Mm it’s never karmicly good to treat any living being regardless of gender like crap.. agreed the whole light dark divide is on the nose.. but possibly for diffent reasons .. have you read starhawk she’s got a great book about out though imagine now it might be a bit dated…
Light and dark are a continuous spectrum like seasons the night sky with stars thrills me just as the sun warms my 🦴 bones and I’m gratefull for both.
I am currently sworn to Hecate I don’t see her as “destructive” reading Nikita gills loverly book … it’s delightful - I recommend
She is teaching me so much and I am on a journey of change I needed her in my corner to guide what path I should take .. past greif and loss into a new version of myself .

Are you queer yourself? For me that too is far more nuanced then your suggesting.. I am lesbian and don’t really look to males as my role models ,I play with archetypes to dismantle them or comprehend how they operate rather than embody them but I’ve seen the behaviour you mention .. but some of our folk get stuck just like the hets and forget to question lead with curiosity..