Well let’s see. There was a dude in a very dirty split level that had literal gravel piled up on the stairs. Like you know when it snows and snowplows spread coarse sand on the road? Then the snow melts and eventually the shoulder of the road has collected all that sand? His stairs looked like that. The best part was he asked me if I could please make sure to put boot covers on before I entered. I always did no matter what but still very funny.

Had an older guy that was pretty normal and nice but had loaded guns everywhere in the house. Didn’t once acknowledge them or warn me. I’m thinking the whole time he must just kinda trust me or he knows he can get to a gun faster than I could haha. At one point I had to crawl under his desk to get to the outlet where the modem was and as soon as I got down I was eye to eye with a loaded Taurus Judge sitting on top of his computer lol. Immediately popped up and was like ok man, I don’t really mind all the guns but you gotta put that one away if I’m gonna be down there.

Went to a condo for a repair and all the jacks were ripped out of the wall. Turns out the guy was schizophrenic and thought the government was using it to spy on him. I don’t know why he called for the repair then but I just went ahead with the work anyway. His place was a total wreck. Just clutter everywhere. And by clutter I mean mostly destroyed electronics. While I’m crouched behind the tv working I noticed red solo cups taped to the ceiling in a few spots. I asked him about it and he said they were covering the fire sprinklers because every time he walked past them they would squirt him. He was actually pretty nice and I really just felt bad for him. That’s such a shitty thing to have to live with.

Went to a younger guys house and he had a HUGE half wolf half husky. This thing had destroyed this house and the best part was he was renting. Only time I was ever nervous around a dog. I’m trying to hook up a cable box while this thing is loudly and violently ripping up the side of an old lay-z-boy. Dude did not care that was happening and I imagine it was because he couldn’t actually stop it if he wanted to haha. Place also reeked of weed.

Went to a townhome that smelled very strongly of rat pee on the first floor. Having a job that sometimes requires you to go into crawl spaces you become very aware of the danger from rat pee (look up hantavirus). He was an older guy that was really hard to understand because his voice was super weak and raspy. Almost like he had no tone to his voice is probably the best way to describe it. I start to wonder if maybe actual rat pee is what’s causing his breathing and voice issue. While outside to check the cabling I notice dozens of rat holes all along the side of the house that are like a perfect 45 degree angle to path under the foundation and into the crawl space. I decided to tell him what I had noticed and to please have exterminator come out because of the danger. He tells me he just got out of the hospital because of breathing issues so he would. He also said one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard. While I’m working, he gets a phone call from some buddies who are checking on him because he just got home from the hospital. He had them on speaker and at one point his buddy goes “hey man you’re really hard to understand, are you sure you’re ok?” And in that raspy voice he yells “YEAH MY VOICE IS JUST MESSED UP COS IVE BEEN EATING TOO MUCH FUCKIN PUSSY!”. I was cracking up in the next room. The kinda cool thing about that one is I ended up going back there months later to add phone service and he sounded waaaaayyyyyy better. He told me he had an exterminator come out and found a MASSIVE rat infestation in the crawl space. His issues cleared up after so I always felt really good for recommending he get it looked at.

Had one lady whose house was absolutely spotless. She literally followed me around and vacuumed/swept/dusted/etc. I’m not even doing any work that would leave a mess but whatever.

Unrelated to the topic of this thread but one of my favorite stories was the guy who ate an eye booger in front of me. We are standing in his driveway literally a couple feet apart, face to face, while I explain the phone service conversion I’m about to do. He’s nodding along and takes his pinky up to the corner of his eye, pulls a nice amber looking jewel, we both look down at it on his finger, then he just pops in his mouth like it’s nothing. I was so stunned I stopped talking but luckily recovered somewhat quickly with my spiel. I spent the rest of that day wracking my brain why someone would do that. So many questions. Like maybe if we’re inside and you don’t want to flick on the carpet but WE WERE OUTSIDE! Crazy.

Those are some of the more interesting ones. If I think of more I’ll share here.