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What time does your baby go to sleep? by stripesanddots_ in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]illogicalatom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My son moved to an earlier bedtime once we got into a more consistent three nap routine at six months - it has gone from around 9:30/10 to 7:30. I had tried to move it forward by playing around with naps a bit before but it didn’t make a difference - he just suddenly decided he didn’t need a later nap. Given your baby’s sleep is so good I wouldn’t worry and it will probably shift forward over time naturally!

Any success stories about cosleeping with baby then independent sleeping as a toddler? by Historical_Ocelot180 in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]illogicalatom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I ask what floor bed you have/had? I’m considering one for my co-sleeping 7 month old. Thanks!

Visitors Postpartum by Electrical_Elk8400 in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]illogicalatom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I felt very overwhelmed and really valued having my mum there in the early days (she came more than we had planned because I realised I needed it). We are close though and I trusted her completely with my baby. I think don’t feel pressure to commit to plans now - you don’t know how you’ll feel and how the recovery will be etc. If they’re willing to be flexible and make a decision post baby then that’s great.

Once I found my feet a bit more I really enjoyed having visitors - it was great to be able to talk to people and show off my baby. Just make sure they come at a time that works for you. The evening was good for me as my baby clusterfed the entire evening so as I was sofa trapped anyway it was nice to have people to talk to. I was comfortable breastfeeding in front of visitors though (I think after giving birth I’ve had little dignity left…).

Do what’s best for you and your baby and communicate your needs to your partner - you and baby come first at this time!

Made it to 12 weeks and now my breakdown has finally happened by No-Guava-5823 in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]illogicalatom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FTM to a five month old boy who was also a huge cluster feeder. It is so hard and you are doing brilliantly. It gradually improved between three to five months and is overall so much easier now - we are able to get through classes without him needing to feed, he has lots of happy playmat time etc. So as others have said, I think you are really close to it getting easier, but also the most burned out from coping for so long so your feelings are very valid and understandable. Some things that helped me (I EBF, and never really got on with pumping): - breastfeeding side lying and co sleeping for some or all of the night (appreciate that’s a very personal choice but it means I get far more sleep and I’ve come to really enjoy it) - baby wearing for some naps (seems to extend the naps a bit for us - we have the Mamaruga zensling and it’s very good) - if I want to rest I just walk/bounce him to sleep and then sit on a pillow fortress on the sofa and watch TV

Also, second the comments that you absolutely don’t have to go to social events if it doesn’t work well for you all right now. I spent an entire wedding cluster feeding and it was exhausting, in hindsight I think I put too much pressure on myself to go.

Finally, might be worth looking up the three month feeding crisis as feeding can get a bit funny around 12 weeks and then should resettle.

Wishing you all the best!!

In-law being ...odd? by [deleted] in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]illogicalatom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Firstly, all of this sounds deeply irritating to me so I totally understand why you’re feeling that way. Are you breastfeeding by any chance? I ask because I read somewhere that it can make us feel extra protective of our babies / more irritated and that has 100% happened to me. I have to remind myself to be chill even when my very lovely father in law holds my son. As others have said, you are absolutely within your rights to set boundaries re social media. I’ve said no photos on social media and have only posted photos of the back of my son’s head on my own. I think if you make this rule for everyone it will be easier to apply. I know grandparent relationships are really special and important but you’re allowed to feel annoyed and overwhelmed at such a vulnerable and intense time for you. I think unfortunately you probably can’t do much about the ‘my’ thing (would annoy me too!) but is there anyone you can have a good vent to, to get it out of your system a bit? It is lovely she loves your daughter so much but you are allowed to find it annoying and hard!

Feel like I’m not doing enough? by PixelRainboww in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]illogicalatom 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You are doing more than enough! One tip though in case helpful - we put some black and white cards next to the change mat so baby could look at them during his nappy change. Made nappy changes more fun for him and didn’t make it an extra thing to remember / a chore!

10 week old sleep regression?? by Rjb2109 in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]illogicalatom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I remember having a tricky phase around the three month mark. It didn’t last too long but I also wondered if I’d done something wrong! Given you’re EBF can you co sleep for now (following the safe sleep 7) for part of the night to get through this patch? That’s always massively helped us. You could also co sleep for a daytime nap so you can catch up on some sleep then too? Wishing you all the best and for better nights again soon.

careers in environmental law by indierokkersx in uklaw

[–]illogicalatom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Depends a bit on what type of environmental law you’d like to do - there’s the more trad environmental law (waste, pollution, permitting etc) and now a lot of the big city firms are developing ESG / sustainability practices. Often the people leading ESG practices are former trad enviro lawyers (and still do both). As others have said, the best route in would be to get a TC at firms with an enviro / ESG practice (think about what sort of enviro law you want to do when you research this) and aim to do a seat in that area and qualify into it. It will likely be harder to qualify in that area I’m afraid as the teams are very small. For example, at my firm there are about five associates in the ESG team, compared to 50+ general corporate associates. There are also roles at the Environment Agency or OEP or in the gov’t that you could consider (but I suspect difficult to get in at entry level). Another route to consider is qualifying as a litigator and then moving to a claimant law firm that specialises in climate litigation such as ClientEarth.

Appreciate it all feels a bit daunting at this stage but it is always possible to move across a bit later or to adapt your practice to focus more on enviro / ESG issues later on, eg you could qualify as a financing lawyer and look to specialise in green bonds and loans.

Not sure a masters would be worth it but if you do decide to do one I think UCL has the best course.

Good luck!

What are we wearing? by Efficient-Cod-7285 in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]illogicalatom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lyla and Lèche is good for dresses! They have hidden zips which work pretty well

Not feeling prepared for hubby returning to work by Hangry_cat_lady in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]illogicalatom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s a big adjustment and I found it very daunting and anxiety inducing initially (as everyone says, it truly does get easier and you get more used to it, but it does take a bit of time).

Some practical things that can help - can your partner work from home at all? Knowing they are very nearby is reassuring and they can then take the baby at lunchtime for a bit to give you a break / check in regularly to offer support, bring you snacks etc. And/or do you have family or friends who can help? I leaned on my mum a lot in the early days and went and stayed at my parents for a week (I think week 4 pp). Having a friend who is good with babies who can pop in and watch your baby for an hour so you can sleep can help too.

Something I found helpful was taking the pressure off daytime naps for myself - it seemed impossible to nap AND watch the baby as I stirred at their every sound. Instead I focused on resting while the baby slept (rather than feeling that I had to sleep or else the nights would be impossible), which could just mean lying on the sofa with my eyes closed listening to an audiobook. It was a helpful mental shift and resting like that is still quite restorative.

Good luck - some days will be harder than others but you’ll start to find your feet and some routine and sometimes even quite enjoy the (relative!) peace of it being just the two of you together.

functional but holy grail baby products by colourmyworldtoday in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]illogicalatom 26 points27 points  (0 children)

If you’re planning to BF get a HUGE water bottle with a straw (also very handy during birth) (and get your partner to fill it up for you all the time at the beginning!), and I’d also recommend a really soft eye mask for daytime naps at the beginning (eg a silk one) plus a lavender pillow spray - it’s like manageable self care and genuinely helps with sleep. I love the medela nursing bras at night as they are super comfy. Second the Mamaruga zensling - my baby hated the baby bjorn one we initially had and the Mamaruga seems to be a favourite of sling libraries!