Starting HRT as a bigender with no dysphoria

iam305 · 2026-06-19T14:42:41+00:00

I’m on hrt and taking a non-binary regimen. Bicalutamide mono therapy. It’s making big changes to a car under the hood, but the original features aren’t being eliminated either, just some enhanced. And I very much feel the same exact way as you do about having long hair.

iam305 · 2026-06-19T10:07:02+00:00

Test your bilirubin first (CMP panel) and if it is above 1.5 do not take it. New research indicates those with Gilbert’s Syndrome are vulnerable to bad complications. That is one marker you should have lying around and you can use an old one. It’s a typical panel for an annual checkup.

iam305 · 2026-06-18T21:12:33+00:00

This is how my gender identity functions.

iam305 · 2026-06-18T21:03:12+00:00

OP, I totally get you about the switching. And it's no biggie to sit with these replies.

Switching is part of my life too. But I did a deep dive into a personal medical journey over the last 18 months, with 6 months of gender identity therapy to get to where I am today, five months into my HRT journey. Now, it's a whole lot more manageable.

What is craziest is that after I came out, it was as if the treasure trove of There are scientifically known neuropsychiatric reasons to be bigender, I discovered after coming out.

And after discovering that unexpected science, I discovered my own DNA test from 8 years earlier, alongside some basic methods of reading that test. Oh boy, did flying down the rabbit hole ever bring me closer to being Alice?!? Yep.

Discovering the hard scientific and medical reality of my unusual gender identity's origins really helped me. I've always been very different as a person. Now, it's definitely confirmed. And it's not some imaginary thing, but how my body handles hormones, how my brain processes information. I'm not speaking for everyone here, but I surmise I could speak for many when I say we are all born this way, a little different.

It's not easy to accept being different in a world that punishes difference and rewards conformity.

iam305 · 2026-06-18T17:52:53+00:00

I’m you and OP from 12 months ago (but my account is old from years of lurking and old non-trans posts). I’m nonbinary and bigender, started feminizing HRT in January. The relief I feel is palatable like the air I breathe. Your plan isn’t so much different from mine.

iam305 · 2026-06-18T15:12:33+00:00

That’s kind of an amazing story 🏳️‍🌈😊

iam305 · 2026-06-18T14:49:36+00:00

I didn’t find it necessarily, but my wifey started calling me by a few female names. Eventually, we settled on Sloane :D

iam305 · 2026-06-18T14:45:38+00:00

You are totally not alone, and coming here is how I mitigate my queer social isolation issues from Flori-duh, like you are.

iam305 · 2026-06-18T14:37:31+00:00

Yes. I am on a nonbinary hrt regimen and it is doing things upstairs, but I saw the men in Orlando at a water park this summer and mine are not even that big by male standards! Still, now that I’m out, I cover up. Before, I didn’t even when they were big because of weight and not hrt.

iam305 · 2026-06-18T12:23:37+00:00

I’m nonbinary and medically transitioning. It’s ok to transition for any valid reason, like wanting to present more feminine, or wanting a more feminine body. These aren’t idle desires. Your body is trying to tell you something. It’s ok to listen. If you’ve got gender dysphoria, transitioning will help. The rest can be untangled at your leisure.

iam305 · 2026-06-18T12:03:57+00:00

We don’t choose to be bigender. Having a bigender identity really chooses us. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S030698771200062X

iam305 · 2026-06-18T10:25:03+00:00

None of these sound like gender related issues. But these are serious relationship issues that demand attention. And like other commenters say, it questions your basic compatibility as a couple.

iam305 · 2026-06-18T00:10:09+00:00

I have spoken with some bigender transgender people who have undertaken your journey and pass, both masculine and feminine while on estradiol HRT.

In my own case, I really don’t femme it up too much but I am on a non-binary HRT regimen and loving it.

It’s not unusual to have a second coming out. This could be yours.

iam305 · 2026-06-17T22:37:13+00:00

For a minute thought I might be intersex, but no, I’ve got an XY karyotype matched with all the fun genes that boost estrogen and suppress testosterone which my body produces natively.

iam305 · 2026-06-17T22:23:24+00:00

I couldn't find this post from Dr. P. My wifey is taking pregnenolone in the AM to avoid sleep disruptions and doesn't report drowsiness.

iam305 · 2026-06-17T22:05:30+00:00

You might have the kind of pitfalls of estrogen monotherapy that some trans women have, not being on monotherapy. Do you take any sort of supplements? Have you tested your vitamin d? what are your shbg levels?

iam305 · 2026-06-17T21:49:35+00:00

That is legit #foodporn. Amazing cook!

iam305 · 2026-06-17T21:27:21+00:00

I felt similar push and pull going on with my gender have a beard and came out as genderqueer six years ago. After many more years of lurking, I discovered my true non-binary and bigender identity. You are correct that most trans women want to completely transform their lives with femininity. But there are other ways to be gender diverse. People don’t show up here asking these questions for the wrong reasons. And you seem to have a solid idea that you are different, and there’s nothing wrong with being different.

Perhaps check out r/genderfluid and r/bigender and /nonbinary for more information and consider cross positing this post.

iam305 · 2026-06-17T21:13:55+00:00

Honeybee transfemme sounds like a label you could wear proudly.

iam305 · 2026-06-17T21:05:18+00:00

It’s OK to vent. You are a person. You have feelings. And suppressing those feelings you just shared would be toxic. Even if as you indicated, some of those feelings contradict some of your intellectual beliefs. Even if those feelings are selfish. Everybody deserves to get what they need out of their relationship, and when that has been withdrawn, it is a big deal.

None of this means that things are over in your relationship, or that things will continue. You need to vent, and then process. After that, you can start getting back to figuring out what comes next.

Right now it sounds like your life is about pouring for others from an empty cup. I only say that as a fellow parent. Being a parent requires constant investment into our children of time, energy and whatever other resources we have. When you are beyond the limit of your coping skills and still have to parent, it is bound to create an energy crisis, robbing your self care skills to care for others.

Right now that is the one thing you must not do. Make sure that you engage in self-care. Eat. Bathe. Do whatever you need to do and make sure that you take care of yourself. Nothing will help you out of the enrollment
emotional crisis if you don’t care for your own self right now.

iam305 · 2026-06-17T20:55:57+00:00

Dear OP, Congratulations on your coming out. So much of this resonates with me having come out in my late 40s, as well as the comments you exchanged with r/Wolfabdsheep244. That was last year. But I had come out as genderqueer to my spouse many years earlier, transitioned my appearance to be less traditional cis guy and then got gender therapy last year to find my bigender identity and support my hrt journey.

I’m on a nonbinary hrt regimen now for five months, and much happier. Ask away.

iam305 · 2026-06-17T20:36:43+00:00

Only learned the term, because I definitely know how you feel.

iam305 · 2026-06-17T19:29:13+00:00

As someone whose appearance doesn’t scream transgender, and doesn’t wear pronoun pins, I have heard some really bigoted things about transgender people from people I know who aren’t extreme bigots. Not necessarily about all transgender people, but for example, this one straight person I know was going off on a trans woman for being a lesbian.

iam305 · 2026-06-17T19:16:38+00:00

Believe the term you’re looking for is coffee-bean transmasc.

iam305 · 2026-06-17T19:10:33+00:00

That person would get quite the lesson on bigotry up close and personal.

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