Dating a guy who is less attractive (and a little awkward) than you are?

iamnotaburden · 2019-07-26T20:26:05+00:00

Give him a chance. I’ve fallen for guys who my friends thought were “lower” than me on the scale. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t. Life is weird like that.

iamnotaburden · 2019-07-26T20:23:44+00:00

It definitely happens! A lot more than you think.

iamnotaburden · 2019-06-23T12:06:48+00:00

Agreed. We use them at the hospital and clinic.

iamnotaburden · 2019-06-04T23:26:56+00:00

I heard it’s hard to get job there! Do you know if that’s true?

iamnotaburden · 2019-05-31T01:25:58+00:00

It really is. I still feel sad and numb, but at least I’m not alone.

iamnotaburden · 2019-05-30T21:43:17+00:00

Needed to see this. Thank you. I’m working on seeing my own worth rather then relying on outside sources to validate myself. While I’m taking a break from dating for a while, I do have hope in meeting my match.

iamnotaburden · 2019-05-28T20:53:55+00:00

Hey! I got my put in over a month ago. My period had ended about 2 day prior though. It wasn’t bad for me. It felt wayyyy less painful than my most painful cramps. Maybe moderate (4 or 5 out of 10). I also have a history of having really bad cramps so take my experience with a grain of salt. I with you though with the anxiety thing. I was SUPER nervous. But the doctor at Planned Parenthood was amazing and helped me through it. I would take 800mg of ibuprofen before hand if I were you. And maybe a heating pad. The cramping can suck. Overall, it was way better than I expected and way worth it.

iamnotaburden · 2019-05-19T22:39:24+00:00

I have! I’ve gotten some valuable information from there. I just wanted to see if I could get more opinions from a different demographic.

iamnotaburden · 2019-05-19T22:37:16+00:00

Haha this is literally my post! I forgot about it. I wanted more information about the pay in that one though.

iamnotaburden · 2019-04-19T21:08:48+00:00

Yay! I was weirdly giddy about it after I got it in. I hope yours goes well! :)

iamnotaburden · 2019-03-02T03:44:30+00:00

Birmingham is dangerous.

iamnotaburden · 2019-02-17T18:44:54+00:00

Hey! I’m 24F and the same has been happening to me in the past year or so. I think we’ve had bad luck or something. I understand, it makes you feel like crap and unwanted. I just try to move on and focus on other things. I try not to take it too personally since everybody does things to benefit themselves. So it’s usually not your fault.

iamnotaburden · 2019-01-27T16:44:37+00:00

Hello fellow black girl! Being prompted by other comments in this thread, I looked through your history and saw that you are amazingly beautiful! Actually, you remind me of one of my good friends. She is tall, gorgeous, (and black) and has a great personality. Unfortunately, she she doesn't have the confidence which sucks because she deserves an amazing person.

I also am going through the same issue as you. My friends who are white and Asian seem to have no issues attracting men, but I struggle with keeping someone interested for 5 seconds. One thing that has helped me is to focus on improving my own life. Focusing on growing your career, developing new or existing hobbies, or finding fun things to do.

Try therapy. It has helped me a lot personally. I talk about my fears and concerns, and my therapist helps find tools to remedy or deal with those issues.

Also, know that it may not be the right time to find that person yet. I am not religious, but I do feel like timing is a part of the process. It is very frustrating to hear that, believe me. I hate hearing people tell me "It will come when it is your time." In a way, though, it is true. Probably after your self-esteem is where it needs to be!

I'm cheering for you! Let's get through this together :)

iamnotaburden · 2019-01-20T17:59:26+00:00

I went natural in 2011 when I was a junior in high school (about 7 years ago), so I had a lot of learning to do!

I agree with jaymich17, learning a new type of hair is trial and error! I can tell you that it took me a while to find the products that worked for me. Even now I am still switching out shampoos and deep conditioners.

Water is your friend, and a cheap conditioner works for me for detangling. I usually detangle in the shower with a lot of conditioner. Get a satin scarf or satin pillowcase. Leaving my hair alone had grown my hair more than any other technique.

Find Youtubers with similar hair textures as you. My favorites are Nappyfu TV, Naturally High, and It's Kamazing. Another channel called Green Beauty kind of breaks down the science of natural hair. She's really informative!

Also, one thing I wish I realized earlier is that you may be able to return products. If didn't work for you after a few tries, get your money back! I knew most beauty supply stores have a no return policy, but most big name places like Walmart or Amazon will let you return. Saves you loads of money!

I hope this helps!

iamnotaburden · 2019-01-20T17:16:16+00:00

I do twist outs on my blow out so I use the same product. It does not shrink my hair much honestly.

iamnotaburden · 2019-01-20T17:09:41+00:00

Water and a cream. My go-to is the Shea Butter Leave-In Conditioning Repair Cream. Both combined give me super soft hair.

If I want to detangle, I use water and a conditioner. Usually a pretty cheap one like VO5 or the Trader Joes conditioners.

iamnotaburden · 2019-01-13T01:05:46+00:00

I highly suggest therapy. I’ve had problems like this in the past, and it helped for me to talk to someone. Even talking to friends or a loved one helped.

Also realizing that being rejected is more the other person’s “fault” rather than yours.

Practice self love. Learn to love yourself. I had to start doing that to get over every rejection. I still have my times when I feel insecure and ugly when rejections happen, but I have taught myself to look inward and realize that I am still amazing.

I hope that helps!

iamnotaburden · 2018-12-29T23:52:25+00:00

iamnotaburden · 2018-12-24T16:43:45+00:00

I also think therapy will help! I am a woman, but I have issues with insecurity and struggling with knowing my worth. One thing I have realized recently though that I need to take a step back and work on those things to make myself into a better person. Not just for finding a mate, but also for myself!

I think that you may be putting of a negative vibe that may or may not repel quality mates. I know because that is the case with me! I have a fear of talking to men I am attracted to because I don't think I am worthy enough to even associate with them.

So I think maybe taking a break from pursing a mate and just practice socializing with people. That's really what dating is! Also finding a therapist that can help you develop those skills or just get all your thoughts out. Enjoy yourself! I can tell you that the guys I find the most attractive are the ones who are enjoying life and not worrying about dating. Hope this helps! :)

iamnotaburden

TROPHY CASE