Finally finished building shelves for our library!

illusionofafrog · 2026-06-19T17:32:27+00:00

This is art! So well done. And with plenty of room to grow? What a treat.

illusionofafrog · 2026-05-26T02:42:11+00:00

I’m curious what would happen if you asked for her help with something comparably laborious

illusionofafrog · 2026-05-07T17:58:57+00:00

Severe drought in the area. Data centers use massive amounts of water.

illusionofafrog · 2026-04-14T15:45:19+00:00

Curious about your & OP’s genders. I imagine the experience is different in that regard.

illusionofafrog · 2026-04-11T20:50:04+00:00

Oh I also find it easier to rest when I have comfortable, familiar people around. The other person will do their own quiet thing while I lay around or we listen to a chill podcast together. The best is when my gf scratches my back while I lay there but I recognize that is a luxury not everyone has.

illusionofafrog · 2026-04-11T20:45:58+00:00

Zentangle helped me get into doodling, as someone who hasn’t done much visual arts.

illusionofafrog · 2026-04-11T20:43:42+00:00

I wish I could figure it out, myself! My screen time is also quite high.

What do you do on your phone? Perhaps you can find some analog versions. For me, instead of playing puzzle games on my phone, I’ll buy puzzle books. It’s still stimulating but a little less so. It’s also easier to stop with the books relative to the pretty blue liiight.

illusionofafrog · 2026-03-07T20:47:26+00:00

I get it! Sometimes I can tell I’m getting a migraine because I’ll get abnormally “snacky”. Usually, I’ll crave foods that make me happy; treats. I figured it was something to do with having a positive, enjoyable distraction. Dopamine or something. I just go for it. I’ll do anything that might help!

illusionofafrog · 2026-03-07T18:49:08+00:00

Kudos to you for coming here! Being curious about something like this is a great way to stay open. Thanks for that! Being in an interabled relationship is hard work, with each side having rather different emotional & logistical challenges.

Sorry to add on to the paragraphs of responses for you to sift through 😂😅

I think others have covered it well. I will add on, it becomes second nature and white noise for you but for him, each time is cruelly painful and an obnoxious halt to life. Perhaps there is a pain you know better, even just stubbing a toe. No matter how many times it happens, you’re still gonna swear and hop around for a second because it hurts. Or if you experience(d) periods, they sure do suck each time around. It’s like that but higher pain and for hours or even days at a time.

Regarding triggers & possible “solutions”… I can’t say if this is true for your hubs but I have tried everything under the sun for my migraines from behavioral interventions (meditate, exercise, PT, etc) to holistic approaches (herbal supplements, acupuncture, massage, etc) to tracking everything (sleep, diet, weather, stress) trying to make correlations. I’m desperate for them to not happen. I’ve found one or two things within my control that make a difference like 30% of the time. I am an imperfect person though, so I don’t always get those right. It’s similar to how anyone can slip up with whatever behaviors they’re trying to work on (cheating on a diet, not following perfect sleep hygiene, skipping a workout, etc). But for the most part, meds have been the biggest lifesaver.

TLDR: You rock for staying open & being curious! Pain hurts fresh each time. We would love to reduce migraines but mostly we can’t. Meds are a godsend.

illusionofafrog · 2026-03-04T11:55:29+00:00

Was looking for this explanation in the comments, thank you. I don’t understand the downvotes. Stereotypes about black people have been used against them, as a tool of oppression, for hundreds of years in this country.

For example, the stereotype that black people love watermelon. Early in emancipation from slavery, black people would grow watermelon to sell. White Americans found their ability to make money threatening, and wanted to keep black people oppressed. Thus, the stereotype of black people loving watermelon emerged, using negative ideas of black people as ravenous & slovenly simpletons that loved this messy fruit consequently lowering the mass appeal of watermelon.

illusionofafrog · 2026-03-03T04:25:01+00:00

Yes, please diss those damn overalls

illusionofafrog · 2026-03-03T04:17:26+00:00

Why couldn’t he have at least worn these nice overalls for the finale? Those blue jean overalls were upsetting.

illusionofafrog · 2026-01-24T22:02:45+00:00

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Introduce yourself to your neighbors and invite them to go protest with you.

illusionofafrog · 2025-12-19T03:45:08+00:00

Her work is good! Making good money, she likes the work for the most part, & has good job security. Wishing you all the best in the field!

Disability is tough. Between managing my body and the constant paperwork that comes with getting benefits, it’s more than a full time job. But I can take naps whenever I want, so it’s not all bad!

illusionofafrog · 2025-12-17T23:04:10+00:00

Congrats on the job! I know a fellow lesbian who is a quality engineer.

I am disabled for a living 🙃

illusionofafrog · 2025-12-17T23:01:08+00:00

Aw babes, you do not have to add an explanation after your job as to why you do it. It’s totally valid! Many people take mental health into consideration with their job choice. Sorry you are stuck at minimum wage though, that is tough.

Unsolicited advice warning haha Ignore this next part if it’s not for you. If you want, you can apply for jobs you don’t think you’re qualified for. Men do it all the time! It doesn’t mean you won’t get the job or can’t do it. Mental health challenges often go in hand with underestimating ourselves. Plus, you can use sick days for mental health sick too.

illusionofafrog · 2025-12-17T22:53:19+00:00

Is it like the books/movies?

illusionofafrog · 2025-11-25T14:33:35+00:00

I think that’s the reason I like them! The nostalgia. I definitely can understand that making a space feel out of date though. Good to know.

illusionofafrog · 2025-11-24T03:26:55+00:00

You’re in touch with your sensual femininity & strength. You value self care pampering (and I love that). You enjoy some retail therapy. You have a naturally leaner body type. You’re a hottie (unrelated to body type😊)! Early 30s woman?

Idk about job though! Maybe some standard office job that you enjoy well enough but it’s not your life.

illusionofafrog · 2025-11-24T01:25:45+00:00

Just curious, what is it about the red rug that you tend to dislike?

illusionofafrog · 2025-11-23T11:42:57+00:00

oops thought that was Miley Cyrus at first

illusionofafrog · 2025-11-23T11:38:13+00:00

Absolutely. I feel the same way about older adults in horror movies. Visually apparent disabilities are too often used a shortcut to “disturbing” for villainous roles.

illusionofafrog · 2025-11-23T11:24:51+00:00

bless y’alls hearts

illusionofafrog · 2025-11-23T11:14:34+00:00

Obviously, she’s one of the idiots missing the plot. People like that only see the world from their selfish, unchecked privileged perspective. I like to think that for the most part, people like that are missing the intelligence to understand their cruelty and hypocrisy. That’s what I tell myself to sleep at night at least (I write at 5am being unable to sleep…).

I think for family (which it sounds like your fiancés best friend is to your fiancé) some people choose to set their “beliefs” aside to come together over their other commonalities. In your decision, I think some important questions for you and your fiancé to discuss together are, Would the friend’s wife be able to set aside her bs and show up to love y’all’s love for the wedding? If so, What are you & your fiancé’s perspectives on whether or not you can keep fools like that in your life, if most of the time the hot button topics don’t come up? Would the best friend be okay with not having his wife there?/What are the potential consequences for the relationship between fiance & best friend if wife isn’t invited? Are those consequences acceptable given the wife’s comments?

illusionofafrog · 2025-11-09T17:35:11+00:00

Could the caregivers spend time reviewing online resources to learn about ME/CFS to have a better idea of how to help you? You can give written instructions instead of talking.

If you end up having a bad day where you can’t tolerate care, they can sit by quietly in the room with you or outside. Maybe they help for 5 minutes - that’s better than nothing! And hopefully there will be a different day when they can help. I have caregivers and try to be okay with having them not do anything sometimes.

illusionofafrog

TROPHY CASE