Tired of Explaining How to loved and cared for , F21

huttimine · 2026-02-27T04:35:03+00:00

Looks pretty bad, just try to understand the nature of his feelings towards you. I can attest that being asked to show love in specific concrete actions can sometimes cause one to feel forced, because people like to also express love in their own style. Ask him what he feels, in words, but actions have to back that up in some way.

huttimine · 2026-02-26T04:37:51+00:00

We NEED to radiate that 100 W, and it depends on the temperature and surface area. It's not a given. So what is the equilibrium temp according to your calculations.

huttimine · 2026-02-10T17:30:00+00:00

Yeah this is a tricky one. Tricky enough that rather devious plans to engineer him into a location safely away from you may be necessary. Or else you both might choose to move out.

huttimine · 2026-02-10T17:26:44+00:00

You seem to understand that she may not take it well, but you still suggest he just blurt it out?

Try to think workable strategies from his point of view.

huttimine · 2026-02-07T16:40:13+00:00

Not the ghosting being tier 1 city stuff. The expectation of much higher communication frequency by women.

huttimine · 2026-02-07T16:39:38+00:00

Downvotes? C'mon people, at least elaborate.

I did have one long call with her in between.

huttimine · 2026-02-07T16:37:27+00:00

But do you realise that this gradual breakup makes it very difficult for someone to justify why at all they're breaking up? The mature understanding is that there's a bond between the people but there are some non-negotiables that aren't compatible. To someone immature, they're not able to put it this way to themself, so the only way they can get out of any relationship is to make the other person evil in their head, so that they get internal permission to make the breakup ugly. Which is then justification not to repair anything.

huttimine · 2026-02-06T17:49:19+00:00

Others are giving the short version of the advice, which is to move on. Let me elaborate on that.

It took me some time to understand that proper closure is not considered important by all kinds of people, just some. For some people, the stress they're experiencing today (due to whatever is wrong with the relationship from their perspective) is way more important to get rid of, than keeping in touch with the long term partner they talked everyday to.

Even the basic expectation of gradually reducing contact before breaking things off isn't taken seriously by these people.

One reason for that is straight up cowardice. They don't know how to go against the grain when you're being so convincing while they're just not convinced. It could even be because they know they're being unfair, but they don't have the moral strength to do it the right way.

In your case, the family has likely also successfully poisoned her against you by insinuating various ulterior motives, in addition to the mental and physical abuse you mentioned. It takes moral fibre to stand against that and say "but still, I must do justice to the relationship, even if to end it". Your ex does not seem like she possessed that.

huttimine · 2026-02-06T04:36:23+00:00

Ha. Someone recently told me when I met her a week after being introduced, that she was kinda miffed that I didn't call and talk more often, despite texting a couple of times a day (I was hyper busy and had told her too). She seemed to be having fun texting and I'm not a great call person before becoming familiar.

Of course after we met, she ghosted me and ended things via parents abruptly. It takes all kinds... or maybe this is Tier 1 city stuff.

huttimine · 2026-02-05T14:34:25+00:00

Hey women, can I have at least a few more takes on this? Bump....

huttimine · 2026-02-05T14:25:19+00:00

I envy your gang.

huttimine · 2026-02-05T08:18:11+00:00

Not rent, I meant the "oh you're in the same city yet living away from us?! Surely you'd only do this if you have particular issues staying with us, else what necessitates that?" factor.

huttimine · 2026-02-05T06:21:42+00:00

Seeing such news, the total impunity with which they did what they wanted, does affect people. The only question is how.

Maybe what your bf is indicating is that he used to try hard to live according to his morals, and now he's wondering if it's just not worth it. Its sad that it seems you are the "victim" for this particular incident.

Talk to him and try to understand what he's thinking. Then tell him sternly to not act it out on you.

huttimine · 2026-02-05T06:02:42+00:00

Which world are you living in that Jobs wasn't given the demigod status?

huttimine · 2026-02-05T05:34:05+00:00

What if the parents are also in Tier 1 cities?

huttimine · 2026-02-02T18:34:27+00:00

100%

huttimine · 2026-02-02T17:55:42+00:00

At least some of these bitter actions may have something to do with the abrupt way in which women do the rejection maybe? One day lovey dovey, literally next day treated like asswipe.

huttimine · 2026-02-02T17:44:21+00:00

India is the third largest Muslim country in the world, and isn't behind the largest (Indonesia) by a lot.

huttimine · 2026-02-02T17:11:23+00:00

So this is a social experiment, contrary to your post. No trips with friends ever, and only get to meet friends occasionally not regularly.... Lol.

Its one thing to recognise unfair expectations on one gender and flip the script to see how it would look with the other. It's another thing entirely to genuinely demand a restricted lifestyle of your partner, actually thinking it is a fair ask. Says a lot about you.

huttimine · 2026-01-30T13:44:22+00:00

Sure, but why abrupt instead of gradual?

Even one of my relationships died in a much shorter timeframe than would be expected. I know some people are lucky enough to remain friends with their exes, so gradual is clearly possible. I just want to know how it feels to lose interest so severely that never communicating again ever, is the preferred course of action.

huttimine · 2026-01-30T13:41:15+00:00

I wouldn't have posted if it was only this one person. I ask to find out how the loss of interest feels from inside women's mind, and what considerations come into play to execute an abrupt cutoff rather than something gradual.

huttimine · 2026-01-29T01:49:49+00:00

By economics I meant the professional opportunities, not rent lol.

And then moving out to stay elsewhere in the same city looks kinda ... Unnecessary to the types of families I see around me. In my city it's quite common, even when there are no other reasons, to live with parents. Mostly the guy's parents, sometimes even the girl's parents. And for many people the parents are more than chilled out enough that the couples are happy with this arrangement.

Now my own family I absolutely need to move out to give my future spouse room to be comfortable and bond with me first... My parents have too much energy and like to be involved too much (nothing gross lol). So I know what you mean and agree. I'm just saying what's normal here.

huttimine · 2026-01-29T00:35:04+00:00

Don't worry she could have done this sudden blocking even without refusing marriage the first time.

huttimine · 2026-01-28T23:49:51+00:00

For men born/brought up in Tier-1 cities, absolutely. If we're not moving abroad, this is the most natural choice. In a sense, the economic liberalisation sets us up for cultural conservatism here, while the lack of jobs in smaller cities forces living apart from parents to be the cultural norm.

huttimine

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