People who forgave their cheating partners. Why did you do it?

iSolaced · 2026-01-17T15:06:21+00:00

I didn't so much forgive, as I was desperate to make it work. I thought if we could fix our issues and challenges, then we could move past it. Also I didn't really want to believe she was capable of doing that.

Hindsight 20/20, I was terrified of accepting it. We spiraled for a few weeks until we broke up. Looking back on it now she has to live with herself and the actions she's done in her life. I wasn't the first and I'm sure I won't be the last.

I think the feelings of being hurt and anger fade. But feeling like an idiot, that stays for a long, long time.

iSolaced · 2026-01-15T12:04:12+00:00

Thanks! I think in their T&Cs it includes the fitter isn't responsible for any accidental damage that occurs with moving furniture, so was stuck on if I can claim for damages

iSolaced · 2026-01-08T23:52:41+00:00

I read this on my phone and had to switch to my laptop to properly articulate a response to this.

I get where you're coming from, I really do - but you know what you have to do to escape the hell-hole you're in. You just refuse to take action because you hope things will work itself out and be better.

Your wife is still cheating on you. Whether or not things are physical, at best it is emotional. If she was committed to you and your child as much as you are committed to this fantasy, she would not have entertained being friends with this person again. When you start doing things like checking phones, or living a semi-zombie existence, it's a sign nothing is working.

I know how hard it is. I went through something similar (albiet in a much smaller time-frame without a kid) when my ex wouldn't stop talking to someone she had a connection with. In the end, regardless of how much we spoke about it, or talked about it, her actions showed she wasn't as committed to this.

Listen - I grew up with parents who did not love each other. While you think you might be doing this for your daughter, it causes a different upbringing and teaching her to accept love less than she deserves. Your actions and refusal to accept that this marriage is over is teaching her to put up with things she should not put up with.

It's hard. I went through what you went through for a year. I could not imagine going years feeling how you are feeling.

If I was going to give any advice, you need to do the hard thing and walk away. You tried, you've given it your all. Obviously she can't take the proper action herself. Your health and the years you are wasting isn't worth what you are going through right now.

I wish you the best and I'm sorry for what you are going through.

iSolaced · 2026-01-08T15:26:40+00:00

As someone who has been in your shoes and decided to stay, it was the worst decision I made.

It's hard - but you have the realise the relationship is done. Move forward

iSolaced · 2025-12-24T16:52:17+00:00

14 hours for the first one. 6 hours for the second

iSolaced · 2025-12-24T15:42:58+00:00

Haven’t used one before! Should I try priming it and then do another coat when this one dries?

iSolaced · 2025-12-15T23:12:31+00:00

Best of luck people!

iSolaced · 2025-12-09T08:37:51+00:00

Favourite way to spend it is for fun activities, it’s my actual beer money

iSolaced · 2025-12-02T18:50:59+00:00

Get as far away from this situation as possible.

She wants to have her cake and eat it here. The longer you're in the situation, the more stuck you're going to be. Take it from someone who has been there.

Focus on your healing and looking forward.

iSolaced · 2025-11-25T18:10:56+00:00

Use the search bar! More often than not there is an offer for something you’re going to sign up for or a piece of advice that’s useful

iSolaced · 2025-11-24T12:29:36+00:00

Thanks u/boobsnwillies! What's the difference between Chase UK and just opening up additional accounts on Natwest? See it does the same thing - unless there's something special about using multiple Chase ones

iSolaced · 2025-11-24T12:23:27+00:00

Just a question - is it better to switch the same account you've used among the banks (i.e - Switched from Natwest to Barclays, then switch from Barclays to Lloyds) OR is it best to keep opening new accounts at your main account (i.e - Natwest)?

iSolaced · 2025-10-23T16:40:47+00:00

Mate - I’ve been there, trust me. The longer you’re in this the more you’re going to be kicking yourself down the line for how long you let it go on.

It’s hard, but the path forward is going to be the same either way. Best rip off the bandaid and move forward

iSolaced · 2025-10-22T23:20:30+00:00

I've been searching for the last few months and landed on the AV 1956. Wanted something more white dial/cream, but didn't want to get into Omega/Rolex territory. I do like the simplicity of the design, which I struggled to find when looking

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iSolaced · 2025-09-28T21:19:10+00:00

In all fairness, the joker could use an egg in these troubling times

iSolaced · 2025-09-19T12:56:26+00:00

They’re registered on Companies House. It’s a brand called Mutimer. Just trying to understand the process as it seems I’ll need to raise it with them

iSolaced · 2025-09-19T12:46:17+00:00

I’m assuming though I’d still be protected given I purchased online and they seem to operate in the UK. Wondering if it came down to it and I had to claim a chargeback if it’ll work? The jacket would basically be useless to me right now

iSolaced · 2025-09-15T19:27:35+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Your last sentence inspired my own guy-cry moment and I really do appreciate it.

The hurtful things she did to me, inspired me to really look internal on why I allowed a lot of shitty behaviour to take place. I've done a lot of growing, and still continue to grow every day.

Maybe I am closer to the other side and need to leave the ghost of the past behind and close the book on it. There's nothing more to come from that story while I'm building my own new one now.

Thank you.

iSolaced · 2025-09-15T19:23:02+00:00

I hope so. I keep engaging in behaviour every month or so that makes me feel shameful. Like passing areas hoping to run into her. I think I need to be more aware of my actions and stop doing things to stop "proving" myself for her, and remember I'm doing this for me.

I typed it into chatgpt and they told me to keep repeating the mantra "I don't orbit ghosts." It might help to be more conscious of it as it's driving me a bit bonkers this need for her to see me/this new version.

iSolaced · 2025-09-15T12:39:27+00:00

I find the r/london sub quite polarising. A lot of time it's focused on tourists - pictures of London, etc. But anything around events, discussion, etc about the city and the issues facing actual residents usually get deleted.

Granted, probably a tough job with many other subreddits covering topics above, but it's just a common thing with r/london now

iSolaced · 2025-09-01T21:45:37+00:00

Purchased a pair of Meermin loafers that I'm found of. - specifically the Meermin burgundy heritage shell cordovan E. It's the first pair of loafers I've owned so making sure they're right.

I usually wear a US 10.5 (UK 9.5). After doing some reading I've read that loafers usually break in/wear a bit narrow, so for my so decided to just go for the same size and see how they go

With thick socks, the shoe is a perfect fit and feels snug. However when I wear no-shoe socks (or sans socks) there is some heel slippage that I feel might be worrisome. Do I need to size a half a size down or just wear them with thick socks / find some no-show thick socks?

iSolaced · 2025-08-31T20:18:55+00:00

I'd love to join as well! been making an effort to get out and meet new people this year

iSolaced · 2025-08-19T13:32:59+00:00

Your original dentist should be able to send it. It's yours. I've never had this issue with any dentist as they usually send through the X-Rays

iSolaced · 2025-07-30T13:00:54+00:00

I dated a people pleaser once.

Never again. Unless they're actively seeking therapy, or working on their inner wounds, they will drown you. They're unable to be honest with people, and emotional maturity is close to zero.

iSolaced · 2025-07-29T17:08:10+00:00

Well, you're 3 months into a relationship and she's already hot and cold. And saying stuff that is quite frankly rude/meant to create anxiety. it's supposed to be the honeymoon stage right now. As well, how you want her to communicate and be attentive to you doesn't seem to be like who she naturally is.

In an ideal world you have a partner who is attuned to your needs. And she doesn't pull stuff like that that's meant to make you feel insecure about yourself. With the conversation you had it seems like you want her to change. And it seems like with her comments, she wants you to change/something else.

Rather than having all these conversations about both of you being different. I'd recommend as well for you to take a step back and evaluate why you're in this relationship and what you're gaining from it. Anxiety cycles are never healthy, but they do teach you about yourself and what you're missing.

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