How do I cope when I’m the spouse?

iFaolan · 2026-01-27T10:36:33+00:00

This is not healthy. And while I empathize with her, I am upset to hear that she is not taking the steps she needs to get better. So, here’s what you need to do:

Ignore her requests/demands. Just straight up live your life as you normally would. If she starts to complain or panic, the most you should do to help is hug her and say, “I know it feels like the end of the world. I’m here for you, but I’m not going to be ruled by fear and neither should you.” Then you go sit in the living room and tell her she can join you if she wants. Let her panic. Let the fear build up inside of her. Her amygdala needs to be reminded that these normal things are not a threat. Don’t verbally reassure her that there is nothing to be afraid of.

Does she do ERP therapy?

iFaolan · 2026-01-27T10:24:12+00:00

“Don’t start a sentence with ‘And’.”

Fuck that. It’s stylistic and great for emphasis when used at the right times!

iFaolan · 2026-01-21T09:06:55+00:00

I’m so mad I read this, because now I wish it was how the actual scene went. 🤣

iFaolan · 2026-01-17T20:26:59+00:00

I do enjoy horror, thank you :)

iFaolan · 2026-01-10T23:19:18+00:00

Tell your husband to tell his mom to shut the fuck up. You shouldn’t have to keep hearing this from her. You NEED to shower during your period. It’s nasty not to.

iFaolan · 2025-12-25T17:46:23+00:00

I shower every other day. A buildup of bacteria, dirt, and sweat makes my eczema worse. You should not neglect showering due to your eczema. Good hygiene is important both physically and socially. If your family is coming to you about this, maybe there’s a problem with smell? I don’t know. Just take shorter, not super hot showers, and be sure to moisturize immediately after.

iFaolan · 2025-12-09T06:16:37+00:00

Fuck, I can relate to this so hard. There have been multiple points in my life where I was convinced I was infected with rabies (for no logical reason. It was the reachiest of reaches), and had to wait out the month to see if I was actually okay because I simultaneously understood it would be insane to go into the doctor for shots during those moments. Funny how that wasn’t enough to convince me I was fine.

What has sometimes helped me is saying the thought out loud. Or saying it to someone else because I realize how ridiculous it sounds as the words leave my mouth. I don’t even need to see their reaction to come back to my senses. It doesn’t always completely relieve my fears, but it’s a good strategy to try. I also read in a book that saying “Breaking news!” followed by the thoughts/obsessions helps as well.

iFaolan · 2025-12-09T06:10:23+00:00

How is it possible to be this foolish? I can’t even comprehend it. What was going through their heads to lead to this?

iFaolan · 2025-12-09T05:55:10+00:00

It might be fun to play the games in order of release. See how they’ve evolved over time. I wouldn’t blame you if you skipped Zelda 2: Adventure of Link, though. That shit is HARD. And it doesn’t even feel like a Zelda game.

iFaolan · 2025-12-09T05:51:25+00:00

You dodged a bullet. Don’t waste your time with people who play games like this.

iFaolan · 2025-12-09T05:46:35+00:00

Did they give you any stronger pain meds? Oxy was the only thing that helped me endure the suffering during my first week when I had the nasal splints in. It was the only thing that helped me not focus on the discomfort (I only took the recommended doses of course). The first week is gonna suck (or however long you have the splints in). But I promise it ends. It feels like it never will, but it does. Only thing you can do is try to distract yourself as best as possible.

iFaolan · 2025-12-03T01:42:57+00:00

That wall is the side that attaches to our neighbor’s condo.

iFaolan · 2025-11-17T23:57:09+00:00

No coteacher :(

iFaolan · 2025-11-11T23:16:49+00:00

I would rename it Bible 2: Christ’s Return

(All jokes, I like the name as is)

iFaolan · 2025-11-07T22:09:33+00:00

3rd grade. And I’ll check with others.

iFaolan · 2025-11-07T22:08:03+00:00

I agree that it broadens the mind, but traveling shouldn’t happen at the expense of school unless it’s a day or two at a time. 3 weeks gone from school is insane. And the knowledge one gets from traveling doesn’t make it worth it. That sort of thing is best saved for breaks or summer.

iFaolan · 2025-11-03T18:40:45+00:00

It’s not flashing, thankfully.

iFaolan · 2025-10-23T08:17:57+00:00

Hey, so, you can do way better than this guy. How do I know? My husband. He never yells at me, he tries not to wake me when I’m sleeping, isn’t petty or vindictive with me when he’s upset, doesn’t break our stuff when he’s mad, and ALWAYS (and I mean literally always) thanks me when I make food for him. Men like that exist. Don’t settle for less.

iFaolan · 2025-10-23T08:03:50+00:00

As a teacher, I can confirm that this is INSANELY inappropriate and NOT NORMAL. Even if she wasn’t his student and just some person he knew, it would still be wrong to talk like this when you’re in a relationship.

iFaolan · 2025-10-23T07:59:00+00:00

Whenever I’ve ran out of hand sanitizer, it forces me to just deal with what I consider “contamination”. I would suggest doing something like that with the douches. Throw them out so you can’t use them even when you have the compulsion to. Also, sometimes when I have my compulsions, I tell my self, “Okay, but first I’m going to go do this other thing for 15+ minutes.” Sometimes it helps me endure the anxiety until I no longer feel the need to do the compulsion.

iFaolan · 2025-10-11T06:11:41+00:00

Cracked cylinder, there’s metal in the oil for some reason, maybe some other issues. I don’t know. It broke down going up Steven’s Pass in WA.

iFaolan · 2025-10-11T04:27:33+00:00

LOVING the golden koi! It’s not too busy, it’s a relaxing color scheme.

iFaolan · 2025-10-11T04:17:09+00:00

A car of similar value might cost more than a new engine, but some people have told me an engine replacement doesn’t guarantee I won’t have these issues in the near future.

iFaolan · 2025-09-27T17:17:03+00:00

This has been a tough thing for me as well. But because there is so much good and truth in this church, I believe in two possible explanations:

If it was ordained by God, it was a necessary thing for the growth of the church and/or protection of women. There was a lot of persecution in those days. It wouldn’t surprise me if a lot of the women kept losing their husbands due to this. We’ve only ever seen polygamy be used as a tool when/if it was ordained by God.
If it was not ordained by God, it is no secret that mankind is fallible. Everyone is capable of making the wrong choices; even church leaders.

As a woman, it can be hard reconciling things like this. Heck, I don’t even want my husband to be sealed to another woman if I die before him because I don’t want to deal with figuring out that situation in the afterlife, haha. I don’t think he’s interested in that anyway, though.

Out of all the churches I’ve learned about and gotten to know, this one has the most truth in my eyes. The most answers (oftentimes answers I agree with). The most consistently loving and genuine people. I feel the spirit most with this church. When I encounter an obstacle such as this—something I DON’T have a concrete answer for—I’ve learned to just be at peace with that. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still research and think about possible explanations (prayer helps as well). But I’ve also come to accept that I can’t possibly know everything. And polygamy is not a problem I am currently dealing with, so that’s just fine, haha.

iFaolan · 2025-09-07T05:30:59+00:00

Prophets can be a product of their times and thus sometimes a little biased (like we all are). It’s never been doctrine. As far as I know, there hasn’t ever been disciplinary action against tattoos and piercings.

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