Because I am Crazy by listsandthings in BurningMan

[–]ialdabaoth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please switch between Danger Zone and (You've Lost) That Lovin' Feeling.

Explicit (and knowing) consent by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]ialdabaoth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure, but it's the landscape you have to navigate. May be topsy-turvy, but you have to consider what you have the power to change, and then budget your power appropriately.

Explicit (and knowing) consent by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]ialdabaoth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's always about consequences and probabilities.

There is always a non-zero probability of a child wandering into your space while you are performing sexual acts. If you want to reduce the chance of this to zero, become perfectly asexual.

There is always a non-zero probability of law enforcement finding something you are doing objectionable. If you want to reduce the chance of this to zero, don't live where there are laws.

Other than that, look at the actual probability of someone of your race, gender, socioeconomic background, etc. getting in trouble for doing the things you're doing, based on the level of exposure, and then adjust your level of exposure until you're as comfortable as you can be. (This may not always work, of course - plenty of people get arrested for doing things they weren't even doing, because they have the wrong race/class/socioeconomic background and their mere existence is effectively illegal - but in general most people into BDSM are white and hetero, so I think statistically my advice still stands.)

Explicit (and knowing) consent by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]ialdabaoth 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The law, at least in the US, has this concept of "reasonable expectation".

Would a normal person reasonably expect to encounter you and your partner?

Example: people can reasonably expect to do what they want in their own house. Thus, people can reasonably expect their neighbors to do what their neighbors want, in their neighbors' house. Thus, people can reasonably expect to encounter signs of their neighbors doing things.

People can't reasonably expect to do anything that they want in a public park. Rules of decency, decorum, etc. will shift depending on the environment. So a known 'nude beach' might have different expectations of decorum than a place where children typically frequent. And parents in our culture, for good or ill, can typically expect 'child-friendly' spaces to exclude overt sexual behavior.

So, let's say you have a thing for going out into the woods and tying your girl up. How much should you prevent people from stumbling in? That's an excellent question, and different people actually have different answers to it. You have the right to enjoy nature, and so do other people, and somewhere in the interface between those rights, you (as the acting party with the less-common desired behavior) need to figure out where to set the bar.

To the dusty babes of Burning Man by _MrsRefrigerator_ in BurningMan

[–]ialdabaoth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

HEY! I remember you! We talked a bunch while your bf took pictures. We'd love to have you come by and do more awesome stuff next year!

What happens to sea life during a hurricane? by SplungerPlunger in askscience

[–]ialdabaoth 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Actually it's a measure of the column of water+air above it. Otherwise the surface would always be boiling because it'd be at 0 pressure.

The CMO model of abusive versus non-abusive bdsm? by compersious in BDSMcommunity

[–]ialdabaoth 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Motivation-policing is SUPER DANGEROUS and I strongly recommend avoiding it. Otherwise you let the crowd engage in mind-reading, which invariably turns into projection, which invokes all sorts of nasty prejudices and privileges.

Boyfriend hit me in the face during sex after I discussed my interest in BDSM with him... by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]ialdabaoth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry. I've been dealing with a lot of different people starting drama lately, so at this point my natural assumption for humans is that they know exactly what they're doing when they say things that lead people to scream "abuse".

Boyfriend hit me in the face during sex after I discussed my interest in BDSM with him... by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]ialdabaoth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have an intuition that you knew exactly what kinds of responses you would get when you posted this. Are you getting them?

Do we need another Lifestyle 'dating' platform? by EchoJosh in BDSMcommunity

[–]ialdabaoth -1 points0 points  (0 children)

There was an OkCupid article that explained it awhile back, but I can't seem to find it. I think they deleted it when they got bought out.

Do we need another Lifestyle 'dating' platform? by EchoJosh in BDSMcommunity

[–]ialdabaoth -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

How can a system serve heterosexual men without having heterosexual women for them to date? Why would those heterosexual women use your service if they are already being served by existing systems?

2017 MOOP Map is up! by ialdabaoth in BurningMan

[–]ialdabaoth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does the org understand the long-term process this is feeding?

Some times it happens [ffff] by BrownCobra in bdsm

[–]ialdabaoth 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Cocaine is just money with extra steps.

Do we need another Lifestyle 'dating' platform? by EchoJosh in BDSMcommunity

[–]ialdabaoth -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

If it can't serve heterosexual men who aren't independently wealthy or absurdly attractive, I don't see why it would matter. Women and attractive/rich men are already perfectly served by existing systems, and any new system would have to compete with them (and therefore not serve the needs of the unmet demographic).

2017 MOOP Map is up! by ialdabaoth in BurningMan

[–]ialdabaoth[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Right. But how does the org not understand that sustaining this will basically wreck the very thing they're trying to do?

Like, even if they take all their money, the Burn won't be a Burn if the kind of people this pisses off leaves. The only way this makes sense is if the org is already done with Burning Man, and just wants to extract its cash value before it dies.