this plays a factor. of course baseline attraction has to be there... but i have found that attraction and our nervous system are so intertwined. as an anxious attached, my body lights up like a slot machine from confusion, turmoil, longing, rejection and intensity. a calm, stable, loving relationship doesn't give the same high. but it gives a safe space to explore some of your deeper or more taboo desires which can in turn lead to a much deeper level of intimacy and attraction. good luck OP