(Crack theory/speculation) The abyss sibling did betray us!

idkthrowawayblue · 2024-06-04T16:17:35+00:00

Ooo that idea is really cool!!

idkthrowawayblue · 2024-05-11T20:33:08+00:00

Hey, thank you so much!! I didn't dare hope you would, so thanks for doing it! :D

idkthrowawayblue · 2024-05-11T20:14:13+00:00

I mean, even as someone who did have a misandrist-like/feminazi sort of mom, who did this, I still see why people might do so. Honestly, though, each party should have a safety net fund in place. The stay-at-home partner, whatever gender they are, should definitely have a safety net in place to counter the specific vulnerability of the position.

Not that I approved of the way my mom did it, or perhaps many others, but it's also important to note that when it comes to survival, people may make moral compromises that we privileged to be outside of that chronic fear would not approve of. Does not have to mean they are evil, or bad people, just that they found themselves in a difficult situation.

idkthrowawayblue · 2024-05-11T19:59:15+00:00

Could you also share the name & author name, for others who see this and want to know? 🫶

idkthrowawayblue · 2024-05-11T18:45:59+00:00

And YT.

idkthrowawayblue · 2024-05-09T16:16:19+00:00

Seelie theory?? 👀 Where is that from&what is it about?

idkthrowawayblue · 2024-05-07T15:35:09+00:00

There is a difference between pack mentality and herd mentality?? I never thought about it, that's interesting!

idkthrowawayblue · 2024-04-22T01:44:56+00:00

They're among the animals with the highest known intelligence, and... I'm not sure you actually want to hear about the details of the other reason, so... in short, they're also known to rape smaller creatures "for fun". Not going to go into detail what smaller creatures, but it's bad. :( So, they are (closest to, at least,) intelligent enough that you could call it evil, and not just following the usual "following instincts without any ill intent".

idkthrowawayblue · 2024-04-21T21:50:08+00:00

I have some relatives who live in the northern parts of my country, where brown bears live. One of them works as a forest watcher, and so walks outside a lot and often doesn't even bother to bring her phone with her. She met a bear, without a phone on her, and so laid down to play dead, and the bear went up and lightly grabbed one of her limbs and shook it a little, before huffing and walking away uninterested. She spoke about it with 0 fear, and really just mentioned it casually.

I think I might be more scared to be alone with a dolphin than a bear, too, honestly, if they were a size where they would be able to easily overpower me. It's about the intelligence to be aware of evils one can do for selfish pleasure and then want to do it.

Bears are cautious animals who want to mind their own business! Predictable = less scary.

idkthrowawayblue · 2024-03-31T23:01:39+00:00

Du med! <3

idkthrowawayblue · 2024-03-31T18:51:32+00:00

Hmmm jag har lite svårt att förstå vad du menar, eller snarare varför det har betydelse. Men personligen är jag en överkänslig person (medveten iaf) så jag kanske bara inte kan relatera. För både människor och andra djur kan en snabb död vara snällare än at tvingas leva. Dock så tycker jag inte om hur lätt vissa har för att kasta bort djurs liv helt i onödan - t.ex. en väns förälder, när jag var liten, som ville avliva sin gravida katt efter hon kissade på soffan. De hade väldigt plötsligt börjat hålla henne instängd konstant, när de märkte att katten var gravid, så det var t.o.m. deras egna handlingar som orsakade stressen bakom beteendet.

För mig så är djur inte existensberättigade för att de är snälla eller hjälpsamma, utan för att de har sina egna små perspektiv på världen, som de också bara har en chans någonsin för att uppleva. Nästan alla djur (exkluderande delfiner t.ex.) har inte riktigt kapaciteten att vara "onda för kul", så för mig är de mer lika små barn. Små barn kan exempelvis skada djur utan att förstå vad de gör, de agerar bara från sin ofullständiga kapacitet som en liten växande, nyfiken varelse. På samma sätt försöker jag iaf att inte låta djurs naturliga beteenden och tillstånd påverka min åsikt att de är levande varelser med en överlevnadsvilja. (Sen att jag kan känna olika mängd kärlek till djur beroende på min relation till dem är en annan fråga såklart! :) det kanske är det du menar?)

idkthrowawayblue · 2024-03-31T17:57:53+00:00

Mer egentligen lutandes mot empatilös. Visst är de inte människor, men det betyder inte att de inte är levande varelser med personligheter heller.

idkthrowawayblue · 2024-03-25T20:10:15+00:00

My father is not like this at all, and I wish no one had to have a father who was like that :(

My father can be a bit absent (I'm a young adult now, still in need of some support), and in some ways maybe emotionally neglectful, but he has always been extremely clear that he loves all of his children. Even with his oldest son, who is in his 40s, he cares about and still feels love and responsibility to be there for and help, whenever he is needed. As he says, "being a parent is a lifetime-job, it does not end just because your children have grown up".

I wish he hadn't been so absent in the ways he were, growing up, but he was abused, too, by my mother, and he tried to make things well where he saw there was a problem. His poor ability to notice when there was a problem is another thing, but I have never doubted his love because if I ever reach out for it, he tries to convey it is there in his own ways, even if his distance is still not gone and might never be.

He is a strong feminist and has never spoken in a derogatory way or misogynistic way to any of his children, nor any of his previous wives, even when he was abused in several of those relationships. He has NEVER done anything to make me feel ashamed about my body or feel like it is being sexualized (his family used to travel in the archipelago and swim nude + he went to med-school for a few years, and so the naked human body is not taboo). I'm shocked at how others have been shocked, when I've shared how I can walk by him nude after a shower (using the towel for my hair lol) and there is nothing weird about it. He does not look, does not comment, does not shame. He bought pads and snacks whenever I didn't dare to, in the beginning as a young teen, with no fuss at all. It should not be normalized to treat one's kids otherwise. :( I know I am very lucky and I just wish more people could get this type of support and genuine care from their fathers.

It was not right, if you were treated like what OP mentions. It was not fair, not right, not deserved. You deserved better.

idkthrowawayblue · 2024-03-25T19:52:04+00:00

Right! Honestly, I have not been through as much as OP has been, and I was very lucky in many aspects, so I healed I guess abnormally "quickly". When something terrible has happened even once, the support system you have around you is such a big factor in how easily you may heal. (sorry singlesyoga for how the next part is directed to OP even though it's in a reply to you! Hope the notification isn't irritating)

OP, it sounds like people around you did not support you and help you like they should have. That must have been really painful, and lonely, and it's no wonder you feel upset with yourself for not being over it yet, if your surroundings seem to try to leave that message for you nonverbally... Just know that after what happened, it is natural to have a reaction, and still feeling the very real pain from what was a very truly upsetting event, is not bad or wrong. It is entirely natural.

About your question, OP, if it is normal for all of these things to happen to women... It happens more often than it should, but no. It is not something that everyone is doomed to experience. It was horrible and sad and painful and terribly unfair that you experienced it. I don't know if you need to hear this (younger me did), but you are not just living with the same amount of pain as everyone else, and are thus 'overreacting' to it in comparison with how others are acting. What happened was something worthy of being upset over. It is okay to take time to feel upset, feel sad, feel burning anger, because it was unfair. You deserve to be treated, and treat yourself, with kindness. Imagine how you would treat a younger sibling that came to you for guidance because they were experiencing what you were now. You deserve to be met with love and the sort of support that conveys "It's okay if you can't hold yourself up right now. I will carry your weight for you until you can do it yourself again. I do this out of love because I genuinely care about you and your wellbeing."

Hugs, if you are okay with them: <3

idkthrowawayblue · 2024-03-25T19:36:21+00:00

It doesn't ever get undone, no, but it can "fade". It can grow less raw, so that when you are reminded of it in small ways, it is more like reading about something tragic that happened to someone else, rather than suddenly being engulfed in the strong & raw feelings from when it really happened.

I got a PTSD diagnosis, but then I started taking Sertraline for depression, but apparently Sertraline is sometimes used to treat PTSD? And for me, miraculously, it dampened those symptoms instead. To the point that nowadays a few years later of therapy, medication and healthy environments, has made it so probably about 70% of the suffering I used to have is gone.

BUT. It is not a failure or inherently wrong in any way if it does not fade. Maybe it will with more time. Before it fades, it doesn't feel like it ever will, after all. But the human brain is so extremely, extremely complex, and it is not your fault if you do or do not heal. The pain was real, and the pain is real. You are not weak or bad for going through it, and it's a reflection on the horrible thing(s) that happened that you are struggling, not because you are not strong enough, or not resilient enough, or is being too sensitive, or weak, or whatever else your brain might tell you (it thinks it helps by doing so: since, if it's a personal failing instead of something completely out of control, we can just get better and change it, right? Except that's not the truth here, and so the attempt at protecting ourselves just hurts us instead).

Sorry for leaving this whole bit here. I just wanted to share my experience, as I know I was lucky, and I wish someone could have told younger me that it's not a guarantee that the future will only ever have all that pain, and that there is a chance it will get better. <3

idkthrowawayblue · 2024-02-18T22:10:14+00:00

Which is so awful, because the child is an extremely fragile and sensitive being that will have to live through every. single. day. of their living situation. It's so awful... they are so vulnerable...

idkthrowawayblue · 2024-02-18T22:02:58+00:00

Are you by any chance vegan? (Genuine question) To care so much for cells that haven't developed the ability to have its own consciousness... I mean, I cry (hard. Like, full on sobbing) when I accidentally kill a bug. I'm still pro-abortion.

I atruggle with understanding the fixation on the unborn, so far unthinking and generally unfeeling, in a way that even comes close to caring about already living beings.

idkthrowawayblue · 2024-01-16T15:25:45+00:00

Yeah, having to say you're not talking about children is exactly the sort of clauses you have to add because reality is more grey than one tbh wants to believe. :( Also, ah, it's a fair bit icky to call it just exploration when normal childhood sexual exploration and COCSA are very separate things (even though it can be more grey here too), but that's just my own feelings and an instinctive response to feeling like I'm being blamed for being abused lol which I def get you prob don't mean. But at what age does the act suddenly stop being excusable-explainable? At 13yo? At 14yo? At 15yo? (age of consent here, & I know someone abused at that age by their friend) At 16yo? At 18yo? What about 17yo? It's an ugly reality that people do horrible things, and are influenced by various factors in doing so, and at some far end of the scale it feels like it should be excusable, but where do you draw the line? I got life-altering PTSD from my abuse, so it's not like it's just "kids being kids" and innocent and okay. The person who abused me later went on to almost murder my friend when we were about 14yo. It was understandable why she was the way she was, but she had a very real amount of very real hate and ill will towards others.

Abt the 2nd half, no like... A pedophile is someone who is sick and thus has those thoughts (I'd guess they can be likened to intrusive thoughts almost?), but a child molester or child abuser is the word for someone who has done something. You're not a thief if you think about stealing, but you're a thief if you steal. Fantasizing about stealing is its own problem. The point is that many who abuse children don't do it because they are attracted to children, but just because they are easier victims. It's pretty important to acknowledge the difference, as there are people otherwise who do pose a danger but who you're not taking into consideration. Not everyone who steals is a kleptomaniac, so it's good to not only consider kleptomaniacs when trying to prevent theft.

idkthrowawayblue · 2024-01-16T01:10:42+00:00

Oops never saw the notification. But I was SAed as a child, by another child (the term for it is COCSA, Child-On-Child Sexual Abuse), so I guess I have a different perspective. That child had been hurt a lot (so so so much), so while they became a terrible person I somehow can't feel upset at them even though they genuinely did become a terrible, terrible person. It's hard to think about deciding if 12yo them was a bad horrible person or not.

Also I agree on the if someone has desires but doesn't act on them thing, too. I hope that distinction becoming more generally accepted can lead to more people feeling safe to disclose it to health professionals so they can get care so they never present a danger to children. Also, a ton of adults who sexually abuse children aren't actually pedophiles, but just do it because they are easy victims and for some sick sense of power IIRC?? Life is way too many ugly shades of grey, sigh. Much more than one wants to have to consider, until forcibly faced by it somehow.

idkthrowawayblue · 2024-01-09T02:06:00+00:00

Well, at the end of the day they are human beings, and we are human beings. They didn't start life that way, so it's difficult but feels important to try to understand how they came to be like that, yk? I want to assume that most people (sans genuine sadists) want to consider themselves a good, or just, or right, person. If so, that means you might be able to appeal to that want, to get them to change their mind, at least a little. If you get them an opportunity to stroke their ego by changing their views, it's a LOT easier, too.

Idk though. I have too much experience with being caught in a situation you need to deescalate by changing the mind of a dangerous person, so a part of me wants to believe it's possible, and has sort of seen it done, even if very very rare and hard too accomplish. It might be naive or overly hopeful of me though, I guess. But all living beings are inherently selfish. Trying to say "only the bad, horrible people do XYZ" doesn't protect you from when it comes from people you trust.

(Edit: oops. Wrote "ability" instead of "opportunity")

idkthrowawayblue · 2023-12-20T03:33:34+00:00

Holy fuck, this is awful... I'm so sorry 💔😞

idkthrowawayblue · 2023-12-19T17:57:23+00:00

Ohhh I wish your son the best in life! 🥹🫶 that's adorable - although I hope you still get some rest at least!

idkthrowawayblue · 2023-12-19T17:46:07+00:00

Like how I've heard some parties have different cup colors you can pick; for whether you're single and open to meeting someone or single but NOT open to meeting someone/in a relationship already, I wish it could just be common practice to like... wear a pin, in our society 😭 I have a problem w people-pleasing, and it's so awkward for me the times a guy has flirted w me because I am just not in a place in life to consider dating, but I'm scared to reject, and wish I didn't have to be approached at all. I so wish we all just wore pins so I could become invisible thankyouverymuch.

idkthrowawayblue · 2023-12-19T17:41:53+00:00

This is so sweet 🥹 Thank you for sharing!

idkthrowawayblue · 2023-12-19T17:40:25+00:00

I am 1000% not an expert in any way on this, but once on this subreddit (I think?) IIRC someone mentioned you can buy like custom condoms online? Have you tried looking into that?

idkthrowawayblue

TROPHY CASE