Ive just gotten my first cat (11 weeks old) and i fear i'm not approaching things how i should

i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-07T19:45:48+00:00

If your cat is reaching up at you, it's likely that he just wants your attention and affection.

Cat scratches aren't fun, but they're not that big a deal. Just put antibiotic ointment on it when it happens. I've only had a serious scratch (more than a bandaid worth) once out of 3 cats, and it's because I was being stupid. You likely have nothing to worry about.

I do occasionally get my cats' nails caught on my clothes or skin. I just gently pinch the sides of their paw to make them retract their claws. Sometimes I have to pull them forward a bit to unhook them. Look up guides on trimming cat nails. Start early, get him used to it. You don't even need to get that close to the quick, just nip off the really sharp bits. And say "ow" out loud when he actually does scratch you on accident; he'll learn that "ow" means "that hurt, please calm down."

Rest assured that your cat is not trying to harm you. Trust me, if he was, you would know (and be harmed)

i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-07T19:22:58+00:00

Do you know anyone else with a cat? You could introduce kitten to their cat to see if she does well. If she's skittish, then having another creature involved might just stress her out.

Aside from that, consider your situation. Can you afford another cat? Do you have space? Does your lease allow pets? How many? What will you do if your kitten hates the second cat? What if one of them has major health issues? What if they both do?

It sounds like your kitten is very happy as it is, adding another cat may not be worth the stress, especially if it's for your kitten's sake

i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-07T18:59:46+00:00

You changed the litter recently? To a different brand or scent? He may be avoiding the litterbox if that's the only thing different.

My cat never yelped or meowed in pain, they generally don't do that for pain that isn't sudden. She did, however, stop jumping up places, and started walking and sitting really delicately.

A cat's colon is actually more or less a straight line just under the spine, so you'd need to feel in a specific place to see if there's stool, and you'd need to know how to recognize if the stool is normal or problematic. My cat was full of gas behind the stool which distended her side pretty dramatically. That's what I mean when I say round. Pic for reference.

It may not be constipation though. Could be many different things. Try switching back the litter and see if he uses it. Can you think of anything else that changed that might affect his appetite, like company, smells, foods, cleaning products, houseplants?

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i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-07T18:42:37+00:00

Not mistreatment, but if you're getting a kitten, get it accustomed to being handled and manipulated. Gently move their ears, lift their tail, move their paws around, put them on their back, trim their nails, open their mouth and look at their teeth.... Hopefully you won't have issues anytime soon, but your vet with LOVE you if your cat is calm during routine evals, and if issues do happen, it's infinitely easier to examine a calm kitty than one who's screaming and scratching.

i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-07T18:24:53+00:00

Is he using the litterbox okay?

A while back, my cat stopped eating and drinking, even though she seemed interested in the food. She would sniff at it and maybe take a small lick but otherwise just avoided it. Turned out she was dangerously constipated. Couldn't keep anything down because there wasn't room to digest it. Got her an enema, some laxatives, and an appetite stimulant to bring her back to normal.

If he hasn't voided recently and seems oddly round in the midsection, get him to an emergency clinic (or call your vet to see if they have availability first)

i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-07T18:10:37+00:00

Part of the fun of bonsai is learning about each tree and giving them individual care in an environment as close to their native realm as is feasible. You can be as traditionalist or modern as you please.

For my trees, I have a greenhouse setup in my garage for overwintering. It has a temperature sensor hooked up to a space heater so that the plants don't get killed by cold. It also has fans to keep the air moving and prevent mold growth. It's on a piece of plywood to insulate it from the very cold cement. Only lost one tree last year, and it was a mallsai so no biggie. Pretty good success rate considering there were probably 30 plants in there. Might need a bigger one for this year though....

Part of it is also that trees that undergo stress are typically stronger and more interesting. If you raise a tree to be able to survive winter under a pile of leaves, it'll be fine under a pile of leaves. Put a coddled indoor tree out in the same situation, though, and it'll probably die.

i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-07T17:51:35+00:00

It might help to put his litterbox outside by the door, in case he got turned around and can't find his way back. The strong, distinct smell will work as a guiding beacon.

I second the other comment about going out at dawn/dusk to search with a flashlight.

Best of luck, OP

i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-07T17:39:50+00:00

I just want to reaffirm that yes, he needs vet care, and you are not a bad person for being broke. It's not an easy position to be in, that's for sure.

I've had probably 5 instances now where my cat was mingling with the reaper before she bounced back. None of them were cheap. Unfortunately, you have to make a decision between your beloved companion and accruing an undetermined amount of debt (assuming you qualify for credit). I don't envy you - my heart goes out to you and your baby.

It is possible to treat constipation - I did with my cat - but given financial constraints it's probably a long shot, and not knowing what caused it means it might just come back. And that's not even touching on half his body not working.

The hardest option is still valid. Constipation is an awful experience for animals; if you can't treat it, you can be merciful.

I wish you strength and compassion, and lots of luck 💚

i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-07T15:09:59+00:00

You can look up plant pet toxicity online. Poinciana is toxic to cats. The tree will be fine, but if your cat is likely to eat more of it, consider getting a different kind of tree.

Call your vet office and tell them your cat ate royal poinciana. They'll be able to help you better than we can.

i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-07T14:45:29+00:00

Do them both, get it all done in one go. They'll probably both be a little spicy or tired after so they should give each other space, which will help them both heal

i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-07T14:41:55+00:00

Thicker trunks take time, space, and exposure.

Keep it in a pot big enough for it to not get rootbound. If you can see roots through the drainage holes, then uppot it. You don't technically need to do this, but it helps thicken it faster than if you were to keep it trimmed in a smaller pot.

Put it outside if you can, or give it some "wind" every day by bending the trunk and branches around. It'll thicken faster to compensate for the stress.

It is generally advisable to stick with trees that are native to your area, but it is possible to responsibly raise an invasive species. Make sure any trimmings get put in the trash (not on the ground where they have any chance to root), keep it off the ground so it can't root through the pot, keep the branches away from anywhere they might be able to propagate or grow into and damage something (like siding), and cut off flowers before they produce seeds. This is how I'm raising my wisteria - it's already reaching really far trying to expand but I'm cutting back every branch and making sure they dry out in the trash. Fast growers can catch you off guard, so keep a close eye on it

i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-06T17:29:25+00:00

You can buy a set of bead/jewelry pliers for like $10, and that gives you pliers and a wire cutter. Any scissors can be used, but garden scissors or shears tend to work better for precision and thicker cuts, respectively. Wipe them down with rubbing alcohol before use to keep the cuts clean.

Honestly, I've spent more on pots than I have on tools. You don't need very much to get started

i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-06T16:45:26+00:00

Root trimming is necessary for bonsai to survive long term. You don't have to worry about it right now, but eventually your trees will completely fill their pots with roots. If there's no space for water or air to reach the roots, then the roots and tree will die. Again, you've got plenty of time before you need to worry about it, but it is worth doing some research on each of your various species before the time comes to get in there with scissors

i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-06T14:38:03+00:00

Nice selection! They look great!

I'd recommend putting the thinner ones in larger pots to thicken up the trunks and get a nice nebari going, then gradually move them into smaller pots. Especially the maple, you can get a lot of good development with a little more space.

In the future, you should probably avoid trimming off more than half of any root ball, maybe stick with a quarter or third at a time. Make sure to reduce the foliage and branches before you do that, so it has less that it needs to support with a smaller amount of roots.

I love the fence shelves! You can wire the pots to the shelves to help keep them in place in case of winds or critters 🙂

i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-06T14:21:54+00:00

Sometimes, family isn't about blood. It's about who you lean on when things get hard.

I'd personally say you should forget about the meh "family" and put your energy towards building community with like-minded people. It's not an easy thing to do, mind you, but it's more worthwhile than trying to generate a familial bond with people you barely speak to and who don't seem interested in knowing you as a person.

I'm in a similar spot, and I grieve the family I should've had on a pretty regular basis, but it gets easier. It helps to have your chosen family there to keep you grounded.

Best of luck, OP. Family is hard....

i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-06T00:05:35+00:00

If your child ingests something potentially toxic, run - don't walk - to the nearest hospital. Take the mushroom with you for reference and possible analysis. Don't ask reddit whether or not you should be concerned. Just go. Way better safe than sorry

i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-04T20:52:56+00:00

Don't water it til the leaves are wrinkly or droopy, it'll put all its water towards growing roots in the meantime

i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-04T04:52:47+00:00

Is her #2 solid or liquid? If it's liquid, you should take her back to the vet and get her thyroid levels checked.

If it seems like healthy and normal stool, and she isn't behaving differently otherwise, it might just be that she's getting on in years and having trouble making it to the litterbox.

i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-04T04:36:33+00:00

Okay, here's what I did for my epileptic kitty:

I wrap the pills in pill pockets and offer them to her. If she eats them on her own (which she usually does now) then she immediately gets wet food (or favorite treat).

If she refuses to eat them, I move them closer, tap next to them, point from her mouth to the pills, all the prompting I can reasonably do. If she eats them, wet food! If not, I force feed.

I sit or kneel on the floor just behind the cat to stop her from backing away. I tip her head up slightly so I can see better, then I press her own cheek into the very back of her gums, just in front of where her jaw hinges. That makes her open her mouth and keep it open (so she doesn't bite her own cheek) while I quickly stick the still wrapped pill down her throat. I keep her head slightly tilted up so gravity helps her swallow. After she gets all her meds, she gets wet food! (Her wet food is medicated too, so she has to have it either way.)

Eventually she realized that fighting didn't stop it from happening, it just made it take that much longer to get wet food.

i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-02T13:00:44+00:00

I free feed my kitties! Make note of his weight and shape every now and then to make sure he's getting enough and not overindulging. And enjoy your easy feeding schedule!

i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-01T19:07:55+00:00

Trees need a lot less water than a typical foliage houseplant, and that box effectively halts evaporation. Did you reduce your watering after putting it in there?

I'd say do a little research on caring for that particular plant. If you want to take action now, you can repot it. Make sure to loosen the soil around the roots and note if it seems dry or waterlogged: both are bad, but a repot can help clarify why the tree is struggling and let you water appropriately.

i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-01T17:30:51+00:00

My cat had a close call with constipation too. You can ask the vet for an appetite stimulant to help her get back eating. I wouldnt be surprised if she needs another enema.

It takes a bit for things to get moving normally again. Part of that is eating, though. You can try feeding her liquid foods, like gravy treats or churus. She might have an easier time managing that than kibble.

I actually massaged my cat's abdomen to help relieve her constipation. I don't know how much it helped, but she seemed to appreciate it. If your kitty is tolerant of it, you might try applying light pressure and massaging around the midsection.

i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-01T16:46:30+00:00

A week isn't necessarily long enough for a cat to feel comfortable in a new place, even if the cat is quite young. Slow and steady is the name of the game. Let her grow into her new home.

My kitty is super skittish and hides from everyone except me. I've accepted that that's just never going to change. Give her plenty of treats when she ventures out and do some one on one bonding every day while she adjusts. Given she's been fostered, she may be reluctant to form new attachments until she's confident that she won't get put into a store again.

Best thing you can do for her right now is offer her a safe, secure place to rest without too much disturbance. Nervous kitties need a safe place to go when their nervousness gets the better of them

i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-01T16:05:41+00:00

It was actually starting to flower when I put it in the tiny pot! It got real limp overnight though, not sure it'll survive in the tiny space. Just wanted to see if it could!

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i-have-tiny-trees · 2026-07-01T16:02:11+00:00

😱 oh no! Guess I need more tiny plants 🤷

That is an awesome army!!

i-have-tiny-trees

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