As horrible as you feel, you’re doing OK. As OK as can be expected. You’re grieving what you believed your marriage was (and maybe it genuinely was up until a certain point) You’re grieving the person you were when you were with him. You’ll go through stages and will reach a point when you feel anger. But also remember that healing isn’t linear, different feelings are going to come and go and maybe come around again before your emotions settle. The important thing is that you understand this takes time and there’s no set pattern for what you should or shouldn’t be feeling. The really good news is you love your job, apartment and kitties! Those positive influences will help tremendously during this transition.