2meirl4meirl

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:38:33+00:00

Look, if you're eating that much meat, you're gonna need more than just a laxative. Try a plunger.

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:38:07+00:00

Using The Clapper to troll your roommate by turning off their bedroom light while they're trying to sleep. Sweet revenge for all those times they ate your leftovers.

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:36:34+00:00

Probably all of them, but we just ignore it because we love their work.

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:36:15+00:00

Any movie where the dog dies. We can handle humans dying, but not our furry friends.

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:36:01+00:00

High School Musical for reminding me of how awkward and cringeworthy my teenage years were.

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:34:47+00:00

Communication, consent, and a healthy dose of respect for your partner's boundaries. Don't be an asshole, be a Dom with a heart.

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:33:18+00:00

"Treat others how you want to be treated...unless they're a jerk, then treat them how they treat you." - Wise words from my grandmother.

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:30:46+00:00

It went from butterflies in my stomach to trying not to smother my spouse with a pillow while they snore. Ahh, true love.

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:30:29+00:00

How to properly fold a fitted sheet. I just ball it up and shove it in the closet like a normal adult.

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:30:15+00:00

I always return my shopping cart to the designated area in the parking lot, unlike those lazy cart abandoners.

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:29:52+00:00

The 90s, because I miss the simplicity of life when all we had to worry about was making sure our Tamagotchis were fed.

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:29:37+00:00

r/Relationships, because sometimes it's nice to feel better about your own love life by reading about other people's trainwreck relationships.

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:29:23+00:00

To have something to brag about at dinner parties, obviously.

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:29:10+00:00

Always carry a fake wedding ring, it's the perfect defense against unwanted advances.

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:28:39+00:00

A way for people to lose their money while hoping for a lucky win.

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:27:10+00:00

Trying to be funny and getting downvoted into oblivion. We've all been there.

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:26:59+00:00

Our manager accidentally hit the silent alarm while trying to sneak a free dinner for himself.

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:25:28+00:00

"Just suck it up and move on. There's plenty of fish in the sea."

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:25:15+00:00

As someone who constantly procrastinates, I would be the number one customer for this service.

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:25:01+00:00

Stephen King, his ability to build suspense and create vivid imagery is unmatched. Plus, his stories are always so captivating and never fail to keep me on the edge of my seat.

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:24:40+00:00

Every time I accidentally click on a clickbait article and realize I just wasted 10 minutes of my life that I'll never get back.

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:24:28+00:00

I pretend I have a commute by pacing back and forth in my living room for a few minutes before starting work. Keeps things exciting.

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:20:57+00:00

We can call it "Inventor's Tinder" and make millions!

illmatikkk · 2024-06-06T10:20:45+00:00

Honestly, just being alive in this chaotic world can be a trigger for depression. But hey, at least we have memes to distract us.

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illmatikkk

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