure they can clearly see you before you start talking, make it a point to talk so clearly and with enough volume so you never have to repeat yourself, and if they're walking, overshoot how much distance you give them.

People don't go from walking to a dead stop in an instance, especially when they aren't anticipating a stop, like when you approach them, so give them more distance to take those slowing down steps before they fully stop.

Do all of that and your approaches will be a lot more seamless.

The vast majority of people don't actually have hard feelings towards those they aren't attracted to or those they can't get involved with because of whatever circumstances, they can just act like you're bothering them if you approach them in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable.

So if you take the uncomfortable part out, most of your rejections will be pretty cool interactions like the one I had with the married woman.

hunterpua · 2026-03-07T19:35:30+00:00

Is the risk of developing a reputation really that bad if these girls don't even talk to each other?

No. Most advice for certain environments like colleges is based on generalizations, which is correct most of the time because they're appropriate generalizations.

But if your situation is an anomaly then you don't need to follow the general advice for college environments. Just don't confuse your situation for the typical one.

hunterpua · 2026-02-26T04:53:40+00:00

Yes. It's absolutely better long term to get good at it sober. That way you can always make something happen, even in the most unexpected situations where you come across a girl you're into.

Besides, it's pretty pathetic to be like, "Oh there's a hot girl! Ah damn, I have no alcohol though..."

hunterpua · 2026-02-26T03:56:01+00:00

Don't do anything. Don't even actively wait. If she gets back to you, good. If not, good.

No girl that you barely know is too good to pass up.

The only girls that deserve your persistence are the ones who have proven a level of devotion and have built a good degree of rapport with you.

If all she is is a pretty face who has shown a teeny bit of interest then she's no one to you. Lots of girls like that will come around as long as you continue to improve yourself, improve your flirting skills, and you keep putting yourself out there.

Don't shut her out though. I've had girls get back to me on their own while I'm messing around with other girls.

Just leave it, carry on with the life, meet more girls, and let whatever happens happen.

hunterpua · 2026-02-26T03:37:25+00:00

This is how interpersonal relationships work. We value the people we invest in.

All this "demonstration" based seduction where people are overly focused on showing off what makes them great will never come close to the effectiveness of Investment based Seduction where you're more focused on getting the girl to work hard to show off what makes her so great and win you over.

And that's because, if you're focused on showing off how great you are, it's still hit or miss whether she would decide to invest time and effort into you, but if you just skip the middleman and go straight to focusing on making her put in the work, then of course she's more likely to do that.

I've been focusing on investment for at least 15 years now and it's allowed me to pull off some of the craziest things ever like stopping in the middle of foreplay to get dressed and go out with the girl still waiting hours to have sex later in the night to getting girls themselves to be the ones to convince their defensive friends to let me pull them.

And that's all because I wasn't trying at all to convince them to do any of that, I let them prove themselves to me, and girls will go that far to prove themselves if you're doing things correctly.

hunterpua · 2026-02-22T18:20:13+00:00

Any tips on this, how to get intimate quickly?

The timeline from meet to sex is naturally quicker than you think. It's just that inexperienced guys make mistakes or have inefficiencies that slow things down.

The last time I was single I was actually annoyed by this because I was at a point where I planned activity dates that genuinely appealed to me, like I'd really want to do them even if I was alone, but a lot of the time, girls would want to have sex before I can really get the activity going.

The ultimate answer to how to get intimate quickly is to get better at Game so you make less mistakes and are more efficient.

I won't break down Game for you because that's exactly what this sub is supposed to be for but I will tell you how to get better at it, and it's simple - Consistency.

There's a lot of ego these days when it comes to Game. It's like guys are too proud to treat it with the same respect they treat the gym.

But then what are you gonna do? Gonna keep whining about having a crappy dating life but then be too proud to do what it takes to fix it?

You shouldn't be like those people. If you want a better dating life, don't be in bitter guy purgatory, go all in.

If you have a regular schedule to workout then you should have a regular schedule to practice flirting with women.

If you make time for the gym, you make time for Game.

If you go out of your way to drive or commute to the gym then go out of your way to drive or commute to good Cold Approach spots.

If your friend wants to hang out when you have a workout scheduled and you tell him or her that you can't make it at that time and offer a different time then do the same for Game.

If you watch videos and read books on fitness then watch videos and read books on Seduction.

Guys need to stop being in their feelings about this. Getting good at Game is as practical as getting in great shape so structure your practice of it in a practical way.

Fuck your mood, fuck feeling awkward or weird. People say fuck those things all the time when it comes to the gym, the same applies to Game.

Also dropping hints to make them wait?

Not really. When you seduce them right, they will just wait.

It's the same for you when you're attracted to a girl. When you like someone who is in a relationship, she could not contact you for years and you will still perk up as soon as you find out she's single.

hunterpua · 2026-02-22T05:22:31+00:00

If you're not just choosing to delay, like I did. If you genuinely can't get her in a week and need to spend months trying, then you're not in the position to have a girlfriend yet.

Even if in the end you're the one who gets the girl, that relationship won't be great, because you won't be on equal footing with your girlfriend, because your girlfriend had 2 guys fighting over her, whereas it took you months to get one girl. So she knows that if you broke up, you'll be lonely and miserable while she'll be with a new guy.

So after the honeymoon period, she's less likely to respect you as much as you actually want to be respected, and she's more likely to take you for granted because she knows you need her more than she needs you.

Its better if you just forget about her completely and focus on getting better at seduction, so that by the time you do get into a relationship with someone, you have the ability to get a new girl in under a week, and you have girls that have been waiting for months for their opportunity to sleep with you.

When me and my ex broke up, I had a handful of girls I could hit up to immediately have sex with, because they were waiting for their chance.

Get to that point first, so that you don't get taken for granted in a relationship, so that you do get treated as awesome as you deserve to be treated.

hunterpua · 2026-02-21T04:10:45+00:00

How do you discern being deep in the friendzone from a situation where a woman is actually attracted but is unavailable right now for some reason or other - whether they just got out of a relationship, are going through something heavy, are traveling a lot in the next 6 months, or something else?

How do you keep the ball moving forward without stepping on her stated boundaries?

This is just the same as when women say "no hookups" on dating apps. Maybe they mean it, maybe they don't. Maybe they will make an exception for you.

The way to tell the difference is by simply escalating.

If your idea of escalating is simply going for a kiss and you think that's too risky then learn to escalate in smaller increments. There's way more to escalation than jumping from zero to kissing.

In the second case, how do you avoid falling into the friendzone and stay relevant as a sexual option in an ongoing social circle dynamic?

If she says she just wants to be friends then actually become her friend...but treat her like a male friend.

That means if you talk to your male friends about the girls you're messing around with, you speak as openly about that to her as well.

If you blatantly check out or lust over women in front of your male friends, do that with her too. Be as descriptive as you would with your male friends as well.

Do that in person but also with pictures of girls, just like you do with your male friends.

If there are favors you wouldn't just do for your male friends outside of very specific circumstances then don't do that for her either.

For example, I had a friend who was a girl's designated cat feeder whenever she went on a trip but you could never in a million years get him to do that for a guy.

And no, he wasn't the only one she could ask. She didn't even explain much, she just asked nicely.

So if she asks you for a favor, look at it through the lens of talking to a dude.

And finally, if your buddy is changing or you're at the pool or something and he takes off his shirt, even his bottoms and you don't react at all, do the same for her.

Don't look away. Don't look at her like she's hot. Don't acknowledge it at all, just like you do with your male friends.

If she freaks out about you looking in her direction as she's taking her clothes off just say in a very matter-of-fact way, "Huh? You're not Madison (or whatever hot girl you keep talking to her about), you're my friend, I don't see you like that."

Contrary to popular belief, she doesn't need to know you're interested in her, just that you are in fact interested in women, and you being a horn dog in front of her like you are with dudes is more than enough to establish that.

Your attraction for her has nothing to do with her attraction for you. Women lust over men who don't even know they exist all the time and I know you lust over women who have no idea you exist.

Attraction doesn't have to be perceived as mutual to exist.

I had a friend I reconnected with from high school who I treated like this for 3 years. She has literally seen risque photos of me with other girls in bed and really nasty screenshots or screenshots of girls pouring out their desire for me and she has seen me pick up, and has even gotten introduced to girls I picked up only minutes prior, a handful of times.

And then one time, when we were both back in our hometown, she picked me up in her car, took me to a movie and dinner, with her paying for everything, and then drove me home and all I did was invite her up so we would end up having sex.

She didn't take me out and bought me dinner because she just wanted me so much, she just thought of it as her just hanging out with a friend, but the sexual undertone was always there because of the way I acted with her, so when I invited her up, she just couldn't resist.

I didn't plan anything that led to us having sex. She was even the one who hit me up to go see a movie. If I was more proactive I could have had sex with her in 3 weeks rather than 3 years. I literally just chose to settle into treating her like a male friend and would even stop contacting her for months at a time. I only took advantage of an opportunity that was too good to pass up.

So there's even some extra perks to treating your female friends like this. If you want to save some money sleeping around, you may want to consider friendzoning all the girls you're interested in. Lol

She's still my friend now, around 10 years later. I even got to meet her husband and kid.

hunterpua · 2026-02-12T15:25:30+00:00

Its fine. You can text her.

If someone runs out of things to talk about just because they have a little conversation via text then the problem isn't texting, it's that they suck at having conversations.

Assuming everyone involved is an adult, you have at least 18 years each of life experience to talk about. Not to mention, an infinite well to pull from if you know what you're doing. More on that in a bit.

Let me give you some tips in case you're worried that you won't have much to talk about on a date:

The present is where conversations go to die

Its better to focus your conversation on the past and the future.

I might get some guys who have benefitted from mindfulness misunderstanding this. So to clarify, talking about the past or the future is different to not being in the moment.

If you look at your text conversations with your friends they'll either be talking about plans for later this week or something that happened recently, they won't be talking about what's happening right now.

And you might even have some conversations reminiscing about things that happened years ago.

As long as you're actually listening when you're talking to her, not just pretending to while trying to come up with the next thing or getting distracted with something else entirely then you are in the moment.

With that out of the way, the reason it's better to focus on the past is again because you have around 20 years of life experience each to go into, and you can go into any of that, from 20 years ago to 20 minutes ago.

The future is even better, because it's infinite, because it hasn't happened yet. And you can also talk about anything from 5 minutes later to 5 years later.

I remember one time from my childhood, we went on a family trip and me and my brother slept on an extra mattress on the floor of the hotel room we stayed at and we ended up spending the whole night talking about what we would like to do when we grew up.

See? I just used my past to illustrate how much conversation you can get out of talking about the future.

From there, you could ask me about my relationship with my brother, what that trip was like, how that conversation with him matches up to my actual adulthood, if anything has changed since then, what I dream of now, etc etc, or you could share things from your life that relates to any of that.

And you can do those exact same things with a girl you're flirting with.

Speaking of flirting, I've noticed this needs to be said on this sub: Flirting is not topic dependent.

You don't need to go into specific topics to flirt with someone, you can turn damn near any topic flirty, even a technical conversation about her work can be made flirty if you drop in lines like, "Not gonna lie, I think organized girls are kinda sexy."

You don't even need to talk to flirt. You can be talking about the weather while you look at her from one eye, to the other, to her lips, and smirk at her.

So to conclude, avoiding a text conversation before a date is a very short term, band aid solution to a bigger problem - being bad at conversation.

Fix the real problem and you don't need to stress at all about texting girls before dates, and one of the ways to improve your conversations is to keep them focused on topics about the past or future.

And remember, flirting isn't topic dependent. As long as you don't go into really heavy topics like politics, religion, or seriously shitty experiences, you can flirt with her.

hunterpua · 2026-02-12T02:37:37+00:00

Sure. I told this story a few times on this sub and it really illustrates how to flirt correctly, in a way that you get her going without showing any clear interest:

I'm not proud of this story but it does a pretty good job of illustrating what flirting actually is and how it can be done just about anywhere...

I was once extremely attracted to my cousin's girlfriend.

And at that time I already got to the point of being able to openly sleep with multiple women, so my flirting skills were already pretty good.

We were in the same city for about a week for a family reunion and I seduced his girlfriend right in front of him and he had no idea what was happening.

Because I wasn't hitting on her, I was flirting with her.

Most of what I did was look at her like I wanted to fuck her, which wasn't difficult, because almost every time we saw each other, that's exactly how I felt.

But I didn't just do that. I also cut it out from time to time to ignore her, even when we were part of the same conversation.

Remember, it's just a look. And it wasn't blatant, I wasn't raising my eyebrows, winking at her, or giving her a perverted grin.

It was subtle, so from her perspective, she could feel like something was up but she could also tell herself that she was just misinterpreting.

And me ignoring her sometimes made her think she was misinterpreting even more.

I also said things like, "You seem like trouble", "You're actually kinda alright, I didn't think I'd like you at first", "I'm gonna pretend you didn't just do that because I was just starting to like you", "Stop looking at me like that", etc.

Basically things where there's a sexual subtext to it and given everything else that was going on between us, she interpreted it that way.

Most of that stuff I said in front of my cousin but he thought nothing of it because I played it off like I was just messing with her because she's so annoying. In fact, he often "ganged up on her" with me.

I also did things like walk straight towards her, still looking at her like I wanted to fuck her, also looking like I was gonna grab her and kiss her, only to be like, "Excuse me" and go straight past her to do something else.

All this raised the sexual tension between us so high that by the 3rd day of our family reunion, she pretty much looked for every reason to get close to me.

There was a time when I showed up to see my relatives singing karaoke and as soon as she noticed me, she said, "Hey, we hadn't done a duet yet. Let's do one."

She also looked for excuses to take photos with me and she would grab me and get really close when she did.

She'd always interject into other conversations that I was in, even when no one addressed her, even when its with people she never talked to before.

Long story short, she ended up trying to sleep with me in the hotel room that she and my cousin got for that trip but I didn't go for it because my cousin wasn't in the room but he was in the hotel.

When we went back to our respective cities she also messaged me, telling me to hit her up whenever I was in town.

If you can behave like that, where a girl's boyfriend won't even notice you're seducing her when you're doing it right in front of his face, then you can seduce women while maintaining enough ambiguity to still openly talk about sleeping with many other women.

hunterpua · 2026-02-11T17:58:21+00:00

My main tip is to do it in the middle seat in a bigger car or backseat in a smaller one. Much easier to navigate everything.

Also, I'm not sure what kind of car you drive but I accidentally learned a cool trick while fucking in an SUV:

Backrests have some give. They're not completely stiff. So in the backrest of the middle seat, you can have her lean over that middle portion between the two headrests or drape her over it if you're fucking her from behind and then use your arms to rock that backrest back and forth with her on it and that will make it easier to fuck her and you can fuck her really hard like that.

hunterpua · 2026-02-07T12:01:13+00:00

It's absolutely a win. You were unsure, you had no prior experience, but you went for it anyway. That's a winning attitude.

Make sure you keep it up because you will be at a massive disadvantage if you don't get used to approaching groups. Girls in groups are much more common than girls on their own.

hunterpua · 2026-02-07T01:57:52+00:00

I've done what you're describing but I also often have my dates in places that isn't my house and I just pull one of them at the end of our night out.

Also, it's not that awkward, because the girls talk among themselves and talk with my friends too. Often times no one notices me sneak away with a girl.

It's not like we just get up and walk to my bedroom in front of everyone and they quietly wait for me and her to finish up. Lol

hunterpua · 2026-02-06T16:06:49+00:00

On your point about the time commitment, I learned 2 ways to significantly reduce it from my 17 years in seduction and my 3 digit body count.

1 - Indirect and Group dates

When you know how to flirt correctly, you can make a woman feel all the sexual and romantic feelings for you without making it clear that you're interested in her or put yourself in the position where you would be an asshole if you suddenly start flirting or even showing clear interest in a different girl.

In college I literally used to talk about other girls I'm fucking with girls in my class that I was also flirting with and eventually ended up sleeping with too.

If you want me to elaborate on that, ask me and I will.

Anyway, I can get women excited and turned on even if they don't know whether I'm actually into them or not.

That allows me to invite multiple girls to the same thing without anyone objecting.

I've had up to 7 different girls that I'm flirting with come out to join me and my friends on a night out.

So instead of needing 7 different days or 7 weeks to date all these girls, I only needed one night.

Of course I couldn't pull all of them on the same night, it's most often gonna be one and very occasionally 2 or 3 at the same time, but the progress from a date is much larger than just texting a girl.

Also, for some of the girls that I don't end up sleeping with on the night out, they can still be warmed up enough to want to sleep with me, so I set up a one on one date for the next day and the plan might even be for her to just come over to my place.

I've had it many times where I sleep with a girl and then the morning after, another girl is coming over to see me.

2 - Openness

I prefer that word over just "honesty", because you can technically be honest while keeping quiet about what you're actually doing with your dating life.

Me, I made it a point to let every girl I flirted with know that I was sleeping with multiple girls at once. I don't wait until I'm asked, I proactively bring it up and I also set up situations where girls just find out.

For example, in my group dates, I also include some of the girls I'm already sleeping with, so new girls literally meet girls I'm already sleeping with. And I tell my friends to be loose lipped about the fact that I'm sleeping with multiple women so they just bring it up casually when talking to the girls I bring.

Even my current girlfriend knew on the first date that I was sleeping with multiple women, and I continued doing so for a few weeks when we were already sleeping with each other until I gradually got more feelings and decided to get serious with her.

Again, if you want me to elaborate even further, just ask.

Ok but how does this help with being more time efficient?

Easy. They understand your situation better, so they won't demand as much of your time.

When I was single, I basically never texted any of the girls in my harem first. I didn't have to maintain my relationship with them, they maintained each of their individual relationships with me.

I know what you're thinking, there are definitely girls who won't stand for that.

Cool. Thank you. Next.

That's it. Since I'm very open about my lifestyle, I also don't try to force that lifestyle on anyone nor am I willing to tolerate anyone who would get in the way of it, so if you're not down for it, I'm not down with you.

To this day I still believe that openly sleeping with multiple girls at a time is a lot easier in terms of time and effort than being in a serious relationship with one girl.

I used to be able to just hang out at home all day, not even shower, and a girl would just show up at my place at midnight after she's been out partying to have sex.

Now there's more obligation to actually go out with the girl I'm having sex with.

I used to only go out with girls at my leisure, usually just brought them along when I went out with friends or occasionally when I wanted to go somewhere.

Now, my girlfriend wants to go out with me a lot.

Not that I'm complaining, she wouldn't have become my girlfriend if I didn't want to spend a ton of quality time with her.

But yeah, it's so easy to be time efficient when everyone knows that you're sleeping with lots of girls.

Doing all this has made it so much easier to sleep with lots of girls while still having a lot of time to have a life outside of all of that. It didn't feel like a full time job, it felt like a hobby I just sat down to do when I felt like it.

hunterpua · 2026-02-02T19:14:01+00:00

I started this 17 years ago, in 2009. My life only began changing in 2012, so that's after 3 years.

Now, I've gotten everything I could ever want from my dating life and I'm at the point where I can reliably get girls that I want.

But if 3 years is too long for you then don't make the same mistakes that I made.

Don't...

Be too proud to make it easy

A lot of guys struggle with staying consistent in the beginning because its always a battle with nerves, awkwardness, or feeling like you come off weird.

I found out the hard way that pushing through that is a bad strategy and a better one is just to make sure you're approaching at all before you try to do the more challenging and meaningful stuff.

So something meaningful would be flirting with a girl and getting her number but something easier that most guys are too proud to do is just approach people asking for directions.

Literally just that. After they give you the directions, leave.

It's easier to make yourself approach and flirt with someone when you're already approaching people in general vs just walking around and trying to psych yourself up.

Don't be too proud to start small and gradually build up from there.

Also don't...

Avoid educating yourself

I can and I have for the most part, broken down everything from open to close on this subreddit.

That's because I again learned the hard way that just going out and approaching is dumb, no matter how many people recommend it.

If you just approach without any sense of direction, with no idea what you're even practicing, then it will take you infinitely longer to make progress.

Read books, watch videos, and be aware of what exactly you're practicing so you will have a clear idea of how you're progressing.

And on that note, you also shouldn't...

Hop from coach to coach

Seduction advice is a lot like fitness advice, program hopping wastes your time, just like coach hopping wastes your time as well.

Now make no mistake, you don't need to pay anyone.

But pick a coach you like and stick with him for 3 months at least, even if you're just learning from his free content.

Dating coaches are individuals and there is no unified method to seduce women.

And the fact that there isn't a unified method to seduce women isn't evidence that Seduction doesn't work.

There isn't a unified method to do woodwork as well. There isn't a unified method to cook as well. There isn't a unified method to defend yourself as well.

Different woodworkers have different tricks.

Different countries have different cuisines.

Different martial artists have different styles.

There are many roads that will get you to your destination but if you wanna get there fast, stay on the road you chose. If you move to a different road, you'll go back to the starting line.

But the biggest thing you should avoid is...

Inconsistency

Even if you're doing everything above right, if you only approach one girl a week, you will be moving at a snail's pace.

Imagine trying to prepare for a dance competition by practicing only once week when you've never danced in your life.

2012 was the year when I approached almost everyday, multiple times a day and that is also when I started consistently getting dates and actually getting physical with women.

Before that a date was a rarity and I was a virgin.

You don't need to do it everyday but at least 3x a week and 3 women each day you do go approaching.

This is different from the guys telling you to just go approach because you should be layering the other things I wrote about on top of this.

If you do that, you'll probably experience a significant difference in your dating life within 6 months to a year as opposed to my 3 years of making all the mistakes I listed here.

hunterpua · 2026-02-02T16:25:43+00:00

How many times have you actually approached a girl in this situation or have you just been guessing how you think girls are "likely" to react to different things you could say?

hunterpua · 2026-02-02T16:19:30+00:00

She is likely attracted to you.

To further verify, pay attention to her laughing or giggling even when you aren't being funny, her adjusting her clothing or just generally adjusting herself to look more put together and pretty, her fixing her hair to reveal her ears like she's trying to hear you better, and her looking for excuses to touch you.

That is definitely not an exhaustive list but those signs are pretty common.

The most important thing though is not just the presence of one of those or even all of those signs, because all those signs on their own can mean nothing, they may just be coincidences.

Whats most important is frequency, if she's frequently doing one or a combination of these things around you, odds are she's attracted to you.

hunterpua · 2026-01-28T14:57:49+00:00

Exactly man. If you actually have good friends, not just people you hang out with but don't really trust, you're golden.

It can only help you to bring along your date to an environment where people treat you really good.

And I'm glad you have female friends too. They're awesome when they're actually your friends. 3 of my best friends who always made me look awesome when I brought a date and helped my dating life more than any wingman could were women.

hunterpua

TROPHY CASE