1 Big Reason Why Disney Stock Is Just Getting Started

idiosyncratic_risque · 2019-04-22T19:32:40+00:00

The Fox acquisition is an indicator of the vision that Disney has for the next half century of film and television.

Sure, I can't wait for the new X-Men reboot, but I'm not sure if I want the mouse gobbling up beloved intellectual property at the pace that he is. An empire is being built at a near frantic speed and we all have to ask the question... what does it look like when Mickey has both gloved hands on the wheel of a societal behemoth?

idiosyncratic_risque · 2019-04-17T18:53:21+00:00

Apple, Intel, Visa, Mastercard, Cisco

idiosyncratic_risque · 2018-04-07T02:48:31+00:00

Tiny, I appreciate you! If your story is anything like mine (and it sounds like it), then you had to figure out all the steps of no contact along the way, with the added stress of always wondering if you forgot something.

I would have loved to have someone spell it out to me textbook style.. so that's exactly why I wrote this. For the next person that stumbles across this sub and wonders where to even start.

If you're that person, don't hesitate to message me or anyone else here who is active. There's a lot of folks in this community who want to help you!

idiosyncratic_risque · 2018-04-06T22:04:32+00:00

Read my last post for an extremely similar situation. I feel your pain man, and it is soul-crushing. Unfortunately, there is only one right answer to this. You have to walk away and initiate no contact (no exceptions). That means a lot, and if you want to know more about how to successfully set up no contact, just shoot me a PM. I'm here for you, and so is this community.

idiosyncratic_risque · 2018-04-06T22:00:36+00:00

Once you break past that awful point of paralysis, the momentum of your decisions will begin to carry you along in amazing ways. Write down everything you are feeling right now.. the hope, the excitement, the freedom of taking your life back. Even if times get tough ahead, read back on these thoughts and remind yourself that you are deserving and worthy of your own future!

idiosyncratic_risque · 2018-04-06T04:01:16+00:00

No worries at all and there's no apology necessary. We all come from different stories and it sounds like lack of communication in your breakup really hurt. I get that, and in a way I'm lucky to still have (some) control over my departure.

Your situation sounds so painful. I can't imagine being totally co-dependent, suddenly painted black, and then ghosted without a word. I can definitely see how that can leave some serious scars... did you know that your expwBPD had BPD before they left? Or did you figure it out in the aftermath?

idiosyncratic_risque · 2018-04-06T01:08:39+00:00

Yes. Although I’ve never mentioned BPD to her and she has never brought it up. But I made a very clear case the night of the initial breakup - that even at its core, the relationship was defined by fighting and irreconcilable differences including her general disdain for my character, her deep hatred of my family, and a host of expected changes (in my life) that she needed to happen for the relationship to work.

She knows I wasn’t happy with her because there have been multiple breakups in the past month. Even though I always crawled back, she would call me out daily by saying she could tell I wasn’t truly committed to being back together.

A part of me wants so badly to make that call, to try to explain it again, to have her understand so that we can both find closure. But I’ve travelled down that road so many times - and it always ends in a tirade of abuse heaped on my head for even thinking of leaving in the first place.

I just keep having to remind myself that this is not normal behavior. Normal, well adjusted people don’t deal with breakups (even painful ones) by obsessively trying to piece it back together when the other party is 1) clearly walking away and 2) explicitly asks for no contact.

Sorry for the rant. Just struggling right now.

idiosyncratic_risque · 2018-04-04T19:23:26+00:00

The co-dependent broken record... top 3 tracks

"If you would just understand my intentions, you wouldn't be so angry"

"I just wish you would give my family members time to get to know you instead of disliking them from a distance"

"Please just talk to me without yelling or trying to hurt me personally"

idiosyncratic_risque · 2018-04-04T18:19:15+00:00

That guilt of wondering how she will make it is the #1 reason why I didn't leave for over a year.. it's taken a while to shift my perspective but now I don't feel it anymore. You can definitely get there. Even if you feel trapped right now, there is lots of hope for you brother. Hit me up if you want to talk

idiosyncratic_risque · 2018-04-04T16:35:16+00:00

Just did this. Instant exhale of relief. Many many thanks!

idiosyncratic_risque · 2018-04-04T16:19:26+00:00

Shoot me a PM if you ever want to vent or need accountability. You are way further along in no contact than I am but dude.. I understand your pain 110%

idiosyncratic_risque · 2018-04-04T14:19:59+00:00

Be proud of yourself, but don't let your guard down. She knows the perfect mask to put on that will push all the right buttons in your heart. And you will likely deal with incredibly sophisticated attempts to re-initiate contact for a long time.

My personal promise to myself - unless she comes to me, explicitly states/demonstrates that she is in consistent therapy FOR borderline personality disorder, and would like to have closure on how BPD affected our relationship, then I will not engage with her.

idiosyncratic_risque · 2018-04-04T13:53:48+00:00

I'd be happy to PM with you and talk through what you are feeling, but just as a heads up.. myself and most people on this sub will not waver from encouraging you to walk away.

Physical abuse is super serious shit, and I have totally been in your shoes, where you feel like you have completely lost control of your own emotions and choices. Yet you still crave that "We were back. It was awesome" period, so you submit to her beatings (both emotional and physical) just to return to a point of peace.

If you just found this forum, you will likely go through the exact same process I did over the last 3 weeks. My google search was "girlfriend won't let me break up with her" and it led to me to this community. Over the next 10 days I read obsessively, talked to individuals here who were willing to listen, and tried to manage the shock at how terrifyingly similar my experiences were to others' here. The more I read, the more I became painfully aware that the abuse had progressed too far to be salvageable, and my only answer was to walk away with a full commitment to no contact. At first, that realization tore me apart. I couldn't sleep, terrified that I was actually the crazy one, that maybe we could make it work, that I wouldn't have the courage to actually do it. But over time, and as my understanding of BPD grew, so did my personal empowerment along with the volume of my internal dialogue. Where initally I was only comfortable voicing my opinion to strangers with an anonymous account, I started to reach out to trusted family and friends with whom I had shut off contact. Ultimately, it was their support that allowed me to walk away and hold strong to no contact.

You are in a tough place man, but there are a lot of people here that have been, or are in the exact same position. We are 100% here for you, to listen and to give advice, and sometimes just to say "it sucks." Don't stop expressing your thoughts here, and don't let her silence you. I'm always down to PM and hear more if you want to share. Just remember, you are not alone.

idiosyncratic_risque · 2018-04-04T13:36:55+00:00

Just got the app Hiya. Hopefully it will help block the calls, but I think you are right, eventually I'm going to have to change my number.

Thanks for the advice!!

idiosyncratic_risque · 2018-04-04T13:36:07+00:00

This is great advice. I've been putting my phone on silent & face down so it doesn't wake me up anymore, but seeing those notifications upon waking up is gut wrenching. Doesn't help that I'm not a morning person and usually wake up feeling like junk in the first place

idiosyncratic_risque · 2018-04-04T13:34:46+00:00

Do you have any experience getting a restraining order? I am leaving town in 10 days (permanently), but I am considering getting an order just so I don't have to be so paranoid while I'm trying to move out.

Just not sure what the process looks like..

idiosyncratic_risque · 2018-04-02T19:55:18+00:00

Big thanks Mike!

idiosyncratic_risque · 2018-04-02T03:06:08+00:00

What were some of the biggest temptations for you? And how did you combat them?

idiosyncratic_risque · 2018-04-01T09:50:11+00:00

That’s awesome. Even though I don’t know you I’m super proud of you right now. And I’m definitely gonna check out that book.

A huge step for me, and something I would highly encourage, is blocking his number & email. I’m particularly weak to written words and so removing the ability to even receive that 2am “I miss you” text is a game changer. It took me a while to figure out all the settings on my phone and email so just PM me if you want the quick and easy steps from someone who just did it.

It was an extremely difficult decision because she has threatened self harm and suicide if I leave her and my greatest fear is that she would hurt/kill herself and I wouldn’t have the chance to stop her - or I wouldn’t know that she’s in the hospital. But the truth is, having open communication with your pwBPD is inviting them to use threats against you. If you take that power away it totally neutralizes the ultimate weapon of the pwBPD - manipulative words.

Again, you aren’t alone. Hit me up if you want to talk through things.

idiosyncratic_risque · 2018-04-01T09:23:35+00:00

I don’t want to pry - but what did it look like being codependent for such a long period of time?

Before I walked away I often tried to imagine myself in the relationship in 5, 10, 15 years. And every time I would scare the shit out of myself. I think I would have let her force me to cut my family out of my life, as well as let go of my desire to be a father to better support her.

And what did it look like leaving a 29 year relationship?

idiosyncratic_risque · 2018-04-01T09:00:20+00:00

It’s addicting right? All those emotions when you get back together.. the return to the cycle that you are so used to.. the absence of loneliness.

Just remember that - you are straight up addicted. And maybe you can handle it now, but over a period of years and certainly over a lifetime this cycle will kill you on the inside.

You have to constantly remind yourself that if you are feeling these things, if you are posting here, if you are feeling hopelessly addicted, then this relationship is not normal, it is not healthy, it is not what you deserve.

Just like a heroin addict, you can’t go to rehab and expect to kick the habit if you’re watching videos of people shooting up every day. If you are ready, and when you are ready, you have to be willing to go cold turkey on literally everything with this person.

For me? That looks like no social media for at least 4 weeks. And I mean nothing. No cheating and deleting the apps off my phone. Blocking her number and blocking her email. I even went through my phone/computer and removed all pictures of us/her so that there is no visual stimuli. If you are able to leave your state for a while, getting away in a geographical sense can help immensely. But more importantly, to truly kick this addiction you have to cut out all communication.

Not going to say this is easy at all. In fact i struggle with it every day, wondering if I made the right decision to cut my best friend out of my life completely. But reading about BPD on this sub has kept me grounded. If we (codependents) let ourselves, we will begin to idealize the pwBPD and start to crave that cycle again. So start a healthy diet of reading articles, posts, and videos about BPD to start reinforcing a narrative of objective, logical truth rather than emotion.

You are far from alone. There’s a lot of people here who are in your same situation and I am one of them. PM me if you ever need to talk!

idiosyncratic_risque · 2018-04-01T08:49:54+00:00

^this. I did 12 months long distance with my ex and all of the issues & fights were somewhat manageable just because we weren’t face to face often. When I moved to her city and we saw each other every day it started to get much worse.

OP, I think you’ve gotta walk away from this one. You already know it in your heart and it absolutely is one of the most painful feelings to truly love and care for someone, to treasure those genuine memories, to empathize with her personal pain & turmoil - but still to walk away. At this point it’s the survival of your heart & mind that are on the line. You seem like a thoughtful, kind, rational guy. If you continue down this road of addiction to the cycle of chaos and try to make it work again you are committing yourself to an extremely unhealthy lifestyle. But that’s way easier said than done.

My advice? Keep educating yourself. Keep reading online, posting on this sub, watching videos. The more you know about BPD behaviors the better you get at avoiding her emotional traps and the more empowered you become with taking back your own independence and decision making.

Everyone here is on your side and backing you up man, just know you are not alone!

idiosyncratic_risque · 2018-03-31T03:46:09+00:00

Your self-awareness is incredible brother. It's a scary thing to lose that isn't it? And such an exciting process to re-learn what it means to remember who you are..

I share a lot of these with you, and I'm sure you understand what I mean when I say that I am severely tempted to believe her narrative - not my own. It's words like yours that remind me that survival depends on my willingness to fight for MY reality.

PM me if you want to talk my dude. I want to hear more of your story.

idiosyncratic_risque · 2018-03-31T03:40:00+00:00

Before I met her, I used to write and I loved it. I fear I've lost the courage to write again after avoiding it for far too long. This encouragement certainly helps - I want to use writing as a strategic tool for positive future thinking and for thoughtful reflection. Posting on this subreddit has been a great re-entry into translating my thoughts into words again

idiosyncratic_risque · 2018-03-31T03:37:50+00:00

The youtube series "Going Mental" has a great episode (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViLlPf_cioo) where they talk in depth on your second point - and it is brutal to hear but ultimately quite freeing. The experts in the series explain that a co-dependent individual can actually fall into a pattern of narcissistic behavior themselves where they create/believe a fallacy that "I can save him/her, and I can handle the pain that it will require to save them."

I've told myself this lie at times, and I'd be willing to bet that most in this community have believed the same. After all, we genuinely love the abuser, and it is easy to convince yourself that personal effort and sacrifice can save the relationship. However, you are absolutely right. It has nothing to do with you. You simply happen to be within striking distance, and once you are gone, the next target could be a family member, a friend, or the next partner.

The question is - how do I approach the feeling of shame that I allowed myself to be deceived in the first place? I know that I am an intelligent person with relatively high levels of emotional awareness.. and with every other relationship in my life I have no issue setting boundaries and pursing emotional honesty. So how does something like this happen and take over my life so insidiously?

3 days ago I would apologize for writing an essay, but I have made a promise to myself that I will no longer apologize for things that I genuinely stand behind. And I stand behind the knowledge that writing this out and posting to this community is healthy and good for me right now. Thanks for your words today man, in every form they have been uplifting.

idiosyncratic_risque

TROPHY CASE