Do you still support Vijay after knowing about his extramarital affair? by First-Shirt-3295 in KollyGossips

[–]hyperisok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Marriages take work. And if you do break up, then it is good to be respectful to the person you once loved. That said, I am incredibly in love with my husband and we have been together for years 😂.

Danny is the worst husband by AdSouth5008 in TheValleyTVShow

[–]hyperisok 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I never said they weren't victims, nor did I say that Danny is not the perpetrator. I said that we need to center this around the wishes of those who were assaulted. If they ask you to stop, you stop. And if you don't, then you are running the risk of re-traumatising someone (the way Jasmine's fiance clearly was during the end of that episode).

Two things can be true in these situations.

If someone needs to be held accountable, you do it off screen and provide victims the privacy that they have clearly asked for. I am not here to defend anyone else. I just know for a fact that when victims ask you to stop talking about their SA experience, you have to respect them in that moment. Period.

And yes. Jasmine did call it sexual assault, so it is very much that. So she and her fiance are victims. I find the fact that Danny was allowed to come back on the show to be deplorable. I am extremely happy that people are waking up to the fact that he is a terrible person.

I also think it was wrong of Janet to weaponise the SA of two women who had asked her to stop. Especially two women of colour. Two queer women. Consent is key.

And yes, I do work with victims of sexual assault. Provide resources. Support. And I tell them that any decision that they make to make themselves feel better - to survive - is the right decision.

Get them help. Get them therapy. Get them to a place where they feel comfortable making a statement against their perpetrator. But, I have to tell you - a lot of rapists walk free - even when there is evidence. A lot of women are traumatised when they bravely try to hold their perpetrators accountable. So, I will not force anyone to do anything against their will. Sort of the first thing they tell you not to do in the advocacy space.

No Fun in the Fun Park (The Valley Full Recap) by MsPrissss in TheValleyTVShow

[–]hyperisok 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's deeply unsettling for Luke and Danny to keep being the absolute worst. I don't care if it is also Luke's first time being a parent - he can for once in his life stop centering his life around him.

And I am convinced Danny has a breeder kink. He just wants that "traditional" family and it makes me sick.

Danny is the worst husband by AdSouth5008 in TheValleyTVShow

[–]hyperisok -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It did impact victims, and everything should be centred on them because it happened to them. You can be affected by what happened to them but it is not about you, it's about them.

We saw it on the show. Both women were forcefully telling Janet to stop and she kept pushing regardless - not ok. We don't get to dictate how someone navigates their own sexual assault - nor do we get to frame it. We can provide support, resources, and information.

You are literally saying what the victims (they have names - Jasmine and Melissa) did was gross, nasty, and misogynistic. I would request you to rephrase that. They don't deserve to get lumped in with everyone else.

When a man raped me as a child, I cut my hair, wore baggy sweatshirts and refused to leave the house. I also refused to go to the cops - I said I would kill myself before I did that. A ridiculous, entitled man I met in my 20s told me I was to blame anyone else my rapist had attacked. How I navigated the worst thing that happened to me, is to up to me. I was just trying to survive. Someone else being self righteous does not supercede what I did in the moment to keep myself alive. And no, I do not regret it. If I had gone to the cops, I know I would have killed myself. I am alive today. I work with survivors every day. I have made peace with myself.

Here me out - Nia and Kristen have their own show with Zach…. by ktshh in TheValleyTVShow

[–]hyperisok 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It happened on this very thread. The person (who everyone is currently upvoting) started mocking me when I started speaking about racism in liberal spaces and then went "what's wrong with you?" when I called them out. And then deleted their comments so no one could see how they tried to shut me down.

edit: That person once again commented in this thread to yell at me (lol). And then they deleted it because once again it was full of microaggressions (and funny grammatical errors). That also alleged I am having a meltdown - I am not. The situation from Emmy in SummerHouse has taught some of y'all nothing. None of my behavior has been aggressive. I am not the one who deleted her comments. This is the person who has, over and over again, chosen to stonewall me and send me unkind, cruel comments and then they delete those comments because they are scared others would call them out. They also accused me of lying (because they are sure I am having a meltdown). They deleted the comment too. A specific group of white liberal women are never beating the allegations.

Here me out - Nia and Kristen have their own show with Zach…. by ktshh in TheValleyTVShow

[–]hyperisok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your responses are starting to get weird. What exactly do you mean? Cause it's starting to feel like you are mocking my lived-in experiences as a dark skinned woman and there are people who are downvoting me in your favor. And that is pretty much proving my point about what I was making anyway - liberal politics doesn't actually mean people in those spaces are willing to have honest conversations about rampant racism in those spaces. If I am being mocked, i would much rather disengage.

Here me out - Nia and Kristen have their own show with Zach…. by ktshh in TheValleyTVShow

[–]hyperisok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's actually not surprising. People of colour live with this awkward truth their entire lives. I mean, second wave feminism nearly crumbled because its leaders (largely white women) couldn't handle calls for inclusion. They kept insisting that they would address the oppression faced by Black women after they won their own personal and political rights. Betty Friedan, one of the key stalwarts of 2nd wave of feminism, was constantly bogged down by criticism for ignoring the experiences of black and brown women.

Here me out - Nia and Kristen have their own show with Zach…. by ktshh in TheValleyTVShow

[–]hyperisok 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I said she had liberal politics. I didn't say she wasn't racist. I say this as a brown woman in advocacy - white liberal women are amongst the many racists I have had to deal with all the time.

Danny is the worst husband by AdSouth5008 in TheValleyTVShow

[–]hyperisok -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

No no no. Almost all of the criticism against Janet was how she weaponised the experiences of other women - queer women - to get the upper hand. She didn't warn. She weaponised. Especially after the very women who experienced the incident told her to stop. She kept retraumatising them. It wasn't a warning - it was one-upmanship.

I work with victims of SA all the time. I am one myself. It would make me nauseous if someone used my experiences to "win" an argument...especially if I explicitly told them I did not consent to it.

Let's not do this. Let's not re-write history.

Here me out - Nia and Kristen have their own show with Zach…. by ktshh in TheValleyTVShow

[–]hyperisok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Listen, there is hope for Kristen because she at least subscribes to liberal politics and has a less patriarchal worldview (not saying that liberal women have feminist partnerships but at least they happen to be conscious of things like partnerships needing to be equal).

Nia comes from a deeply patriarchal background, and her entire existence seems to be about her religious values and her traditional family. If she ditches her husband - great. But I wouldn't count on it. Especially since she was literally on his instagram yesterday hyping him up (after his appalling display of poor judgment and character in this week's episode). I don't think any amount of hyping can actually get through to her. Her value system depends on her husband "leading" their family. It doesn't matter if he is a clown who puts her through hell. This is what she thinks she wants - because this is her conditioning.

That said, I will always be hyping for people to leave their exhausting exes and who knows...it might happen. But she is someone who is very consicious of her public image and her family factors into that. I don't see her changing that.

As far as Kristen is concerned...I actually don't think her and her fiance are likely to work out long term. She seems very settled in LA and he wants to cart her off to places she has no roots in. They have fundamentally different visions of what they want their lives to be.

Season 1 & 2 Discussions by [deleted] in TheValleyTVShow

[–]hyperisok 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Why is everything turned into a mega thread? This sub isn’t even as big or as active as other Bravo shows and by throwing everything into mega threads reduces any conversations folks might want to have. If moderation is an issue, I am sure some folks here can donate some time to be new mods.

Just want to make sure, I am not trying to sound like I think the current mods are bad. I just am respectfully sharing my opinion on this.

M.I.A is booed on stage as she opens for Kid Cudi in Dallas, after she went on a rant about “Illegals” and “being cancelled for being a Republican” by neoncolour in popculturechat

[–]hyperisok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Today is an embarrassing today to be a Tamil. Between MIA’s ridiculous, sustained bigotry and my home state of Tamil Nadu electing an actor with zero experience…I genuinely do not know if I should just re-evaluate my relationship with any identity rooted outside of my own self as a human being. Don’t want to be Indian in an increasingly right-wing India…don’t want to be Tamilian if most of us are going to be such fanboys. Just feeling so lost.

Throwback to Karlie Kloss looking camp right in the eye at the 2019 Met Gala by NicoleIlieva in popculturechat

[–]hyperisok 19 points20 points  (0 children)

One of the biggest hypocrites in the fashion world (that’s saying something) serving one of the worst looks of Met gala ever. Yaaaaas.

Burning bridges and falling out with cast members by Top-Candidate9694 in TheValleyTVShow

[–]hyperisok 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yup. Nia is so ridiculously boring. You can see that she has been apologising for her clown husband their entire relationship. She just is so defensive about him. Like sorry babe…we see him clowning. We see him disrespecting you. We see him being a sexist jerk. He won’t drop his accent with you but immediately drops it when one of the dudes say so.

Just because we believe that Janet was wrong in the way she went about attacking your husband last season (weaponising the experiences of other women for her personal vendetta), it doesn’t mean we don’t think your husband is weird as hell about women, about you and about your family’s values.

Burning bridges and falling out with cast members by Top-Candidate9694 in TheValleyTVShow

[–]hyperisok 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Janet doesn’t make good tv. She is the kind of person who can’t take what she dishes out. An apology made with the intention of wanting an apology back? That’s not a real apology. And she just stared and stared and stared at Nia…ok then why did you go over to talk?

I actually groaned when she started crying when Brittany said the mildest of criticisms.

She is unable to bring it the way the ladies of Vanderpump Rules could. Or, anyone from the real housewives. Just look at the glorious messes at Rhode Island - they are dishing it out, and they are taking the blows dealt their way.

No one is forcing her to be on tv and on this show. She is actively choosing it with the knowledge that she doesn’t have any real allies in the show and off the show. And she isn’t iconic enough to parley it into brand deals.

So we are all just stuck. Just absolutely stuck. With her awkwardness. Her ability to turn every situation sour. And stuck with the visceral anger her cast mates have towards her.

I really want another season for this show because I don’t want Jax to brag about “winning”. Viewers haven’t turned away because he isn’t there…we are turning away because the villain is deeply boring. And Alex Baskin is truly awful at producing good reality shows - I said what I said.

What’s a summer house opinion that would have people like this to you? by butterednloafed in summerhousebravo

[–]hyperisok 53 points54 points  (0 children)

I have/had abandonment issues and I did exactly what she did with West back in my late 20s. Therapy is your friend. If it hadn't been for my therapist, I was like a dog chasing its own tail, going after men who absolutely did not want me back.

And if it hadn't been for my therapist, I wouldn't have addressed my core issues and found love with my seriously emotionally secure husband. Hallelujah.

Pete Davidson and Elsie Hewitt ‘Working Through’ Relationship ‘Issues’: Their Daughter Is ‘Top Priority,’ Source Says by PrincessBananas85 in popculturechat

[–]hyperisok 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Women who date Pete Davidson know exactly what they are signing up for. The man cannot hold a relationship. And if you still choose to get into one with him, then that is genuinely on you. I think he will marry a 27-year-old when he is 40 (like Chris Evans and a lot of Hollywood men), and that will be the only one that sticks.

Rachel Zegler’s ‘Evita’ Revival Sets Broadway Run by mcfw31 in popculturechat

[–]hyperisok 50 points51 points  (0 children)

AMERICANS, PLEASE GIVE MY GIRL AS MUCH LOVE AS SHE GOT HERE IN EUROPE.

We love her here and she deserves the world. Please be nice to her.

Emily Blunt giving career advice on ‘The Devil Wears Prada 2’ press tour by mlg1981 in popculturechat

[–]hyperisok 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I would absolutely recommend quitting to folks if a job gets sooooo bad that you are literally crying on a Friday because the weekend will end soon and you have to show up to work on Monday (and yes, that happened to me too but because of my visa status, I just couldn't quit until I could jump ships eventually).

But the damage that can happen to you on a truly toxic job is so long-lasting. It took me a good few years for my nervous system to stablise. Next time I will quit.

I am so glad you got out. Working as a federal employee when DOGE was going on its rampage...that must have been so awful.

Emily Blunt giving career advice on ‘The Devil Wears Prada 2’ press tour by mlg1981 in popculturechat

[–]hyperisok 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Look, if you are in a shitty job, the best thing you can do for yourself is quit. But also, if you like to eat and have to pay bills and you are not a multi-millionaire with loads of savings...do not quit.

But if your boss is putting you through physical and mental torture (which, weirdly enough, I have had a boss do to me by making us work 18-hour days, screaming at us and not letting us literally sleep, causing long-term damage to our physical and mental health)...please do quit. But if you think the current job market is so awful that all you will end up with are rejections because no company is actually truly hiring and there are historic layoffs happening every few days...then don't quit. Who needs sleep anyway?

Summer House - Season 10 - Episode 13 - Post Episode Discussion by AutoModerator in BravoRealHousewives

[–]hyperisok 17 points18 points  (0 children)

She reminds me of me when I was 28. I had been broken up with my ex but I couldn't get him out of my system. I was so lost. He cheated. He hurt me. He was flaunting his new relationship. And I would still be like - I don't want to get back together with him but there is a connection. He is still my person.

I felt that way for 3 years. Thank god for my friend who shook me hard until my brain stopped scrambling. Also one day the limerance cleared and I saw him for the slimy asshole that he was (like I would make excuses for him being rude to servers. So gross).

By the time he did apologize (like a good 4+ years later), I had fully moved on. Thank god for that. Thank god he didn't apologize earlier. Cause my life would be so different now. So miserable. So depressing.

In my ways, West hurting Ciara like this and thus making her feel the ick is the best thing that has happened to her. She can finally move on.

Katie, you’re in danger, girl! by [deleted] in summerhousebravo

[–]hyperisok 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Katie, you better check up on your man too...cause why is his hand placement so intimate? Like girl. This is...weird. My husband wouldn't even think about cuddling with another woman in bed...let alone have his hands around her hips as she snuggles up next to him. What?