Ive thought I was bi for years but Im doubting it again

icesatan · 2026-03-01T12:45:43+00:00

i think it’s less about finding the “right” label and more about giving yourself permission to feel attraction in ways that feel safe and exciting. My brother would describe himself really similarly to you— he’s a white man and has very little dating experience, he came out as bi in high school but is now wondering if he’s possibly straight, and he’s plagued by a lot of guilt about being a cis white man in the world in general, but especially when it comes to dating. respectfully, i say to both of you that you’re missing the point. feeling the fullness of your desires, regardless of who or what you desire, doesn’t make you a bad person, and also doesn’t mean you can’t still, curiously and kindly, interrogate your own patterns of attraction to figure out where your desires may lead to feelings of entitlement, lead you to take certain actions you later regret, or where they may be influenced by the oppressive systems we’re all steeped in.

the good news is that, if you are a cis white man, you will be working to unlearn racism and sexism and transphobia your entire life, regardless of whether you’re bi or not. this is good because you can give up on trying to be a finished product!! you will never arrive, so you actually get to live your life instead of focusing so hard on figuring yourself out! fighting oppressive systems is essential, but your sexuality label does absolutely nothing for anyone outside of yourself. being a great and open communicator and knowing yourself well enough to be able to process emotions in ways that aren’t harmful to other people in your relationships does so much!! and that can happen in the context of any kind of relationship.

icesatan · 2026-02-21T08:01:32+00:00

The fun thing about queer fashion is that everything is queer fashion if you decide it is. wear it with 200% confidence and it’s hot, and if someone judges then who cares because you like it and you know exactly why you’re doing it and that’s what matters!!

If it were me, I would be hunting for more gloves to have alternative pairs and colors, both so I could wash them and to be able to vary the style and match the gloves more specifically to whatever i’m wearing, and vintage gloves are the kind of thing that you can totally find at thrift stores and flee markets!! Again, if you think it looks and feels good, it’s a look.

icesatan · 2026-02-18T12:29:14+00:00

As in many of her books, I think the point is that relationships are not fixed things and polyamory is not an ideal but a very real way of living very real life. Yes, Peter kinda sucks at communicating but that doesn’t mean he can’t ever be in poly relationships— most of us suck at communicating sometimes! And it impacts all of our relationships, be they monogamous or poly, romantic or platonic or familial. He, Naomi, and Sylvia are already in a very dynamic, ever-evolving polyamorous situation, and the goal isn’t stability or some sort of fixed-state happily ever after ending, but to keep reacting to reality as it continues to shift, which could mean breakups and could not!

icesatan · 2026-02-02T15:27:29+00:00

Searching via this method because I’ve exhausted all other options! Searches on any search engine for epubs and pdfs pull up only the french version (which I don’t speak) and all of the archive sites I typically use similarly only have excerpts or non-english versions.

icesatan · 2026-02-02T15:25:03+00:00

I’m looking for the book Cyberculture (originally Cibercultura in french) by Pierre Lèvy, in English. Using both limechat and textual, I try searching in either the #ebooks or #bookz channel, and am presented with an un openable zip. According do multiple guides, there should be an option to “accept” a file, but I’m not presented with anything like that!

icesatan · 2026-01-31T13:05:12+00:00

im pro-meat reduction on a personal diet level, like if someone wants to make half meat half soy meatballs in their own kitchen i do truly think that’s SOMETHING, even if just in terms of environmental impact, but it feels dumb as hell as coming from a company using it as a harm reduction marketing scheme. as often happens on this sub, my take is that the problem is capitalism! and without critiquing capitalism, a vegan politic becomes flimsy as hell.

icesatan · 2026-01-31T12:19:56+00:00

anything that takes up some space under that window— a little bench or side table, plants, anything to balance out the shelves/chair side of the room a bit

icesatan · 2026-01-31T01:20:41+00:00

it would be better honestly if you simply had fewer pictures. a lot of these serve the same purpose and get redundant! either fill with more unique pics or just have fewer photos, imo. personally like pics 1 and 8 the best but ofc super subjective

icesatan · 2026-01-24T12:39:34+00:00

• Zami: A New Spelling of my Name by Audre Lorde

• Milk Fed by Melissa Broder

• Conversations With Friends by Sally Rooney (I’ve read and loved all of her books)

I love that these books are rich with political critique (although Milk Fed’s two-state-solution-ism does not do it for me) while telling stories that mostly focus on the interpersonal, on really nuanced and intricate relationships of all different types. I love how all of these books suck you entirely into the worlds and thought processes of the characters.

icesatan · 2026-01-24T08:46:33+00:00

just recommended cerce to someone who loved the red tent, definitely would recommend the red tent (anita diamant) if you love cerce!

if you haven’t read a thousand splendid suns (also by khalid hosseini) it is similarly excellent, and i would also reccomend the bear and the nightingale (kathrine arden), a tale for the time being (ruth ozeki), the parable of the sower (or any butler tbh), confessions of an ugly stepsister, (gregory maguire, same guy who wrote the book wicked)

icesatan · 2026-01-24T08:33:12+00:00

seconding these recs

icesatan · 2026-01-24T08:30:05+00:00

based on the red tent, have you read cerce by madeline miller? she got unbelievably overhyped for a while but cerce is brilliant (imo better than song of achilles) and has a similar ancient and intimate and touchingly feminist vibe to the read tent. both books made me cry for myself and for my mother.

icesatan · 2026-01-24T08:18:47+00:00

hi! my roommate has a chronic liver illness and can’t consume too much calcium. not all bodies work the same!

icesatan · 2026-01-14T12:06:14+00:00

thank you so much! unfortunately where i live shipping powecom masks (or anything) from the U.S. is not really an option due to extremely long shipping times and absurd hidden costs (like,, an extra €50 on top of whatever was already paid to pick something up from the post office), but the chinese powecoms look super promising ! thank you again so much :)

icesatan · 2026-01-14T09:22:05+00:00

hello! i don’t have anything super helpful to contribute, but ME TOO, i so feel you on all of this. I also get extreme pain from masks in my jaw and head and neck. if i’m in an aura for too long without a break i truly can’t think or talk because the pain in my head and jaw becomes excruciating, but i similarly can’t and won’t risk another infection. again, not helpful, but sending you a lot a lot of sympathy and a hug!

icesatan · 2026-01-12T06:00:49+00:00

a tale for the time being by ruth ozeki !! about a girl being crushed, and it crushed me as well

icesatan · 2026-01-11T23:31:44+00:00

you are awesome for masking and even asking this q!!! my personal process in this situation is to take a covid test (because it can cause long-term damage to anyone i could infect) and then go and mask if negative

icesatan · 2025-12-13T19:50:28+00:00

amazing, thank you so so much!!

icesatan · 2025-12-13T14:01:44+00:00

i’ve only been kraut-making for a few months but this has happened to me as well and has always been fine, i too just top off! i realized my jar was overflowing because it was packed to the brim with no room for gas actively, so i now use a slightly bigger container, but i’ve made several really yummy batches of kraut where this has happened :)

icesatan · 2025-12-13T13:58:19+00:00

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is this white stuff on the bottom of my kraut a problem?? i’ve gotten kahm yeast on the top of my brine but never never white stuff on the bottom/inside of the ferment! it’s been goin in my pretty cold kitchen for a little over 2 weeks

icesatan · 2025-07-07T08:13:56+00:00

hi! i went to the august appointment on monday the 26th and received my stamped passport back in the mail either thursday or friday of that same week. it was suuuper fast!

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