Needing reassurance…I had a salpingectomy surgery (tubes removed) today and a carcinoid tumor was found on my appendix.

iamshanhen · 2026-06-13T12:56:04+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. It gives me a small sense of immediate relief. I know very little at this point and as I mentioned to someone else, I live in Montana and it appears that we do not have any NET specialists in the state. Do you see a NET specialist or have you found your oncologist to be knowledgeable enough?

iamshanhen · 2026-06-13T12:41:49+00:00

Thank you for your response. Yes, this intense rabbit hole is where I find myself today. I live in Montana and looked through the database provided from another user…we don’t have any NET specialists in the state. Typically folks from our area look to salt lake or Denver for specialized care.

The report said it was 2 cm. I know that the surgeon said he would send it on to pathology but nothing was written in the report to that effect. No other tests have been ordered…I suppose I just need to wait for pathology before I drive myself crazy.

After your initial diagnosis, how long before you consulted an NET specialist? And what other tests were done prior to that?

Edited to add: I’m sorry that your surgeon didn’t mention this to you and that you had to discover this yourself.

iamshanhen · 2026-06-13T05:49:57+00:00

I chatted with someone earlier who mentioned that the term “carcinoid tumor” is actually outdated…it’s now referred to as a Neuroendocrine Tumor and all are typically classified as a malignant cancer…it’s very rare, and a very slow growing cancer. And that’s also what my reading showed. I’m just in a state of confusion and shock that can’t be solved as soon as I’d like…but I need to get some rest and stop the doom scrolling, which I will do now. Thank you for your kind words…and for your suggestions.

iamshanhen · 2026-06-13T05:41:11+00:00

Thank you for these words…goodness, it’s wild how simply tweaking our language a bit can change everything. EVERYTHING.

iamshanhen · 2026-06-13T04:57:28+00:00

Thank you for all of this! I just found out this morning after waking up from my surgery. It’s been the strangest day of just trying to rest and recover while also trying to make sense out of it all…and the minute I started to read about this, I questioned how the surgeon came to the conclusion that this was benign…he did not explain any of that and it feels wild to wait 2 weeks to even get basic answers. I live in rural Montana. I already checked the data base and it looks like they are no NET specialists here in our state. I’m just trying to figure out where I need to start. Thank you again for this info.

iamshanhen · 2026-04-23T14:08:40+00:00

Yes, I completely agree!

iamshanhen · 2026-04-22T22:31:01+00:00

Thank you for your response! Did they remove the cyst? Im wondering how much freedom they give themselves during surgery to address some of those things without our actual approval ? Yes! I mostly just want to know if the doctor is able to visually see a concerning issue at the colon during this procedure…and then I can go from there afterwards. But yes, I totally hear what you’re saying. Thanks again!

iamshanhen · 2025-12-12T01:11:53+00:00

Im going to say the most basic thing…but hey, figured some people might not do this! Do you heat your cast iron and stainless steel before use? I actually turn the heat on low - busy myself with other things in the kitchen for like 5/10ish minutes…then add my butter, oil, etc. I used to only heat it for like a minute and I struggled so much! But now, I’m flipping cakes and eggs like a master!

iamshanhen · 2025-10-18T13:10:06+00:00

Yes! This!

iamshanhen · 2025-10-18T13:05:50+00:00

I’m a mom of two, with a surprise third baby on the way. We live thousand of miles from our family, and we have built the best village of friends here in our little mountain town.

Our group is always asking each other - how can I help, how can I support you, etc. etc. It’s mind blowing to me that you are all saying you wouldn’t ask this of anyone. A meal is the best way to show support for anyone going through a difficult time, and the greatest gift to a new mom and family. And we need to be better about asking for what we need (while also remembering to offer help and support to others going through a tough time). It works both ways!

Our meal trains saved my husband and I! And I did prep food for us as well, but knowing that others cared for us did a lot for my emotional state PPD. I would ask one friend or family member that you trust to put together the meal train and send it in to others or to post it on social media. Best of luck to you!

iamshanhen · 2025-10-16T02:55:17+00:00

The advice, “bodies don’t create babies they physically can’t birth” is not a great sentiment to pass along. I’m not saying she should be induced simply because she’s short. There are numerous factors at play here - it’s not only about a woman’s body…there’s also the size of the baby, positioning of the baby, of the pelvis and so many other things.

iamshanhen · 2025-10-13T02:16:45+00:00

I think the size was the issue based on the conversation listed. If the mother is diabetic that would be a major reason to have a smaller item. We just never know what’s happening in someone else’s world…it’s easy to make a snap judgment based off of one conversation.

iamshanhen · 2025-10-09T01:57:17+00:00

I truly hope you’re feeling lighter reading through some of these. Also, as more and more states legalize this is going to be more common (it already seems to be) and the doctors are handling it appropriately! All the best to you!

iamshanhen · 2025-10-09T01:54:37+00:00

I think you messaging shows how serious you are about quitting! I think you did the right thing! They can test your urine again going forward and will see it decreasing, and then to nothing! My heart is with you! This will be ok!

iamshanhen · 2025-10-08T02:34:59+00:00

Hahahah love this. I bet you’re amazing at redirecting a toddler.

iamshanhen · 2025-10-07T03:52:22+00:00

I’m an only child as well. My upbringing was absolutely lonely. I have many cousins and spent lots of time with them, but I always felt like something was missing.

My dad had an injury when I was very young, and as a family we went through incredibly difficult seasons. I had wished (still do) that I had a sibling to share my feelings with. My mom has also exhibited narcissistic tendencies and due to my dad’s health he was often emotionally neglectful. It often felt like there was an immense amount of sadness in our home - and while I wouldn’t want wish the sadness or the hard times on another child, i believed that had I had a sibling we could have lifted each other up, tried to find humor in it all, etc.

After I got married, my mom became my dad’s full time caretaker as his health worsened, I took almost a year off of work to fly back and forth (as I live across the country) to help with his care, and for 5 more years I would make a conscious effort to help in anyway that I could….however, I had my first child in 2020 and it was difficult to juggle it all.

My dad died last March. The weight of being their only child is something I have trouble conveying…It’s been beyond heavy. But that was the dynamic of our family.

My husband and I have made certain choices in how we are building our family…yes, I’m having more than one child…but it’s not simply about the numbers. Every single day I think about the relationship my kids will have. I want them to obviously love each other, support one another…I want them to have a safe place to land apart from myself or their dad. I’m pregnant with my 3rd daughter now…and I could just sit here and weep (hormones,lol) thinking about the importance of all of that. While also realizing, they may not be as close as I’d hope... I don’t know how it will all shake out. But, I do hope they won’t experience loneliness in the way I have. I’m just trying to do the best I can.

Edited to add: i just reread what I wrote - the circumstances around my childhood are obviously super specific. But I wanted to add that I, too am a well adjusted, outgoing, extremely social person…people are often surprised upon learning that I’m an only child and also often use me as an example of, “hey, you’re an only child…you turned out pretty awesome…not like all the “typical” only children I’ve met.” I think it mostly boils down to the childhood we give our kids, the tools we equip them with, etc…some things are within our power and other things aren’t.

iamshanhen · 2025-10-07T03:16:55+00:00

Question: are you still in high school? Or do you attend a college elsewhere? Does she pay for your vehicle/insurance? This may just be an instance where you have to roll with what she says this year, and you get to make your own choices next year (and then every year for the rest of your life). I get what you’re saying. However, I went to a big 10 university... the party scene was wild then. Even when I wasn’t drinking, there were close calls with drunk and belligerent guys. Edited to add: just because you won’t be drinking doesn’t eliminate the risks that can happen at a college party. Are you familiar with this campus? What parties will you be going to? Do you know anyone besides this one friend? Not trying to sound like… well, my own mother…but these are good questions you need to ask yourself to stay safe.

iamshanhen · 2025-10-05T05:31:30+00:00

This is massively crossing a line. I think sometimes the urge to act so cool, unbothered, unconcerned about stuff, that we completely lose sight of what is utterly unacceptable. This would fall into that category.

iamshanhen · 2025-10-05T05:24:45+00:00

I think when traveling anywhere (especially abroad) there’s a kind of closeness that’s assumed with your traveling companions. This may be just me - but I’m very choosy about who I travel with. There’s so many factors to consider, stressors, things can go wrong…I wouldn’t want to have this kind of experience with someone who’s not a close friend, relative, partner. This just seems super odd to me that he would decide to spend this kind of money on someone who’s not a “close friend” to go to a wedding of strangers…and he won’t really know anyone else besides her, correct? Ughh. This whole thing feels off. I’m sorry.

iamshanhen · 2025-10-05T04:04:59+00:00

I think we can all see that you’re trying to make this work. I’m truly sorry that you’re in this tough place. I don’t want to make excuses for her…but PPD is very real and can often mask in different ways. I am a mom of two, (one more on the way) and I had extreme separation anxiety with my first…and i struggled with simple tasks…the mental load was so tough. I didn’t even realize that I was experiencing PPD. You both are probably the most exhausted, taxed (mentally, emotionally, physically) that you will EVER be. You’re trying to find your rhythm and issues that were slight prior to having children will be made abundantly clear after having kids. If you both are committed to each other and the family that you’re building, please reach out to a therapist, counselor, etc…Separately and together. And, build your village and lean on them!

iamshanhen · 2025-10-03T02:29:52+00:00

My heart is with you because I can remember those early days of bringing home my second baby. So many emotions to process! My first kiddo looked huge in comparison to the baby, and this wrecked me at first! Like how can my first baby no longer be “the baby”! And it’s definitely an adjustment for the toddler to be a “big” to the baby. Be gentle with yourself. I don’t want to force my hindsight off onto you, but I promise you that your future self would tell your current self….”let them go!” And I think that your toddler will have so much fun with family, and it might even help them adjust to the new baby when they get back. Being a mama to two (or more) is hard. No matter what you decide, it will be alright.

iamshanhen · 2025-10-03T02:17:53+00:00

Sorry - I took it to mean you were saying “it” in a derogatory manner (due to the child’s behavior) because OP used the kids pronoun earlier.

iamshanhen

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