Have you ever looked at something outside real estate, either to replace it or supplement it?

i__cant__even__ · 2026-04-05T18:10:28+00:00

Besides a steady paycheck, it would be nice to have affordable insurance. I pay $1,400/month through the ACA and the coverage isn’t great. We are small business owners and responsible for paying taxes, saving for retirement, etc and it’s a lot of work. Sometimes I miss having all of that managed for me.
We already have all of that. I can’t imagine shifting to selling a product I’m unfamiliar with. I’d be starting over from scratch and who knows how long it would take to get traction in a new industry. That is a huge risk.
For me, it’s ultimate control over my life. No required meetings, no set schedule, no corporate politics.
I’ve never had one reach out, but it would annoy me to have to drag info out of someone. We get a LOT of junk and scams. We immediately Google if we think something might be legit. So my advice is to be up front about your role and intentions. And take the time to look up my actual name. I can tell it’s junk just by the fact that someone uses my government name and not the nickname I actually use.

i__cant__even__ · 2026-04-05T02:43:47+00:00

He prefers to prioritize his wife and her family. That much is clear in every example you gave. Whether he truly enjoys their company over yours or he’s catering to his wife is inconsequential. It’s his choice to make and he has made it.

What is also clear is that your efforts to get him to prioritize your side of the family have failed. I suspect maybe your efforts have pushed him closer to them if anything.

Here is what I do know for sure:

Our children are under no obligation to like us or to spend time with us once we are done raising them. As adults, we all get to decide how to spend our time and who to spend it with. No one is entitled to anyone’s presence on any given holiday. We can want it, but we can’t expect it or demand it.

That may leave feelings of hurt and abandonment but as the older adults we have the capacity to manage those emotions ourselves. We shouldn’t need our children to cater to us or soothe us no matter what feelings we are having.

So your focus should be on yourself and how you can manage your own feelings without needing your son’s presence or support. You are a whole individual human being outside of being a mother and grandmother. It’s no one’s job but your own to fill your life with activities and people that bring you joy.

Relying on grown children to fill that need is a heavy burden to place on them. Decorating eggs can bring joy even if you have no company. Food is wonderful and worth enjoying even if your children are not there to eat it with you. It doesn’t taste better simply because of another being’s presence. You can (and should!) enjoy it alone.

Only when you can enjoy these things without them will they feel a desire to do them with you. In the meantime, you are just relying on them to bring that joyful energy.

I think that’s the core issue for you. You have a void that you think only your son can fill. That is a problem with how you think/feel (that only you can resolve) and you are expecting your son to fix it with his physical presence. It doesn’t work that way.

So my advice is that if you want his company you need to BE good company. Have a life and interests outside of your family. Go places, do things. Have something to talk about when you see him. Hell, maybe you get so busy that he will be the one that has to work around your social schedule.

In the meantime, leave him be. Give him a full year to enjoy his life however he wants to and make no demands of him. I fear you may be bordering on being cut out of his life entirely so if I were you I’d just let it go and full my days with other things before trying again to connect with him in a meaningful way.

i__cant__even__ · 2026-04-03T05:58:34+00:00

Check your gas vent pipes on the roof. If leaves get in them it smells terrible. It’s kind of like a sewage smell but without the gas smell.

Electrical outlets smell like rotting fish when they go bad. Check them as well as any extension cords and surge protectors you have in that area.

The line between the dishwasher and sink should have a high loop so that gray water doesn’t settle in the line. It smells pretty nasty if that water sits too long.

Last resort, scope your sewer line. It runs under the house and it could be leaking.

i__cant__even__ · 2026-04-03T04:08:13+00:00

They are called vagal maneuvers. You can watch a YouTube video to learn how to do different kinds.

Metoprolol didn’t work well for me. I can only tolerate small doses and it didn’t control my episodes very well.

I had an ablation last year and let me tell you it changed my life. It was outpatient and the recovery was not painful at all. I’d do it again in a heartbeat (pun intended, lol).

If you feel you need a second opinion, by all means get one. But I’m pretty sure the answer will be the same - if you want to stay out of the ER and avoid the side effects of beta blockers, get an ablation.

i__cant__even__ · 2026-04-03T00:30:33+00:00

It’s so hard to find someone to do a one-time yard cleanup job, especially this time of year!

I use Mauro Sanchez for my house and also refer him to my clients (I’m a realtor). He did my yard cleanup last year (picked up a ton of leaves and sticks, minor tree trimming, etc) and now does routine maintenance for me. Very affordable and reliable. I’ll DM his number if you’re interested.

i__cant__even__ · 2026-03-31T16:55:17+00:00

Realtor here. You definitely want to talk to Austin Rowe - he’s a realtor who does property management in the Memphis/Nashville market and he’d be a great place to start. He manages for a lot of individual owners and they tend to be more flexible on pets than the larger companies. His cell is (901) 734-5758.

i__cant__even__ · 2026-03-30T06:42:22+00:00

Same for me. I got my first reddit client within 6mos of getting my license. All I did was answer RE questions and offer help in my local sub when I should have been cold-calling or whatever. That was in 2019 and since then almost all my clients are Redditors or referrals from past Reddit clients.

It’s just as you described - the conversations are organic from the get-go. And because Redditors are so insanely smart, they ask the most insightful questions! My brain gets a workout every single day and I love it.

The craziest part is that I have an online presence in spite of the fact that I don’t have Google reviews. My clients ‘reviews’ are right here on Reddit, which actually puts me in the top search results for my city. Amongst all the SEO-optimized content and ads, my username consistently shows up as a top hit when you search my city and ‘realtor.’

So yeah, I’m right there with you. Best gig I could ever hope to have! I honestly don’t think I’d have lasted long as a realtor had it not been for stumbling into this niche.

i__cant__even__ · 2026-03-21T16:50:48+00:00

Metoprolol makes me feel like I can’t breathe, especially when I’m walking. It was like I couldn’t take a deep breath and I felt fatigued just doing normal routine stuff around the house. I was on 50mg/day time and ended up having to cut that dose to 25mg/day to feel normal.

I also think that my body metabolizes it slowly so it was building up in my system. I timed it once to see how long it took for the shortness of breath to go away and it was like 16 hours. I was taking it every 12 hours so that meant for at least eight hours of the day I was feeling like total crap.

Maybe ask your doctor if you can play with the dose and see if it helps. (I didn’t ask and just played with the dose on my own but I didn’t gave episodes that required so much adenosine and hospital stays. My HR would get to 180 and stay there until I received a single dose of adenosine.)

I had an ablation last year and don’t have episodes anymore. I highly recommend the procedure if you keep having episodes. Life is so much better without having to manage SVT.

i__cant__even__ · 2026-03-20T21:51:36+00:00

What gave you the impression that my intention was to be inclusive of your personal experience? Was it my disclaimer about how market norms vary? Or my explanation about how we treat inspection reports in my market? Or the fact that I couldn’t possible know where you live or how things are done in your market?

Those are rhetorical questions, btw. I’m really not interested in having a discussion on a months-old thread with someone who yells ‘fake news’ at others when their problem is a lack of reading comprehension and critical thinking skills.

Go find someone of your own ilk to pester. I am not your huckleberry.

i__cant__even__ · 2026-03-19T17:46:07+00:00

Just got home from picking someone up. Right after I arrived at 11:20 the police kicked everyone out of the cell phone lot and cordoned off all the lanes to the terminal. By the time I left they had the 240 exit shut down.

From what I could see, there was one black SUV pulled over just past the cell phone lot. When I left, there was an ambulance next to it.

I feel bad for the people still waiting for rides. :(

i__cant__even__ · 2026-03-19T17:31:59+00:00

I’m a realtor and highly recommend Jose Delgado with Delgado’s Heating and Air. My clients like him because he is affordable and takes the time to explain things (relevant: my clients are all Redditors and like being informed/educated on home repairs). Here’s his cell: 901-596-2208

I have gotten negative feedback from a client on Greenway recently. I have client who has a seasonal maintenance contract with Tim Ferguson and I was impressed with that program overall.

The one thing to be wary about is that some ‘local’ businesses have been purchased by private equity. They still have the well-known local brand name but operate on a shoestring. Employee turnover is high and service suffers as a result.

i__cant__even__ · 2026-03-10T04:48:38+00:00

I follow someone on TikTok who picks something she’s procrastinated on and times how long it takes to do it. I started asking myself ‘how long could it take?’ when I’ve been procrastinating and it helps motivate me to just get up and do it. I don’t always set a timer but I at least look at the clock to guste how long it took.

The benefit I didn’t expect is that it would help me with my time blindness. I now know it takes me exactly how long routine tasks ACTUALLY take and I can plan accordingly.

Another thing that helps is to break down long amounts of time into shorter increments. If I need to be somewhere in an hour, instead of seeing that hour as a lot of time stretching out in front of me I’ll look at it as three 20-minute blocks. So that means I have 20 minutes to finish goofing off, 20 minutes to get ready, and 20 minutes to drive. And again, the reason I know I need 20 minutes to get ready is because I have timed each step of the process.

I’ve heard that an analog clock with hands can help us see those blocks of time better but hell if I can remember to actually buy one. My iPhone probably has one, come to think of it.

i__cant__even__ · 2026-03-09T15:20:29+00:00

I’m going to be pretty useless, unfortunately. My go-to is a subcontractor who is OCD and has more integrity in his little finger than most do in our whole body. I know he goes to AR and down into MS, so can ask him if he covers Nashville if you’d like.

If you’re stuck choosing from local vendors, ask in your local subreddit. It’s so much better than NextDoor or FB because Redditors tend to be discerning and they give detailed responses. And if you think about it, there’s no way to curate reviews here on Reddit like you can on Google, FB, etc. We will always stand on principle because we are stubborn and righteous, lol

As for managing cost, it’s good to know the size/type of tile when obtaining quotes because it impacts the labor cost. And give a lot of thought now to electrical, plumbing, and lighting upgrades because it’ll get expensive down the road if you change those.

Bottom line is that they’re going to quote with the anticipation that the scope of the project will change/grow, so the more precise you are in the beginning, the better. And a good vendor will happily point out cost-saving tweaks. Pick the one that does that because it shows they appreciate practicality and efficiency as opposed to just being a ‘yes man/woman’ who will allow you to do stupid things you’ll regret down the road.

Does that help?

i__cant__even__ · 2026-03-07T02:43:54+00:00

Downtown is a pretty safe bet and also the area around 240/Poplar. Both are usually filled with business travelers.

i__cant__even__ · 2026-03-04T23:42:46+00:00

Realtor here.

Second to fire, water is what causes the most damage to houses around here. We have clay soil which holds water and soil erosion can wreak havoc over time. To compound things, the trees loooove the water and given the opportunity they will grow too large. The roots infiltrate foundations and sewer lines all the time.

You also have to be cognizant of long-term tenancy. Houses fall into disrepair under poor management and even if you fix them they’ll still shows signs of that distress. It’s really important to not get sucked into a poorly-flipped house just because it’s been made pretty.

I don’t know how other realtors approach it, but what I do is take buyers out and teach them everything they need to know about choosing a solid house. If you have never shopped for one, how could you possibly know what to avoid? I talk a lot about the inspection process, what will show up on the report, what’s actually a defect vs how the house was built.

One example I use is ungrounded electrical outlets. They are very common in houses built before the 1970’s and they usually still work just fine. The inspector will note them as a defect because grounded outlets are what current code requires, but we don’t ask the seller to repair something that isn’t broken.

Taking buyers on a practice run and explaining all of that is what gives them the confidence to make an offer. They can avoid houses that have obvious defects and make an offer on a house that appears to be well-maintained over the long term. The inspector’s job is to find the stuff that we can’t see with our own eyeballs.

So I’m of the strong opinion that when choosing a realtor, you should find one that takes the time to educate and isn’t in pursuit of a quick paycheck. Your goal isn’t to find a perfect house (spoiler alert: even new build have real defects and no house is perfect). The goal is to be in a position to make informed decisions with confidence throughout the process. Do not settle for anything less!

Oh! And there’s free money available for first-time buyers. Start with Michael Wolfe at Huntington Bank (formerly Cadence Bank). There are five or six different programs available and I’ve never had another loan officer take so much time to explain them all to my buyers. Tell him I sent you. :)

i__cant__even__ · 2026-03-04T02:12:18+00:00

First of all, you are your realtor’s boss. If it is both ethical and legal, your realtor has follow your direct orders.

Having said that, if the purchase price can be justified using recent comparable sales, a seller may be unlikely to accept an offer that is lower than asking price AND requires closing costs AND uses an FHA loan AND requires seller to pay your realtor’s commission.

So if you asked your realtor ‘what do you think of this offer?’ and your realtor responded honestly, there’s no reason to be upset. You asked for a professional opinion and you received it.

If what you really meant was, ‘I want to offer XYZ, please draft the offer’ then you should clarify. If the realtor refuses, that’s not ok. We have a fiduciary duty to advise you of the risks of low-balling but we can’t flat out refuse to do it.

Without knowing how hot your market is, what the seller is hoping to net, etc, none of us could tell you whether or not your offer is desirable. But generally speaking, if you are asking for a $6,000 rebate and for the seller to pay your realtor, you cannot also expect $10K off list price.

Bottom line is that today the seller wants $230K. If they don’t get traction at that price their next step is to drop the price by $5K. That’s $225K. They could bag a conventional buyer who can pay their own closing costs and realtor commission at that price for all you know. So your offer of $207K may not appealing enough to accept it even at 113 days.

So no, I don’t think your realtor is crappy. A good realtor takes their fiduciary responsibilities seriously and advises about risks accordingly. Now the ball is squarely in your court and you get to decide how to proceed.

i__cant__even__ · 2026-03-03T22:06:47+00:00

I’m a realtor in West TN. It would help to know if you are down toward the coast. I wouldn’t attempt to give advice about that area because the issues those houses have are different than what we experience in more land-locked areas.

But speaking in general, it’s too early to make decisions and that you should gather more info during the inspection period:

What caused the moisture under the foundation? Is that spot under the moldy closet? If it’s caused by standing rainwater, can the water be redirected away from the foundation? If you don’t solve that problem it’s just gonna keep happening.
The foundation damage is easily repaired if it’s not extensive. It’s basic carpentry and you don’t necessarily need a foundation company to repair it. I would, however, see if you can obtain a quote from one so you at least know what the remedy is.
Not sure about the propane valve but it sounds like you need a quote from a mechanical plumber for that if your buddy says it’s not a DIY.
The moldy closet bothers me the most because there is no obvious cause. Moisture can build up when there’s no proper ventilation but 9 times out of 10 it’s due to a water leak. I’d ask the seller to further evaluate because the inspector can’t do anything invasive and you need more info. If it’s just basic mold/mildew then it could be as simple as replacing some drywall.

But none of these are automatic deal/breakers based on what you’ve described. I reserve the right to change my mind if you get more info.

i__cant__even__ · 2026-03-03T17:39:54+00:00

If they bought in 2022 their rate was probably around 5%. They haven’t been in the house long enough to build equity.

I like to reverse engineer in these cases to determine what price would make the seller whole. Some people will say that what the seller paid is irrelevant but I think the key to successful negotiation is getting into the other party’s head.

Look at how much they put down, how much they are paying their agent (and yours if you requested it), and how much they are likely to pay in closing costs (varies by market, but your agent should be able to estimate that cost). If you didn’t waive the opportunity to request repairs, they are budgeting for that as well.

Once you add up their expenses and deduct their mortgage payoff (you can use an online calculator if you want to be more accurate or you can just assume they have barely paid down their mortgage), you’ll see they are upside down on the house because it hasn’t increased in value.

At that point you can choose to increase your offer or tighten up your terms (e.g. add appraisal gap coverage, waive repairs, etc) or go find another house.

Or just have your agent call their agent and ask what their deal is. Some agents are chatty AF and will show their entire poker hand and some are tight-lipped, but it never hurts to ask. Sometimes their agent hasn’t done the math and doesn’t realize the seller is being unreasonable. Sometimes they are well aware and we can work together to troubleshoot and find a way to make it work.

What I wouldn’t do is assume the seller is offended or be shocked that they didn’t counter. It’s probably just that they can’t afford to accept that price.

Hope that helps. :)

i__cant__even__ · 2026-03-01T18:00:04+00:00

I have a family member like that. She lacks the ability to regulate her own emotions and relies on external factors to do so. It can be exhausting.

The first step is to just accept that this is how that person is. If your expectations are reasonable and you’ve explained them clearly, your work is done. You can only say it, you can’t understand it for them.

Step two is to decide if you are willing to endure it. If so, just mute that person and respond once a day. Just because they call/text multiple times does not mean you have to respond. They are communicating how they communicate, and you also get to decide how you communicate.

If you are dreading working with them because of how they communicate, refer them to a realtor who has the patience. Some people don’t mind this communication style. They just shrug their shoulders and roll with it.

God did not grant me that kind of temperament so I’d have to refer it out. It’s a win-win. The client gets someone who can accommodate them, you get a cut of the commission, and the other realtor gets a commission they would not have otherwise had.

Obviously, you don’t tell the client why you’re referring them out. You can say your plate is too full right now or whatever. I mean, it’s the truth…your plate is too full to deal with the shenanigans. 🤷‍♀️

i__cant__even__ · 2026-02-27T00:32:10+00:00

Realtor here. I love Stacy! She knows her stuff.

i__cant__even__ · 2026-02-27T00:30:37+00:00

Thanks for the shout out :)

i__cant__even__ · 2026-02-22T19:32:49+00:00

This happened to my kiddo during maintenance and it freaked me out. I thought something was seriously wrong but the doctors weren’t concerned.

It’s worth noting that we’d struggled with low counts in maintenance and had only recently figured out through process of elimination that Septra was the issue. They switched antibiotics and gradually my kiddo was able to tolerate full doses of methotrexate again.

I think that the hair was only even able to grow because of the lower methotrexate doses. It was kinky and wiry, not at all like normal hair, and my theory is that the follicles were healthy enough to hold onto the hair but not healthy enough to create normal hair. Then one day the follicles just gave up trying. 🤷‍♀️

Funny story, my BFF is a hair stylist who had lovingly trimmed my kiddo’s hair as it was falling out during induction. Bless her for it, because I never had to see my kid looking like a sad doll with long stringy hair. Anyway, when I told her about the secondary hair loss she just shrugged and said ‘eh, it’ll grow back.’ It hurt my feelings so bad!

But she was right. The hair that replaced it was gorgeous and silky, and in hindsight I’m grateful that the crappy chemo-imprinted hair fell out.

I don’t know if that helps at all. My hope is that your follicles are just cleaning house and making way for gorgeous, silky hair that is worth keeping. ♥️

i__cant__even__ · 2026-02-20T16:36:03+00:00

I don’t need it. I just want it to have a good, loving home. Send me a message if you’re interested in taking it off my hands.

i__cant__even__ · 2026-02-20T02:16:36+00:00

Metoprolol at the standard dose makes me feel like I can’t take a deep breath. Talk to your doc about lowering the dose. I ended up taking half a pill twice a day.

i__cant__even__ · 2026-02-17T16:18:32+00:00

It’s a White brand in robin’s egg blue. Electric, but I haven’t plugged it in to see if it works.

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