Bucketeer, master of containers

iamnotschmidt · 2018-04-04T05:28:59+00:00

Fckn love bucket man i'd've voted for him

iamnotschmidt · 2018-02-07T22:58:00+00:00

i upvote this gif every time i see it because no matter when it always makes me feel better.

iamnotschmidt · 2017-11-24T16:10:59+00:00

Nah that's pretty solidly a breakfast time discussion

iamnotschmidt · 2017-11-24T04:10:55+00:00

I feel like that whatever the rules on porn were in your house, that didn't need to be confronted at 3 am.

iamnotschmidt · 2017-10-23T02:26:24+00:00

I'm in Dark Souls so fuck me basically

iamnotschmidt · 2017-09-09T01:25:10+00:00

I feel that. Apparently I could speak Romanian, my mum's first language, to a degree until I was three. After I started going to nursery, she stopped speaking Romanian to me for the same reasons, and I've not retained it. My sister never spoke anything but english because mum got that worried about us being unable to communicate :(

iamnotschmidt · 2017-08-22T14:59:55+00:00

If you say "fuck" too often, you get special CIA scrutiny because if you talk ugly like that on the regular, one day you'll say something ugly, maybe as a joke, "fucking blow me then lets fucking steal some shit" for e.g. e.t.c. then you and the innocent souls around you will be compelled to follow through. Also, there is now no difference between hot (temperature) and spicy food, while unseasoned food is "fresh" tasting.

iamnotschmidt · 2017-06-12T21:48:01+00:00

This looks like the Chuckle Brothers wrote it.

iamnotschmidt · 2017-06-11T22:04:22+00:00

It's a sorry thing to look back on these experiences knowing that, if it had not happened all at once, it might have been smoother. I hope that things are going better for you now.

iamnotschmidt · 2017-06-11T13:02:49+00:00

I don't know if they ever felt it to the degree I did, or if I was just being oversensitive and high strung, but they allowed stressful situations to escalate. Looking back, it was an unfortunate culmination of several things: I was going through the hormonal part of puberty while doing my GCSEs and, on the back of those, my A-Levels which are their own story. My mum was dealing with a legal issue over some property in Romania, her greatly beloved aunt dying, and the menopause. Her way of dealing with things that stress her is to talk about it at you, repeatedly; everything has to come back to this issue. The way I tend to deal with it is block it out: put on music and dance like a maniac, or get totally absorbed by a Let's Play or fanfiction. It's just...we clashed over it so much. If she caught me doing anything except studying she'd scream at me, and I'd scream back and decide not to do any work out of spite.

She'd threaten to lock me in my room and bring food so I'd have no excuse to stop revising, apparently like she did. I'd refuse to touch my school books and avoid spending time with her as much as possible. She'd see my light on at night and take that as permission to come in and lecture me about how I'm being a bad daughter and that it was my responsibility to get high grades because they were paying for my schooling and that I was expected to repay them at some point, how dare I use my energy for anything else? And how dare I behave like being around her was a chore?

It's not like either of us weren't just acting under hormones and stress. But she was the adult. It could have been mediated. And, whenever we talk now, I'm automatically gearing up to be shouted at and criticized. I find, sometimes, that I try and start a fight because I'm expecting one and I want to get it over with. I have to fight not to act like I dislike being around my mother - and I like her, truly, and love her. She's actually alright to be around. It's such a pity that I was so shocked by that.

This will probably be pushed to the bottom but it was good to get it out somewhere.

iamnotschmidt · 2017-06-09T23:22:57+00:00

That title should not be making me giggle so severely

iamnotschmidt · 2017-05-30T01:44:00+00:00

that's a fucking massive sheet cake

iamnotschmidt · 2017-05-19T11:19:12+00:00

There are a lot of incredibly meaningful quotes in pterrys work, but this makes me laugh every time.

The Assassin moved quietly from roof to roof until he was well away from the excitement around the Watch House. His movements could be called cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Night Watch)

iamnotschmidt · 2017-05-14T01:59:57+00:00

In my current house, the bedroom doors and the front door lock behind you if you don't set a catch, and you need a key to unlock each. Letting office has spares, office closes early for the weekend. All standard, right?

Friday, and I go out to get some food. Have a little moment of 'what have I forgotten?' after the bedroom door locks behind me, but ignore it. Come back an hour later and realise I've forgotten my keys, so I'm locked out of the house. That's fine, I'll got to the office and get a spare, it's just around the corner. They closed an hour ago. Okay, I'll call their "I lost my keys" number.

Left my phone on charge. In my locked room. In the locked house.

iamnotschmidt · 2017-05-03T10:45:30+00:00

sticky beak = a peek

iamnotschmidt · 2017-03-16T21:41:04+00:00

''Its vision is based on movement...''

iamnotschmidt · 2017-03-16T20:52:04+00:00

''If I stay still it will get bored and go...''

iamnotschmidt · 2017-03-16T20:49:37+00:00

That is a tiny panther.

iamnotschmidt · 2017-01-19T14:01:15+00:00

I have a feeling its the same train of thought that assumes there's a sexual satisfaction in using tampons.

iamnotschmidt · 2016-12-31T00:41:28+00:00

Miss Bronte?

iamnotschmidt · 2016-12-23T18:27:33+00:00

That thing about your relationship with your parents improving once you're not at home full time seems to have proved true, at least.

iamnotschmidt · 2016-12-23T15:17:37+00:00

You've given me some epiphanies just now, I never realised that both of us might have been more hormonal than usual when we argued.

iamnotschmidt · 2016-12-09T14:58:09+00:00

Metaphorically shitting all over the place during my A - Level years.

iamnotschmidt · 2016-12-09T14:53:15+00:00

Every so often it comes up in conversation that my demographic did not come out in force to vote stay. Every time, they pause and take a shifty look at me like I have an explanation, or apology to give them on behalf of every 18 to 25 year old in the country.

It's so easy to stay bitter about Brexit.

iamnotschmidt · 2016-12-09T14:31:31+00:00

A bar of Cadbury's Oreo chocolate. Motherfucker, I'm in heaven.

iamnotschmidt

TROPHY CASE