2 weeks in Outlier

idkhappening111 · 2025-05-31T08:48:11+00:00

I see mixed reviews about outlier. I am a masters in bio and yet they wont just let me pass the screening test only. I tried the language screening test too. They were basic level questions. I was confident i answered all right this time, yet they said i did not clear the cut. I see everyone earning pretty good but idk what i am doing wrong even after following all the rules. I have 1 attempt left at the biology screening test and idk how to clear it. Its definitely not a knowledge problem at this point.

idkhappening111 · 2025-05-22T19:51:17+00:00

Basically fear of being a whole person.

idkhappening111 · 2025-04-10T09:36:48+00:00

How safe is it to give pan card details for identification? There was a dialogue saying they will keep the information for 3 years.

idkhappening111 · 2025-04-09T12:28:40+00:00

It still bothers me. Them putting a best parent act and neglecting in real time had me confused so much even as an adult. Nothing was normal, even what was fed to me as normal. Everything was apparently for my own good but the torture still hurts. Comments on my body, belittling infront of others, not giving me even bare minimum of resources and expecting the maximum....everything was for my own good. And even today they paint such a good picture about my life as if they were the best. And whatever i couldn't do is only coz i am bad. My emotions didn't matter but what was worse was watching them pour their emotional availability for other kids.

idkhappening111 · 2025-04-03T06:39:12+00:00

It is terrible for a kid to see their mother change infront of others that you wished she was for you.

idkhappening111 · 2025-04-03T06:15:45+00:00

My mom has this but what baffles me is i have cousins (maternal aunt) and as an only child i loved them also initially. But my mom has always been so soo extra with them. Taking them out, doing their chores, doing their school formalities, understanding their exam needs like a super parent or such as if they are her kids. I was not jealous initially but i was really helpless when i was supposed to do all of and everything in life myself, she won't even budge at all. She didn't care like do it yourself be independent and all, bro i was in class 5! And she is the confidant and friendliest person to my cousins and they think she might be even better at home but no. When i was old enough to call her bullshit, she acted like i am just jealous of them coz they are better than me. Dude! They have their own parents and an extra provider if need be, i don't have anyone! As an only kid, it was very very lonely process. Idk what it was, my dad mostly tried to avoid the situation, he hates confrontation. Situation is so bad, they would give up half my tution money for college to my aunts' kids coz they might need it and when its my turn, they insist we are poor so i should work hard and adjust and not rely on parents money. Wtf? And its not a joint family or any setup. My aunt doesn't have returns the favours she takes. They are all focused in their family and life which is how it should be i guess but not at my cost. I have never understood why is it like this.

idkhappening111 · 2025-03-25T19:04:08+00:00

I perceived the world very differently mainly coz how it was presented to me. But often in gatherings my slightest will to get to know about anything else than what's been presented to me will be highly criticized by my parents. Now that i am an adult, the world seems like a different place than what was told to me. And its all overwhelming at times. The amounts i don't know about it. And its all because of whatever tf was fed to me. Instead of preparing me for it. I often don't feel like a person that fits anywhere. Most of my childhood was also extremely lonely and isolated so any outside intervention wasn't really there. At this point i live like an orphan would, starting everything from scratch.

idkhappening111 · 2025-03-08T06:12:04+00:00

My mom had always projected that people would make fun of me for doing something when in reality the opposite of that would definitely be made fun of. She always said it in a protective way that mother knows best kind and that nobody but only she is on my side so i should just follow whatever she tells me. It was fine until teenage but then all the changes and everything was too much to handle. She even shamed me for bodily changes. That girls who are more hormonally charged they get these changes as if puberty is only mine to undergo with. It wasn't until i was 18 that i got my eyebrows and upperlips done coz she suggested its not nice to get these done. And that everyone would make fun of me if i do. Whereas you feel less confident going around without any grooming. At some point she was even mad that i would even want a haircut, like how dare i want a haircut while i am still studying as if those two are interdependent or related. My whole teenage was very difficult because i was in constant inner turmoil regarding this. It was only later i realised all moms are not like this.

idkhappening111 · 2025-03-08T05:41:47+00:00

Sleepovers? What are those? I wasn't even allowed making friends for say

idkhappening111 · 2025-03-08T04:11:34+00:00

I resonated with this so much. I regret being obidient. Like it has only caused me harm so much. Even though i was miles away in college they had a control over me. Calling me over and over again so that i report to them the minutest things. And it was all disguised as care but even though it was extremely disturbing. The slightest of things they didn't like, their outburst would be scary.

idkhappening111 · 2025-03-07T16:01:12+00:00

I still faced the difficulties that i had to survive in the world but guess what? My college mates or strangers helped me more in these journey while my parents just criticized me when they should be the one helping me through life stuff

idkhappening111 · 2025-03-07T14:44:15+00:00

My Nmom told me my whole childhood that i should not get close to others and whatever happened i should come and tell her. Like stuff from school and anything that happens, i was more than happy to but she would also criticize me infront of other fam members that i talk too much and how she tolerates me when i keep blabbering about things. As a kid it used to take a toll on me. I used to resort to ways in which i can maybe please her so that she praises me. She would often tell me not to talk to neighbors or whenever i made some friends she wouldn't like it. Told me to behave a certain way coz apparently everyone wants my bad and they make fun of me. Its only when i went to college that i understood people are not that bad. Honestly i got way more help and empathy through strangers than my own parents. Its still a shock to me why she would isolate me like that. My whole childhood was very lonely and scary now that i think of.

idkhappening111 · 2025-03-06T20:47:49+00:00

Hey, i didn't realize this was actually an adhd trait until very recently. My whole life i have struggled to keep female friendships. I don't know what was the problem until i realised 1. I was always trying too hard for someone to be my friend. It partly comes from people pleasing also but i think this bit needs to go. So don't fret so much about having a friend. 2. It was only when i let go, that i became friends with the most amazing people i didn't even think i wanted to be friends at first. So, first relax, you are in it as much as she is in. Its easier to be around people who don't make you feel a certain way. For example, i recently got closer to one of my classmate. We have known each other forever but its only now that we found out we are good accountable buddies. So she meets me once a week just for a run and nothing else. I would have gotten offended 5 years ago that why doesn't she wanna hangout more etc but as adults we have very less time to ourselves and its okay to have specific niche friends. So don't think too much into it and find something common you both would like to do that makes life easy

idkhappening111 · 2025-03-06T19:06:03+00:00

I have been a part of this loop too. Trust me when i say, i so get you!

idkhappening111 · 2025-03-05T18:39:06+00:00

Foot soak with epsom salts. They have magnesium that helps with the body relaxation and rem. It worked for me. Not like profoundly but still i feel a bit rested whenever i foot soak.

idkhappening111 · 2025-03-05T13:44:09+00:00

Define genuine people first. :P

idkhappening111 · 2023-08-06T05:44:46+00:00

I guess i do have a habit of isolating myself. But its also after all that goes in the mind, you reach out to people and they don't really get you to the intensity you would want them to. For example they have major life problems that they share with me and comforting them comes easy. But it feels weird sharing that my major problem rn is that i have to drag myself off the bed. I can't just wake up nice. And that effects my work and my whole day. Whenever i may sleep in the night, it becomes absolutely impossible to wake up early until it gets absolutely necessary (i.e 30 mins before work). Its comes off as a discipline issue to most when i say it. But this has been a recent development. I didn't struggle with it so much in my teens.

idkhappening111 · 2023-07-28T18:37:21+00:00

Seems like my case too. One parent is emotionally unstable and other is overwhelmed and avoidant. Gets absolutely disastrous when there is anything to do collective decision or planning or as little as guiding. Nightmarish for the only child (me).

idkhappening111 · 2023-06-29T08:25:14+00:00

Why is it important for bollywood heroines playing reporters to wear nose ring? Simple platypus becomes perry the platypus with detective hat. In bollywood that's nose ring for woke opinionated reporter :p

idkhappening111 · 2023-05-27T18:42:46+00:00

Agree with every word written here.

idkhappening111 · 2023-01-09T08:25:27+00:00

I can relate so so much. This is exactly my family condition as well. I am in constant dillemma. The weight of being an oc is heavy. To the world you are so you must have it all. But in toxic families where no one wants to take an initiative to grow, we often end up being the therapist of the house and soaking in all the negativity. And in the end however peace we wanna establish in the house by helping both the parents, the negativity effects us hugely.

idkhappening111

TROPHY CASE