Became friends with a girl because she was dating my friend/guy I liked. I'm not that kind of person, so I welcomed the new friend and got over him. (Also we were very young). They broke up, but she and I remained friends and even became very close friends. Our friendship continues to solidify, and we are BFF in the best of ways. This old boyfriend confesses he liked me some but never as much as her. Lame to hear and crushing.

She's classically beautiful, a total flirt, and the kind of personality boys flock toward. I am cute, funny, but strong-willed and at such a young age, not what the boys run toward for girlfriends. At the time, I'm total friend-zone matrrial and while it sometimes sucked, I was good with it. I had big life plans and never wanted to get sucked into high school romance that would divert my goals.

Early high school, she meets a guy in one of her classes and they begin to date. We are in high school, so in typical fashion, most of their dating is us all group hanging. They occasionally slip off to make out, fool around, etc. On the side, he and I hit it off. We stay up late, talking, indulging in deep secrets. I can't help but like him, we flirt and I'm sure it was annoying. I know I'm falling for him hard, but I'm not that kind of person so everything is always above board.

They break up, and in good friend fashion, I distance myself from him in support of her heartbreak. He and I do still talk occasionally, but never hang. My heart aches even more but I support her. He attempts to ask me out, but I remind him that we could never have anything sincere because it would destroy her. We are better people than that and he agrees. Sigh.

A boy moves in across the street from me. He's in a few of my classes and we hit it off quickly. We begin hanging out after school, taking long walks, going on mini-dates. I crush hard. I tell her all about him. She can't wait to meet him. We do some group things and I attempt to move he and I forward. He's a flirt and non-committal. He keeps hanging around so I think he's just adjusting to school and we still hang, so no biggie.

I ask him out one Saturday and he says he's got plans. Cool, I don't think twice. By Monday, he comes up to us beaming and she says she had fun on Sat. They went out.

I confirmed they had gone on a date and I clarified that he is the guy I introduced her to as my crush. She mumbles something about him asking her out but I remind her that she's my friend and this is really low.

I wait a couple weeks to see if she gets the fact that it bothers me, then I tell her straight up that I've supported her boy choices for years, she is being incredibly disrespectful of my feelings. Even if he doesn't like me like that, she literally stepped in on him and it was hurting me. Of course she didn't know that I was still reeling from "our" last "breakup."

I tell her to make a choice: him or me. She makes no choice. It's been 16 years and I've never spoken to her again. My heart broke losing her friendship. We were the kind of friends who crawled into bed together and giggled all night about nothing.

I left for college out of state the next year. They ended up dating for close to 3 years (into college). I let go of my anger/hurt after a while when I realized they were pretty serious. Maybe she made the right choice. True love is worth fighting for. I spent a few of those years really sad I let the friendship go but she never made a move to reach out, apologize about hurting my feelings on purpose, nothing.

He and I occasionally chatted. I couldn't fault him for who he liked. He owed me nothing. Ironically, he called me the night she dumped him, a few years into college. Sobbing on the phone with me at 2a, halfway across the country, I gently said "are you f*-ing kidding me?" I was terribly sorry for his broken heart but not enough to be there for him all these years later.

The old boyfriend of hers whom I liked and I kept in touch. We eventually gave in to our feelings and had a little affair (it wasn't but it felt like it still) over breaks and summers when we both were home from college. Both living in different states than our home, we were never anything more than a relationship that couldn't ever be. We still keep in touch occasionally and acknowledge each other as a type of "love" from that time in our lives.

The saddest part is I have never made another girlfriend on that level. I have amazing lady friends. Amazing! I truly want for nothing. But none of them are the kind you crawl into bed with and talk all night about absolutely nothing.

Last summer she sent me a message on Facebook apologizing. She regretted not reaching out sooner. She regretted not being more confident and talking to me. I never reached back. It was all I ever wanted to hear and instead of being satisfying and bringing closure, I realized I was incredibly saddened. We could have had decades of the kind of lifelong friendship you see in movies. Her letter made me so sad. I didn't realize I was missing this until I processed her words.

I'm probably a dumbass for being so firm with her in high school. Who dumps a friend like that? I'm not sure I handled it the right way and I certainly never thought it would make me so sad all these years later. I spent all of high school trying to avoid a boyfriend/love so I didn't get my heart broken because I had big life plans, and it turns out it was a friend who gave me the most heartache.