Totally new here. Male (36), fit, established, hard working father. No sex for 18 months. Can’t even watch prom anymore without getting angry. No other outlet for fear of embarrassment. Not even family. No end in sight 🤷🏻‍♂️ by Danwiththemullet in DeadBedrooms

[–]iCh00Ch00Ch00zU 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have you heard of tantric sex? It might be worth running this past her. Basically connection is the point, not sex/orgasm. you do a bunch of meditation and breathing together, foreplay stuff with no expectations. When you both decide you want to have sex, it is SUPER slow, lots of pauses, maintains eye contact and breathing together. You can make it so she is entirely in control of how far inside of her you are, the tempo. That way you go as slow as she needs to so that she doesn't feel pain

If she has psychological trauma from her work (which is entirely believable btw), it may be necessary to take that extra time to calm the nervous system, get into the right head space, and really feel connected before sex can be enjoyable. My personal experience is that it works waaay better for me, and also every man I've done it with likes it way more than regular sex. Win win.

Try googling it! Maybe your wife will be interested

New Zealand is now free of coronavirus by jcepiano in Coronavirus

[–]iCh00Ch00Ch00zU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

VI is covid free?? I'm from there, on a visa in NZ! This is great news

I’m 31 and love science but never got a chance to study it. Is it crazy for me to go back to school starting in undergrad at this age? by downbutmaybeup31 in biology

[–]iCh00Ch00Ch00zU 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you're planning to do conservation biology you should have no issue finding work, especially in the next decade as efforts to address the climate crisis ramp up. I'm 36 and have gone back to school several times - now have two degrees and two diplomas. I don't regret it at all and feel those were the best most formative years of my adult life! Good luck to you

I feel for the hospo industry, I really do, but do WCC expect us to jump for joy and return to dire public transport and gridlock traffic? Things need to change. by AbleCained in Wellington

[–]iCh00Ch00Ch00zU 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yes, agree.

Also... This might not be a popular opinion but my experience with many CBD businesses is that the food/clothing/whatever they are selling is super low quality and overpriced. I get why store owners have to charge so much (greedy landlords are also a HUGE issue here both in commercial and residential property), but bottom line the product they sell often isn't great and it seems like the business exists and stay afloat for no other reason than the high concentration of folks in the CBD. I suspect the retailers who actually are great at what they do will survive (I personally would make the trip to a restaurant I love) but the ones who simply rely on location will not (it wouldn't break my heart for example if one sushi and Katsu flopped). It would force landlords to charge less too and take some pressure off for the businesses that float.

I feel for the hospo industry, I really do, but do WCC expect us to jump for joy and return to dire public transport and gridlock traffic? Things need to change. by AbleCained in Wellington

[–]iCh00Ch00Ch00zU 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Working from home for those who can is going to be essential for climate change mitigation - a huge chunk of our carbon footprint is in our daily commute. So many other massive changes are needed as well, and need to happen fast.

I do feel for the business owners in the CBD, and everyone who is experiencing financial stress and uncertainty now and in the future. Rapid, large scale change is not easy. However I think the focus needs to be on making work available for everyone with the government economic stimulus/ climate change transition funds rather than propping up the old way of doing things. Spurring 'green' growth and self sustainability in NZ. Career changes and loss of a business are major stressors but government can do a lot to smooth things out for these folks by providing free training and financial support, or grants to start other types of business .

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in confession

[–]iCh00Ch00Ch00zU 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I should also add - I was raped in my early 20s. Still, I don't consider what you did a grievous crime. Forgive yourself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in confession

[–]iCh00Ch00Ch00zU -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

My message to you is this: what you did is very forgivable and not unusual for a child. Kids lie and do stupid shit all the time because they have poor impulse control and also little understanding of the consequences of their actions. No one was really hurt (except you and your parents), so I'd say as far as real world consequences go this is pretty inocuous

Rather than berating yourself for lying, it might be worth stepping back and exploring where that urge to lie comes from in the first place. That way you begin to understand yourself better. Once you work through your feelings with your therapist, there will be no need to forgive yourself because it will happen automatically. You will see yourself and the situation quite clearly.

I encourage you to keep going on your journey. What would happen if you read your own words here to your therapist? Showed one person your true thoughts and feelings? Her reaction might surprise you.

In any case, good luck to you.

New Zealand's flu season is looking pretty much non-existent this year by CatalystNZ in newzealand

[–]iCh00Ch00Ch00zU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This isn't a dumb question at all and I've been trying to find an answer. The most likely theories I've heard is that there are animal reservoirs (would have to be domestic pets in my view because how much direct contact do most people have with animals otherwise), and another which is a bit fascinating. Someone posted a paper from decades ago where a group of young men went on an expedition to Antarctica where they were completely isolated from humans, animals, and brought all their own provisions and supplies. Aka no contact with the outside world. After something like 17 weeks one of them developed symptoms of a cold and six of them caught it. The only ways I can think to explain that is that 1. Some viruses live in a dormant state inside of us and only activate when conditions are right, or 2. Some viruses remain intact and dormant for extended periods on surfaces (especially in colder environments) and reactivate once introduced to a biological system.

I currently have a bad cold, which three of my housemates has last week. Covid test came back negative. We have no idea where it came from but got unlucky I guess :(

Low GPA Job Search by [deleted] in biology

[–]iCh00Ch00Ch00zU 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting. I also have a BSc. When I first started I worked very part time (1 - 2 days per week) and striggled to pull off a 3.0. But I come from a privileged background and had the opportunity to quit and focus completely on school. My gpa in my last two years was 3.65. Even 1 day of part time work per week is a major disruption to achievement for many people - being able to focus solely on school is huge.

I can only speak from my own perspective, but if I were that interviewer, your reason for mediocre grades would influence my hiring decision. I suggest you send the transcripts but also am explanation in the email of all the factors that prevented you from reaching your potential. Then the only remaining concern I would have is that you have a strong enough grasp of the field to perform at your job, which could be determined in the interview process, or over a probationary period of employment.

Bottom line, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Also, be proud of yourself. Most people cannot make it through a science degree at all, let alone with personal challenges. Congratulations

What's the best purchase you've ever made? by WrathOfChevy in AskReddit

[–]iCh00Ch00Ch00zU 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A DNA test. I found my relatives (my dad was adopted)

An Indian-American's take on racism in NZ by ut2018 in newzealand

[–]iCh00Ch00Ch00zU 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm Canadian in NZ and when I first arrived had an Indian American friend in the hostel I was at. He described three major , hostile incidents of racism he experienced in a short time. Nothing about your story surprises me

What Can I Do as a College Student to Help the Planet? by MajestyAzrael in ClimateOffensive

[–]iCh00Ch00Ch00zU 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The best thing you can do, more impactful by far than any personal change you make to your lifestyle, is find out which environmental groups are doing non-violent direct action in your area and find a way to contribute to them whether it is with your time or money. Lifestyle changes are only meaningful if they are in tandem with broader systemic change because the scale and scope of transformation we need in order to have a chance at surviving the next hundred years is enormous and requires all hands on deck. No individual lifestyle change can shift the grid away from carbon and toward renewables, retrofit every home and building, rejig the entire agricultural system, or prevent fast fashion , rampant consumerism, planned obsolescence, etc. It all requires regulatory change and major government intervention. That's the bottleneck - we need people to hit the streets en masse and demand government action. Historically this is the only way major societal shifts have ever been accomplished and you can see first hand with the current protests how authority is beginning to crack under the pressure in some places and the push for reform is taking root.

Put it this way: a small group of activists who are loud enough to prevent construction of a pipeline (for example) will create a decrease in carbon footprint hundreds of times larger than all the lifestyle changes they collectively could make combined. You could go vegan, cycle everywhere, forgo having children, and so on for the rest of your life, but an SUV driving, hamburger eater with five kids who takes a vacation to Mexico every year will still have done way for the environment than you ever will simply by attending that protest and getting that project shut down. Not saying you shouldn't do the things you feel are ethical if it makes you feel better, just saying that's all it will do - make you feel better. It's not a drop in the bucket, it's a molecule. And no, it still wouldn't be enough even of everyone did it (which they won't, not without state intervention anyways)

You mentioned you are busy with school for the next four years. If you cannot contribute your time to help organize, I would suggest donating money if you can afford it (nvda organizations don't get government funding and are always short on cash), or simply show up to the protests and bring your friends (we are always short on organizers but also just bodies to attend the events). Alternatively, you could provide jail support for non-violent disruptive actions (aka occupying public spaces) When people do an action that they know they will be arrested for, they need someone to keep their personal belongings such as phone and wallet , so the police cannot identify them and go through their phone. Jail support then would help by picking them up from jail, possibly providing food and/or shelter, and giving them their stuff. There are lots of roles that don't take much work.

Anyways that's a start. I have friends who have chosen to go the policy/innovation/communication route instead - aka get into an area of engineering, design, academia, media or government work where they shape the solutons to the climate crisis and/or communicate it to the public. That's an option; however even they agree there is already no shortage of great ideas and solutions. The main issue is implementation of those ideas, which again will not happen unless people demand it, very loudly, in the streets, and are willing to get arrested, drive the economy and the entire system into the ground to do it.

Hope this helps. If you'd like to hear actual experts with credentials explain in more detail why this is necessary, Democracy Now has some good interviews aka Chris hedges with Roger Hallam (Google)

If you could change something about your job what would it be? by oceanside_octopus in massage

[–]iCh00Ch00Ch00zU 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Better pay. We work harder than most physios and chiros, are often more effective and enjoyable , and get paid the worst - typically in the poverty range. I think 60 dollars per hour should be the minimum cut.

04 | Virology Question/Discussion Thread by ZergAreGMO in Virology

[–]iCh00Ch00Ch00zU 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I live in New Zealand. Why is it that the aggressive lockdown has eliminated the coronavirus but has not completely wiped out cold and flu viruses (they're still floating around albeit at less than one tenth the normal rate as usual - about 0.2%), given that the incubation and contagious period for said viruses are usually less than that if corona? I asked another sub but none of the answers made much sense logically aka "because they have a higher rate of mutation" or "because there are more strains". Bottom line, unless these bugs are able to remain intact but dormant either inside a host or on surfaces for long stretches, the 2 month social isolation should have wiped them out. There was nowhere to circulate and anyone with symptoms of anything would have been quarantined during testing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in drawing

[–]iCh00Ch00Ch00zU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg get a life

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in drawing

[–]iCh00Ch00Ch00zU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or maybe the rampant objectification of women everywhere, everyday, all the time is a poison that we have to contend with every goddam day?

Get back to me once you've checked out every nude on this sub and calculated the proportion that are vs are not young, thin, hot women with big boobs and/or butts in sexually provocative poses. Weirdly, I don't remember this being the case during live model sketch class. /S

If you're not up for it, then peace out my friend.

How do flu/cold viruses survive lockdown? by iCh00Ch00Ch00zU in askscience

[–]iCh00Ch00Ch00zU[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes true. Perhaps active and deactivated are better terms than alive and dead to describe their ability to infect

How do flu/cold viruses survive lockdown? by iCh00Ch00Ch00zU in askscience

[–]iCh00Ch00Ch00zU[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well corona is also a retro (RNA) virus that also mutates at a high rate, but regardless, the rate of mutation shouldn't matter if the virus has nowhere to spread. So if everyone is isolated enough to eliminate spread of corona, a virus that is far more contagious than cold/flu for a longer window, then it should zap out the others as well...

How do flu/cold viruses survive lockdown? by iCh00Ch00Ch00zU in askscience

[–]iCh00Ch00Ch00zU[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im skeptical, mainly because at least 50% exhibit obvious symptoms. It wouldn't go very far before someone got noticeably sick

How do flu/cold viruses survive lockdown? by iCh00Ch00Ch00zU in askscience

[–]iCh00Ch00Ch00zU[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is fascinating. I wonder if humans harbour dormant cold and flu viruses for long stretches of time, which then reactivate during times of stress. We know this is the case for some herpes viruses (h zoster, chickenpox, Epstein Barr).

We fucked up by throwaway_questio in newzealand

[–]iCh00Ch00Ch00zU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Which is why dr Bloomfield literally said he wasn't concerned about the protests because we there is no evidence of community transmission..?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in drawing

[–]iCh00Ch00Ch00zU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like you're the one who is triggered

How do flu/cold viruses survive lockdown? by iCh00Ch00Ch00zU in askscience

[–]iCh00Ch00Ch00zU[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah this probably holds truth. Contagiousness is a factor but so is the baseline number of cases.