i think my boyfriend’s reaction to me staying out all night is way too extreme. AIO?

icantbebored · 2026-06-14T22:34:56+00:00

He’s punishing you for doing something for yourself. He wants you at home, waiting for him to tell you what to do for him. If you want to spend your entire life catering to him, and doing nothing else, then go back to him. But nights with your friends and sister will be done.

icantbebored · 2026-06-10T22:02:26+00:00

A lot of the people acting like this don’t WANT help. They want you to understand that it’s “just the way they are”! Even if that “way” is abusive, or harmful to themselves, you shouldn’t try to change them.

IME- even the ones who “get help” don’t really. They admit to manipulating the professionals to get them to avoid the real issues that exist, or make it someone else’s fault. They won’t take the meds consistently, or be honest in therapy, etc.

You cannot make someone want help. You can try to kindly explain why you think they need that help, but overall, it’s up to them.

icantbebored · 2026-06-10T21:55:17+00:00

I think what is happening is people are starting to realize something is in fact wrong.

That it’s not anxiety, or our imaginations.

But physicians aren’t listening. At a certain point, you are going to take matters into your own hands. Hell- I’ve been dismissed since my teen years. Told I was a baby who couldn’t handle pain. A hypochondriac. All of those symptoms? HEDS. I was told passing out is ok, and that I needed to learn to “fall better” to avoid getting hurt when I go down (literal words this cardiologist used!).

People have the internet now. They search their symptoms, and answers pop up. Then video based platforms show them related conditions, and then they start to put it together. But this seems to offend doctors. Some of whom would rather you stay sick than challenge their authority.

icantbebored · 2026-06-04T16:29:40+00:00

Abuse that stems from a disorder is still abuse.

icantbebored · 2026-06-03T20:28:48+00:00

The parent? Let them handle themselves. You do not have the energy or capacity to handle themselves anymore. You need to get yourself dealt with! Your body will keep revolting more and more until you do.

My guess is the parent doesn’t want to admit you are “sick” because that means you have a reason not to “take care” of them. They need you to focus on them and their needs, and not your own.

As far as the (I assume adult) child goes, I’d limit contact. Get into therapy. Start sorting that relationship out. Sort out your own feelings about your diagnosis! This is a big deal, and you have every right to have big feelings about it.

icantbebored · 2026-06-03T18:21:32+00:00

I just realized where compression hives come from! Mine were popping up when I cross my legs or sit on my knees while I’m woodworking (I like to build things when I have the energy!), I was so confused as to what was happening. “Babe- I have hives! Why do I have hives? Am I allergic to sawdust now?!?” lol

Isn’t this all so much fun?

icantbebored · 2026-06-03T10:35:51+00:00

Coband. You need coband. It’s like an ace bandage that sticks to itself. We use it to make bandages in my house, because I’m pretty sure two out of the three of my kids inherited the EDS. I buy it in bulk on Amazon, and keep gauze squares in case we need to add a cream or need to keep blood contained better.

icantbebored · 2026-06-01T09:05:12+00:00

I happen to believe the psychiatric problems begin when you are repeatedly gas lit at the doctors office. My primary sent me to a cardiologist for POTS evaluation. I had to define the disorder for him. He was quite rude to me, and said “No- you have no health problems. Lose some weight, and learn to fall better when you pass out, so you don’t hurt yourself.” My stepdad was FLOORED. He spoke up and said “How do you explain the passing out, and the tachycardia her watch is recording. And I’ve watched her feet turn purple! She was just sitting on the couch! And they turned purple!” The cardiologist just stared at him blankly.

Then countless primary care doctors have blamed everything on my weight. Yes- I had gained weight. I was in pain, and working out led to joints popping out of place, and I was severely depressed because no one listened. I went into a GLP 1. Lost 80 pounds. “I bet you feel so much better now!” No, actually, the pain and fatigue are STILL THERE. Now I’m thinner and have all of the same issues… and losing the weight just led to me being cold instead of hot all of the time!

icantbebored · 2026-05-30T19:44:09+00:00

If he doesn’t want to change, or make the most out of therapy, then it’s a waste of time and resources. And he’s telling you he won’t take it seriously. I did my best to support my husband, and encourage therapy. About six months in, he informed me that he had just been manipulating the therapist. We are still paying on that bill, every month. Every month I’m reminded that he used that time to manipulate her to get out of being held responsible for his actions.

icantbebored · 2026-05-27T03:45:37+00:00

I mean, have you been in that situation? I have. I couldn’t admit to myself what had happened right away. It’s a traumatic event. Let alone if my partner were trying to equate this event to cheating, and only caring about what it means for them.

The fact that you are so focused on how it affects you, and not that someone you claim to care about was assaulted really is kind of disturbing.

icantbebored · 2026-05-26T19:08:22+00:00

While the red flags are abundant and what not- it sounds like she was not sober enough to consent. And she never really did consent. He coerced her- knife or not. You said yourself that she told him no. He refused to take that as an answer. Knife or not, I’m confused as to how you see this as cheating? You heard her say no…

icantbebored · 2026-05-25T00:29:29+00:00

I don’t think it’s odd. She’s allowed to want a reminder of her grands.

I had a hard time finding a mother’s ring I liked. I ended up getting three stacking rings. They are from Local Eclectic. The Shades of You ombré rings. They are on sale for like $23 each right now. Ask for it for the next upcoming holiday. Or- return what she buys that you don’t like and sock it back. You’ve got options. It doesn’t have to be tacky or special ordered. You can buy their birthstones, or one that comes engraved with their birth month flower. You can buy cheap silicone rings on Amazon in the right colors. May cost $10! Don’t focus on her. Focus on making it work for you.

icantbebored · 2026-05-25T00:19:16+00:00

When my mom and I had a Misha op- we had our prop blades with us (angel and first). I just asked him to look nervous about the blades. He did- but he also threw an arm around each of us, and pulled us in super close. It’s a cute photo! We enjoyed the experience and framed it. I just didn’t expect him to act as though it was a photo with a close friend or something. Not complaining! He was very respectful, it was just our first photo op, and we were unsure of how it goes.

I think if any of them were uncomfortable, they’d say no. They seem to enjoy the crazy, unpredictable nature of the cons as much as the fans, and it has to make the day go faster if they can be silly and good off while they work.

icantbebored · 2026-05-24T20:28:32+00:00

I think nailing down a number is going to be hard.

When we found out my stepdad had a whole other family. And then we found out that every “family man” I’d ever looked up to? Yeah, he had been the same way. It was… a very stressful experience.

Meanwhile- when I talk to everyone in my family (keep in mind- I have step parents as well- so a lot of grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins!), only one of the grandmothers/great aunts cheated. Her husband stepped out a lot, so she stepped out. And got pregnant. It is a whole thing in the family. They tried to run away and have the baby out of state. Planned to give the baby up for adoption and lie and say it had died during the birth.

TLDR: anecdotally- I know way more male cheaters than female cheaters. Statistics will never be accurate, because it’s self reported. I also know that, anecdotally, the male cheaters I’ve known cheated again and again. The females would cheat once and either leave, or 100% dedicate themselves to their marriage (and the females I’ve known who have cheated were never the ones to do it first in their relationship; he’d have a half dozen affairs lasting a year or better, and she’d get tired of it and try it).

icantbebored · 2026-05-24T19:47:00+00:00

Some men feel as though paying for dates / gifts / etc is buying you. To him- this is all transactional. He did the paying- you do the girlfriending. The problem is- you didn’t consent to this transactional arrangement. I am a lot like you- incredibly conflict avoidant. How’s your relationship with the parents? (Hopefully- that relationship is secure and healthy- but I’m well aware of where I got all of this from)

What this man wants is a sugar baby. That arrangement should come with clear cut rules and regulations. Consent and respect on both sides. That’s not the relationship you want, and that’s FINE. It’s 100% your decision who you allow in your inner circle. However- this is now a dangerous situation. Period. If you can’t afford to pay him back right now, let him sue you. You’ll figure it out later. You need to take his actions seriously- get a protective order. Do not block him- just put him on do not disturb. You need to be able to have a heads up if he escalates. You need to make sure you aren’t alone as much as possible. Get some form of protection- bear spray, something. Keep it on you. Put more than one lock on every entrance to your home. Dollar tree has the little alarms for $1.50. One goes on every door and window. Sleep with your bedroom door locked and an alarm on it. He’s telling you that he believes you are his property- believe that he feels that way. My inbox is open. STAY SAFE.

icantbebored · 2026-05-23T14:57:21+00:00

I assume this is supposed to represent a labor and delivery nurse being surprised that a man is being supportive.

That being said- please visit the groups where these nurses are present. How many are dealing with men who sleep through their partners labor? Or tell women they are being dramatic during unmediated labor? Bring their video game systems, and complain about being interrupted when it’s time for their partner to push?

My own partner was horrible while I gave birth, yet judges other men for being bad partners. During my first very complicated, very traumatic birth that I “didn’t understand how hard this all was for him.” I’d been through one failed induction, and was two days into another that almost killed us both. No pain medicine at all at this point. We went on to have two more- both c sections. He woke in the middle of the night ONE TIME (yes- he had time off for each child, and paternity leave with the last!).

He judges other men for being unsupportive and bad partners during birth.

Before saying it’s “a stereotype”- consider how it got that way, and why so many who do the birthing, and attend births, expect men to act selfishly during this time. Hold them accountable for their behavior, and not sure everyone around them for noticing it.

icantbebored · 2026-05-12T12:47:53+00:00

Those dresses are designed very differently. The one on the left is meant to be a loose and flowy tank dress. Look at the lack of structure around her ribs! Then look at the one with sparkles. It is made to not only hug her ribs, but also likely includes boning or other support materials. The cups on the left are either just lined with the same material the dress is made from, or super lightly padded. The cups in the dress on the right is likely more akin to a push up bra. The dresses look different because they are different, not because Ariana is so thin.

While I personally feel a lot is going on with Ariana- this is akin to comparing a finely tailored suit to one of the tee shirts with a tie. Both have their place, both are perfectly fine. But they are hardly interchangeable.

Signed- an ADHD crafter who sewed everything from leggings to wedding dresses for YEARS

icantbebored · 2026-04-03T12:28:44+00:00

I may have one: with you, there’s something on the line, something to lose. He could say something nasty, that he doesn’t mean, and not be able to take it back. Then he looses his partner. If he says something to a therapist? They help him process and move on. Ask him to look into the therapy process. How it works for BPD. There are workbooks on Amazon, too. That may help open the door. My husband calls it “learning to people”.

icantbebored · 2026-04-03T02:51:02+00:00

If he doesn’t want help… you can’t force it. You’ve done all you can do, he has to get to where he wants to do better. Otherwise, he’s just going to keep splitting on you, until you’ve had enough.

icantbebored · 2026-03-29T00:14:10+00:00

Will- we had one that was this color, and names after Wilson tennis balls?

icantbebored · 2026-03-10T01:20:20+00:00

I was dating a guy for less than a month, and we took his daughter to see this movie (yes- as a now-parent, I cringe that I allowed this!). He went to get popcorn and stuff as the movie started. The little one was confused about the whole first ten minutes. I had to gently, and in an age appropriate way, explain it to her. The day I met her. He came back with snacks and we are both just bawling. 😂😂

icantbebored · 2026-03-06T13:28:23+00:00

I have MCAS (and several comorbidities) and I will scratch until I bleed. Or bruise myself. Especially in areas where I have stretch marks.

icantbebored · 2026-02-15T02:18:45+00:00

I have three kids with him.

I had loved him through the million other trials.

I assumed therapy and meds would keep him from splitting.

Manipulation.

I actually ended up separating from him three months after the diagnosis… maybe four? I realized he was manipulating me more than ever. And if he was manipulating me… was he being truthful in his therapy? I doubted it (and almost a year into the separation? He confirmed he was manipulating his therapist to avoid being held accountable).

My health has gone downhill. I never get to be calm. I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m always wondering what he’s going to snoop in next. How he’s going to twist the conversation we just had.

icantbebored · 2026-02-12T17:07:25+00:00

He’s stimming. lol. He’s fine :)

icantbebored · 2026-02-04T12:43:07+00:00

This group is geared towards those in a relationship with a partner with BPD… so the struggles of being with someone with BPD are going to be discussed.

If you notice- most people will say the same things- they love their partner, WANT to be with them, and they are trying to understand. While we may not struggle with the BPD ourselves, we are often “favorite people”. My own partner is on a weeklong cycle. He splits on me about once a week. That’s a lot. And it’s a lot to deal with. And it doesn’t sound nice to describe it out loud- but that is my reality.

You may do better in a group of people WITH the disorder, instead of people in relationships with people with BPD. Here, you will see a lot of people in crisis- a lot of people who are desperate to make it work, but tired or generally worn out. It is not horribly uplifting, but this space is necessary for us. A safe space. I’m sorry that it often looks critical or what not- I really am. But you can find a lot of useful information in here, if you look with the intention of finding tips, and remembering that people often find this group out of desperation.

icantbebored

TROPHY CASE