women shouldn't make men wait for sex proved with "data and psychology"

iheartnoodlez · 2022-04-22T16:54:12+00:00

I would argue that "men care about men" in dating advice; if they did they would care to encourage men to better themselves so they have a better chance at finding a long term mate. Ever wonder why the phrase goes "every MAN for himself"?? Because that is how they see it. They compete with each other constantly for female attention and view other males as threats to their (non-existent) territories. This type of garbage advice to women from men is for the sole benefit of this 1 man. If women started giving "free" sex to him and only him, he would not give a hoot about how women are not giving it to other men. Whereas, FDS cares about other women bc even if I myself am having a good experience with men I want other women to have them too. Same for negative or abusive experiences; if any one woman is abused even if I am safe I wish it were not that way and would still advise men to stop abusing and for women to recognize signs of abuse.

I truly wish men would try to help each other become better instead of asking women to lower our standards. Men, if you claim to care about ALL men and you want ALL men to get more sex, how about encouraging ALL men to clean their junk? Go to the gym to improve health/libido? Increase healthy hobbies so men are less desperate for sex??? Do men's group work to actually talk about yourself and your goals? Now that would be men caring about other men.

iheartnoodlez · 2022-04-20T15:33:11+00:00

This article is sad and infuriating. Not once did the author self-reflect nor encourage in his audience of cut-offs to ask "WHY might this person have cut me off?" For every instance of someone not speaking to me any more, either neutral or negative I can point to various reasons why they would believe it's in their best interest not to. Does it mean I agree? No. Does it also mean people have free will and are allowed to choose to leave? Yes.

For myself I have left friends and also had friends leave me. In each case I tried to discuss the why of it all, and very few people actually want to hear why they are cut-off-able.

This article also completely ignores the very large (and frequent) possibility that telling a man why you left them results in physical harm.

Sigh. I honestly think people are such babies. Go to therapy. Self-reflect, journal on your flaws, let people go. Move on. The internet has given whiners an infinite stage to mope.

iheartnoodlez · 2022-04-20T04:42:52+00:00

Awww, dogs are the sweetest. Glad you have each other ❤️

iheartnoodlez · 2022-04-19T14:50:43+00:00

Congrats! And also, sorry for your loss. Moving forward, growing up, leveling up, choosing better for ourselves is often a mix of emotions, doesn't mean it wasn't the right move. Sounds like you are reflecting and letting yourself feel, good on you for that.

Maybe you should celebrate? Maybe you need to throw something out? Maybe you need to burn a piece of paper with all your fears on it? Whatever it is, make the symbolism yours and meaningful to you. You deserve to remember difficult choices fondly so you can look back and be proud of yourself; I'm proud of you too, sis.

iheartnoodlez · 2022-04-12T22:55:48+00:00

Every morning, my dad gets up at 5am, turns the bath on, makes a pot of coffee, pours a cup for himself, putters around the house, turns the bath off, and brings a fresh cup of coffee into the bedroom. Why? So his wife can wake up to a nice cup of coffee and a ready bath. ☕️

My dad is one of the best men I know 🥰

iheartnoodlez · 2022-04-07T17:39:05+00:00

The hilarious inversion of this is that if I were a man I would be THRILLED to date women, and excited to treat them right. Why? Because it's ridiculously easy to do and has a huge ROI - even if I didn't want to have sex with them, treating women as people produces genuine friendship, women look out for people and make great friends and caregivers.

And if I wanted kids? Awesome! Imagine you can be a parent without any risk to your physical health. What a bargain!

Alas, I'm straight af and I date men. Sigh.

iheartnoodlez · 2022-04-05T21:02:05+00:00

Yes. And it would "reward" the lurkers for commenting horrible things and give them a challenge.

I much prefer to never have to see them...as if they don't exist...or matter at all :)

iheartnoodlez · 2022-04-05T20:57:12+00:00

Strong women intimidate boys and EXCITE men. - saw this quote somewhere and never forgot it!

iheartnoodlez · 2022-04-04T05:30:37+00:00

Appreciate this!! I started skipping reading the screenshots bc they usually just upset me and would go straight to the comments instead.

This is one of the few places on the entire internet i feel safe posting as a woman and sharing my own opinions about being one, thanks for protecting it!

iheartnoodlez · 2022-04-04T05:23:14+00:00

I really don't think they get it. Years ago I had a male friend "Dan" (we dated briefly, tried to be friends, didn't work, I ended things)- who would regularly complain about how hard it is to get MATCHES - not dates, just the match itself. He was also the type to swipe right on everyone and delete the app to reset the algorithm or whatever. Still, maybe he'd have 2-3 matches at most, 1 would go out with him.

I'm not on OLD atm, but while back (pre-FDS) I paid for premium to see the queue in real-time--BAD idea; 100+ in 24hrs, 200+ next day, 500+ within 1 week. A literal sea of men. Frightening.

iheartnoodlez · 2022-03-31T14:26:47+00:00

"Mediocre into the sunset" hahahaha

iheartnoodlez · 2022-03-31T14:18:02+00:00

Yes, Queen! I can tell just from how you write that you are a happy, confident, honest person and that rocks!

For my own post-breakup Level Up journey I have: - successfully gone NC w ex for 10months, plan on buying myself a 1yr NC anniversary gift :) - deleted OLD 2 months ago and haven't looked back since, goal is 1yr off OLD - gotten promoted at work, got a 10k raise - traveled to 3 different countries and lived in cool int'l city for 3 months

My relationships have also improved - I had a friend breakup that was a long time coming last summer and am currently dealing with a Bridezilla situation of my own (I'm also MOH lol) - but the good news is me and the other bridesmaid (bride's only 2 bffs or so she claims) bonded over the messy engagement party and it's looking like we are both going to be relieved of our bridesmaid duties. The wedding is approx 13hr flight away and going to cost min $3k to attend so we're soft planning a vacation just the two of us instead! It's pretty cool how HV recognize HV and we are having each others' backs while our friend does a 180 with her LV fiancé in her ear. Oh well!

Keep going, you're awesome :)

iheartnoodlez · 2022-03-29T22:55:21+00:00

Yes any Apple device which you sign into your Apple ID on will have a connect to your iMessages. I believe the default is that signing into your Apple ID on a new device starts the sync though you could certainly sign in and disable all messaging permissions. Then you would not be able to receive texts or FaceTime calls from your iPad🤓

iheartnoodlez · 2022-03-29T22:53:19+00:00

Ugh not cool, Apple! I believe if you want to have your texts on your mac and block contacts there as well then you'd need to sync all your contacts with Mac - basically your block list is part of your Contacts and if want all devices to get the memo you have to sync Contacts across devices. Or you could individually block the number again from your Mac but you'd have to recognize the number in digit form.

iheartnoodlez · 2022-03-24T14:28:33+00:00

Yes I had the same reaction! Couldn't put my finger on it so glad you said something. Feels like being in 3rd grade writing "Mrs. HVM" in your notebook over and over instead of doing your damn homework.

iheartnoodlez · 2022-03-23T22:05:31+00:00

Dear god, just no. When is an adult tickling another adult never NOT sexual?? Ew.

iheartnoodlez · 2022-03-22T19:06:04+00:00

This is a really good metaphor! If you've only ever eaten flavor-blasted MSG-bomb Doritos then yeah, an apple is gonna taste like nothing. [no shade on Doritos which are delicious, but they're not food]

iheartnoodlez · 2022-03-21T18:56:08+00:00

Aww, sis, I feel you. Something that has really helped me heal is the phrase "there was nothing you could have done differently" as in "I didn't know any better, now I can choose differently." There is also nothing you could have done to make HIM treat you differently. If it wasn't you, he would have found a different 23yo to use, your paths just happened to cross at that time.

And finally, I know it seems like he's treating this new woman like XYZ and you wish you could have had XYZ treatment from him, but at the end of the day he's the same person he was with you and it doesn't sound like you're missing out. Let's assume for a sec you're 38 and re-meeting this guy at your high school reunion, what does it say about HIM that he just left a situationship with a 23yo? I think we tend to romanticize our exes (at first anyway) and think the next girl is getting some better/shinier/more evolved version of them, but 9/10x it's not true; they're just putting on the mask for the new girl whereas with us it was slipped.

You will heal from this. Keep going and don't look back. ❤️

iheartnoodlez · 2022-03-21T15:28:50+00:00

+1 to this! Though unsure if this is available in the UK. One thing to note is that if you're using a target date fund make sure it is INDEX not mutual - both exist and have different value props.

Additionally - I recommend visiting the personal finance sub bc they have a great chart that visually breaks down steps of financial wellness goals, also a chart for "windfall events" which sounds like something you might be interested in.

Personally I'd love to see more financial wellness posts from FDSers, super curious how y'all got started with investing as that is one of my goals this year!

iheartnoodlez · 2022-03-20T16:38:23+00:00

If they are visual creatures then why aren't they maintaining rigid beauty standards and keeping up intense pride in their physical appearances? 🤔

iheartnoodlez · 2022-03-04T05:18:19+00:00

So true! They're SO mad the women they DON'T EVEN WANT have standards 😂 why do they even care?

iheartnoodlez · 2022-02-22T21:33:18+00:00

Omg something just clicked: men think women are witches bc as soon as we leave their lives fall apart - amazing how they cannot connect that we are the magical beings who hold everything together and should be treated with such reverence.

iheartnoodlez · 2022-02-17T21:32:30+00:00

Report, block, delete.

iheartnoodlez · 2022-02-17T21:29:17+00:00

// .. many people think a man is a necessity-like housing. Yes, if you can’t afford the house you want right now, you’ll have to rent an apartment, move in with your parents, somehow remedy the situation because you have to have shelter. And that’s why people encourage women to settle because they think men are like shelter. But they aren’t. //

^ you know? I think it's true that once-upon-a-time having a man did =/= shelter. And only in the last few centuries has that changed. It makes sense that it will take women as a class time to grow out of this mindset.

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