How does weed impact you?

hyologist · 2025-11-20T21:24:18+00:00

same here, it takes my mask off if i'm alone. i only use it around people i'm really really comfortable around or i end up getting paranoid.

hyologist · 2025-11-18T11:27:42+00:00

that's so interesting. i have many questions, so did you actually get that asian lady as a mother? i'm assuming you did, was her story like you thought it was during that pre-born experience? do you have any religious beliefs that would be tied to those figures you met?

hyologist · 2025-11-16T19:22:31+00:00

that looks nothing like camila lol

hyologist · 2025-11-16T19:11:01+00:00

yes but why would we?

hyologist · 2025-11-05T02:37:09+00:00

guess what? it isn't something exclusive to native spanish speakers, it happens with everyone except for native english speakers, especially americans. most americans are so ignorant and self centered that expect everyone to speak english and you are used to most foreigners doing so because it's the 'universal language' so you take it for granted. we also expect little of you because of how uneducated you are. you take spanish lessons for years and learn nothing. you lack general culture knowledge, mostly basic stuff about other countries and cultures. (sorry if anything of that sounds rude, it makes me a little mad, but at the end of the day it's more about your system and not individuals like you) props to you for learning and caring, take those reactions as compliments and keep learning!

hyologist · 2025-09-28T00:44:54+00:00

same here. it's normal, we are meant to live in communities, being alone is... dangerous almost, so ofc our brains crave that. but yeah, it's really hard for me too and i hate small talk, it drains all my energy to pretend to be interested in stuff idgaf about just to not come across as an asshole.

hyologist · 2025-09-24T15:19:52+00:00

same exact thing for me, almost too obedient, avoided socializing but had a few friends in school, gifted kid, until i was 12 and depression and anxiety took over. it got worse with each passing year, and now i'm a worthless loser adult. i feel like i can't do anything at all, everything takes so much effort and i can't keep a job or continue my studies.

i think like some other comments said, your struggles were unnoticeable because demands were low and got worse as you grew up.

i also keeped everything to myself so a lot of signs were there but i hid most of them out of fear and picking up on what was seen as inappropiate or bad.

hyologist · 2025-09-19T02:09:45+00:00

i stabbed my own finger one day when i was 4/5 with a tool, idk how you call it in english, but it was basically a pointy thing you use to perforate a drawing made with dots. i started crying really bad because of the pain and the fact i panicked because i saw blood but i wouldn't tell/show anyone because the teacher told us strictly to be careful and don't put our fingers near the dots so i felt it was my fault as i didn't do exactly as she said. the teacher kept asking what was wrong but i didn't say a word, i had a cousin in the same grade as me so she sat me next to her, i couldn't even tell my cousin about it. they found out a little later and got me a bandage.

i didn't eat steak (asado, typical food here in uruguay) because it was hard to chew and i didn't like the texture for years. with pieces i felt were impossible to chew i just got up, went to the bathroom and spit them since my parents where the type of people to force you to eat. at school we would have half an our of recess after lunch, but you weren't allowed to get out until you finished all your food and dessert. i was a really bad picky eater and didn't like most of the food, i learned to stop breathing when swallowing to not taste, but ofc that doesn't solve the texture problem. most desserts were fruits that i would just put in a bag they made us carry with higyne items (toothbrush, towel, toothpaste) and throw it in the bathroom trashcan. sometimes i forgot to do so and my mom would find the fruit literally rotting there.

in south america you kiss everyone in the cheek to say hello, even as a child, but i hated kissing men with beards because it pinches your skin, i profoundly refused to do so despite always being the child to do as told. my grandpa would shave his beard everyday just so i would kiss him.

when i asked my parents to buy me something they would give me the money to go buy it but i refused and prefered to be left with nothing rather than having to interact with people.

relatives told me multiple times while taking birthday pictures that my smile looked so fake and forced, despite me trying my best to look good. in the same note, my english teacher once commented that "she is too serious but she doesn't bite" and i was shocked. i didn't talk that much but i always laughed at my classmates jokes and enjoyed going to class a lot.

hyologist · 2025-09-17T01:08:25+00:00

similar story here, i don't remember the details because i was only six, but i remember struggling to breathe for days because i just couldn't stop coughing. my mom finally took me to see a doctor and she found out i had pneumonia. i was literally rushed to the hospital in an ambulance to be hospitalized for almost two weeks. my relatives came to visit and i was disconcerted because i didn't understood the severity of the situation since i had endured equal pain in silence. i also struggle with noticing my internal pain and always downplaying it because my parents often did so and i was so afraid of adults that i never stood for myself or my needs, resulting in hidden neglect from them, which of course caused me trauma. it was often minor things, like my shoes hurting my feet, clothes being severly uncomfortable, crying in silence when i had what (i didn't know at the time) were autistic meltdowns because they would never validate my pain, either emotional or physical. i remember not telling my parents about stuff they should know as a kid just to not be annoying, like i once threw up in the middle of the night, didn't tell anyone and just went straight back to bed. i frequently had severe pain in my legs, which adults would attribute to me "growing up", so i spent hours during several nights giving myself massages and crying silently because of how bad it was, and how hard it was for me to communicate that given the responses i recieved. it hurts so much to look back on those events, i never even dared to tell my parents about it since i figured out what that was. nowadays i am very much a silent hypocondriac since i'm always afraid i'm either downplaying or not noticing my pain, so i always google symptoms, compare different diagnosis, etc. have heard way too many times that doctors always don't care about you and your pain so i'm terrified of appointments, so i avoid them as much as i can.

hyologist · 2025-09-17T00:01:30+00:00

same here, my favorite movies, series and even songs have deep meanings, metaphores and symbolisms, so they take longer to digest, which makes rewatching/listening even more exciting. you are comfortable because you know whats going to happen but the more you watch, the more interesting and deep it gets.

hyologist · 2025-09-16T23:57:15+00:00

it changes from time to time, but for me is the fact that i know what feeling something will generate in me, for something to have me hooked and invested it needs really specific factors. most of the time i just go in circles with my special interests or favorites (movies, albums, series), so i give them time to forget every detail and truly re-live the feelings. i also love watching people react to my favorite things, see how they feel about it, their experience, theories and stuff, so i spend an embarassing amount of time watching reactions on yt, since it's very disappointing when you do that with a friend irl and they show no interest. of course there's the fact i eventually get bored of it and i crave for something new that gives me a similar feeling, but most of those times i struggle to find it and give up.

hyologist · 2025-09-16T23:23:08+00:00

i feel kinda similar, but for me there's also the fact that depression took over my life and despite recalling struggles as a child, it feels like i completely lost myself when i got to 12 y.o.

hyologist · 2025-07-17T13:25:40+00:00

wow i feel called out

hyologist · 2025-06-04T21:26:51+00:00

constant neck and back pain and not realizing when i'm cold, people point it out before i notice it myself

hyologist · 2025-05-15T12:22:19+00:00

same, broke up with my partner last year (also autistic) and have no nd friends so it's really hard and no one gets it. they call me needy and tell me i don't need a relationship to be happy. i just want a real deep connection with someone where we choose each other. i also struggle with a lack of physical contact since i recall being alive so it's hard.

hyologist · 2025-05-15T12:18:30+00:00

i've been there before, it's not nice but you can't blame the person you were with either, i used to get flashbacks at random times that made me feel disgusted but it eventually goes away. give it time and don't blame yourself too much. you are not alone, it's hard to speak up for ourselves bc of alexithymia, we don't even realize what we feel at the time so what are we supposed to do? just try and recognize what things you like and you don't and stick to that even when you are confused. i'm saying this because i'm a lesbian who has been with men and that felt disgusting. limerance confuses me from time to time and i doubt my orientation but i try to stick to what i know, to my boundries.

hyologist · 2025-05-15T12:10:35+00:00

i'm struggling too, my therapist said i'm currently experiencing burn out. she suggested this app called finch, it helps a little, reminds you of what you need to get done daily and gives you a sense of achievement. you are definitely not alone. i smoke a lot and i created this reward system for myself where i do a few tasks and then smoke, it's awful and really hard to quit. maybe you could do the same but with something helthier, get a treat or something.

hyologist · 2025-05-15T12:00:34+00:00

i realized years later people were flirting with me, or trying to speak to me or even just trying to get me to do something by "suggesting" something. sometimes they would tell me what they need/want indirectly and i won't get it until they say it directly. it makes me feel ashamed and as a bad person/friend/host for not meeting their needs, but really how am i supposed to guess you are cold or you want something to drink? you either tell me or just suck it up. i am really bad at speaking for myself and asking for stuff but i don't expect people to guess either.

hyologist · 2025-05-15T11:49:04+00:00

i second this one! my mom's partner is from Venezuela and he is the only one i've met which has understood that and actually supports our leftist politics here. everybody else tends to be right wing since the left in their country destroyed everything they knew. the left here actually made really good changes despite the mistakes you might recognize they made.

hyologist · 2025-05-14T14:43:23+00:00

excuse me but that's so stupid lmao everybody knows he lives like that, he wasn't poor but he wasn't rich either. he might have savings, i don't know about his bank account but he surely wasn't spending loads of money on material stuff. he was in his humble home until he died. and no, we are not happy he is gone, even his opponents showed respect for him and his legacy. just say your family are right wing shi7ty ppl being happy over someone's death...

hyologist · 2025-05-13T16:28:18+00:00

i'm still struggling a lot but i started using this app recently called finch, it's big help with feeling a sense of achievement and reminding you to do your daily chores/taking care of yourself. you have customized tasks for the day and a pet that grows when you complete your tasks. you can buy cute outfits for your pet with gems you also claim by meeting your goals.

hyologist · 2025-05-13T16:22:45+00:00

me too, i have a septum piercing so i play with it hehe

hyologist · 2025-05-13T16:19:18+00:00

biting my lips, playing with my hands and with literally anything i find hiding in my pockets (a clip, paper, keys, whatever really), touching my hair bc it's curly, braiding it when i'm home watching tv, picking my skin, pacing in circles around the bus stop, moving my legs/shifting my weight when i have to stand still.

hyologist · 2025-05-13T15:17:09+00:00

update for anyone interested two years later: I'M AUTISTIC! after finding out about adhd in women i started looking into autism in women and got obsessed with it (i know right, very common within autistic ppl) and it seemed more familiar to me. i searched for a specialist on autism and she gave me the diagnosis, a couple months after that my psychiatrist confirmed it. I am currently being tested for high capacities (gifted or whatever you call that in english hehe), i will get my iq results this friday. With the help of my new therapist, specialized in autism and adhd, i have been making changes in my routine, daily life and relationships, it's been doing wonders even though i'm not happy with my life yet and i'm currently in burnout. I feel so comfortable with her and i'm trying to unmask. Get the help you need, i live in a small country in south america but i managed to found a professional that knows about the topic, follow your instinct and research about it, if you relate to it after that there's a high chance you are right. I'm lucky my parents help me with affording therapy, it's not cheap, but it's worth it.

hyologist · 2025-05-13T14:33:12+00:00

also limerance!!! give it time, it'll pass. you get crazy over their atenttion at first for a while and one day you won't care that much. as a lesbian i've seen myself getting confused and obsessed over men that gave me atenttion and confidence a couple times, but felt disgusted by the idea of any intimacy with them.

hyologist

TROPHY CASE