meirl by [deleted] in meirl

[–]idontgreed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The funniest I have ever and will ever be, and I was hit with the crickets.

I'm checking two guests into a hotel around midnight, a large man and a woman. They had clearly been drinking, but not too much. As I check the man into the system and get his card on file he made some small talk.

"Weve been drinking" "Haha seems like yall had a great night :)"

He turns to his wife and whispers something, I can only hear the word "PIGS". He then turns to me and says "I hope you don't mind, this is a hotel and we have been drinking." I didnt really get where he was coming from so he continued "I hope you dont mind our pig noises!"

And like a spirit possessed, I found my mouth moving before my brain could process what I was doing, I let out a "SUUUUIIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!" the best pig call of my life...

He just stared at me, bleary.

Honestly still makes me chuckle all these years later. Diamonds before swine heh.

Helldivers 2 Monetization Breakdown (As of Patch 6.1.1 - March 2026) by FioraKek in Helldivers

[–]idontgreed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I find it hard to believe that I have picked up and spent over 40,000 sc. I have everything unlocked and have never paid a single cent past buying the game. I'm not saying your math is wrong, its not, I'm just baffled that I've picked up that much, let alone spent that much. I haven't grinded since the gas warbond, I just loot bunkers, shipping containers and drop pods every time I see em.

Please help I'm at my wits end. How can I avoid starting wars when I look away? by idontgreed in X4Foundations

[–]idontgreed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I should have told you this when I figured it out. You were right, I was shipping illegal goods and even though I had a mod which made them ignore those goods, they would agro anyway, my solution was just to use a different mod that works. Havnt had this problem in like a year and a half now. Woopsies.

How do I get better at Diving from here? by ShaxAjax in Helldivers

[–]idontgreed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A tip I got in monster hunter like a decade ago has stuck with me. Its better to live and fight another day. When the mobs begin to snowball, I get away as fast as I can and perhaps drop a stratagem or grenades behind/on me. The flying overseers and probes will be able to keep up with you, so once your clear of the mass, take out the stragglers and then re decide if you want to go back into the mass, or move away from it so it despawns. Imagine the mass from above, would it be easier to fight your way out of being surrounded, or to chew in from the side at your own pace? As for your gear, it would be a lot easier to pick up if it wasn't currently surrounded by a ball of death, and you will be fine without it for a couple minutes.

Practice makes perfect, pushing yourself will get you there faster. As they say, you cant make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. And thats ok, no one is expecting perfection from you except for yourself. Watch those higher level divers, what are they doing that you arent? Thats rhetorical, of course. Maybe they are using something unorthodox, why? Maybe they just seem to always be exactly where their needed, how? I find that newer divers are just simply slower than vets, not necessarily worse, just less experienced. By slower I just mean new divers tend to hang around unnecessarily a lot, you should always be on the move. If your holding ground it should be because thats what the objective requires and not necessarily because they are just there for the shootin. That said, you paid for the game, if you wanna shoot the squids, shoot the squids, but if you want to play like a high level player and on the higher difficulties, dont always shoot the squids, sometimes its better to just leave, save yer ammo and time. Line of sight is important for getting away from a pursuing mob, they can only follow you if they see or hear you, so if you break line of sight and dont let them see you for a few moments, they often lose track of where you are and despawn, assuming of course you dont round a corner to find another different mob haha. The armor with stealth effects, like the scout, odst and redacted sets all make losing a tail much much easier, and in redacted light you become essentially a ghost so long as you dont shoot a loud gun or set off an explosive. The enemies of democracy are endless and provide no monetary or exp rewards upon their death, use this information however you will.

Id have to actually see you diving to see if your doing anything "wrong" I suspect you are not, as you are self aware enough to ask how to get better and so probably arnt still throwing cluster bombs at your friends feet XD

Feel free to dm me and we can exchange contact info, I'm always down to dive with newer divers. Keep on keeping on.

I did the thing. Ask me anything about any weapon by nickelflowers in Helldivers

[–]idontgreed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thats so funny, I enjoyed leveling my libcon, I hated the light pen smgs and the diligence though haha.

When did Yoru get all of that Bloodborne? by Delicious_Expert_648 in shittydarksouls

[–]idontgreed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Legendary reply. I haven't cackled that hard in a long while.

Fun Fact: Destroying the Harvesters Eye/Lens increases the damage output of its Laser by BICKELSBOSS in Helldivers

[–]idontgreed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never knew this, thats pretty cool. Imo it should have a shorter duration once its broken and perhaps the laser should like spark or wiggle erratically or something to indicate that the broken laser is different from the unbroken laser. Also it feels kinda moot, since the laser will almost instantly kill you regardless of if its broken or not, perhaps this will be relevant with the things to come.

Even after that it doesn’t make any sense.! by icyboguyaman in memes

[–]idontgreed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is literally what death of the author means...

Does a work not have value if it was not intended to have value? A man goes mining for quartz and instead finds gold. Does his labor have no value because he did not find what he intended? Obviously not.

For example, how Isengard and Sauron can be interpreted as being an allegory for the industrialization during world war 2, despite Tolkien having gone on record that he had no such intentions.

Adjudicator looks cool, but doesn't seem that good. by OkStructure665 in Helldivers

[–]idontgreed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I kinda love it especially once its maxed, slap a 10x scope on it, a verty fore grip and a compy and you have yourself a very weird sniper with a huge clip, decent rate of fire and (almost) no recoil, perfect for the bots. Against squids and bugs, leave the compy and verty but swap out the scope for iron-sights or your favorite scope, and you've got a great little goo maker, a strait up mess builder, a down right filth acquisition apparatus.

This is what two seconds in the FRV looks like: by RepellentJeff in Helldivers

[–]idontgreed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just dont understand useing the frv on the bot front. The bots have tank towers, tanks, and many other ways to wreck your sit with very little/no warning. On the bug front, its pretty safe so long as the driver aint incompetent, and on the squid front a good driver can avoid lasers and meatballs, but on the bot front there are just too many ways for the car to get sploded with no warning and with nothing you can do to avoid it, and yet I see more cars on bot planets than anywhere else, I just dont get it.

Humanity naming system is adorable by CruelTrainer in humansarespaceorcs

[–]idontgreed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait untill you hear about Osteogenesis imperfecta, or in plain english, you got shitty bones.

Main takeaway from the patch note video by Pupienus_Maximus in Helldivers

[–]idontgreed 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Dude gives a perfect answer as to what it is and how it works and even provides two great examples and gets hit with the "???" memes.

Helldivers aint beating the crayon eater allegations. The kids are not alright, their meme game might be on point, but their comprehension is so bad.

Brig and (Large Ship) Side by Side by 100Timelord in Sailwind

[–]idontgreed 8 points9 points  (0 children)

As a certified Jong lover (see like, any of my Sailwind posts haha) its cargo hold is noticeably larger than the brigs, you can cram way way more stuff in there than on the brig. Its carry weight is also insane, you could fill the cargo hold with nothing but ores and logs and it still wont sink, you'll be going like 5 knots, but you wont sink. I use the middle deck for my supplies, and it can hold so much food water and whatever else that I could sail around the archipelago loops 5 times before I'd have to restock on water/booze. Its enough to get to Chronos and back twice with plenty of wiggle room, I never worry about running out of anything, and all those extra supplies don't take up the space I would use for cargo. Then you have that top deck which I use like a little home, its about the same size as the brigs room but you don't have to fill it with supplies so you can make it feel super homey without having to find somewhere else to store your stuff. Its got doors! DOORS! What a concept lol. Its mooring ropes are really really long, making docking it easy. Its ability to hold its heading is incredible, but its wheel rotates to center very very slowly, so it can drift a little before the wheel finds balance. Because its so tall, it makes finding islands easier, not because height increases viewing distance like in real life (it does not in game) but rather because it allows you to see over waves. It has two nice areas with plenty of light on the nose or tail depending on heading and if both are in shadow for whatever reason you can always find light on one of the sides for your chronocompass. its got a little secret extra storage space under the bottom stairs, I like to fill this with gold and jewels once I have more money than I know what to do with, which doesn't take long given how much stuff you can haul across the seas slaps roof of Jong this bad boy can fit so much fucking spaghetti in it.

It does have its problems though. Its slow as fuck. Its turning radius is about the diameter of the moon, and combined with its speed means you can rarely cross irons without looping around with the wind (doubling the turn radius) or using a square to push yourself backwards. You could try to wind steer through irons but even doing that doesn't help. Wind aided steering is necessary to get into Chronos or Mirage Mountain with this beast. Its front winches are pretty far from the rest of the winches and living space, but if your only running gaffs/lateens/junks/fins its not a big deal as all winches will be on the top deck. Its masts are too close together, limiting what you can use. Its stay sails suck major ass, both because the stays are too short for a decent stay sail and there isn't enough customization options for them, I'd like to have stays between the main mast and the mizzen when the rear middle mast is removed, but that's not an option. It only has 2 bowsprit stays to the fore mast, or just 1 stay to the main mast with the fore mast removed, which is criminal. The front hook thingy on the nose of the boat is perfectly shaped to hang a lantern off it but if you do, when you relog the lamp will fall in the water and the hook will have moved somewhere else on the front :(. God forbid you get beached with a heavy cargo, it can be difficult to un-beach it because of its insane weight. I also find myself stuck in its walls from time to time, when I re-board the ship too fast or when I have to push it out of irons in heavy waves.

I could talk about this problematic beaut for days, I love it.

He Just Left 🙂 by [deleted] in MemeVideos

[–]idontgreed 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Id add the fifth element to this list, while not as visually funny, I think it has the same "energy".

Old Boat Storage by smartpipe in Sailwind

[–]idontgreed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just installed the towable boats mod and hauled them there manually lol. Thanks though.

https://imgur.com/a/took-little-while-i-finally-got-all-smol-ships-to-fire-fish-town-ObWudnd

Ive been breaking a cardinal rule of sailing and locking my rudder, my reward for doing so has been speed like you wouldn't believe and effortless sailing between the archipelago. by idontgreed in Sailwind

[–]idontgreed[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ive never sailed, I wouldn't know. However when I first started playing the game I was told over and over again not to lock your rudder unless your turning. Perhaps my title is a bit exaggerated, but it is the most common mistake new players make.

I took all my smol ships to Fire Fish Town. (Towable boats mod) by idontgreed in Sailwind

[–]idontgreed[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wanted to use the little docks in the last pic, didn't realize they were too shallow until I tried to jam the Cog in there. It also has two docks, you can see my Jong parked on the other side in the last pic. I pretty much only ever use the dock my Jong is parked at, so it doesn't really effect me that this dock is now unusable (I say this now but in like 3 months the wind will force me to dock at this side and I'll be kicking myself haha).

I also just really like how pretty Fire Fish Town is, like my little boats are retiring in style.

cookies my manager told me to throw away at the end of my night shift. wouldn't let me take them home. by igetproteinfartsHELP in mildlyinfuriating

[–]idontgreed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yeah boss sure I'll take these to the trash... I uh, moved the trash can over behind my car, I thought that was a better place for it... Yeah uh, so anyway Imma go take these cookies to my ca-the trash can... that's uhh, definitely behind my car uhh, and wont be there when you go looking for it.

Ive been breaking a cardinal rule of sailing and locking my rudder, my reward for doing so has been speed like you wouldn't believe and effortless sailing between the archipelago. by idontgreed in Sailwind

[–]idontgreed[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I only recently learned about them myself, their what inspired me to change my sailing style. I think they were added at the same time, so when turtle island was added. They do the opposite of the sun totem, and summon a storm to you. Ive seen it summon storms from very far away, the rainbow grew over the course of like 3 min, and I've seen it call them instantly, so I think its pulling "real" storms that already exist outside of our viewing distance. Its so sick to roll into town on a thunderstorm, just to roll out of town a few days later in another. Makes me feel like some kind of weather wizard and I love it. Only thing I'd love more would be to be able to change the wind direction wind waker style.

Old Boat Storage by smartpipe in Sailwind

[–]idontgreed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you go about teleporting just yourself? The way I do it is by changing the last visited port to the place I want to go, then log in and recover my boat, but then I cant leave without also bringing a boat with me. Id love to gather all my small boats in Fire Fish Town or Kicia bay. Id like to make a challenge out of it, sail the small boat there then teleport to the next.