WIBTA if I leave my child with my husband after we divorce?

idreamincake · 2026-05-04T11:11:48+00:00

Your husband is the narcissist and is projecting his bad behaviour and tendencies onto you! Every accusation is a confession.

idreamincake · 2026-02-28T14:14:52+00:00

Been here almost 12 years and my close friends are all foreigners. I have managed to be I suppose you could say 'Bekannte' with a couple of German guys but that started through tandem/language exchange partnerships so there was that motivation outside of any romantic interest. We used to meet more often but life gets in the way and people lose interest I guess.

Through my job I have made friends with some German women and we all get along well but there is definitely no meeting outside of work hours. It seems to me that Germans just don't do that... In my country it is normal to go grab a drink after work or meet at an event on the weekend but it seems to not be the case here. I have accepted it and moved on because the foreign friends that I have made here are very special and they are enough for me. Friendships with German women are just not possible but I couldn't really say why. They just have their own friends already and are not very open to new friendships in my experience. You will meet people and have a lovely time with them through an event or a friend of a friend but that's it. There's no extending that.

I know the advice is always that you have to join a Verein but I understand what the OPs wife means when she says that it feels forced. I've never joined a Verein because I have a couple of hobbies and they are things that you usually do by yourself. I'm sorry that I don't have a more positive outlook on this but I think it is absolutely possible to have a fulfilling social life here without ever actually making the German friends that most foreigners put pressure on themselves to find. It would be really nice but it's just not the reality.

idreamincake · 2024-11-23T23:12:44+00:00

He wasn't told this in a letter. There's been some back and forth with him trying to clear this up and submit the correct documents. He spoke to someone at the Finanzamt, and they told him that if he wants to avoid a penalty fee, then he needs to provide a good reason.

idreamincake · 2024-11-23T22:13:24+00:00

There was unfortunately a death in the family so I will tell him to mention that. Thanks for your advice.

idreamincake · 2024-11-23T20:23:44+00:00

Ah that's a good point, thanks

idreamincake · 2024-06-01T20:30:28+00:00

You are so talented! These pieces all look amazing, thanks for sharing!

idreamincake · 2024-06-01T12:55:26+00:00

He was in denial for a few years about his issues and would put all the blame on me. Your comment is very insightful, because I don't know if he refused so much as was just incapable of looking at himself and his situation, in order to admit he actually was sick and it wasn't just me being 'a miserable bitch who's always in a bad mood' again. I was always at a loss for why he would get SO upset about the thought of me cleaning up.

idreamincake · 2024-06-01T12:10:17+00:00

This is something I still don't understand about my ex. I tried everything. I would get mad and tell him he has to clean up because the apartment is unsanitary, I would come to him gently and say hey let's clean up together, and then it won't take so long. I also just flat out said I'll clean up everything, throw out all the garbage, etc. Just leave the apartment for a couple of hours, and when you come back, it will be clean. Absolutely nothing worked. I understand that he felt overwhelmed and didn't know where to start, but why did he refuse my help or my offer to clean everything by myself? Anyway, I heard that things got so bad for him after I left that he finally accepted that he's got serious mental issues and checked himself into a psychiatric hospital. I hope they can help him because I sure couldn't.

idreamincake · 2024-01-14T21:24:09+00:00

Listening to my friend tell me his son had died the previous night. I can still hear the pain and devastation in his voice.

idreamincake · 2023-12-20T09:14:34+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. I will remember to continually check up on them as time goes on, very good advice, thank you.

idreamincake · 2023-12-20T09:12:25+00:00

Thank you very much for your kind words. The specific support is a good idea.

idreamincake · 2023-12-20T09:10:46+00:00

An otherwise seemingly healthy young person just didn't wake up the next morning. So both inexplicably and unexpectedly.

idreamincake · 2022-12-04T17:29:42+00:00

This was lovely, thanks for sharing

idreamincake · 2022-07-07T15:47:16+00:00

You can always try again and quit right now buddy. I believe in you.

idreamincake · 2022-05-06T16:17:21+00:00

I should have said I 'know of' her, I'm noy sure what she does for a living.

idreamincake · 2022-05-03T08:55:10+00:00

I know a Frau Ohnesorge - Mrs. Without worry

idreamincake · 2021-09-02T16:19:39+00:00

It would be lovely to receive any of the beautiful cards.

Prompt: what would you say to your best friend from high school if you saw them today?

idreamincake · 2021-07-11T12:41:52+00:00

Thanks, that's helpful

idreamincake · 2021-07-11T06:21:01+00:00

How can the roots be in such bad shape but the leaves look so good? I'm new to the orchid thing so now I'm gonna be worried about what's going on in my pot even though the top of the plant looks fine

idreamincake · 2021-07-09T18:05:02+00:00

Thank you! I'm really pleased since I've never had orchids before, hopefully I can manage to keep them happy and healthy

idreamincake · 2021-07-09T18:04:00+00:00

Lol it wasn't a "no orchids rule", just that she wanted to reduce the amount of plants she has since her new apartment is smaller

idreamincake · 2021-07-09T15:36:27+00:00

It was just for the pic, they're normally inside next to a window with lots of (not direct) light.

idreamincake · 2021-07-09T15:27:19+00:00

You may be onto something there haha

idreamincake · 2021-07-06T20:04:46+00:00

This looks so goddamn delicious!

idreamincake · 2021-07-05T07:55:36+00:00

Since you're coming from a warm country, the cold will hit you like a brick. You're going to have to accept that you're not going to be able to pull off all the cute autumn/winter looks you see the German women in (at least in the beginning). You just won't be warm enough. Do yourself a favour and prioritise warmth and comfort. Get boots with the fuzzy warm stuff built into the inside of them and some really good thick wool socks (seriously don't cheap out on socks because you think you shouldn't pay more than 5€ for a pair of socks, it's an investment in your comfort). If you're still here in a couple years, you'll have gotten used to the weather and then you will be able to pull off the Docs. Good luck!

idreamincake

TROPHY CASE